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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to The Collective co-founder Stefanie Brown James about electing Black women to office, the virtues of dating younger people, things that have overstayed their welcome and the rest of the infamous Tae Bo story.
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Kenrya: So before we get started, we're here to do some begging.
Erica: We are here to beg like 1980s and 1990 R&B stars like who? Keith Sweat.
Kenrya: Keith Sweat, yeah. Remember when we saw him in concert?
Erica: It was like the apex of niggas in linen pants, those little A tank tops, and Stacy Adams.
Kenrya: It's true, but it was a damn good show. We were in our 20s when we went to that show.
Kenrya: We were very young.
Erica: Now I wouldn't be mad at a fine gentleman in some nice linen pants.
Kenrya: Me too. And I can still appreciate the begging of Keith Sweat.
Erica: Can we? Like he says, he begs to your woman so you don't have to.
Kenrya: Exactly, but today we actually do have to beg.
Erica: We doing our own begging, right?
Kenrya: Yeah. And you don't have to break out your linen, but what we do want is for y’all to tell us what you think about the show.
Erica: Yeah, so it sounds like work, I promise it does, but it's painless. All you're going to do is head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com/Survey and answer a few questions. It will help us give you more of what you love.
Kenrya: Yes, help us, help you.
Erica: Yeah. On the survey, is one of the questions, “Do you guys enjoy Erica singing?”
Kenrya: That is not one of the questions on the survey.
Erica: I feel like it should be.
Kenrya: You think it should be?
Erica: I feel like it should be, but whatever.
Kenrya: Just yo, if you all give us a few minutes of your time, you can help us give you more of the show that you love. And all you got to do is head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com/Survey. Yes, please, and thank you.
Erica: Okay, so let's start the show.
Kenrya: All right.
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Hey good people, welcome back. Today we are talking to Stefanie Brown James, pronouns she and her. Stefanie is the co-founder and senior advisor of The Collective. A network of five affiliated organizations, including The Collective PAC, that are dedicated to supporting and funding Black candidates to help them win elections on the local, state and federal levels and to the expansion of engagement of Black voters in the political process. A native of Cleveland, Ohio, Stefanie previously worked as the vice president of training and community engagement at EMILY's List. She was national African American vote director for the 2012 Obama for America campaign. And she was the national field director for the NAACP. Stefanie's married to her business partner, Quentin James, and is the mother of two amazing little boys. Hey girl!
Stefanie Brown James: Hey, y'all. What's up? Kenrya's voice is next level. Next level voice.
Erica: It's like smooth butter silk. Yeah.
Stefanie Brown James: The definition of smooth operator.
Stefanie Brown James: That's how this podcast is about to go. We already see.
Erica: We already see it. Okay. So first, Stefanie, thank you. Listeners, little do you know, Stefanie and Killa were little besties running the mean streets of Cleveland together.
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.
Erica: And then I joined along because of a Tae Bo tape. Stefanie was there, part of the Tae Bo tape experience.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes, yes.
Kenrya: So, we've told that story on this show, but we couldn't say who it was because we ain't have your consent, but now we can.
Stefanie Brown James: Yay, Tae Bo!
Erica: And we still here.
Stefanie Brown James: Still here.
Erica: Okay, so what did little Stefanie want to be when she grew up?
Stefanie Brown James: Little Stefanie knew she was about to be an actress, honey. I took theater classes.
Erica: Makes total sense.
Stefanie Brown James: I know, my theatrics. Yes. As my sister says, the dramatics follows me. And that training I had at Karamu House, which I must say is the oldest Black theater in the country, really helped-
Kenrya: I also went to Karamu.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes. Listen, Karamu House is like a legend. And so I took acting lessons for a long time. I did a few plays. Then I realized, I can't remember my lines and maybe this isn't actually what I've been gifted to do. And yeah I've moved on. But that's what I always wanted to be, honey. Yeah.
Erica: I can totally see you on stage like...
Stefanie Brown James: Literally.
Erica: My line.
Stefanie Brown James: My mom is in the audience like, "And she says." She's mouthing it to me and I'm like... “And she said.”
Erica: Also, shout out to your mama who we love and adore. She's like [inaudible 00:03:35]
Stefanie Brown James: We need to get her on the podcast. I'm sure she got some jewels she would drop. Some old schools.
Kenrya: You know what…
Stefanie Brown James: She's 52 years married.
Kenrya: That's insane.
Erica: I actually have something in mind for her, so okay. Let's see. Sorry. Let's keep going.
Kenrya: So how did you get from wanting to be an actress and not being able to remember your lines, to what you do now?
Stefanie Brown James: So I, as a teenager, actually, Kenrya and I were involved in the Cleveland NAACP youth council and just really got involved in youth activism work and going around the country to different conferences and meeting other young people that were really dedicated to Black issues and Black history. And just figuring out how we can be involved in modern day civil rights. And that kind of upbringing through the NAACP led me to Howard, where we met Erica and...
Erica: Tae Bo tape.
Stefanie Brown James: Yay. And just really instilled in me that I wanted to do everything I could to push for Black progress and eradicate white supremacy in this country. And so that is what my lifelong work is. That's what my mission and passion is. And it has led me to do what I do now with The Collective and the work that I did as a national staff NAACP member. And so, yeah that's where I am now.
Erica: So, what's the most challenging thing about what you do?
Stefanie Brown James: Ooo-wee. You know what, right now the most challenging thing is, so The Collective is five affiliated organizations. What we're most known by as The Collective PAC, which we turn five pretty soon. We're going to have a nice little anniversary party in DC, y'all will hear about it
Erica: Just sat down and told us about it.
Stefanie Brown James: Listen, time is moving. And so, one big challenge that we're having is we have these five organizations. I think we're up to 21 staff members who live everywhere in this country. Most of them, we have never met in person because they were hired during the pandemic. So that has been really interesting to both go from one organization to now five. From two people, to now 21. We're a $25 million operation. What is that about? What you supposed to do with that? You know what I mean? So it has just been a lot of learning curves along the way in the midst of a pandemic, especially, but we have a really great team of people, so we're learning and overcoming the challenges, but that's something that we kind of face every day.
Erica: What's your favorite thing about what you do?
Stefanie Brown James: My favorite thing really is supporting Black candidates. And there are so many phenomenal Black people across this country that are actually dedicating themselves to being an open book in public. And that is difficult. When you are a politician, the good ones, let me say that. The good ones, they just trying to serve their communities, make their communities better. But your whole life is now an open book.
Stefanie Brown James: And everything you say or do is scrutinized, but these folks are still putting themselves out there. And so many of them are working towards making the lives of Black people better. So right now we're supporting two Black women that are running for the U.S. Senate. Cheri Beasley in North Carolina, Val Demings, our soror from Florida. Because we have, we have no Black women in the U.S. Senate. And so being able to help women like that with their campaigns and really work for them to win is the best part of my job.
Kenrya: Word. So we want to take it back a little bit and ask you, what was the prevailing attitude about sex in your home growing up?
Stefanie Brown James: There was none. I don't know if there was sex going on, but we didn't talk about it.
Erica: There was because they been together for 52 years, so right.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes.
Kenrya: They have at least two times.
Stefanie Brown James: At least two times. Me and Marci, my older sister. We here, so two times they had amazing sex to get us here. I will say however that when I was probably... This was after a lesson at Karamu. I think I may have been eight or nine years old. My mother is going to be mortified. But after every lesson we will go to McDonald's, which was a treat. Okay. The McDonald's had a little thing in the inside, the playground in the inside. We would go there. And one day I said, "Mom, I know what you and dad are talking about when you say, ‘Hey, you're ready to go to work tonight? Yeah, I'm ready to get plumbing.’"
Stefanie Brown James: Or whatever. It was just, they would talk in code. I remember being in the car like, "No, no plumbing tonight. No. Don't bake the cake. No. Don't have the dough rise." It was like, yo. And one day I just had a breakdown. "Mom, I can't take it anymore. Please stop talking about the dough rising. I know what you're talking about." And she was like... She was mortified. So that's the extent of convos in our house about sex. I'm glad I brought my wine.
Erica: But I feel like she's more open about it now as a mommy. Now that you're a mom. And yeah, and a wife.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah. Now she's like... Because I'm always like, "Mom, you're so amazing. It looked so easy." And she's like, "Baby, wasn't nothing easy. But now that you're a mom and you're a wife, let me tell you the real deal." My sister Marci is 10 years older, so she's almost like another mother to me. We've been able just to have really honest conversations about how you keep it sexy. She's like, I think 25 years into her marriage, so yeah. Ain't that crazy?
Kenrya: Yeah. Yep. I mean, I remember when she was still in undergrad.
Stefanie Brown James: Exactly.
Erica: What's wild is to think that 25 years ago was only '96. Because to me 25 years ago is like '75, right?
Stefanie Brown James: That's what I'm saying.
Kenrya: Yeah. Thanks for reminding us that we're old.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Auntie Erica. We're the aunties. We're the aunties now.
Kenrya: We are, but that doesn't mean we're not fabulous.
Stefanie Brown James: Touché.
Kenrya: Look at y'all.
Stefanie Brown James: Touché. Cheers to that. I should have poured more wine in here, but anyways, yeah.
Erica: Yes. I should've had some wine.
Kenrya: I'm wondering how... It sounds like y'all went from acting like sex didn't exist to now, y'all have gotten to a point where you are comfortable and you have those conversations, but how do you think the way that you grew up and the non-conversations about sex impact the way that you move through the world now?
Stefanie Brown James: I think it made me very curious as a... One, it made me feel like it wasn't something that you just did. I don't know, I had a boyfriend in college, maybe some friends in college too, post-college, but... It always kind of felt like, "Ooh, this naughty." But it wasn't like you're supposed to explore yourself and learn and meet people and all this kind of stuff. And then post-college, it just kind of felt like I'm about to go all in. I'm about to figure out who am I sexually.
Stefanie Brown James: What is it all about. To now, it just feels like I'm settled in it. I'm settled in being this grown woman that's married, that has a healthy, not as healthy as my husband would like, sex life. It almost feels like my thought about sex has grown up with me. If that makes any sense. I felt like I was kind of where a lot of people are along the way and it's like, I've matured. And now my sex life has matured. So, that's kind of how I feel now.
Erica: Okay. So we asked you to come on his show because last week we read the story called “Being Hospitable.” And it features this wo-
Stefanie Brown James: That's a good title.
Erica: It features this woman who lets her homeboy's little sister stay with her and then they end up hooking up and things happen. So we happen to know that you met your husband through similar circumstances.
Stefanie Brown James: I was being hospitable.
Kenrya: Yeah you were.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah.
Erica: Opening up the doors to your home.
Stefanie Brown James: Opening up everything. Okay, sorry, continue.
Erica: So, just tell us your story. How did it happen?
Stefanie Brown James: Okay, let's see here.
Kenrya: Not you fanning yourself.
Stefanie Brown James: Whew, it got hot. So it’s funny because my husband Quentin... We're seven years apart, first of all. And so when we first met, we met through NAACP at a youth conference because at the time, I'm sorry, I was the youth and college division director for NAACP. I go to this conference, meet this young man. And he's like, "Hey, I'm Quentin, dah, dah, dah. I'm a senior." Now I'm thinking he's a senior in college, which to me, I'm like, okay, senior in college. You're like, what 20 something? I'm 25.
Stefanie Brown James: I didn't actually look at him like holler or anything, we just like, "Oh okay, he seem cool." Y'all, he was a senior in high school. Then I was like, "oh eff", this is ridiculous. So long story short, he became years late... Years go by. A couple of years, he became my little brother over time. And then one summer, the summer of 2008, he was going to be my intern at the NAACP because he had been a youth leader and he was going to be my intern for the summer. Well, he didn't have housing for his internship. We were in Baltimore, he's from South Carolina.
Stefanie Brown James: So I was being hospitable and I said, "Well, why don't you stay with me for the summer, because my little cousin is also an intern and she's going to stay with me too?" And I could hook him up, is what I thought. Lo and behold, I done hooked myself up with him. And... So we had a fun summer and I was his boss. So that was another element to it. And now we're married with two kids.
Erica: So, happily ever after.
Erica: Looking back, is there anything you'd do differently?
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah, I wouldn't also try to hook him up with my linesister. She will remain nameless because again, she didn't give consent. But one night I tried to hook him up with a linesister and now—look at y'all! And we're at her apartment.
Kenrya: You have to tell us after.
Erica: You going to tell us as soon as we hang up.
Stefanie Brown James: So we went out one night because at that point we all cool with Quentin. So we go out one night. Are you writing notes to yourself Erica?
Kenrya: On her hand.
Erica: Because I'll forget about it and be editing this episode and then having to call you in the middle of the night.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah. Touché.
Erica: Soon as we stop recording.
Stefanie Brown James: We're out. Meals, drinks, everything. And, I'm trying to literally hook them up. We go back to her apartment because we lived in Baltimore. We were in DC and we were all too done to drive. Me and Quentin were too done to drive back to Baltimore. So we stayed in her apartment. Well, I was sleeping on the floor and Quentin was sleeping in the bed with her. So as I was sleeping on the cold floor and they're in that bed, I realized, "Wait a minute, I should be in the bed with him."
Stefanie Brown James: No, they weren't doing anything. Of course, because, well, you never know they could have been, but I was sleeping right there on the floor. And that's when I was like, "Oh my gosh, I have feelings for him." And I should not have tried to hook him up with my girl because yeah, I wanted to be with him. So, here we are. And she's happily married to a wonderful man.
Kenrya: Yes. That is definitely a thing to have done differently.
Stefanie Brown James: Whew boy.
Erica: Wow. Wow. This became a whole alternate reality.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes.
Erica: What if and then, so yeah. Okay.
Stefanie Brown James: That reality would not have worked out.
Erica: At all.
Stefanie Brown James: At all. Yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. So in the book that we read, the main character was concerned about starting a relationship for a couple of reasons. One of them was that it was her homeboy's little sister, but the other was that the chick was much younger. The thing is that we know that you have always liked them a bit on the younger side.
Erica: You tend to date younger men. Let's say that.
Stefanie Brown James: Uh-huh (affirmative).
Kenrya: I mean, I'm thinking back to when we were in jazz band and we went back to the-
Stefanie Brown James: Little Austin. Little Austin.
Erica: Hey, can we, statute of limitations.
Stefanie Brown James: Austin was cute. I know exactly who you talking about.
Kenrya: She always liked them young. Austin was cute.
Stefanie Brown James: And he was only a year younger than us. Sorry.
Kenrya: That's true. Okay, we'll leave it there.
Stefanie Brown James: Uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative).
Kenrya: But the question is, what is it that you love about younger men?
Stefanie Brown James: Now or then? Okay. Let's see.
Stefanie Brown James: As my husband is now 33 years old, isn't that something. To have known him from 18 years old. So it's been interesting growing with somebody, but I'm a playful person. I like to have a good time and I don't know. I just think they cute. I mean, it does probably not, not now. Now I don't really like younger guys now. But at the time I just liked to have fun. There's some people who like older men. That's not my thing.
Kenrya: Sure is.
Stefanie Brown James: That's not my jam. I just... No. Because I just feel like that's just too... Mm-mm (negative). I don't... Mm-mm (negative). No. And I'm real close to my dad, so I don't know if I feel like my dad is looking over my shoulder. Like, "Hey, that's my homeboy." I don't know. Mm-mm (negative). Yeah. Anyways.
Kenrya: I'm not offended.
Stefanie Brown James: That was not a good answer, but that's what came top of mind.
Erica: I feel attacked.
Stefanie Brown James: Nobody said your name.
Erica: It is well documented on the show. I like them old.
Kenrya: It's true.
Stefanie Brown James: Touché.
Kenrya: They know. I mean, there's nothing wrong with either way. We don't yuck yums. I always say the thing that made me lower my age on a dating app, which is how I ended up connecting with my partner is you. You and two or three of our other friends found love with younger men. I was like, “Well shit, they happy.”
Stefanie Brown James: That is true.
Kenrya: “Let me try.”
Stefanie Brown James: That is true. I feel like my whole crew... Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah.
Erica: So here's the thing, I've lowered my age on the dating app and every time I get a 36 year old I'm just like-
Stefanie Brown James: Does that seem young to you? 36?
Erica: I'd eat you alive. Oh my God. 36 seems like a baby.
Stefanie Brown James: My husband ain't even 36.
Erica: But also let's be real, your husband and our other friend that's married to a young guy, y'all have old men.
Stefanie Brown James: They got old souls. They got old souls.
Kenrya: They're mature. Yeah.
Erica: Yeah, they have old souls. That's the best way to put it. Because they're very young and youthful, but they have old souls. They like, "We're comfortable settling down and getting married and starting a family and [inaudible 00:20:44]."
Stefanie Brown James: However, I will say...
Erica: But I see... Yeah. I mean...
Stefanie Brown James: Just now though, has the age started to feel like a thing. Before it has not. When I turned 40, he turned 33. It felt like, “Oh, we in two different generations, bruh.” It has now started to... I started to now realize after almost 10 years of marriage, "Oh we are really, we have a big age gap." Because he be wearing these little chains and the music and I'd just be like, "Ooh, too loud. Too loud. Ooh, I'm sleepy."
Stefanie Brown James: And so, back to the sex. He's like, "It's time to have sex." I'm like, who? When? Where? Help me put these babies down. You've got to be kidding me. So I'm trying to work on it ladies. But I hear y'all. I hear y'all in my head. And just to that point, y'all are such inspirations to me. My linesisters are out here getting it in every night.
Kenrya: Girl, ain't nothing happening every night.
Stefanie Brown James: Okay, every week.
Erica: Also, let's be clear.
Erica: I like old men because it is more about quality than quantity. Old men, we just do one good time. We lay in the bed like, "Whew!" It's not a back to back. It's none of that. So, yeah.
Kenrya: That's real.
Erica: I use that age to my advantage.
Kenrya: And that's real. For me, this is the most fun relationship I've ever had. So when you were saying that wanting to have fun, that really resonates with me because it's true. I ain't never had somebody who was just fun as hell all the time.
Stefanie Brown James: That's good.
Kenrya: And maybe there's some youth there. But he also likes to remind me that I'm older than him. I be like, "You don't know that song from the ’80s?" And he'd be like, "No nigga, I wasn't born yet." I'm like, "Fuck you."
Stefanie Brown James: Wait, how old is he?
Kenrya: He's 36. He be acting like we way, way far apart. I'm like, “It's four years. Relax.”
Stefanie Brown James: See, here's the problem, is when you be like, "Okay, when you were a freshman, I was a senior." Now see when you say stuff like that...
Kenrya: And that's...
Stefanie Brown James: My husband will be like, "Man, I was in the eighth grade." And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I was graduating from high school." That's disgusting.
Stefanie Brown James: Anyways.
Kenrya: And that's the thing that pops up for us because we'll be listening to some song and I'll be like, "Yeah, this came out my senior year and he'd be like, "I was in middle school."
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. So, there's that. There's that. Yeah. So another thing that came up with the book, and this isn't your life. But as I was saying earlier, part of the reason that she was hesitant to move forward is because it was her homeboy's little sister. I'm wondering, if Quentin was your friend’s sibling, how might you have handled the situation differently, if at all?
Stefanie Brown James: Is this a close friend?
Kenrya: Maybe you would still be like, “Fuck it.”
Stefanie Brown James: Or an acquaintance?
Stefanie Brown James: Close friend?
Kenrya: It's a close friend. Somebody that's close enough to be like, “My little brother is going to be in town-“
Stefanie Brown James: I wouldn't have gone there.
Kenrya: “For an internship and he needs to stay with you.”
Stefanie Brown James: To me that's off limits.
Kenrya: She was in town for an internship.
Stefanie Brown James: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Nope.
Stefanie Brown James: I would look at them like that's my little sister. That's my little brother. I couldn't go there. Mm-mm (negative).
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Stefanie Brown James: Which, speaking of, sorry. Can I say something real fast?
Erica: Oh. Mm-mm (negative). No.
Erica: Because I didn't want to throw you out there but you about to say what I'm thinking.
Stefanie Brown James: I don't know if this is what you thinking but...
Kenrya: This is hard when you know all of somebody business.
Stefanie Brown James: Oh, man.
Erica: Uh-huh (affirmative).
Stefanie Brown James: [crosstalk 00:24:37] Actually we have a couple of close friends whose... Okay.
Erica: Uh-huh (affirmative), yep, yep.
Stefanie Brown James: So there's a one that you're thinking of. The other one I'm thinking of who has a new show on TV. I was looking at him like...
Erica: Girl. Baby.
Kenrya: Oh. Oh. I been watching. It's so good.
Stefanie Brown James: I been watching too. Me and my mom.
Erica: Girl, I actually...
Stefanie Brown James: My mom called me like-
Kenrya: He's like a grown man. I was like, “You were a baby.”
Stefanie Brown James: He has grown up. So in that situation to have... And I think if I was single and I met him now, the brother may have to go on a date. I mean, this is different. It's a little different.
Kenrya: Yes. And not the same as him being in your care.
Stefanie Brown James: There you go. That's what it is. That's the difference.
Kenrya: Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Whew! Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative). We do have a few friends who have brothers and I'm like, “Only out of respect for you will I not. You know what, not even out of respect for you, it's because we're so close. I know your mothers.”
Stefanie Brown James: That's what it is.
Erica: I don't want to...
Stefanie Brown James: That's what it is.
Erica: I don't want to mess it up with your mother because you my homegirl, you know me. We going to act a fool. I don't want to disappoint their mom.
Stefanie Brown James: Very true.
Erica: So, you know. Okay, so speaking to that, how do you feel about the way older women are portrayed? The older women, younger man relationship.
Stefanie Brown James: I wish it was more common and just in a regular way. Not in a, "Ooh cougar." [crosstalk 00:26:27].
Kenrya: I mean, it's a whole ass show about that shit.
Stefanie Brown James: No, I'm just a woman with a man or another woman, or... I'm just, I'm doing me. I think it's overblown. And in the way that it's more embraced with older men, younger women. I wish it was the same. But I think that...
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Stefanie Brown James: I do think it's becoming more normalized, but I would like to also see that storyline explored in more detail in the media. That would be a good show actually.
Stefanie Brown James: I would watch that.
Kenrya: Especially with Black people. So what are you reading right now?
Stefanie Brown James: So I know that I should be reading books, but I am really into magazines.
Kenrya: You can read whatever the fuck-
Stefanie Brown James: I love magazines because I feel like right now I am loving Vanity Fair because they are tackling a lot of political stories that you wouldn't normally see in mainstream media outlets. I love Success Magazine. I've always did. That's my number one go-to. Listen, I love Bossip still or YBF. I love a good gossip site, so that's what I'm reading.
Erica: Okay. I'm sorry. Know my brother just showed up. He's crawling on the floor.
Kenrya: To stay out of the shot.
Stefanie Brown James: That's dedication.
Erica: It's to not be in this shot. So...
Stefanie Brown James: Thanks brother.
Erica: Okay, so what's turning you on-
Stefanie Brown James: What's turning me on, this hair. Do you see this? I got my hair done today.
Kenrya: Yes. Yes.
Stefanie Brown James: I have decided that I'm going to get my hair done every week because it makes me feel beautiful and sexy. So I am turning me on, and my new renewed confidence and love for myself and just how I am and who I am striving to be. That is really turning me on.
Erica: Ooh, yes 40. Yas! I love it. Okay. So we're going to play this game that I made up called, Overstayed Its Welcome.
Stefanie Brown James: I love it already.
Erica: So I'm going to throw out a category and you're going to tell me what you believe overstayed its welcome.
Stefanie Brown James: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: In this category. Okay. So first category: person.
Stefanie Brown James: Wait, a person who overstayed their welcome?
Erica: Uh-huh (affirmative). Just in the world, in your life, wherever.
Stefanie Brown James: The Kardashians. I don't know. That came top of mind.
Stefanie Brown James: Okay.
Erica: And that's what we need. Okay, Kenrya, what about you?
Kenrya: Oh, Republicans.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes.
Kenrya: Fuck them.
Kenrya: Wait, you E!
Erica: White men.
Kenrya: Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Erica: Okay. Men's clothing trend.
Stefanie Brown James: That I don't like, is them little pants. Them little short culottes that Lebron James and...
Erica: Before they got the ankles and the socks and stuff.
Erica: Okay, Kenrya, what about you?
Kenrya: The same. I was going to say sagging pants in general but it's worse when they're really little. Because I'm like that don't even look like it could come up over your little booty. I don't like it. And I am an ass and thigh woman. I like some nice muscular whatever, but it's never that. You never see that. You know what I'm saying? It's always them little pipe cleaner situations. No, thank you. Yeah.
Erica: Yeah. Okay. For me men's trends that overstayed its welcome. I have to say those shirts that they used to wear in the 2000s with the glitter and stuff on them [inaudible 00:30:59].
Kenrya: Do people still wear those?
Erica: No, but when they were wearing it, that shit should've been gone. It overstayed its welcome.
Kenrya: Just by existing.
Erica: And as people that have connections to Baltimore, I know y'all saw that shit all the time on the streets of Baltimore.
Kenrya: There were times when I saw them in my own home.
Stefanie Brown James: That too, yeah.
Stefanie Brown James: Facts.
Stefanie Brown James: Facts.
Erica: Uh-huh (affirmative). Yep. Same. Same. Yep. Same. Same. Same, same, same. Okay. Women's clothing trend.
Stefanie Brown James: Oh, I shouldn't say this. Please...
Erica: I'll go first. Little ass eyebrows. Thin ass eyebrows. I'm so happy my eyebrows survived.
Stefanie Brown James: That's a wrap. I think that's a wrap. Okay, Kenrya. No, you go on. Kenrya, you go on ahead.
Kenrya: I don't know. I guess. I mean, I guess I'm old. Any kind of shoes that I can't fucking really walk in.
Stefanie Brown James: Yes.
Kenrya: I just...
Stefanie Brown James: Yes.
Kenrya: I'm over it.
Stefanie Brown James: Agreed.
Kenrya: It's not something I'm ever interested in doing. And I bought myself... It's funny, I was redoing my intention board for the new moon, and one of the things I wrote last year was “Buy the shoes.” And there were these shoes that I had been lusting after. I treated myself.
Erica: Them shits are as useful as a fucking door stop.
Kenrya: I have worn them three times. I had to be helped up some stairs the last time I wore them. I was like, I will never wear these shoes... They are gorgeous. They are sex on a shoe.
Stefanie Brown James: Ooh, take a picture and send it. I want to see it.
Kenrya: And I will wear them for a picture. Yes. For standing and being beautiful. Yes. Even better. But I can't walk in them shits no more. And every time I see somebody walking in the shoes, I'm like, "Oh, that's so nice for you."
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah.
Kenrya: But also why are you doing that to yourself?
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah. Mm-mm (negative). I'm with that.
Stefanie Brown James: I want to see a picture of those shoes though.
Kenrya: But I love that people can do it and are fine. I'll send you one. And matter fact, I got one.
Stefanie Brown James: Wait, I didn't get mine. Real fast.
Erica: What about you, Stefanie?
Stefanie Brown James: Bad weave. Slash wigs. I'm just over it. If it start here and this ain't blending into here, I can't. You're not...
Erica: You know, here's the thing, to me it's unfortunate because it's like, I'm positive that whatever is growing out of your head, if you were comfortable with that, it's probably a lot better than...
Stefanie Brown James: Look, beautiful head wraps. Head wraps are gorgeous. Girl, just put on a head wrap on. Wear it high. We ain't that [inaudible 00:33:59]. Mm-mm (negative).
Erica: Yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: I don't mind it. I mean, I don't like it when it's bad. We were watching House Hunters the other day and it looked like she had just went like this.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. I be feeling bad like, "Aw, that's not good. I'm sorry that your day is not today." Yeah.
Erica: Okay, last one. Word. What word overstayed its welcome?
Stefanie Brown James: Dab. Dab.
Kenrya: Oh, my.
Stefanie Brown James: A word and an action. Overstayed its welcome.
Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, I was going to say anything that white people picked up because they just ruin shit. But also, yeet, which I had to ban from these children. These two children in this fucking house. Every time I would walk them to school. [crosstalk 00:35:09] I had to... Yeet.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeet. What does that mean?
Kenrya: Yes. It's an exclamation. You can say, I yeeted over there. Like you threw something at somebody. Like yeet. These children in this house like to use it.
Erica: It has a million uses.
Kenrya: And I had to ban them from using it when they are around me, because I am not interested in hearing that shit ever again in my whole ass life.
Stefanie Brown James: I have never heard it before.
Kenrya: Yeet. Good.
Erica: Wait until your boys get on TikTok.
Kenrya: It's not great.
Stefanie Brown James: What's a sheesh? What is that?
Erica: I do that. Sheesh. I don't know. It's something about some guy and he was like, I got ice in my veins because I'm so cold. I'm good at this. He like, "Sheesh." I don't understand it. I don't get it. Someone is probably cringing.
Kenrya: I like how your son keeps saying I'm made different. I'm built different. Whatever the fuck he kept saying the other day. Lord.
Stefanie Brown James: Yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. Yes.
Erica: That's his thing.
Kenrya: All of it. I don't like any of it, but overall, anything that white people have decided that they want to pick up and run into the fucking ground, which is the category that woke falls into.
Stefanie Brown James: Oh, that's number one. That's true. I'm tired of it.
Stefanie Brown James: I could say something else related to that, but that would not be good.
Kenrya: They use shit to the point where it doesn't have any meaning. Oh, boy. Okay.
Erica: When we hang up. Okay.
Kenrya: Say it! No, all she was going to say is what's next for you?
Stefanie Brown James: What's next for me? Hopefully writing a TV show. No, I don't know. What's next for me? What's next for me is, I'm really excited to... Yeah, listen, we need to elect two Black women into the Senate. I know we're going to do it. We have at least five Black people total that's going to be running for the U.S. Senate that can actually win. I'm excited for that. I'm excited to celebrate The Collective's five-year anniversary.
Stefanie Brown James: And I'm excited to have both of my children in school, praise the Lord. Have them out the house. And most off, you know what, I am excited to explore more of who I am as this 40 year old woman that is embracing all of me. Because I have neglected myself since my almost six-year-old came on the scene. So it is Stefanie time. So I am most excited about really enveloping who I am as this grown woman and doing me. That's what I'm excited about.
Stefanie Brown James: And hopefully going on trips with y'all. We just got to go somewhere.
Erica: Yeah, we got to do that.
Kenrya: I know. I know. Well, y'all can be jealous, but if y'all would like to see us on these trips, you can follow Stefanie on both Twitter and IG. She's at, @stefbrownjames, which is S-T-E-F-B-R-O-W-N-J-A-M-E-S. Or you can go to collectivepac.org to find out more about her work and to support her work because it is up to all of us to help put Black candidates into power. Thank you for coming on Stefanie.
Stefanie Brown James: Thank you for having me. Anytime.
Kenrya: This was fun.
Stefanie Brown James: Super fun. Thank y'all.
Kenrya: Yeah. Yay.
Stefanie Brown James: Thank you.
Kenrya: And that is it for this week's episode of the show. Thank y'all for listening and we'll be back next week. Take care.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now in your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast, so you'll never miss an episode.
Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. And you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.
Kenrya: And don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.
Erica: And you can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch, or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.
Kenrya: Thanks for listening. And we'll see you soon. Holla.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.