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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya answer a few questions from the mailbag.
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Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Erica: Okay, y'all. Welcome to this week's episode, we are going to do another Quickie because we can't keep banging you for hours upon end, we got to give you a short of something so we're going to do a mailbag episode. I'm very surprised and happy that we have so many listeners that are willing to write in and for some reason think that we have something good to tell them about their lives.
Kenrya: We have answers. Yeah, okay.
Erica: Okay, take this with a grain of salt. So take it over from here, Killa.
Kenrya: Right here's our first question, it says, "I made a COVID-related risk assessment and went and got my hair trimmed, but I can't justify bringing the Rona home to my baby to take care of my pubic hair. Therefore, it looks like 1970s over here. I'm trying to embrace what God gave me, but I really miss my Brazilian. Please help me find the sexy in my hirsute nether regions."
Erica: So here's the thing, I personally like a shorn puss. That's because I'm generally a furry person, when my hair started growing back the shit on the side of my cheek came in first.
Kenrya: It's like, "Oh yeah, great."
Erica: And yeah, I can take the COVID risk. I probably... Okay, I can take a calculated risk because I don't have a newborn at home, so I'm trying listener, that's what I would first say as I give this advice. But I mean, look, God put it there, it's there for a reason. I mean, not there for a reason-
Kenrya: Well actually it is, it's there to protect you.
Erica: But you know God put it there.
Kenrya: It does actually serve a purpose.
Erica: Yeah but you wear drawers too.
Kenrya: I don't, especially not now.
Erica: Well not like out, you ain't just walking around with a puss untethered in the world. Your puss has some sort of something over the top of it, be it some sweats or a Golden Girl caftan.
Kenrya: That was pointed.
Erica: That was pointed towards you. So I think you're just going to have to learn to, I mean I know this sounds stupid, but you're going to have to embrace the fact that this is your body, your body just like pushed out a whole human being. And if hair is one of those things that comes along with it, learn to love it, maybe you can do some at home trims and -
Kenrya: That's what I was going to say.
Erica: ... Don't shave it off, because your waxer is going to be pissed at you.
Kenrya: And also it's not, I mean, so I'll speak as someone who is not someone who has to be waxed or anything. I don't really, I've done it, I can probably count on maybe two hands how many times I've had either sugaring or wax done. It's not a thing for me.
Erica: Sugaring is brutal.
Kenrya: That was my introduction to hair removal and I screamed so loud that the chick threatened to stop. But also, I didn't know that you had to trim it to a quarter of an inch.
Erica: We're going to have to cut this shit off.
Kenrya: But so anyway, as someone who doesn't do all of that, I get ingrowns and so I can't do, I know some folks have resorted to shaving, we got some friends who have just resorted to shaving and I'm like, Girl, no, not me." Because I get ingrowns, which is why when I was getting sugared and wax, that was why I was doing it. But so for me, I have a little pair of haircutting scissors that are in my cabinet and I just trim it down, which can be dicey.
Erica: Yeah. I'd be afraid I'd cut my clit off.
Kenrya: Had it come close once. So what you probably should do, which is what I keep saying I'm going to do, is get a little trimmer with a guard so that I can literally trim things without having to worry about cutting things so that you can keep it manageable so it doesn't feel like the ’70s.
Kenrya: Without having to risk the whole going out. And so yeah, you got some hair there, you got some protection, your body is doing what it does, which is grow hair, but it's not necessarily causing you anxiety because you see it coming out the side of your panties, if you choose to wear panties.
Erica: Yeah and nothing's wrong with a little short Caesar.
Kenrya: I mean, literally this morning I got the shower and I was like, "Oh, it's time to cut you down a little bit," it's fine.
Erica: Just a smidge.
Kenrya: But also, my partner does not care two shits, which probably helps, but I have also never cared.
Erica: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if my partners, I know my... Okay, I'm was going to tell way too much business about my ex-husband, and we will keep that for another day. But yeah, so see if you can strike a happy medium with a cool little Caesar.
Kenrya: Also, if you need to see some images that make you think it's like, to see the sexiness in it, I'm sure there's lots of ’70s porn online.
Erica: Oh, they're not even ’70s porn, they are categories now.
Kenrya: You told on yourself.
Erica: Yeah, there are categories that's like hairy pussy.
Kenrya: Yeah and I'm sure it's just as hot as all the rest of the stuff. If you want to see somebody in especially sexy situation, who's got a full bush and shit, watch a little something.
Erica: I've learned that there's a fetish for everything. I don't want to say a fetish, a kink for everything. Although you may not appreciate it and it's not like you need other people to validate you, but sometimes it's helpful to know that you're not like a monster. There are people that really enjoy this and maybe I can find enjoyment in their appreciation for this.
Kenrya: Also you're not alone, because like we literally had a whole ass conversation with our whole group of friends about how everybody is coping without being able to go.
Erica: I know, I was like, "If anybody sees my phone right now, they going to think something's wrong."
Kenrya: I was quiet because I'm the one that's like, "Eh, I don't care." And I don't want to make it seem like I'm insensitive to the fact that this is a thing that is really bothering folks. Especially folks who are with a partner and where that is a part of their normal practice of what they do, or just folks who like to look down and see what they like to see. I completely understand but I think the fact that you're like, "Yeah, don't want to have the story be that I gave my baby to Rona because I had to go get my pussy waxed."
Erica: How'd you get the Rona? Well, it all started when my momma just had to have her shit shorn.
Kenrya: Yeah, so I feel you. I think it sounds like you're making a good, healthy choice and I hope that you can get to a place where you feel okay with looking down and seeing bush, but also-
Erica: That bush.
Kenrya: ... Cut that shit down a little bit. Get you a Target order with some good old haircutting scissors or a clipper and get to going.
Kenrya: Cool, All right.
Erica: Okay. What's the next question, Killa?
Kenrya: So funny enough, our next question actually feeds directly into this, and it's simply says, "Do all men like a bald vagina look?" Yeah-
Erica: No, I don't think.
Kenrya: ... That's definitely not been my experience.
Erica: Yeah, I've learned that some men definitely do have a preference, but last time I checked this was my pussy on my body, so I do what the fuck I want to. But I do know that guys have, some guys have a preference. Most guys that I've been with, it's like, "Look bitch just commit, the stubble hurts so if we are going to rock it out with our, you know, if we're going to do it, let's commit to one or the other." Which, again-
Kenrya: That makes sense.
Erica: ... That I can kind of understand a little bit but I have run across all shapes and sizes and they all, they like... I look at it like this, you just happy to be getting some pussy. You can't be-
Kenrya: Dictating what the fuck I look like.
Erica: This ain't Burger King, like no, we have it Erica's way, not your way.
Kenrya: Also, the only time I've ever had, first of all, I've never had a man say, "Oh, I need you to do whatever. Or I want you to do whatever." The only time I've actually ever had a man comment on the length was because they were going down on me, and were like, had to go through the hair. And so as a courtesy I would trim down to make it a little easier for them to do they job.
Kenrya: But that's strictly as a courtesy because it ain't bothering me.
Erica: Yeah. Girl again, they happy to be around it. Be like, "You know what? If you like a waxed pussy, you wax your pussy."
Kenrya: Or go find you a waxed pussy bitch.
Erica: I've learned you ain't got one to wax, so you can't dictate this pussy.
Kenrya: Yeah, pretty much.
Erica: Okay. Well the summation of that one is fuck these niggas. Next question Killa.
Kenrya: Okay. All right. "I have a friend who was in a situationship. The guy doesn't want to call it a relationship." Okay. "But any who, they ended up quarantining for five months, but he wanted his space. So she had to move out of his place and move in with a friend." Okay. "He asked her to come over and spend the night, after less than a week of her moving out, she spent the night and attempted to have sex with him but he declined and said that he only wanted head. Why is that? Especially since they've been fucking for over a year and especially when they were quarantined together, what the hell is that about?" No, that's not her, that ain't even her situationship, not really.
Erica: Yeah. I mean, I just think he is fucked up but he don't want you.
Erica: And it's fucked. I mean, I don't want to be rude about it but he has shown that he's not even willing to inconvenience himself to make you happy. So why are you going to do it?
Kenrya: Clearly he is trying to dictate all the terms of the situation, right?
Kenrya: Five months and now she got to go.
Erica: Now you got to move out and go stay with somebody else.
Kenrya: And that's because he wants to be able to have whoever the hell he wants to have in and out of there, having sex with.
Erica: Or even if he just wants to have his space, like motherfucker, this is a pandemic, give me a little bit of courtesy. Like, "Okay we need some more space. You spend more time at the park on Tuesdays and I spend more time in the park on Thursdays, something, but you just think I'll kick me out in the middle of a pandemic, make me go stay with my home girl,"-
Kenrya: Then call me back over because you wanting some head.
Erica: "... Call me over to fucking snuggle and get my dick sucked."
Kenrya: Yeah. And then the whole not wanting to have sex thing, it's like, "Well, what are you doing?"
Erica: Yeah. He just wants company, I mean I would love to just have somebody come over and eat my pussy and snuggle with me.
Kenrya: Or maybe he's raw dogging somebody else and then is-
Erica: And cares about you enough.
Kenrya: ... At least cares enough to not follow up, but either way it's bullshit-
Erica: At the end of the day.
Kenrya: He's a fuck boy.
Erica: It's a bunch of speculation on what the fuck is going on in his head, and I am always a firm believer of let's sit down and ask, and let's have a conversation.
Kenrya: But at this point?
Erica: In this situation, I wouldn't even want to, like you've shown me.
Kenrya: Once you told me that I have to move out, that's it.
Erica: Yeah. There's been selfishness throughout this whole thing and maybe he did give her a head start or something, but it just... Bro, you reek of selfishness. I don't know what it is, why this man is trying to not take the pussy, why he's trying to return the pussy to sender.
Kenrya: Mission accomplished nigga.
Erica: But at this point we don't really care. We just know that he's selfish and after being in a marriage and in a very long-term relationship, you recognize that shit gets real, real fast at the drop of a hat, and so I want to make sure that who I'm with is solid. And that situation is just, it's just the taste of the tip.
Kenrya: It’s just the tip. Sign up for our Patreon.
Erica: It is just the tip of the fuckery and not down for you-ness, that this nigga is going to bring.
Kenrya: Because they've been quarantining for five months and it was still not considered a relationship. So that tell me, he only really even had her in there so that he can have daily access.
Erica: In house pussy.
Kenrya: Exactly and then when he got tired of that, he told her she had to go somewhere. Fuck that nigga, that's what you should tell your friend-
Erica: Yeah, fuck him.
Kenrya: ... To tell him.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: All right.
Kenrya: So, that concludes this Quickie.
Erica: Well, thank you to everyone that submitted questions for this week's mailbag back, we really appreciate it. I hope we helped answer a few questions, always, girls seek therapy, I've been quick to tell people, "Girl, go talk to a therapist because I'm usually out of my wheelhouse." So anyway that's it. Thank you for joining us. This is Erica and Kenrya. Your two favorite hoes making it clap.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic, the theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off, subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, then drop us a five-star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Just post your review and email us a screenshot at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live, become a supporter today and you'll gain access to lots of goodies, including the Turn On Book Club, and two for one raffle entries. And don't forget to send us your book recommendations and your sex and related questions. Follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod, and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast, you can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and we will see you soon. Bye.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.