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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read Sondi Warner's "Lead Me Astray" and talk about paranormal creatures, consent and tapping into our primal selves.
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Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Erica: So, welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. We are reading “Lead Me Astray” which is by Sondi Warner also known as LesserKnown1, the number 1, on all her socials and also in Wattpad. So, the structure of this book is a little bit, well just a how to get it is a little different. This book is available on Wattpad which is a website, an app, and you have access to the book weekly? Or is it just ...
Kenrya: I don't know, I guess it's whenever they put up additional chapters?
Erica: Yeah. So, this is not a Netflix kind of book, binge book. This is an NBC every Wednesday night-
Kenrya: Watch it as it comes.
Erica: ... watch it as it comes book.
Kenrya: Yeah. Unless you come to like we did after it's already up. But it's cool because it's not traditionally published.
Erica: That's what I'm trying to say. It's not traditionally published but nonetheless, we picked it which means this is a good ass book.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: It's a good ass story. So, sit back, relax, get your wine, get your weed, get your whatever you need, and let's go.
Head over to Wattpad to read the selection.
Erica: That was “Lead Me Astray,” by Sondi Warner, also known as LesserKnown1. So, this book could best be described as a paranormal erotic murder mystery, right?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). That sounds good.
Erica: This book is great, y'all. Please read it. It is such a good story with lots of twists and turns and this is another story where it's told, each chapter's told from the perspective-
Kenrya: A different perspective, yeah.
Erica: ... of one of the main characters. It is just great. This is one of those books that when we came up with The Turn On this was the type of book that I imagined us doing. It features people of all genders, all races, just living, loving, and a good ass story.
Erica: Fucking. Good fucking. We got to that. All right, so, I'll give a synopsis. Kenrya, please stop me because I know I'm about to fuck this up.
Kenrya: No, you got it.
Erica: But it's so good. So, just get on this train ride with me. I know we're going to get there. We be on lots of trains together, y'all. Choo-choo.
Kenrya: That's what she said.
Erica: Okay. So, the story starts with this Black woman, Aurie. She goes to a party with her younger sister. She gets killed at the party.
Kenrya: It sucks man.
Erica: Sucks bad.
Erica: So, she gets killed and then she kind of pops up, her spirit pops up and is like, "Whoa, shit. What's going on?" And she sees everybody in the commotion but then she sees this person off in the distance looking at her like, "Oh, shit. That's fucked up."
Kenrya: Right. It's like clear eye contact.
Erica: Clear eye contact. And so, Aurie realizes, "Yo, this person can see me." So, she follows 'em. So, the person that she follows is Mys, which is the Japanese intersex person. So, Aurie follows Mys to their home and ...
Kenrya: Okay, y'all we might as well, so, we have a studio dog.
Erica: Yeah, we have a studio dog and he just ... So, we try to edit around him but it's kind of difficult.
Kenrya: He is right here.
Erica: So, he is right here in Kenrya's face and just did a whole little shimmy thing.
Kenrya: Hey. He's just going to stare at me.
Erica: He's going to stare at you.
Erica: Okay, so, Aurie follows Mys home to their home and just kind of becomes just a little pest?
Kenrya: Yeah. Just hanging out.
Erica: And Mys explains to Aurie like, "Yo, you got some unfinished business. So, you just need to go on about your business and get your unfinished business taken care of."
Kenrya: So, you can go.
Erica: So, you can go. The third character in the story is Zyr. Zyr is a detective that's responsible for investigating Aurie's death, and he ends up as a part of the crew.
Kenrya: Right. And Zyr's a werewolf, right?
Erica: He's a werewolf male.
Erica: A male werewolf.
Erica: Okay, so Aurie's stuck between here and the afterlife because she has some unfinished business and while she's trying to close out that business she falls in love with Mys and Zyr. And they have a polyamorous relationship. After weeks and weeks of increasing tension, they have sex.
Kenrya: That was what we just read.
Erica: And what we just read was the first time that they're having sex. Something important to note in the story is that Mys is a sex worker and because they're intersex they don't like having sex other than just oral sex. They say anything above the top we're good. You're not going below.
Kenrya: So, above the waist, okay.
Erica: Yeah. Anything above the waist, yeah. Anything below that, sorry boo.
Kenrya: It's off-limits, yeah.
Erica: It's off-limits.
Kenrya: And we should note that Mys is also a supernatural being?
Kenrya: They live between ...
Erica: They live between the two worlds.
Kenrya: Right. And so, the book is set in New Orleans but it's also called Overlay City?
Erica: Overlay City. Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: Right. And so, Overlay City sits at this nexus, it's like a space where supernaturals and the humans-
Erica: It's like the point between.
Kenrya: ... all live together but they can't necessarily identify each other?
Erica: Yes. We're going to have Sondi on to-
Kenrya: Yeah, it's really cool. But it's like between heaven and ...
Erica: It's like the overlay. I looked at it as the current tangible what we see world is New Orleans. And Overlay City is like this transparent-
Kenrya: A veil that's on top of it.
Erica: Yeah, it's a filter.
Erica: You know, on top that some people can see. Some people can't.
Kenrya: Right. And so, Mys is a Sup, which is what they call themselves, short for Supernatural, just as Zyr is. So, that's why Mys can see Aurie when she dies. It's not, she doesn't have magical powers because she's intersex or they don't have magical powers because they're intersex. It's because they are also a Supernatural.
Erica: So, this scene is a really big part of the story because this is the first time that Mys is letting their walls down and allowing anyone to see their body fully and experience them. Right?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: So, this is really big. So, yeah, so that's where we start in the story. Again, I probably gave a horrible description of it.
Kenrya: I don't think you did.
Erica: I hope I gave you enough of a description to want to read it. I cannot wait to talk to Sondi because I feel like she has really built this world and thought it out very well. Like just the little rules and the way things work.
Kenrya: Right, and they're consistent, right?
Erica: And it's so, I'm just like, "Girl, that brain of yours is just amazing."
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: So, I'm really excited to talk to Sondi about it. But back to the story and the excerpt that we read. So, this chapter, first, it is so sexy that Zyr is a werewolf. Like I would be fucking ... He's a werewolf but he has a human form.
Erica: And so, it opens with him circling the two of them, kind of like a prey, like they're prey and they're being hunted. And he kind of opens with like a soliloquy maybe?
Kenrya: Oh, about freedom or ...
Erica: Yeah, to be truly free we give up something. To be free we lose the ability to the capricious whims of our own primal selves. I mean, okay, in real life if I was about to have sex with somebody and this nigga started prowling and-
Kenrya: Great, giving a speech?
Erica: Give me a speech? I'd be like, "Nigga."
Kenrya: Nigga. Get it over here.
Erica: Wah, wah, wah. I have to get that Price is Right song so that I can play it when I'm trying to say it.
Kenrya: If we can do that legally?
Erica: All right.
Erica: I guess. I was going to say, "Fuck it." But we about to blow up and I don't need somebody coming snatching a whole good episode.
Erica: So, all right, but I think what he's saying is really true. Like in order to have good sex it's primal. It is just like you got to let loose, you know?
Erica: What do you think?
Kenrya: I can see that. I mean I think when I was reading that part, I was thinking that he was talking about like larger implications of letting yourself go. I wasn't even just thinking about the sex part of it.
Kenrya: So, yes, with the sex part of it I think yeah, I think very often, I was just having this experience of like being in my head and not letting go on some shit. That to me speaks to not tapping fully into that primal sense, right? Because you're thinking instead of just being a ball of actions. Right?
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: In the greater life part of it, it made me think of one of my favorite movies, “Fight Club.” When he's like “It's only when we lose everything that we can gain everything."
Erica: Oh my God. I got to roll my eyes so hard.
Kenrya: Don't roll your eyes at me. Whatever.
Erica: But no. I get it.
Erica: Once you let go of the veneer keeping everything together that's when you are truly, truly free.
Kenrya: Able to fully engage, yeah.
Erica: Yeah, and so, this chapter was Mys, right?
Kenrya: Yes. Mys narrates.
Erica: Yeah, this chapter was Mys and she said, "Performance went out the window."
Erica: They said, "Performance went out the window."
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: And I thought that was so true. Again, it goes back to this vulnerability. I truly believe that ... So, I think about this, when I'm having sex with someone I got a little gut.
Kenrya: Who doesn't?
Erica: It's a cute little baby gut. So, I don't mind it. But you know how you look at porn and everybody got like these flat stomachs and is so cute.
Kenrya: No. No.
Erica: Well, no.
Kenrya: Not the porn I watch.
Erica: I like amateur porn. So, yeah. But you know like professional porn everybody got these flat toned bodies?
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.
Erica: And you're like, "Hm. This ain't really how it work," because one if you doing good breathing that stomach is going in and out.
Erica: And so, I think about that when I think about like good sex versus really good sex. Like you really have to like-
Erica: ... be vulnerable and abandon like just even the ideas of like how my body looks, you know?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: You really just have to like let it go and, to me, that's when it truly gets good because you're like, "Fuck it. We are just here to have a good time."
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Not worried about you judging me. I'm not judging you.
Erica: Exact. I mean how you going to judge somebody when you just had your whole face in their asshole?
Kenrya: Right. It's so crazy and I think that then sometimes we forget like I can't think of a time when I've ever in real-time been judging somebody. Okay, I can think of one time where I was judging somebody but I wasn't judging their body. I was judging the fact that they were jackhammering into me. But I've never been having sex and been judging someone's body ever.
Erica: And you were probably judging that they were more like, "You just really clueless about what's happening."
Kenrya: Yeah, he wasn't at all tuned into what my body was saying or he was just hammering away. But I can't say that I've ever been thinking, "Oh, this person's got a gut or...." No. I'm like let me put this in my mouth.
Erica: Because by the time I'm here, I want this. I want you.
Kenrya: Yeah. See I'm probably kissing on that gut.
Erica: I might have judged you before we got to this point but those judgments weren't hard enough to keep you from getting this pussy.
Erica: So, yeah.
Kenrya: So, why am I worried about you judging me when it's the furthest thing from my mind?
Erica: But we do.
Kenrya: Yeah. Absolutely.
Erica: You know, like I think about when I was younger and I struggled with, not only physical vulnerability but emotional vulnerability. You know, when I lost my fucks I just really, things became so much better-
Kenrya: It's so much better and easier.
Erica: ... because you're free, because I think that I judge people ... I don't judge people as much anymore. I feel like I'm getting much closer to being like judgment-free of people. Like you do your thing. I'm not saying that I don't do it completely, but-
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). But you're intentional about, you know ...
Erica: About not judging people.
Kenrya: Yeah. I get it. Same.
Erica: You know?
Kenrya: And I redirect myself. I catch myself. I'll be like, "Bitch, stop." Literally, I will say that to myself. Like, "Don't do this."
Erica: Yeah, because you probably doing some shit somebody else judging.
Erica: And that don't feel good. You know? But when I freed myself of fucks, life became sweeter. Nectar became sweeter. Dicks became harder and pussies juicier.
Kenrya: Well, there you go. What more can you ask for?
Erica: So, yeah, when you lose yourself of that judgment and you stop judging yourself and stop judging people life is just so much easier but I think I struggle with judging people so harshly because I was judging myself. And that was one of the things that I said I'm letting go for 2019, is just I am freeing myself of judgment.
Kenrya: 2019 or 2020?
Erica: Letting go in 2019 for 2020.
Kenrya: For 2020, gotcha.
Erica: I am freeing myself of judgment and judging people. Judging myself, you know? And I think it starts with judging myself because once I stopped judging myself so harshly, that's the first person I care about the most, I'm going to stop judging other people. And I think also, that makes me a better mother because I think a lot of time, I mean this goes back to codependency, a lot of times you're so harsh on your kid because you are fearful of how people judge you as a parent or judge your child. So, letting go of that judgment heightens my vulnerability and makes just sex and life so much better.
Kenrya: Yeah. Which is why it was pretty key right at the beginning of the excerpt that she wrote, Mys is like something, maybe "I'm dizzy with vulnerability"? And that really resonated with me.
Erica: Yeah. Because to be stripped bare of if like ... because it's an armor. It holds you up. When you don't have that vulnerability you are like the insides of a crustacean. Good and jelly-like.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: I have the most random ...
Kenrya: You do. But they're always illustrative.
Erica: Yeah. So, bitch, anal play.
Kenrya: Oh, yeah. I was like ...
Erica: I loved it.
Kenrya: And I loved that there was the consent, the barely perceptible nod. Like they waited to make sure that Zyr said, "Okay."
Kenrya: And then did it.
Erica: He liked it.
Kenrya: And then tapped that button ...
Erica: He pushed the button. Tap, tap, to the tap.
Kenrya: Yeah. And he liked it. I wish more men would say okay.
Erica: You know, I have a partner that just is so willing to try new things.
Erica: And that, in and of itself, is a turn on.
Erica: Like being willing to like, you know, I got my box of stuff and I pull something out. I'm like, "You okay with this?" "All right, let's try it." And you can tell he is freaking out like, "What the fuck?" But he let's go and it is like, I think that's part of why the sex is so great because it is truly an experience. We are truly like learning and exploring.
Kenrya: Right, because even if he was like, "Yeah, that's not for me." Y'all tried it and he was willing to trust you enough to try it.
Erica: Yes, because what's really big, I have a note here the biggest thing about this scene is that Mys was able to trust her partners and surrender.
Kenrya: Their partners.
Erica: Their partners. Y'all I am so sorry. I'm working on it. And I truly hate that it's habit. So, Mys was able to trust their partners and surrender to them. Which for their first time in their life had them experience this joy and this physical just, oh.
Kenrya: Connection, right?
Kenrya: Like yeah, okay, sex is bodies and sweat and fluids and slapping. But when is his best for me?
Erica: At one point they said that this was their first time being desired simply for being or something.
Kenrya: Not for like what they could give.
Erica: I can't, I got to, I'll find it. But it was just so beautifully written because they've spent their entire life in this body that they thought no one would want or no one would understand and appreciate. But they trust their partners enough to really say, "Okay, I'm going to try this and trust that you're not going to hurt me or have me in some crazy situation." And they were truly able to just enjoy and let go and yes, it was a physical greatness but it was also for the first time something emotional where they were able to really connect with some people. So, it was beautiful. Have you had an experience where you were like the kombucha girl?
Kenrya: Yeah, mm, hmm. Okay. Huh? I don't know. I mean probably anal.
Kenrya: I mean I was really afraid of it. And the first time I did it was bad and it was because I didn't really want to do it. It was more that I was being pressured into it. And I said, yes to get that nigga off my back. But then when I had anal with a partner where he, one knew what he was doing, and like prepped me. You know, like made me come first, you know all the things that we've talked about on previous episodes about making it easier, and quite honestly, had a penis that was a better fit for anal sex and that's not a bad thing at all. It was like, "Oh. Bitch, this is possible."
Erica: And you trusted it, as you trust that partner wasn't going to hurt you.
Kenrya: Absolutely. Yeah. And so, it absolutely went from something that I had a tiny bit of trepidation about, because my past experience hadn't been great, to something that I really enjoyed. What about you?
Erica: I think maybe it was my first threesome. Well, no not my first threesome. But it was a first threesome that I truly enjoyed. And it was because I was with a partner that I didn't feel ... So, I feel like when you're a woman that is queer and enjoys having sex with other women, like I enjoy having sex with other women. More in the setting of a threesome. Like I doubt that I would have like a mini one on one experience but I mean that's Erica speaking today. It might change. I find that men find that out, I think I've said this before, men find that out and they're like, "Oh, great. We doing a threesome next week."
Kenrya: Right, they fetishsize you.
Erica: And it's like, "Eh, let's not go there." If this is something we're going do, we're going do it and I want to but it's not like don't introduce me to every girlfriend like, "Hey, is she an option?"
Erica: So, my first threesome that got me hooked was in a situation I was with a partner and he was on some like, "We're going to do this because we want to do this." And so, I was able to trust him in this process and open up and feel like he's not like recording this in his mind so he can play it back later on or like, "Oh, I got her. Now, I get to do this threesome with these two hot chicks." But it was just once, I'm like I care for you. I want you to have this experience and I want to experience it too. Let's do it together. And so, it was like a really good experience because we're these three people having this amazing time together but I didn't feel like I was being used or got. You know?
Erica: It was just we're all here having a good time. But I had to trust that my partner was willing and open to just letting that happen.
Kenrya: Right, in your previous experiences because you said that was the first one where you felt that way, was that not the case in your previous experiences?
Erica: I enjoyed the threesomes. But how we got to them were like ... Yeah, I felt like, "This nigga just trying to like set some shit up." You know? Like this is something that he probably always wanted to do and so that's why also like I'm picky about who I have threesomes with because it's just, this isn't a win for you. I mean, well, if you fuck me maybe it's a win. But you know like this isn't something that you're like, "Oh."
Kenrya: I'm not just doing you for you.
Erica: Yeah, or like this was something I'm checking off on my bucket list. When we have sex I want you to be as concerned or more concerned about me getting mine than you are getting yours. I love worship. I love you to want. You know like want to be with me. You know, like all that shit. And so, I want you to look at, if you're having a threesome with me I want you to be like, "Oh, I'm giving Erica this amazing gift." You know?
Erica: And not on some like, "Oh, I get to have a threesome."
Kenrya: Got her!
Erica: You know?
Erica: That kind of thing. No one wants to feel like they're being used.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: I mean, I love being used.
Kenrya: I mean some people, mother says, some people do and if they're like maybe, you know, that's some people's kink.
Erica: Yeah, but you know, I don't feel like I'm being exploited to get this threesome.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Especially when, and I say this all the time, especially when if you just have a good conversation with me, nine times out of ten, I'm going to be down for that shit.
Erica: Like, cheating. Like, Dawg, don't cheat on me.
Kenrya: Right. Like, don't do this.
Erica: Nine times out of ten, you're going to have a better time if you tell me this what you're trying to do because I was like, "Hey, hey. Let's do this." You know? I got some good ideas. I read books.
Kenrya: You do read books.
Erica: When they were having sex, y'all know I love to talk shit when I'm having sex. I like to talk. I like to hear. I can talk a nigga into coming. Like that is, I am good.
Kenrya: Hm, wow. That's a fucking skill.
Erica: I talk. I talk shit. So, I loved while they were having sex, Zyr was praising Aurie.
Kenrya: Yeah, that was great.
Erica: Oh. It's was just so great.
Kenrya: Well, and so Aurie's 19 when she dies?
Kenrya: Zyr is 26. I don't know how old ...
Erica: Mys is.
Kenrya: Yeah. Do you?
Erica: No. I don't.
Erica: But they seem like they're all on the younger side of the-
Kenrya: Around the ... yeah.
Erica: ... on the younger side of the world.
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't a big enough gap in there that it felt-
Kenrya: ... creepy or anything, yeah. But if Aurie was like, "Can you show me?" And it was like, "Oh, okay." There's some teaching and some learning and whatnot going on here.
Erica: And this excerpt you say you touched on it earlier but this excerpt shows a lot. It makes communication and consent really sexy.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Like this excerpt really shows how sexy and normal consent and communication can be during sex. And I think that people joke or get pissed and like, "You can't do nothing. You got to ..." You know, I think that's there is a way to sexily ask somebody if I can stick my finger your butt.
Erica: And it don't have to be ...
Kenrya: "Can I stick my finger your butt?"
Erica: "Hello, can I stick my finger up your butt?" You know, like they were able to make consent and communication very sexy and I wish that things like this was ... Well, I feel like it's written a lot in what we read, but I wish it was depicted more in mainstream media, to give people ideas of how ...
Kenrya: Yeah, like you never see that it in the movies. Yeah, rom-coms is always like somebody grabbing somebody's head and kissing them lustily.
Erica: Which works great in rom-coms or when you're feeling everybody. But if you're not?
Kenrya: But it shouldn't because there's no asking.
Erica: But if you're not or you're unsure or like men are fucking clueless.
Kenrya: I'm sorry.
Kenrya: So, I was thinking about rom-coms and about people grabbing people and remembered the time that somebody grabbed me in the middle of Times Square, that white dude grabbed me in the middle of Times Square and kissed me in my mouth. And I ran away.
Erica: Yeah. I would probably have the same ... That's a good rom-com reaction.
Kenrya: I was so freaked out. Like you don't get to just put your tongue in my mouth. There was zero consent and nothing to let you think that it was okay.
Erica: But, I don't want to say in his defense but in his defense, he's probably a clueless man that has grown up thinking that women want this shit because they see it in rom-coms, can't catch on to clues.
Kenrya: And so, I ran downstairs and onto a platform and onto a train.
Erica: Yeah. And that ain't how you do it. And so, I wish that it was more seeing how to ask for consent and how to ... You know, like I think it's so sexy when I see something and someone leans in and is like, "Can I kiss you?"
Erica: Oh, my God. That is so sexy. And so, the only time we talk about, not the only time but so often when I see people talk about consent it's in this very formal or "You have to do it this way."
Kenrya: It was also, I think illustrative of the fact that consent doesn't stop at the point that you like start.
Erica: Yes. Yeah.
Kenrya: So, I literally just had this experience. I wanted to put a vibrator in a spot, not in a spot, but on a spot and I asked. We were already having sex, I was like, "Can I try something?" "Okay." Just a little vibrator to the balls. But I asked because I didn't want him to freak out. You know?
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: And it doesn't stop just because you've been having sex with somebody for months and months or years and years or whatever. Like you still need to ask even in the act about adding new things into the pot. Don't just stick a dick in somebody's mouth without asking.
Erica: Yeah, unless you have an-
Erica: ... and agreement that you can stick your dick in my mouth without asking.
Erica: There are few people walking this earth that have that agreement including that fine ass, Trevante Rhodes.
Kenrya: Oh, gosh. Yeah.
Erica: Trevante, sir, this is your permission slip.
Kenrya: I was just looking at those pictures again of him in his underwear?
Erica: Oh, my God. Is it Calvin Klein?
Kenrya: The Calvin Klein, yes, Lord.
Kenrya: Just pretty teeth.
Erica: The Lord knew what he was doing when he put that man together. Is he trash?
Kenrya: I don't think so? I follow him on something and I've never ... You know, he posts a lot of poetry and stuff on IG. I haven't seen anything trash.
Erica: It he hotep?
Kenrya: I don't think so.
Erica: Well, if you are, I'd-
Kenrya: You could still ...
Erica: ... I'd still do you. I just wouldn't have no babies by you. Well, I might?
Kenrya: Or any conversations?
Kenrya: No, you don't. No. No, babies with hoteps, boo.
Erica: Oh, yeah. I was going to say but-
Kenrya: Nope. It has lasting implications.
Erica: It does, it does. And we will leave that out for the editor's notes.
Kenrya: Oh, I don't give a shit. Who got fucks? Not me.
Erica: You know what? We're free of fucks. Man, ran on my last fuck. Speaking of fucks, would you fuck a ghost? Or a werewolf? Because this whole scene is one person fucking a ghost and a werewolf.
Kenrya: Right, yeah.
Erica: Would you fuck a ghost or a werewolf?
Kenrya: Well, we talked about this in the first season, talking about fucking werecats.
Erica: Oh, I did ask, "Would you fuck a werecat?"
Kenrya: I mean, I don't see why not?
Kenrya: I mean I will say that I am most comfortable with human forms. So, the fact that this werewolf was in a human form I feel like I am not into bestiality. It's not my thing.
Erica: If you're fucking me and your back turned furry, we going to have a problem.
Kenrya: Yeah. I think that would be tough for me. But just the fact that he can shift and that he is a werewolf it's not a deterrent because he's fine.
Erica: There's a part in the book later where he turns into a werewolf in front of them and Aurie is like, "Well, gird my loins." And I'm like, "Oh, yeah." I mean yeah, I don't think I want to fuck in werewolf form but to know that you can. It's kind of like when you see him like, "Oh."
Kenrya: Because it's a possibility. Yeah, it's like the ferocity that's just under the ... Ferocity, that's just under the surface. But then he's also described as like, what does he have? So, his family's from India because he says that he sometimes breaks into Punjab when he's cussing.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: So, people don't know what he's saying. And then he's got like hazel eyes and clear skin and I'm just like. "Okay."
Erica: Oh, he fine as hell. I don't mind this man. In my mind everybody's fine. Everybody's fine. But they're older. Also, like the idea of like me doing with a 19-year-old. Not at all.
Kenrya: No, thank you.
Erica: But like in my mind-
Kenrya: Yeah, that's true. I did make them older in my head.
Erica: ... Aurie is fine. In my mind, Mys is just mm.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: The things I'd do to you, Mys. And, Zyr, like you all want another one in this group?
Kenrya: Right, and Mys does burlesque. I mean we didn't even talk about, you know ...
Erica: Yeah. Mys is just like fucking dope. In their condo, their apartment, dope.
Kenrya: Yes. Yeah, if you know how to find it.
Erica: It is just a great story. Just great details. The way things overlap and get into. It's just, oh, just amazing. Last question, not sex-related. Do you believe in ghosts?
Kenrya: I do. Yeah.
Kenrya: I believe that the people who we love never really leave us, and that they are around us all the time. And that doesn't frighten me because they love us. They don't want to harm us. They just want to see how we're doing and help us out sometimes.
Kenrya: I remember when my daughter was really young, like really young, I had like certain spots in the house where I would nurse her and I would remember I would always sit in my bed, on my side of the bed, and there was a corner and she would always look up in that corner and laugh. Like would be on the boob and I'm talking a couple of weeks old, would pop off of the boob and be fucking cracking up, looking up in that corner. We lived there until she was eight months old, and there's not a day that I can think of that she didn't look up there and laugh. And she didn't do it when we were sitting. It wasn't like she was tickled by breastfeeding because she never did it when we're sitting in the living room. It was always in that spot. And I was convinced that one of her great grannies or somebody was up there fucking with her and she thought that shit was hilarious.
Kenrya: It's the reason that I sage spaces besides just folk's energy. You never know who may still be lingering, who was a person of somebody else, and that's cool but I don't want you here with me because you don't love me. So, I don't know what you mean for me. Even when I moved into the place where I live now, the first night that I slept there I felt somebody like shake my toe. And I woke up and I looked around. I didn't see anything. But it was very distinct. I was a little freaked out. But also, like, "Ah, you know, there's something to do for this. It's fine." I got some sage and burned it and it was fine. And we do that periodically, especially as people come in and out of the house. If we have people doing service work.
Erica: Yeah, the energy they have. Uh-huh (affirmative).
Kenrya: You never know what folks are bringing with them. What they're energy’s off, or if sometimes they bring really bad energy and I do it as soon as they leave. Because I believe it's not just the energy but who we carry with us. So, yeah. I do. But I'm not afraid.
Erica: Yeah. I think the older I get and the more people that are very dear to me pass on I have no choice but to, for many reasons. One, I have so many important people that have passed on and so many things have happened to me. Y'all, we going to have a crazy season because I'll probably be sharing things later on. But you can't tell me I ain't got somebody up there looking out for me.
Kenrya: That's right.
Erica: I mean, in addition to God. But he got a whole lot of people and I got somebody special with him on the main line. So, yeah, like I am convinced that my granny and my mamma are here and they look out for me and protect me, and guide me and keep me safe from harm. So, yeah. I totally believe that there are ghosts. I just hope that when it's my time to go that I make it on the other end and I'm not trapped in this fucked up world.
Kenrya: Yeah. In this book, she's trapped. But for them, I just think it's like they're visiting. So, I lost someone really close to me when I was in my 20s and I remember being on the couch and just feeling him. He was there. I smelled him. That was the first thing. It just all of a sudden the room was just permeated with like, you know, everybody's got their smell. Like their deodorant, their toothpaste. Like the smells that make up them. And he was just there. He just was and I was like, "Hey, I see that you're here. I'm so glad you visited." I was still grieving. And I think that that's why he came. But I believed that they pop in and they pop out.
Erica: Yeah, no, I totally, totally agree. Okay, well, before we start crying.
Kenrya: I know.
Erica: On this sad note, I know I'm about to start crying. Before we start crying I will close this out again by saying this is just a really good book. I recommend y'all pick it up. Read the whole thing. There are lots of really great erotic scenes in it. But also, just a really good book by a really great Black author.
Kenrya: Yeah, it's well written. It's funny. It's familiar but also not.
Erica: Yeah. Oh, I do not do paranormal. I do not do murder mysteries. I don't do any ... Can you all tell? I like nigga shit. But this book just has me unable to put it down. So, thank you for joining us. Thank you for listening to us go on and on about our dead folks that we carry with us. Thank you for letting us talk about consent and what that looks like and how we love some good, "Can I stick my finger in your booty?" As opposed to just sticking it there.
Kenrya: We do. Yeah. It makes everything better.
Erica: It does.
Kenrya: So, with that said, that's this week's episode of The Turn On. So, it's Erica and Kenrya, two hoes ...
Erica & Kenrya: Making it clap.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. We want to hear from y'all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions that you want us to answer to TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com. Please subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod, and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast and find links to books, transcripts, guests info, and other fun stuff at theturnonpodcast.com. And remember, The Turn On Podcast is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more podcasts that you'll love at Frolic.media/podcasts. Thanks for joining us and we'll see you soon. Bye.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.