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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk about the pleasures and challenges of one night stands.

The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.

TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: Hey, y'all.

Kenrya: Hey folks.

Erica: We are here. We are here to tickle your fancy. Tickle your nipples, your titillations. Not everybody got nipples, I'm learning. Actually, side note. When you get a mastectomy, a big thing is whether or not you get to keep your nipples. And I was like, I want my nipples. Please let me keep my nipples. I love my nipples. Love my areolas. They're big, mammy areolas.

Erica: Now that I got them, they are aggressive as fuck. Like I really wouldn't have to wear a bra if it weren't for these nipples that are like, "Nigga, I'm here."

Kenrya: They are constantly on.

Erica: "We made it. I am here. Look at me, look at me. How are you? Look at me?" This is like, "God damn." So, you know, I guess, you know.

Kenrya: Well can't you just wear those little nipple cover things? Do you have to wear a whole ass bra?

Erica: I do. Oh, that's what I do.

Kenrya: I mean, also, your nipples can just do what they want. Who says they have to be covered?

Erica: They are distracting. No, I mean like in most situations I wouldn't, but like I got to wear them at work because I just ... They're fucking distracting. They look good, but they're distracting. So yeah. I'm not sure how we got on nipples, but we are here to do what ... Have a little story time.

Kenrya: Yes, time for some stories.

Erica: Gather around the fire. The fire that's being stoked with the tears and pages from hotep books or burning hoteps, we burning ashy niggas. I don't know. Anyway.

Kenrya: I don't think that tears can stoke a fire though. You probably have the opposite of that.

Erica: Hotep tears would because they're ashy.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Anyway, so we-

Kenrya: That's reasonable.

Erica: We're going to have a story about what?

Kenrya: One night stands.

Erica: One night stands. There's a Jazmine Sullivan song, but it takes a lot to get to the part where she says (singing). I don't know if it's just but anyway. I don't want to sing the whole song because I don't know the words and I will sing it and just keep going. So Killa, kick off that joint. Tell us about your one night stand. A memorable one night stand.

Kenrya: I mean I ... Yeah, sure. So I have had a few of them and they were all during a period that I lovingly refer to as my hoe period. Not that you have to be in a hoe period to have a one night stand, but as someone who was always in a fucking relationship, because I used to be afraid to be by myself, it took a hoe period for me to be able to have one night stands. And it was also during the time when I was grieving, because I had lost a partner or the person who I had just broken up with, died a couple of days after we broke up. And so, one of the ways that I coped once I got through the, "I'm crying all day, I'm not sleeping," portion of the grief, was that I was out here fucking.

Erica: As my granny would say, "Hmm, best way to get over an old man is to get under a new man."

Kenrya: Yeah, I guess so.

Erica: Not healthy, but it was said.

Kenrya: I wouldn't say that it was healthy, but it was fun. So, there were a few of memorable moments in there and you were around for, I think, two of them. So I think I'm going to tell the story that you weren't around for.

Erica: Yeah. Share.

Kenrya: So I was in the Dominican Republic for a friend's wedding and this was before folks really started boycotting the DR for how shitty its been treating Haitians. So it was, shit, years and years ago. And we went off of our resort to go to a club. And I just decided that I was fucking somebody that night. Like it was just-

Erica: Somebody going to get these yams.

Kenrya: Yeah. It was a decision that was already made. So we go to this club, I don't remember shit about it, except for that it was big and loud and the music was good. And I'm looking around, like looking for a prime candidate and I lock eyes with this little nigga and I'm like, "Oh, it's going to be him."

Erica: Was he like little, for real little?

Kenrya: No, no, no, no, no. I don't know why I'm calling him a little nigga.

Erica: I mean, you're not a huge person so it's just-

Kenrya: Yeah. He's taller than me. Whatever. I just, I remember looking at him and being like, "Oh yeah, okay. It's going to be him." Like I just decided. So maybe we dance a couple of times. I legit don't remember. It was a night. And at some point I leave to go to the bathroom because why? Because I always have to go to the bathroom. This is a thing that we know about me. So I go by myself to the bathroom, I've got this little electric blue wallet thing. Remember when all the little wallets were like those rectangles that you like closed, it has like a little clasp?

Erica: It was like a little pur-. I know exactly what you're talking.

Kenrya: One of those ... It wasn't really a purse, but it was like a card holder. Yeah. But I was using it as a purse. And so all I really had in it, I had a card, I had an ID, luckily I did not have my passport. And so I go and I'm drunk. Right. So I sit it on the toilet paper holder thing, which, God, I would normally never do ...

Erica: Germs.

Kenrya: Because germs and I pee and I walk out and I wash my hands and I fucking go back to my friends, not realizing that I've left my wallet purse thing in the bathroom. Yeah. So I'm out there drunk, dancing, whatever. And at some point I realize I don't have my shit. So I run back to the bathroom. Of course it's gone. Like gone, gone. The attendant in the bathroom was helping me look. We going through the garbage, like everything trying to find my shit. It's gone. So I'm like, "All right, well I still have an objective for the night." Fuck that wallet.

Erica: Ain't no sense in crying over spilled milk.

Kenrya: Yeah. Well, you know, I did. They made an announcement. Of course. You know, my shit.

Erica: That was just, let's help this bitch feel better.

Kenrya: Exactly. But I was like fuck it. I was like, “You know what? This has been terrible, but I have a thing that I wanted to do. And what's the point of sticking around for the rest of the night? Let's go!” So I tell my crew that I'm heading back. I tell old dude where I'm staying. I leave, he leaves and meets me. I think he met me, I don't know, maybe 20 minutes later. After I got back to my room, I needed a minute to get myself together.

Erica: Wash your puss.

Kenrya: Yeah, I had been in the club, dancing, whatever. So I get back and I'm staying with a roommate-

Erica: Even though he probably brought over stank balls, just so you know.

Kenrya: I'm sure he did.

Erica: Like, niggas are the worst.

Kenrya: Exactly. And I was in my twenties. So, you know ...

Erica: We cared about those things.

Kenrya: Yeah. And so-

Erica: I mean, we still do but ...

Kenrya: But I mean, he was also in his twenties, he didn't give a fuck. Yeah. And I had a roommate because we were there for a wedding in another country. I wasn't a baller, like we were sharing a room. And so I had let her know when I was leaving the club, what was happening just in case she came back while I was still entertaining my company.

Erica: Entertaining your man friend.

Kenrya: So he came over, we had some sex. I don't even really remember too much about it, except for that it was what I wanted and that it was safe. And I sent him on his way. I mean, at that point it was too late for me to be worried about my shit. So whatever I was like-

Erica: We'll figure that shit out in the morning.

Kenrya: ... This'll at least be a nice way. Yeah. It was a nice way to end the night. So next morning, I'm calling Amex and calling and canceling all my cards and also trying to get some money, which is a reason why I always have an Amex because Amex will send money wherever the fuck you are, if there is something wrong because I had zero money at that point. I didn't even have money to get to the airport.

Erica: Damn.

Kenrya: Amex sent me money so that I could get a cab to go pick it up. It was a whole thing, but Amex is awesome for that. So then I find out this nigga calls my room. He's staying at the same resort.

Erica: Shit. Oh shit.

Kenrya: Which I did not know because again, my plan was for this to happen and then for us to each go our separate ways. He calls checking in, "Did you figure out your card stuff, find your wallet?" I'm like, "No, I'm working on it. Why are you calling me?" But I was a much nicer person at that point and so when he asked to exchange information, I said, "Sure."

Erica: You didn't mean it.

Kenrya: I didn't and so I stayed in DR, I don't know for maybe another day or two, go back to New York where I'm living at the time, I'm in Harlem. I get a call.

Erica: Oh my gosh.

Kenrya: It's this nigga. Where does he live? Brooklyn. Who does he want to see? Me.

Erica: Your Harlem bound ass.

Kenrya: I'm like, "Oh, well ..."

Erica: Well, I guess ... It's like that. I mean, where it's like, yeah, yeah, I got it. Yep.

Kenrya: So I end up saying, "Okay," because I'm like fuck it. I ain't with nobody. I might as well go on and get bust down again. But I think I had plans or something. So I like, “When I’m done with my work friends...”

Erica: You like super...

Kenrya: My life, I get home and he was standing on my stoop.

Erica: Was he singing songs? He should've been.

Kenrya: No. He was just waiting on me. It was very cute. And so I brought him in and we did the do, and it was fine. And then he kept calling and I remember I was going to an event. This was back when I was a magazine editor and I would always be at events and it was an Apple event and they always would do it at this one particular hotel that was really dope where they would bring you in and it was like a gifting suite. And so you come in.

Erica: Oh, yes.

Kenrya: That's how I got my first iPhone, with service.

Erica: I remember that.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I remember when that bitch stayed on for years.

Kenrya: Yeah. It was on for more than a year. And I think it's supposed to be three months of service and somebody just forgot to turn that shit off.

Erica: I remember, you were like, you call me, it's like, "My phone off." Finally.

Kenrya: Right. So then I just transfered my number over to that phone. And that was the beginning.

Erica: And that was the end of your Nextel. Your chirp chirp.

Kenrya: Yep. That's how that happened.

Erica: Okay, sorry.

Kenrya: So anyway, I was coming back from one of those events. I'm walking through Bryant Park, which is where they used to do Fashion Week. And so it was very magazine, whatever. And I'm walking back to my office, which is in Times Square. And it's a sunny day, whatever. This nigga calls. I'm like, "God dammit." I'm like, "Okay, I think it's time to do this."

Kenrya: So I pick up, he's like, "Hey,” you know, “can I see you?" And I was like, "No." And he was like, "What do you mean?" I was like, "I don't really want to do that." And he was like, "Why?" I was like, "Well, this was never meant to be a whole thing." I was like, "I thought I was upfront about that but obviously I wasn't." I was like, "So I just got to tell you, I'm not interested in this turning into anything. I don't want to have sex regularly. I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm good." And he was like, "Well, can we just be friends?" And I was like, "I don't think so." I was like, "The only thing that we have in common is that we like to fuck each other."

Erica: Yeah. What the fuck?

Kenrya: And I made some comforting noises and I got off the phone.

Erica: Comforting. Oh. Hmm. Ah.

Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah. So that is the story of one of my one night stands. How about you?

Erica: It took me a minute to think about a story that I haven't shared before.

Kenrya: Yeah. I think I've only shared the aftermath of this one. I don't think I had shared the whole thing.

Erica: But you talking about going to your office reminded me. So one of the things that I did when I was trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to be when I grew up, I did commercial real estate. So-

Kenrya: I remember those days.

Erica: I worked at this commercial real estate firm and commercial real estate is an old white man sport. There are a few white women, few Black men. But if you're a Black woman in commercial real estate, you have really like, "Bitch, bow down." So I mean not this was in the olden days, but this was the early 2000s. So yeah, there was probably even less than there are now. So my office was on one half of the hall and there was another real estate firm on the other half, but they didn't really do commercial real estate. They did like investments. So it was a bunch of young slick niggas with suits and that kind of shit.

Erica: So there was this one dude and we kept flirting. We kept flirting, we kept flirting, and then one day we were like, "Hey, let's go." I guess this isn't a one night stand anyway. He's like, "Hey, let's go get some drinks after work." So I'm like, "Cool." So we go get some drinks after work. You know, liquor makes my pussy talk. Like in the words of my girl, JT and Yung Miami. So we get hot and heavy like there. So I was like, "I got to go back to my office and pick up something." So we get back to the office, he starts eating my pussy in the office.

Kenrya: Did you really have to pick up something?

Erica: No. I wanted him to eat my pussy in the office.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: So he eats my pussy in the office. And then he's like, "I can't wait to have you." So I'm like, "All right, you ain't got to wait. I live around the corner." So we go to my house. At this time I had a roommate and we ended up fucking in the ... We didn't even make it to my bedroom, we ended up fucking in the family room. We just ended up fucking in the family room. My dog sat on the couch and watched. We fucking standing up in a family room, middle of night. My roommate was in her room asleep. And then he left.

Kenrya: Andre was like, "Word?"

Erica: Yes. Andre was like, "Really? We going to do all that?" Yeah. And then we fucked and I was like, "It's really great meeting you." He was like, "Oh, I'm so sleepy." I said, "Well, you have a good drive back up to Dulles." And he left. I mean, that was the only time I fucked him, but I definitely did see him a lot, like in the hallway, on the elevator. And after that, I was like, "I don't know you." I definitely hit him with the same like, "Oh, hey, good, nice to see you. Yeah. I hope you have a good holiday." That kind of shit because it was like, "No, I wanted some dick and you smelled good that night." So yeah, that was that.

Kenrya: So I'm worried that both of our one night stand stories feature us not being that nice to people. Right. So, okay. There are ways-

Erica: But the thing is, I don't think he cared.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I mean, I think-

Kenrya: He probably, he knew what he was getting into,

Erica: If anything, I think he was just mad he couldn't spend the night, but by then we had sobered up. So it's not like you were drunk driving, but I don't think he wanted like a relationship after that.

Kenrya: Okay, good.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: I don't know if this other nigga did too. But at the very least he wants a steady supply of pussy and I just wasn't interested in being his supplier.

Erica: Yeah. He was like, "Nah, we ain't doing that. We ain't doing this. We ain't go down this road." Yeah. And I don't think one night stands necessarily have to be mean.

Kenrya: I don't think they have to at all.

Erica: It's just a transaction. It was a transaction.

Kenrya: I'm worried that those two felt-

Erica: No, no, I didn't. I don't think it was mean or manipulative. I think the only manipulative part on my end was me saying, "I got to go pick up something from my office." That's when I wanted him to eat my pussy right there.

Kenrya: Right there.

Erica: But yeah.

Kenrya: Have you ever had a one night stand keep popping up, like how I had with that dude?

Erica: I don't think so. Or maybe because the thing is. Here is a thing, DC is but only so big. And then you do the, "I went to Howard," and then if you've been in DC for long enough, like if somebody work on the Hill, you got a girl that work on a Hill, so all y'all, it's just, there are maybe like four groups of people, you know, like groups of types of people.

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:18:18] Black people. Yeah.

Erica: And so you in one of them groups and you didn't. Yeah. It's interesting because my ex-husband used to stay making friends and I'd be like, "Nigga, don't make no friends because I probably done fucked them."

Kenrya: Yeah, that's happened a couple of times.

Erica: And he was cool about it and we didn't even have to have a whole conversation. I'm just like, "Full disclosure," and he'll be like, "Oh, okay." And I'm like, "Look, dude, I became an adult here in this city so I done put some miles on this pussy in the city." But yeah. So I don't think that there were any that were trying to do much. I mean, I think I ... Full disclosure, I think that there were one night stands where I was, I mean, like let's not act like I was a bad bitch the whole time. There were definitely one night stands that I had where I was like, "Come on, come back."

Kenrya: "Can I have some more?"

Erica: "Can I have some more porridge, please?" Or wanting to turn it into more than just what it was, two niggas fucking. So you know, let's play and we'll take it.

Erica: Oh my God, I forgot about another one and [inaudible 00:19:25].

Kenrya: And it's making you laugh like that.

Erica: Because I literally had a flashback of fucking this nigga and then our home girl picking me up and we went out to eat afterwards. Like I fucked him at my house. We went out to a club, came back from the club, I fucked him on the couch in my little studio and then my girl called and was like, "Bitch, we going to Waffle House or something." You know, like, "We going to The Diner," and I was like, "Okay, come get me."

Erica: And I was like, "It was really great seeing you." And then I went to the diner and he went his way. But I thought about that also because that was the one guy, I was like, "You're so sweet. You're so kind." And he was like, "Oh, bitch. I just wanted some pussy and you made it good the first time. Now you trying to want some more." So I mean, I don't want to make it seem that like this player didn't take no shit because I definitely did with some one night stands. So yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah. I had one of the situations where you were there in Miami.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: That turned into a, "Oh, I'm coming to visit New York. We should get together." You knew that, right?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Erica: And like, "Bitch, you're coming to visit New York not me, right?" Yep. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Yeah. We did end up doing it again though. It was good. And then that was that. I think we both understood that this was just another opportunity for us to touch and agree.

Erica: Touch and agree.

Kenrya: Keep it moving.

Erica: Ding.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: All right, y'all. Well, this was our experiences with one night stands. Please share with us if you had some experiences with your one night stands that you want to share with us and with that, these are your two favorite hoe hosts.

Kenrya: That was cute.

Erica: Erica and Killa, two hoe hosts, making it clap.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Anyway, bye.

Kenrya: Listen, okay. To be clear, right?

Erica: You go like this.

Kenrya: We are over video because I'm trying to time it and I can't and it's not like we in the same room. I felt like we did better when we were in the same room. Maybe.

Erica: Bye y'all.

Kenrya: Okay, bye. Bye.

[theme music]

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app and drop us a five star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Just post your review and email us a screenshot at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and you'll gain access to lots of goodies, including The Turn On Book Club and two for one raffle entries. And don't forget to send us your book recommendations and your sex and related questions and follow us on Twitter at @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info, and other fun stuff at www.TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and we will see you soon. Bye!

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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk about the virtues of our good friend dry humping and share their experiences past and present-ish.

The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.

TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here... Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: Welcome to this week’s episode of The Turn On. We are going to switch it up and give you all a quickie. I love quickies because that means I don't have to read or prepare shit. I love our stories, but sometimes a bitch be lazy than a mug.

Kenrya: But also quickies are fun too.

Erica: They are fun.

Kenrya: Everything doesn't have to be long and drawn out.

Erica: Yes they are. Look at you, doing the double entendre.

Kenrya: Double entendre.

Erica: Double entendre. Entendre! Entendre! Did you ever watch Jackie Washington?

Kenrya: I did. Yes, I did it while organizing in my office. I just put it on a computer and sat down and watched it while I cleaned. It was awesome.

Erica: Entendre! Entendre! I love it. And being that I'm from St. Louis, it gives me the feels because my mother definitely reminds me of Jenifer Lewis.

Kenrya: Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative). So, yeah.

Erica: Okay. So today we're dedicating this episode to who? Our good homeboy. Our good homeboy who? Your good homeboy you forgot about once you started fucking. Our good friend, DH, dry humping.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: We've said this before. Once we started doing it, we gave up on dry humping and sometimes a good dry hump is like... I can't think of when I've done it as an adult, because-

Kenrya: Oh, I have a story.

Erica: Give me that dick! But yeah. Well tell me your dry humping story.

Kenrya: No, let's go back to the beginning, the origins, of dry humping.

Erica: That's us being teleported. We're like whisked away. Okay. I picture this Sicily-

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: ... St. Louis and Cleveland, 1990 something.

Kenrya: ’90 something.

Erica: Yeah. 1990 something. Yeah so you go first.

Kenrya: I'll go first. So, I don't know if y'all used to play this game, but we had little game in Cleveland called Hide and Go Get It.

Erica: Hide and Go Freak. That's what y'all called it, Hide and Go Freak? Okay.

Kenrya: And so we use to play it, my sister and I had these friends that lived around the corner and they had older brothers. And so, and they were probably only a couple of years older than us.

Erica: But in your mind, they were grown ass men.

Kenrya: Which eww, but yeah. We used to go and play it. It was one particular house where we always fucking play and we would go down there and they would turn off all the lights and you had a certain amount of time to find a hiding spot. And then all the girls were hiding... It was like three different families that were all there. It was us, it was the people who lived there and then we had another friend who lived up the street and all of those houses had a bunch of kids. And so we would all play at this house. And so for me, I wasn't related to anybody there, but I know the challenge for a lot of them was to not get found by their cousin.

Erica: Find their cousin.

Kenrya: Exactly. But so, the name of the game was to try to get found by the nigga that wanted to find you.

Erica: Oh no, oh no, I fell behind the couch. Oh no.

Kenrya: Yes. So you had to hide, but not hide too well. And then it was pitch black, so you really didn't know what was going to happen. But most of what happened, was a lot of dry humping.

Erica: A lot of dry...

Kenrya: Lot of dry humping.

Erica: Oh my goodness. So I was thinking of a more recent story, but okay. So bam, boom St. Louis folks. Okay. First let's talk about the problem with little kids dry humping.

Kenrya: Yeah, it's problematic. But at least we weren't. I mean-

Erica: I wasn't even talking about like the sexual aspect.

Kenrya: Oh okay.

Erica: I was talking about the-

Kenrya: Weren't doing anything like that wasn't-

Erica: Oh shit, I forgot on my finger. Okay, so anyways.

Kenrya: We weren't doing any of that. It was literally, we were in an age when we were coming into our bodies and learning that it felt good when you rubbed up against them. But no one was doing anything that could either be classified as assault or sex.

Erica: I was talking about is problematic because little kids don't clean themselves properly. Not that they don't clean themselves, but them showers be mad questionable. I was about to tell a story about my son, but I don't need to because... Anyway, nonetheless, they weren't cleaning the best and nine times out of ten, you playing hide and go get it in the summertime.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Everybody been outside all day smelling like outside and suck up some good AC and dry hump behind somebody grandmama rocking chair or next to the deep freezer.

Kenrya: We had fun though.

Erica: Okay, so for me, St. Louis folks, bam boom, okay. Like in most Midwestern cities, roller skating is a thing. Everybody goes roller skating.

Kenrya: Saturdays and Sundays for us.

Erica: In St. Louis, you go to the Palace. Well, you used to, you would go to the Palace on a Friday night and the Palace used to... So it was a skating rink, I think it used to be... Now you're going to have me down a Google rabbit hole.

Erica: Anybody from St. Louis, if y'all listening, shout us out, let me know what y'all know about this. But the palace used to be in a toys... It was one of those big box toys stores. So not quite a Toys ‘R’ Us, but it was a big building. And it looked like a fucking castle.

Kenrya: Like Children's Palace?

Erica: Yeah. Is that a-

Kenrya: It used to be Children's Palace. Children's Palace was a toy store.

Erica: Hold on. I'm about to-

Kenrya: Because we had them when we were kids and it was like a Panda with a red balloon or something, I'm seeing in my head.

Erica: Children's Palace... See, Google tells me Children's Place, I need Children's-

Kenrya: There was definitely a Children's Palace.

Erica: Palace.

Kenrya: It was a toy store.

Erica: Child World, a toy store company which operated a chain of stores titled Children's Palace. They have a Children's Palace in... Yep! Yep!

Kenrya: That's it?

Erica: Yep! Yep! Yep! Yep! It went defunct in 1992.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: And I'm looking at the logo... So if you Google it, it's Child World Inc. But it's Child World Children's Palace. So it used to be a big ass store and it looked... It was like this big ass box store and it had red and white, it looked like a fucking castle.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative) Yep, I remember. Oh, I see it right here. Yep.

Erica: So-They had Peter Panda. So they shut down that and they turned it into a skating rink.

Kenrya: Oh shit.

Erica: So it had a big ass skating rink, but it also had the dance room.

Kenrya: That sound like a champagne room, bitch what? Nobody went skating.

Erica: Nobody went skating. Nobody ever went skating. I will say, I got some of my best dry humping in, at the Palace and at a YMCA/church lock-in.

Kenrya: Yeah, I feel like that's always the thing.

Erica: You're going to learn about the Lord. Uh-huh (affirmative) yeah, uh-huh (affirmative).

Kenrya: When the council going to sleep?

Erica: When we going to bed? So yeah. As a kid, we get so hype on Friday nights to go to the Palace. And now that I'm a parent, I can't stop thinking about what my mom and aunts and family would think when they were dropping our young... Because we were the age of my son now. I don't think it was sixth grade, but it was definitely seventh and eighth grade.

Kenrya: Middle school.

Erica: And we would go on Friday nights and you get dropped off and you want your cousin or your auntie with the best car to drop you off. And we would go and baby, it was... We were just little dirty kids and this was when Menace II Society came out and so would dry hump to "Top of the World."

Kenrya: Top of the world…. [singing]

Erica: Hey boom, boom. Yeah. So we would like, you and I should get together real, real soon. I want to take you somewhere. And if you don't mind the thought of you and I alone. I think you'd enjoy, sit back, relax, let down your hair. [singing]

Kenrya: This bitch remembers all the words.

Erica: I want to take you to the top. Sorry. Okay. You got it. Once you get in the-

Kenrya: Get back into the moment. Yeah.

Erica: You got to stay. Anyway, so yeah. I definitely just can't fuck with, I mean, not can't. I definitely did fuck with lots of dry humping, thankfully to lock-ins and roller-skating rinks. And on one hand, as a parent now, if my son was like, "Hey, let's go drop me off at a roller-skating rink lock-in." I'd be like, "Nah, them little dirty kids over there, dry humping." But then again, as a parent, you're just kind of like...

Kenrya: No, no, I'm sorry. The answer is still no. They would have to get a little older for me to be okay with that.

Erica: I think there is a, there has to be a level of... So all I have to say, I don't want to say this and get my kid taken from me, but I do think that there is learning within play...

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: You know? And so I don't want to...

Kenrya: Take away the exploratory aspect of...

Erica: I want him to go through the exploratory aspect of sex and sexuality, but I don't need him fucking at 12. Does that make sense?

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: And I'm afraid that in these day and times it gets to fucking at 12.

Kenrya: Right. Where for us it took a little longer, at least a little bit, just sometimes.

Erica: Just a smidge more but it took a little bit. And looking back, I probably should have waited, but anyway, so that was one of my dry humping situations at the roller-skating rink and lock-ins, and then speed up just a few years more by this time I was in high school wasn't yet having sex, but I remember I had this little boyfriend?

Kenrya: I'm trying to.

Erica: I was in high school, I had this little boyfriend. We weren't yet having sex, but I remember we would always go over to... You know how there is a house, where their mama just don't give a fuck.

Kenrya: Don't be there.

Erica: Yep, don't be there and don't... My mama wasn't at home, but she was like, "You ain't going to have people in and out of my house." The neighbors would know, so we couldn't just do that shit. This mama didn't give a fuck. So I remember me and my cousin, I would go stay at my cousin's house. She went to the same high school, but she lived in these apartment complexes near the fun apartment complex where everybody lived. So we went over there and I had a little boyfriend and we all sat around watching Higher Learning on VHS. And we went in the bathroom and we was like dry humping, and I was getting fingered, all that stuff. So it's fucked up because every time I hear that song, "Ask of You."

Kenrya: Yeah, "Ask of you" uh-huh (affirmative).

Erica: I think about dry humping in a bathroom in Victorian Village.

Kenrya: Wow. All right.

Erica: So specific.

Kenrya: It's a beautiful song.

Erica: I know. And I'm some little funky kid, get my rocks off, but, you know, dry humping. You and a homie. It worked, there were no pregnancy risks.

Kenrya: I was about to say, we ain't got to worry about coming up pregnant or no shit.

Erica: Yeah. It satisfied my needs.

Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, I remember my first, for real, intentional-

Erica: Let me put on my Lovespell.

Kenrya: Bitch, that was my scent. That good old purple Lovespell. My first serious boyfriend, he lived... So in Cleveland everything is across town. So he lived across, about 30 minutes away from me. He was my cousin's friend and she hooked us up and we were together for, I don't know, maybe a year or two, but we didn't see each other until several months in because...

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: But I did come to find out later that my cousin had showed him a picture of me, but I had never seen this nigga before I met him in person months in, but anyway.

Erica: And also remember... Because I had a boyfriend like that too.

Kenrya: Did you?

Erica: In the sixth grade. We dated, air quotes, for years and we saw each other like twice.

Kenrya: Yep.

Erica: But we were phone boning nonstop.

Kenrya: We would talk on the phone... Constant fucking'ly.

Erica: But you can, let's Zoom, Zap, Zell-

Kenrya: Because we have all of the technology, but we didn't have none of that shit back then. We had a phone with a cord.

Erica: Yeah. He would call... If I wasn't at home, he called me at my granny's house. It was like that. Also me and him are really good friends to this day.

Kenrya: Aww that's cute.

Erica: He sends me Facebook DM's to tell me he's praying for me. He's got a whole bunch of little girls. He's just the sweetest guy.

Kenrya: See, last I heard of this dude I'm going to tell this story about, he shot somebody in a parking lot, but he was protecting his sister so... That's all I know of the story. My sister told me bits and pieces, it was my Cleveland connect.

Erica: Because your sister and my sister are the same. My sister will call me like, "Girl, you remember so-and-so you was dating him. ’Cause I remember he drove X, Y, and Z." And I'm like, girl don't be-

Kenrya: Half of the time I don't even be knowing who the fuck she be talking about.

Erica: I do only because my sister will bring up every receipt, every picture, "Remember you said X, Y, and Z, but y'all really went to tech-" Bitch-

Kenrya: Yes girl.

Erica: Shut up. Okay.

Kenrya: But so me and this dude on our, I think maybe it was our second meeting, I came over when his mama and all his siblings were gone, which was no small feat because it was five of them. And we just dry humped on the couch for like an hour.

Erica: I'd rather dry hump for an hour than fuck for an hour.

Kenrya: Yeah. No music-

Erica: Damn y'all...

Kenrya: Because we had to be able to hear if somebody came home. So we were just-

Erica: I'm sorry.

Kenrya: Only couch, breath sounds, clothes rustling sounds for a solid hour and it was the highlight of my young sexual life.

Erica: I love it.

Kenrya: Thank you, dry humping.

Erica: Thank you, our good friend dry humping. Okay. Well that wraps up this week's-

Kenrya: Mm-mm (negative).

Erica: Oh.

Kenrya: So-

Erica: Shit we still got more. Wait, we do.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Okay, I'm sorry.

Kenrya: It's okay. So fast forward to being an adult and I have seen our good friend, dry humping, abused, I shall say. So-

Erica: Wait, what?

Kenrya: There's this nigga, who-

Erica: Can you write on a sheet of paper and hold it up so I can see what you're talking about?

Kenrya: Who it is?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Tell me, and then I'll cut it out.

Kenrya: So there's nigga that I'm not even really messing with, that's a whole long story, but we'll just say that's back when I was attracted to talent. When that was a thing. And we ended up, I don't know. I think I had been out. So, there's those times, especially when you in your twenties, when you out with the girls and then you drunk and then you texting, so you can figure out where you going to be that's not at home.

Erica: In your twenties? You mean also thirties and forties.

Kenrya: I was married well into my thirties, but yes.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative)

Kenrya: And, so one of those nights I ended up at this dude's house and we had just been flirting and stuff. We had never really done anything, just some intimate conversations and so-

Erica: By intimate conversations, do you mean sexting or phone sex or was it just like, "I'm going to show you the depths of my soul."

Kenrya: It was that because he is a poet.

Erica: Oh okay, because me, when I say intimate conversation, it's like, we ain't fuck yet but you might've seen my pussy texted it to you.

Kenrya: Yeah. No, you know that ain't me. And this was back before shit... I don't even think picture phones were like a common thing.

Erica: You might've had your Nextel.

Kenrya: I think I did have-

Erica: Y'all Kenrya had a Nextel for like 20 years.

Kenrya: Okay. I didn't have the bar Nextel. I had to joint that you slid the screen up on, I think by that time, but you couldn't take pictures with that, they was grainy as fuck.

Erica: Yeah, uh-huh (affirmative).

Kenrya: It's like-

Erica: Whatever, that is a human figure.

Kenrya: And so I get there and there's candles leading from the door to the, whatever the fuck. It was pretty. But so then-

Erica: Wait, he did all that shit to dry hump?

Kenrya: Yes, bitch. So we starting and it's foreplay, but it's pretty dry humpy. And I'm like, "Okay, this is cool." Now mind you, I was probably maybe 26, I think was about 26. And he was, I don't know, probably in his early thirties, so okay. So there's dry humping and then there's... So there's this movie where they talk about fake chow. Do you ever-

Erica: Fake chow?

Kenrya: So fake chow is that thing where you pretend to eat somebody out.

Erica: I've never heard of fake chow.

Kenrya: It was like a whole bunch of fingers and kissing, but there was no actual eating. I was like, "What is this nigga doing?"

Erica: Wait, but does his face get in your pussy, does his face get wet with your pussy?

Kenrya: [crosstalk 00:19:38] I don't think so. Again, it's dark except for candles. This is an interesting story.

Erica: Wait, wait, wait.

Kenrya: When I get to the punchline, you're going to be like, "Oh..."

Erica: So fake chow...

Kenrya: Fake chow, I realized later when I watched this, some fucking movie, and they were like, " So you gave her a fake chow?" And I was like, "Oh, that's what he did."

Erica: Oh my God. Like, I'd like to... Look, I need to see the tongue hit the clit.

Kenrya: It was so dark and there were just candles.

Erica: Oh my God, I'm sorry, keep going.

Kenrya: Literally, he had the door cracked when I got there and then a line of candles to the bedroom.

Erica: Wait, so okay. Also let's rewind.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: You was out with your girls, drunk?

Kenrya: Yes. Yes.

Erica: Hey, I'm coming through.

Kenrya: Yep, in a black car, get dropped off, have never been to this place before, find my way-

Erica: And in this time you got this drunk call to his house, he has set up candles and an ambiance.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Continue.

Kenrya: Because poets.

Erica: Yeah, continue.

Kenrya: Yes. So, there's what I now realize is fake chow and there's lots of dry humping and then there's oh oh oh oh oh oh and I'm like, "The fuck is that?" He's like, "I came." So in his, whatever the fuck he had on, while we were dry humping. So...

Erica: I'm sorry y'all, I'm so loud.

Kenrya: So I'm like, "Okay..." We finish up and clean up and I leave and I go home. So fast forward to-

Erica: So, what's it like, "Oh, I usually don't do this."

Kenrya: No.

Erica: Or it was just a, "We're done, thank you."

Kenrya: It was like a, "I came." And I was so, confused.

Erica: Because I get it. The thing is sometimes you might not have it in you. So if the fake chow was real chow, then maybe I'd be like-

Kenrya: It was not real chow, I did not come.

Erica: Okay. All right. Keep going. So you get home...

Kenrya: So yeah I get home, whatever. Fast forward, I don't know, maybe a week, we're talking and I'm still young and dumb and kind of made me want to do it again, but actually have sex because reality is, we didn't really have sex, right? Like there was no actual oral. There was definitely no penetration. And he's like, "Well, you know..." What?

Erica: Continue the story and I'll ask later.

Kenrya: Okay. He reveals...

Erica: What?

Kenrya: That he has a girlfriend.

Erica: So that was his like, "I didn't actually cheat. I just..."

Kenrya: "I didn't fuck her." Yeah. This was... I realize in hindsight, when he told me, that the fake chow, the dry humping until he came was his way of being able to get off without having to-

Erica: Nigga you should've just masturbated.

Kenrya: ... without having to actually say that he had sex with somebody else.

Erica: If I were-

Kenrya: Abusing our good friend, dry humping,

Erica: If I was dry humping, I would've smacked that nigga in the face. Because it's like, you used me for nothing.

Kenrya: Yeah. Like to no fucking end. And obviously once he told me that it was over. So, that was the end of that.

Erica: Also, if I was his girlfriend, I would be like, you went through all of this to not cheat, to like have a little loophole of not cheating, like no don't even cause even more than like the infidelity of like our relationship. It is like, you worked so hard to exploit this one loophole. You're fucking disgusting.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Okay. So I should ask this question first, because now it's like the punchline, just, eh.

Kenrya: Yeah, told you.

Erica: So, if you didn't know about the girlfriend and you said young and dumb, how the situation went down, candles, dry humping, fake chow, tofu chow we'll call it. Tofu, puss is fake puss. So dry humping, candles, tofu pussy, would you have gone back?

Kenrya: Yep, because I was young and dumb.

Erica: Well, no. If the now Kenrya was in that situation, would you go back if he had, had a conversation about it?

Kenrya: About what? About coming in his pants?

Erica: Yeah. Like, "Aw man. I was really excited."

Kenrya: Oh sure, things happen.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: He will only get one of those and-

Erica: The fact that he didn't say shit, makes it like-

Kenrya: Well, but then also, all right. That's cool. Now you need to make me come. It's ain't over now. We not pulling up our-

Erica: Ain't nobody said you can go yet.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: You got work to do.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Oh my gosh. Okay, well dry humping, our good friend DH.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Darrell.

Kenrya: No.

Erica: Huge abode.

Kenrya: Nope.

Erica: I'm trying to come up with... No. Our good friend, dry humping, we are sorry that you were abused in that situation.

Kenrya: We are really, truly.

Erica: That person was a bitch ass motherfucker to pull you out, you in your bed asleep, enjoying a quiet night and pull you out so that he could rub his dick against his boxers, so that he could technically tell his girlfriend that he didn't cheat on her.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Bitch asses. Okay. The theme of that story is niggas going to nig.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: All right. Well that wraps up this week's quickie.

Kenrya: Thanks for joining us.

Erica: Thank you. I'm so upset. It's fucking abusing my home boy. He don't even get enough play as adults and then when adults do pull them out, they just play him like that.

Kenrya: On some bullshit.

Erica: Fuck that. Okay. This is Erica and Kenrya, two hoes, making it clap. Dink.

Kenrya: Bitch. Whatever.

[theme music]

Erica: This episode was produced by us, Erica and Kenrya and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and Get Off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app. Then drop us a five-star review and you'll be entered to win something. That's turning us on. Post your review and email a screenshot to us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and access lots of goodies, including two-for-one raffle entries. Don't forget to send us your book recommendations and sex end related questions. And follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you soon. Holla.