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This week, Erica and Kenrya ask each other a bunch of hella personal questions—the words "gooch," "trap lord with a big booty" and "so fuckin' joyful" were all uttered—and share the answers with y'all.
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Kenrya: Come here, get off.
Erica: Hey y'all. Kenrya presses record, and even as she presses record, it surprises her that she presses record. It's like she pressed record and then was surprised that she got caught drinking water from a water bottle. Anyway. Hey, y'all-
Kenrya: That's exactly what happened.
Erica: ... we're back today and we don't want to leave y’all with a dry gooch, right?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: We want to quench your gooches. Just like kenrya quenched her thirst. Can we just quench your thirst in the middle of our break? So, we are going to do a little thing. I know, y’all like just listening to us ask stupid ass questions and things. So we're going to ask each other a few questions just to see where we are in these things. So-
Kenrya: Let's get it.
Erica: Let's start.
Erica: Killa, if you had to call me by another name, what would it be and why? And you can't say bitch.
Kenrya: Well first of all... Right. I'm like, I don't even actually call you Erica. It actually sounds weird.
Erica: It even sounds weird hearing you say Erica.
Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, I mostly call you E or EE or bitch or nigga, and Munch-
Kenrya: ... that's it. Those are the things, Auntie Munch. Those are the things that I call you. So those.
Kenrya: Yeah. What about you? You don't call me Kenrya.
Erica: I know, I call you Killa, right?
Kenrya: Yeah. I think you called me Killa when you asked the question.
Erica: I don't even call you Kenrya. Actually, I noticed when I listened to playback, I don't even say your name, right. So-
Kenrya: What you mean?
Kenrya: What's wrong with that?
Erica: Oh okay-
Kenrya: So that's how my family says it; my family calls me “Kerya.” There's no N. And when I-
Kenrya: ... yeah, when I talk to myself, I call myself “Kerya.” We country.
Erica: Okay so-
Kenrya: When I'm introducing myself, I say “Kenrya,” but yeah, you say my name the way I say my name to myself.
Erica: Okay, well, that's a [inaudible 00:02:36].
Erica: Yeah. I've noticed that I don't even like... It's weird hearing my name said. We were someplace and oh, this morning I went to see our friend and I showed up and her daughters call me the Easter Bunny. And... I'm sorry.
Kenrya: You got to turn off them notifications, bitch.
Erica: I'm using my other laptop and I thought I can get past it, but then like, oh my God, they keep talking. Do not disturb. Okay, sorry y’all. And then her husband walked in and was like Auntie Erica is here. And I was like, who? Only one person calls me, Auntie Erica.
Erica: I know it's him calling me because it's Auntie Erica.
Kenrya: And when I hear you say, Auntie Erica, I hear it in his voice.
Kenrya: Because he is the only one that calls you that.
Erica: The only one, right? Yeah. So yeah. Okay. Up next. What's the wisest thing I taught you?
Kenrya: What a great question. Okay, disclaimer y’all. I'm about to say, she picked all these cards. So I know she came up with her answers as she was picking cards.
Erica: No, I didn't. I mean, I thought that would be good, but now I'm thinking.
Erica: Okay, So the one... Not the wisest. So it's not necessarily, like I said, there was this one thing you said, there probably was, but I think that you've taught me that it is okay to be myself. It is okay to have my ups and downs and want to do this one minute and not the next. And I don't have to explain shit to people. And I think that's part of why you're my best friend. Because even when I'm like, “Oh no,” you're like, “Bitch you an adult, do it.” And so I love you for that.
Kenrya: Oh, it's interesting. Because I think the first thing that came to mind for me, it's pretty similar. You taught me the importance of just being myself all the time. You are yourself, all the time, and I fuckin’ love it.
Kenrya: Yeah. And I think there have been times when I was younger, where I was either told explicitly or it was implied that the self that I was, was not good enough, or was too strong, or, all of the bullshit things that people tell you.
Erica: Or too soft.
Kenrya: Yeah, exactly. And you showed me that none of that is true; that you've loved me through all of those different iterations of myself, and still do when I'm very, very fully living in the person who I am now. So thanks bitch.
Erica: Girl, sometimes to my detriment, I be like, “Bitch, I needed that $1,000.” No, I have not been borrowing money from Kenrya. Just so y’all know. Okay, how would you describe me to others?
Erica: Wait, let me write this down. Because I need it for my dating... Oh fuck.
Kenrya: I wrote your old dating profile.
Erica: You sure did, you sure did. You wrote the, 'I'm trying to fuck" dating profile and it was really good.
Kenrya: I did.
Erica: And then your partner helped me with a-
Kenrya: Helped you write a new one, right?
Kenrya: Oh, what did he say? Okay.
Erica: Trap lord with a big booty.
Kenrya: All right. So E is, I'm trying to write the whole thing.
Kenrya: Because, okay, let me-
Erica: Mine is not going to be beautiful, but I'll continue.
Kenrya: No, because I'm not going to be good at it. Okay. So I would say that, obviously, you're very funny. Obviously you are... We have some friends that we say are everybody's friends.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: But I think you underestimate the fact that you too are everybody's friend; you are so nice.
Erica: No, I'm not. I'm a fuckin trap-
Kenrya: Yes, you are.
Erica: ... lord.
Kenrya: No, you not.
Erica: I'm a fuckin trap lord. I be beating these bitches on the forehead.
Kenrya: And that's a big part of what I would say if I was trying to blow up your spot, which is that you think. You talk real big about being real hard and whatever, but you are really and truly very mushy inside. Yeah. And you need hugs more often than you're willing to admit.
Erica: I let this guy-
Erica: Oh sorry, keep going.
Kenrya: And you are really thoughtful. And even when you are going through shit, you make space for other people's feelings and vulnerabilities and their needs. Even when you in the midst of going through shit. And you know, I'm in the midst of going through shit; you always call me and you ask how I'm doing and check in on me. And even if you're then about to go through all the shit that you're going through, it's always reciprocal. I have had people close to me who have been really terrible dumpers. And that's just not you. And even when you need to dump, you ask me if you can first, which I love.
Erica: Shout out to therapy. Exactly.
Kenrya: You are also really, you don't get defensive. So if you ask people for feedback or ask people for help. You actually listen and take in what folks are saying and don't get butt hurt about it. Which I think is a thing that most people can't actually say. And because of that and other things, and just your eagerness and your drive to always be moving forward, it means that your growth is fuckin exponential out here and I'm really proud of you.
Erica: Thanks girl.
Erica: Okay. How-
Kenrya: Wait, you were about to tell this story. Wait, about somebody.
Erica: So as I'm dating, right?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: I'm meeting different guys. And I really enjoy being huggy and touchy, feely. It has blown my mind. I have a friend and literally every time we see each other, I go to his house. He comes to my house. We do our thing. I mean, not like, I mean, we do, do our thing. But every time we see each other, I'm like, you sit there. I sit here. I'm like, hold my hand, rub my feet. And it's just... Yeah, I'm learning to embrace the softness. Okay, so, let me describe my best friend to you.
Kenrya: Oh, wait, I forgot something.
Kenrya: Y’all, she got a big booty.
Erica: I do, and it's big. I would show y’all right now, but I got on something and my booty is literally out. Okay. I'm sitting on a blanket in my office.
Erica: So Killa, my best friend, first I will say that you're steady. You're solid. You rule, you have an iron fist, but it's a velvet glove. And so it's strength, yet softness. And I love that, because you're able to hold your boundaries without making it a whole big thing. You're just like, “No.” And for some reason, your calmness puts everyone else in a trance and they're like, “Okay, we ain't doing it.” And I love that. And seeing you has inspired me to do the same. So I love that about you. You're smart as fuck. I don't even want to say smart. You are brilliant.
Erica: You are brilliant. I stay bragging on you. I stay talking about your books. Do you know I brag about you so fuckin much. I give your books as gifts to niggas, because I'm like, you need this in your life. You are fucking amazing. You are just fucking brilliant. Also. I like your candor and your ability to be open in your growth, through your growth. I mean, I was listening back to our, this is your sex life. And your willingness to be like, this was wrong. I did it wrong, but I've learned. And let me show you how I've learned. It's beautiful. Also, you made a little person that I fucking adore. It's wild because she's my best friend, too.
Kenrya: I know.
Erica: And I don't even know if she knows it or cares, but no girl that she's hanging out with on Friday, this is my best friend.
Kenrya: It's true.
Erica: And you are welcoming, and non-judgmental. I have a friend that told me she likes being around people that make her feel free. And when she said that, I was like, “Oh my God, that's Kenrya.” I feel free when I am around you. And I love that. I feel like you make me a better person. You're like the little fertilizer to my growth.
Kenrya: That's really sweet. I'll be your fertilizer any day. Thanks, I love you.
Erica: I bet you do. Okay.
Kenrya: Which is what I do all the time. So-
Erica: Yeah, she has a good point.
Kenrya: ... that actually fits.
Erica: Okay. Poo Poo Queen. What fundamental moral value do you think we share in common?
Kenrya: What is a fundamental moral value? I mean, probably not yucking yums.
Erica: I was literally about to say that.
Erica: I was literally about to say that, we don't yuck yums, as long as you are not hurting somebody else, have fun at it.
Kenrya: Yeah. We very genuinely are okay.
Erica: Oh, that makes me so happy, because I was literally thinking the same thing. What is one thing you never want me to forget?
Kenrya: God. Well, I never want you to forget that I love you, but I also don't want you to forget how much you're worth and how much you deserve. I know I’ve forgotten it at certain points, and you have forgotten it at certain points too. And my hope is that we are at a point in our old lives where we never end up in that space again. And where you always know, and I know that you do because you just did some shit where, nigga, if we hadn't been walking, I would've figured out how to give you a standing ovation. Because I'm just so proud of you for choosing yourself. Yeah. In ways, big and small, always remembering that and moving through the world accordingly. Yeah. That's what I hope you don't forget.
Erica: I was going to say that in a different way. I was going to say, don't forget you, that bitch, you that bitch, you've been that bitch. You're still that bitch; you're going to be that bitch. So, same way different a... Second verse, same as the first. Also, I don't want you--and I can't even pinpoint it, but I feel like there have been points between just the two of us where we have laughed until our stomach hurts till we can't stand. And I don't want us to forget that just because it's beautiful, that's us. So.
Kenrya: We laugh a lot.
Erica: What's in our relationship are you most grateful for? These are questions from a relationship pack, because y’all are like, oh, they real special. But anyway, what in our relationship are you most grateful for?
Kenrya: I'm just most grateful that you're here. Yeah. I'm just most grateful that you're here. Like
Erica: A bitch is not dead.
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.
Erica: Oh, you know what? That's also something I forgot to say about how I would describe you. You're a hard-ass worker, in a very good way. I say this all the time, but I don't think y’all realize listeners, how fucking, janky and bootleg this podcast will be if it weren't for Kenrya. That is all. Okay. In our friendship. I am grateful for our growth. I'm grateful for the fact that, we were some little dumb ass thots-
Kenrya: We were.
Erica: ... running the streets, and then we've grown together, and we've grown, and we've both continued to grow, but haven't outgrown one another.
Erica: So I guess it is like, bitch, we're still here.
Kenrya: We still together. Yeah.
Erica: And we still together.
Kenrya: Exactly, because I think people take for granted that friendships, that folks with friends overall walk on parallel paths. But we see it happening in romantic relationships all the time where that doesn't happen. A lot of people, I think in different phases in their lives have different people that they're close to. But shit, we've been best friends since we pledged, we graduated, we've lived in different cities. We got married, we got kids, we got divorced. We've been through health shit, all of that. And we still here.
Erica: And we still here.
Erica: I used to have a cactus in my office and that motherfucker went through everything, that's the Killa and Erica show, Killa and E show. Okay. I'm going to answer this first.
Erica: When you close your eyes and think of me, what do you see? When I close my eyes and think of you. I see big hair, and that color blue, your color blue, some bright lipstick.
Kenrya: Yes. So I actually, right now, when I see. There's this picture, I don't know where we are, maybe Philly. And you are wearing this green dress, this is years ago.
Erica: I know this picture.
Kenrya: You got your hand up in the air and you're dancing and you just look so fuckin joyful. That's what I just saw.
Erica: And I had my [inaudible 00:19:43].
Kenrya: That was in our skinny years.
Erica: That is when we would go to…is American Apparel still open anyway?
Kenrya: I don't think so. But yes, you got that dress from American Apparel and you tried it on in two different sizes. And we went with the hoe fit.
Erica: Yeah. And till this day.
Kenrya: I remember the whole day.
Erica: That is why I need to figure out how to dress for this body, but I generally follow the same silhouette.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Sheath-close to the body.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: So yeah. Girl, I used to love me some American Apparel. We go and get us a little t-shirt dress, those meals. I want to be outside.
Kenrya: I just put one of those t-shirt dresses in the garbage, when I just did my closet because I can't give it away-
Erica: You did your what?
Kenrya: ... because it's been washed so many times. I'm not saying it again. You are not slick, hoe.
Erica: Your closet.
Kenrya: But I still had one from all those years, and now my ass so big I can't wear it without putting something on under.
Erica: Exactly. Yeah, it's just a long shirt. Yeah, it's just a long shirt. Oh, okay.
Kenrya: It's fine.
Erica: Last one.
Erica: Am I different than you imagined I would be when we first met? I'll go first because I feel like you've been going first and I stopped. I don't really have an answer to this.
Erica: When we first met. You know how you just never know. You don't even think about how life is going to play out. And the minute, I can see in my head, you and Stefanie showing up at my house, I mean, in my room with a fuckin TaeBo tape. And I did not imagine that, that would spur so much. You inspired me to quit my motherfucking job. You had that one moment. I didn't even think that far into it. I couldn't have thought 20 years into the future. Fuckin 20 years bitch, almost 20 years.
Kenrya: Yeah, holy shit.
Erica: Actually, it was 20 years.
Kenrya: Yeah, this fall. Right?
Erica: Bitch we coming on our 20 year anniversary, we got to do something to celebrate. But yeah-
Erica: I would've never in a million years thought, so it's not necessarily that I felt like, “She stank.” It was just, I thought she was going to be a homie, but I didn't think I'd have my family calling you, stressing you out when they can't reach me. That kind of shit.
Kenrya: Exactly. Yeah. That's interesting because I think that a lot of times people, when they first meet me, they think that I'm very reserved and sometimes they think-
Erica: Yeah, I knew that wasn't the case.
Kenrya: Yeah no.
Erica: Well, I knew you were quiet.
Kenrya: ... because I was quite comfortable from the beginning, but yeah. I think people mistake me being quiet around strangers for being reserved in a way that I am actually not.
Erica: Oh, because I got so many calls on when people listen to this podcast, like, “I didn't know Kenrya was like that.” I'm like, “Bitch, this is my bottom bitch. My bottom bitch is not like-“
Kenrya: How did they think we got along. If we-
Erica: Exactly, she's just whispering the ratchet shit.
Kenrya: Right. I got cousins who have been like, I'm mean, y'all don't know me. It's fine.
Kenrya: I've been away for 20 years. I just remember thinking, “Oh, she's so cute. And look at her little peanut head.”
Erica: You bitch, you still say that. Like-
Kenrya: I know, but no, I remember you were just like, we were literal strangers who somebody told us we should hang out and we did. And it was fun. And then we was friends.
Kenrya: But yeah, I would've never known that we would be so intertwined with each other in so many ways.
Erica: We can't even extricate our lives from each other at this point.
Erica: It's just impossible.
Kenrya: Right. I mean, and I'm really good at extricating my life from other people, but-
Erica: But, I'm like a parasite bitch. You can't get rid of me.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: Yeah. That's fuckin dope. This was a good idea E.
Erica: Thank you.
Kenrya: I like it.
Erica: Thank you for offering up the questions, well, providing me with a stack of questions to choose from. All right, y’all. Well, this wraps up this week's episode. Hopefully your gooch is wet and you're still holding on for season five. So holla back, hallelujah. Bye.
Kenrya: Oh my God.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy, hit subscribe right now. And your favorite podcast app and at Youtube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast. So you'll never miss an episode.
Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. And you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.
Kenrya: And don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.
Erica: And you can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch, or becoming a patron of the show; just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.
Kenrya: Thanks for listening and we'll see soon. Holla.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.