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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read from Nicole Falls' "F*ck and Fall in Love: A Novella" and talk about unexpected relationship milestones and having sex on camera.
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Kenrya: Come here, get off.
Erica: So welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On.
Kenrya: That was fancy.
Erica: Yeah, I'm trying to be fancy. Okay, so this week we are reading a story called “F*ck and Fall in Love,” which was written by Nicole Falls and published in 2019. So sit back, relax, get your wine, your weed, whatever you need and enjoy.
Kenrya: “F*ck and Fall in Love,” by Nicole Falls. "So no judgment, yeah?" "Baby, I just told you about my creampie obsession." "Who am I to judge anything you've got to share? Unless you into some real depraved shit like scat. Wait, you ain't into…," he trailed of. "Ugh God, no Nigel," I shrieked, slapping him across the chest. "Why would you think?" "Hey, this is still pretty new sweetheart. Who knows what skeletons you hide in your freak chifforobe." "Did you just say chifforobe? Stay focused J baby, what are your categories?" I motioned for him to hand over the iPad.
Kenrya: "Well, first of all I'm super mad that I've been suffering through so much pink penis only to discover that there's a whole treasure trove of Black on Black goodness that I don't have to filter to high heaven to find something to get me off. Wow, a whole new world opened up before my eyes.” "Well, actually it's an aggregator, so a lot of the videos you know and love are probably over on TV as well." "Okay, so I really don't have categories as much as pointed search times. I have amassed a few favorites that I fall back on." "You're procrastinating with all this talking, baby. Just pull up a flick," Nigel muttered into my neck before pressing a series of lingering kisses there. "Or we could just go make one ourselves," I said, angling my neck so that he had better access.
Kenrya: He stopped suddenly, pulling back and looking at me. "Word?" I bit my lower lip, nodding. It was something I had been thinking about for a while actually. Nigel had a way of making me feel like I was the hottest bitch in the world whenever he laid hands on me because I know how good I felt when we were being intimate. I wanted to see if I looked as good as I felt too. "Oh, brazen Jane is back in the building, ladies and gentlemen, " Nigel crowed. "Oh my gosh, shut up before I change my mind." "Too late sweetheart," he says, snatching me up from the couch and throwing me over his shoulder. I dropped the iPad on the couch so I could hold onto him, and he moved us through his apartment to his bedroom, located in the lofted area of his apartment.
Kenrya: His place was gorgeous, airy and spacious in an old building converted from a factory to lofts. Tons of exposed brick and metal accents all over the place as the integrity of the original structure was left almost completely unmolested upon conversion. When we made it to his bed and he laid me out, I looked over to see his camera already poised on a tripod on his dresser. "You uh clairvoyant or something?" I giggled, nodding toward the camera. Nigel chuckled. "You know what they say. Stay ready so you don't got to get ready." "Seriously?" I asked, sitting up from my previously reclined position. Nigel leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "No, crazy girl. I was recording some footage of this system I'm building over there for my YouTube channel." "Mm-hmm. Whatever you say. I've got my eye on you," I laughed.
Kenrya: "Got your eye on me, but you the one over here with your press record now that you're filming on your video phone energy." "Did you just quote a Beyonce song? Stop trying to stall and get naked girl." I laughed, shaking my head. "You want me naked, you've got to take these clothes off me." Clothes was an overstatement as I was clad in what had become sort of my uniform while at Nigel's place. One of his t-shirts with nothing underneath, and a pair of his socks pulled damn near to my thighs because he kept his place freezing cold. "That ain't no problem at all," Nigel said, a sly smirk curve in his mouth. "Let me just...." He moved the camera from his perch on his dresser to the other side of the room onto his desk where he would have a panoramic view of his bed.
Kenrya: He adjusted a few settings, all the while teasing me about how he was going to tear my ass up so it'll look good on playback. I playfully flirted back, trying to fight through the nerves that appeared now that this wasn't just an abstract idea but was actually happening. When he finally had the camera situated to his liking, he dropped the ball shorts he was wearing and strolled over to the bed, beautifully nude. Nigel was a big dude, built like a former defensive end, tall and super thick, but not overly muscular. As the scant sunlight streamed through his blinds, illuminating his body as he strolled over to me, I sent a quick prayer of thanks for this physical manifestation of a dream I didn't even know I wanted coming true.
Kenrya: Those previous nerves dissipated as soon as he was in arms reach. I crawled to the end of the bed to meet him and before he could place a limb on the bed to join me, my mouth was on him, taking his dick as far down my throat as it could go. "Goddamn, Jane," Nigel moaned. I pulled back slowly, lightly grazing his shaft with my teeth as I withdrew him from my mouth. Looking directly into his eyes, I swirled the tip of my tongue around the head of his dick slowly before deep throating him again and going to work. He soon caught the rhythm of my bobs, thrusting his hips forward in time with the movement of my mouth.
Kenrya: My hands were braced around his thighs and I could feel the muscles tightening, signaling he was close to release, when he suddenly yanked me off of his dick by my hair, grumbling something about not going out like a sucker on film. In what seemed like a nanosecond, he stripped me completely bare and buried his face between my legs, his tongue moving like he was seeking buried treasure in my pussy. I tried moving out of his grasp. The prolonged flickering of his tongue against my pearl sparking too much pleasure for me to bear. But that only caused him to go harder. "Don't run from it," he crooned, removing his mouth from my pussy and replacing it with his fingers.
Kenrya: "You asked for this, didn't you." He didn't give me a change to answer. Pressing his mouth to mine, swallowing any words of rebuttal would have tried to form. His fingers working back up to fever pitch, moving in and out of my slit at a maddeningly slow pace as his thumb circled my clit barely there swipes. "Ssss," I hissed when he finally disconnected our mouths to catch a breath. "What's that, baby?” he asked, increasing the speed of his pistoning fingers. My mouth hung open, but no sound admitted as I gasped at the sensation of his fingers inside of my core, driving me out of my mind.
Kenrya: He added a third finger and stroked slightly deeper, which was all I needed to completely send me over the edge. I came with a sharp cry, arching from the bed like I had been jolted by electricity. My reaching the summit didn't phase Nigel even one bit as he kept on stroking me with his fingers, setting off after shocks before urging me up onto my knees. A firm hand on my upper back guided me to lower myself to my elbows while keeping my ass lifted up in the air. "Don't move," Nigel growled. The gruffness in his tone incited another round of shivers to pass through my body.
Kenrya: After a few moments of no movement from Nigel, I chanced to look back and was met with a firm smack to my ass. The dual sensations of pleasure and pain drew a low groan from me as I thrust my ass backward even further, hoping that this movement brought forth another one of those deliciously painful smacks. Nigel chuckled instead. "Oh, that's your shit, huh? Noted," he said, urging me back into the position he'd initially put me in and quickly sliding his dick deep inside of me. He dicked me down ferociously, unrepentantly driving into me with breath robbing strokes at a breakneck speed.
Kenrya: Each thrust sent his balls flying upwards slapping against my clit, adding to the already overwhelming onslaught of pleasure I was experiencing. Soon, my arms gave out, but that didn't deter Nigel as his grip on my hips tightened and he slowed the measure of his strokes. Something about this coupling felt different, more intense, more intimate. Nigel switched our positions once again, without withdrawing from deep within me. As he guided me to lay on my left side and hooked an arm under my right thigh, I looked down greedily enjoying the view of his dick sliding in and out of the mess of wetness between my thighs.
Kenrya: It was at this point that I realized why it felt so different was because he hadn't put on a condom, but I was too far gone to even give a damn at this point. The change in position gave me a bit of leverage as I contracted around him with each stroke, making his withdrawal from my body more arduous each time as he dove back in. Those contractions soon drove him to the brink and he whispered in my ear on a guttural groan that he was about to come. I whispered back to him words I hadn't ever uttered to a man. "I want to feel you come inside me," I moaned, tightening my pelvic muscles once again. The combination of those words and that action were the magic that unlocked his orgasm. With one last powerful thrust into my core, Nigel came inside of me with a ragged groan, setting off another orgasm for me.
Kenrya: As I quiver my way through release, Nigel released the hold he had on my leg but stayed inside of me. Pressing a kiss to my shoulder blade that sent a shiver through me, Nigel whispered in my ear, "I cannot wait to watch this back, babe. We might win an AVN for this shit." I couldn't help but giggle at his silly ass. "Something is wrong with you." "Or," he started, pressing another of those gentle kisses to my shoulder before sliding out of me, "Is everything right, baby?"
Erica: Okay so welcome back. That was a good little romp, as Killa would say.
Kenrya: Yes, yes it was.
Erica: So let me give you a little synopsis on the story. So the story starts with Jane, and she works... I want to say in California or something. She's like west coasting. Yeah, mark buster.
Kenrya: Here we go.
Erica: Sorry, I always... So Jane lives and work in the west coast, but ended up on a project that has her going to New York quarterly. Her first trip to New York, she's staying at a hotel. She initially wasn't going to stay... You know how you travel and you make it a, let's turn this travel trip into a little weekend. That's what she did. So initially she wasn't going to. She ended up doing that. While at her hotel, she kind of meets people... Not meets... Yeah, so she meets people. So she meets the bartender, runs into the bouncer, that kind of thing. So this story is quarterly where she's constantly coming back to New York every quarter.
Kenrya: Which is a really cute premise. I like that.
Kenrya: It's a novella, which is dope.
Erica: Yes, we love a good novella because it gets you the story, in and out, good and quick. So Jane is at the hotel and she meets Nigel, who's a bouncer. Initially, it was just a, “Ooh hey, you kind of cute. Come down to my room.” But then it turns into something more, dot, dot, dot. The scene that we picked was the scene of them discussing their porn categories.
Erica: And deciding to make their own movie.
Kenrya: I think this is their third quarter.
Erica: Yeah, this is their third quarter. First quarter is in the hotel, second quarter is hotel. Hey, let's turn this into something more. Third quarter is, okay, this is something more. We're just going to lock it down. Before we get into the porn categories and the porn itself, you know what I liked about this story?
Erica: So a lot of times, you meet niggas that are really got dope dick, but all this nigga do is a bouncer and he smokes weed Monday through Thursday.
Erica: Yeah, the thot niggas. But this story had a cute little work around. Yes, he's like a friend of the owner of the hotel and they meet.
Kenrya: Yes, he's doing this as a favor.
Erica: Yeah. It's so much more than just a little thot. He actually had a lot going on. Hence, how he was able to record so quickly. One of his little side gigs is doing YouTube videos about-
Erica:... something heavy.
Erica: Okay, so what stood out the most to me about this story initially, well about this scene, was how they were talking about porn categories.
Kenrya: Yeah, because even before the part that we read, he's showing his porn categories. They're on a Black porn site, and she's memorized that there's a spot with all this non pink dick, which I thought was really funny because ugh, gross.
Erica: Yeah. Did I ask you this? Have you ever shared your porn categories with your partners?
Kenrya: I have, only with my current partner. I have never felt safe enough to do that.
Erica: I feel like porn categories is the equivalent of asking white people who did you vote for.
Erica: It's so... because part of what makes porn and... At least for me, part of what makes porn and sex exciting is sometimes it's dirty. So you're going to... The things that I like in my porn are not things that I would normally like as-
Kenrya: Right, it's not what you want to do.
Erica: I'm too ethical. I'm too committed. I'm too ethical. I don't want to be called this. But something about getting choked and being called a stanky bitch... well, not a stanky bitch.
Kenrya: I like that.
Erica: You know, it makes it that much greater. So to open up about, hey I like this-
Kenrya: That's a big deal. That's some intimacy.
Kenrya: Yeah, which is why I hope you're not about to ask me about my categories on this show.
Erica: Oh my God, no. Not at all, because then I'd have to share.
Erica: I was watching-
Kenrya: That private.
Erica: In was on Twitter and this woman was saying how some guy was like, "Oh, you think your girlfriend is the sweetest, but if you really saw her porn search categories, you'd freak out." So then this woman replied and she said... She was sharing her laptop with her boyfriend or something and opened it up, and it was like a gay gang bang cumdump or something.
Kenrya: On his computer or on hers?
Erica: On his computer.
Kenrya: Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that.
Erica: She was just like, well. But it is totally one of those things where that is my deepest darkest.
Kenrya: Yeah, you like what you like.
Erica: Because the thing is there are categories, and the categories that I do go to are not so specific where there's nothing there. There's three people that do it because it's so-
Erica: Yeah. It's not that. It's not that curated, however it just still feels very... because I feel like also your categories probably give you a glimpse of the psyche of the person that they're that.
Kenrya: I mean, maybe.
Erica: Because it's kind of like, if I am someone that likes restraints, I'll keep it vanilla because it gets kind of dark. But if I'm someone that likes restraints, it probably says a little bit more about how being confined turns me on and that kind of thing. So I think about the categories that I tend to go to. To me, again, a lot of those categories are like, ooh, this is so dirty and taboo. Yeah, girl.
Kenrya: Have you ever shared them with anyone?
Erica: One partner, and that's because we have... this is the one partner that I feel like I have the freest sex with, because it's very, very non-judgmental.
Kenrya: I was about to say, you felt like you wouldn't be judged because of the relationship that y'all have.
Erica: Yeah, we both definitely have a... I think that's why I enjoy the sex with this person so much, because it is no judgment, what we going to do to have fun and enjoy one another.
Kenrya: That's dope. That's how it should be, but I can definitely say that I haven't had that before now for sure, which is what you need to share that shit.
Erica: Yeah. I think I have. Interestingly enough, they have never been in relationships. They have just been in fuck buddies.
Kenrya: Well, is part of that because you care a little bit less about what they thought about you because you were just fucking?
Erica: Yeah. Shit, I've got to get over that because I would like to have that in a relationship. But yeah, I think it's... I think my current partner that I... Let me not let this nigga get a big head. I don't think he's listening. But the current partner that I have, a really good healthy... we do it all. Actually, two partners. I do have two partners right now that it's like healthy, good, do it all. Both of which I wouldn't mind having a relationship with, but I also think that a committed long-term relationship with. But I think also a lot of it is because I'm a lot healthier, so I went into picking fuck buddies that, if turned into something, they would still be healthy relationships.
Kenrya: Makes sense.
Erica: Yeah, so I share with them... I would have no problem sharing with them my categories and be like, "Hey, let me turn you onto something."
Kenrya: See, I'm more like Jane. It's less categories and more pointed search terms.
Erica: I'm looking for this right now.
Kenrya: Yeah, because categories are so broad and I really have to filter out white people.
Erica: So question. We started this... The origin story for this podcast was for us to find something written to flick the bean. Do you... So are you an 80/20 kind of person? What's your written versus...?
Kenrya: Probably 70/30 written, maybe more. I really do prefer to read it. I like creating the pictures in my head.
Kenrya: Because they can do exactly what I want them to do. Well, again, I don't read... If it's white people, I don't read it. I'm not interested.
Erica: You can tell if a white person is writing about a Black person.
Kenrya: Yeah, because even if you're reading it, they're talking about fucking pink nipple. I don't know why their nipple is pink. I don't fucking know.
Erica: I've found that, when white people write about Black bodies, it's more a he's a tall Black guy, as opposed to Black person writing about Black bodies.
Kenrya: There's no nuance.
Erica: They're giving you all the... I want to know the shade. Is it a dark raspberry? Is it a purple? That kind of thing.
Kenrya: Yeah. I have zero desire to read white people writing about Black bodies or white people writing about white bodies. That's not for me. So the stuff that we do on the show, those are things that I use in my personal life. Also, way trashier stuff that may not always... Because we read a lot of books before we decide what gets on the show. Sometimes we get halfway through and something will happen. We'll be like, fuck. Can't use this on the show, but I can get off on this scene that happened before this trash scene.
Erica: We're like, well it was good for something.
Kenrya: Yeah. So I really do prefer to read over to watch. Plus, I don't know, the watching for me, it starts to get repetitive or just when they're really getting into a particular position, now this nigga want to do something else and now they've got to move. You know. I'm just like, all right, that's fine.
Erica: Yeah, I definitely before this started was like 100% visual kind of gal, but doing this project I have become a little bit more written. I think I'm more of an 80/20 kind of gal now. It usually comes just with me doing the work of the podcast and trying to find a book.
Kenrya: You were like, mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Well, I'm here. Might as well.
Kenrya: Where's your room at.
Erica: Might as well get started. Yeah, I definitely have... I'm becoming definitely not a 70/30 gal yet, but I am making my way towards using the written form of eroticism, erotic works.
Erica: Welcome. There are refreshments in the back.
Kenrya: It's fun. I like creating pictures in my head. Did you read... Remember on Twitter. I was a few weeks ago. Shit, time is a concept of the construct at this point.
Kenrya: I don't know how long ago it was where people were talking about how there are people who can't create images in their heads. Did you see that?
Kenrya: Yeah, so apparently for me, if I think about something, I can see it. Literally, right now I'm thinking about a tree with a shining red apple, and that apple is candied and it’s got... I can see it. But there are people who, when they read or hear words, they don't see a picture of them in their minds.
Kenrya: Yeah. I forget what it's called.
Erica: That would make doing this very difficult.
Kenrya: Exactly, because they wouldn't-
Erica: It's literally just words coming in and out of your brain.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Ooh, just that itself makes me think, dig a little deeper in my reading. For example, remember we were... In doing work for the podcast and reading and learning about some of the... trying to find a source guest for the show. You had me reading a very, very, very dense work.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Erica: Oh my God, I felt like I was in college again trying to read this essay. That's what I felt. I felt like I was literally just reading words on a sheet of paper.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: I had to read it two, three times. I'd read it, and then they'd be words on a paper. Then I'd read it again and they'd come together a little bit. Then I'd read it again and be like, "Oh, I got the concept."
Erica: It has definitely been a stretch on some of these, more on the interview side of it just trying to make sure that we know.
Kenrya: The ins and outs of the folk's work.
Erica: Exactly. But yeah, I could not imagine there's an apple on a tree and not being able to see an apple.
Kenrya: See it in your head. I just looked it up. Apparently it's called aphantasia. I'm probably mispronouncing it, but it's spelled A-P-H-A-N-T-A-S-I-A. It says, in this condition, people are unable to visualize mental images.
Erica: Man, that sucks.
Kenrya: Yeah. Wow, that is... If this is you... If you are listening and you are one of those people, hit us up. It would be really interesting to talk to you about-
Erica: Not just sex, but just if someone's talking about good macaroni and cheese.
Kenrya: Yes, but I'm also interested in how it impacts their sex. One of the things that I have found myself doing in the past... I don't actually have to do it so much anymore, but-
Erica: Sex is bad and calling back?
Erica: You got to go through the Rolodex.
Kenrya: Exactly. I'd be interested in how this impacts the ways that they get off.
Kenrya: I think that's dope. We all-
Erica: We all have a workaround.
Kenrya:... approach the world in different... exactly.
Erica: How's your work around? Yeah, I know. Okay. Aphantasia-matics, hit us up.
Kenrya: Yeah, matics.
Erica: Okay, so we've talked about this. We've touched around it. I know you have your concerns about being recorded and your pictures and all of that.
Kenrya: Yeah, don't love it.
Erica: But have you ever-
Erica: So we have the... I did pictures and got them, not recorded, got them printed.
Kenrya: Oh yeah, I don't think we've aired that yet, but yeah.
Kenrya: That happened. Yeah, with an ex, we recorded a video. That was actually at a pretty good angle. It looked good, which I was surprised at, because I think part of why the video thing freaks me out is that I don't want to feel like this looks good and then see it on camera and then nitpick my body or any of the things that I'm seeing that honestly don't even occur to me when I'm in the middle of sex, because you can't tell me I'm not the baddest bitch that there ever was when I'm in the middle.
Erica: That ever did it.
Kenrya: Exactly. But something about the... A video is almost like a fucking debrief.
Erica: Yeah, you're like, ooh my gut do that? I shake that way?
Kenrya: Exactly. I'm not sure if I want to see that. But I remember that video. I don't have it anymore. I had it saved in a vault, and then when I switched my phone, I lost the vault, and I was the only person who had it saved because we shot it on my phone and saved it in my vault.
Kenrya: But I remember that whatever angle we figured out how to shoot if from actually looked really good. But something that was my one time. I would watch it when I masturbated sometimes because, yeah, why not.
Erica: See, I like amateur porn. That's one of my categories. So I am less about if I look good and just like, ooh bitch, you really having a good ass time.
Erica: But yeah, I agree. I remember the first time I recorded myself. It was definitely on some "Like, really?" It ain't feel like this. It look this way, but it don't feel this way.
Erica: Even with that said, I really enjoy recording myself.
Kenrya: What do you like about it?
Erica: I feel like there's power and just like, this is a bad bitch doing bad bitch things. But yeah, I think the power and the prowess is what I enjoy about it. Look at that bitch. She know her way around a dick.
Kenrya: So do you always watch them back?
Erica: Not always. Sometimes it's just to be doing it, or like, ooh pull out your phone and them niggas get like, whoa. You're just like, "Pull out my phone." But also, to me... Again, if somebody sent me an email saying we got a sex tape on you, I'd be like, well-
Kenrya: So do I bitch.
Erica: Let me release mine first.
Erica: You know I got the primo content.
Kenrya: Yeah, same actually. We all have sex. It's not that big a deal.
Erica: Exactly. So yeah, I definitely have no problem busting it open on camera. Not to say that I want my family and friends to see it, but if they did it'd be like, all right, now you going to see me bust it open on camera.
Kenrya: When you do watch them back, do you watch them back with your partners?
Erica: Sometimes. Sometimes it's just so that I can reminisce and flick the bean a little bit more. I've been using flick the bean a lot lately. But yeah, sometimes it's just to masturbate to, but sometimes it is to be like, whoa, that was a wild night. Some of my partners have old film, old video. They'll send it to me and be like, "Girl, remember this night?" We'll be reminiscing like, whoa wild times, this was great.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: So yeah, but I definitely have no problem doing it. I think also because our origin stories were very different. I feel like your first time into the amateur market was a little more traumatic.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Erica: Where mine was more like powerful. So I think that that's kind of imprinted itself on me and you and how we approach ourselves.
Kenrya: Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. Yeah. I will say it's not something that I am afraid of, at least not in terms of people violating my trust or anything at this point. One, because obviously I'm with somebody who I trust.
Erica: Yeah, I was about to say it's probably because you're also in a very healthy relationship.
Kenrya: Yeah, and also just a little bit less giving a fuck. In terms of, like you said, if something were to get out, I talk about how I'm a whole ass woman. Well-
Erica: Well, there's a whole ass that likes to do things.
Kenrya: Yeah. Again, it would be more like my kids got to deal with that or... I don't want my daddy to see, more so than I would be ashamed or whatever the fuck.
Erica: Yeah. See the thing about my kid has to deal with that would assume that my shit made a splash.
Erica: It's a drop in a bucket to be quite honest. It's not like somebody going to be approaching my kid on the street and be like, "Your momma got a sex tape." Because if-
Kenrya: But you know my child Googles me from time to time.
Erica: Oh Lord, sweet Jesus.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). The first time she did it, she was at school. Came to pick her up and she was like, "Momma, did you know you're all over Google?"
Erica: Oh God.
Kenrya: Then she starts showing me what she found and she's been pulling photos from old articles and making them her wallpaper on her Chromebook.
Erica: Oh my gosh.
Kenrya: This is what happens when you give kids technology.
Erica: Oh my gosh, okay.
Kenrya: She's only eight.
Erica: Oh my gosh. Now that is one thing.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Okay, I didn't think about it in that regard.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). She thinks it's cool that I'm on Google, meanwhile my father thinks it's creepy.
Erica: Because your daddy is old and Black.
Erica: He thinks the-
Kenrya: He hates it.
Erica: He thinks that the mailman is going to sell your address to the people.
Kenrya: He's very concerned.
Erica: Okay, so now that we're talking about porn, I think it's important for us to kind of touch on the problems around it, some of the issues that come with it. I know that there's lots of... I've seen lots of articles and lots of talk about how Porn Hub and some of the other sites are a little less... because they've sourced from anybody, anybody can post anything, there's an issue of just-
Kenrya: Revenge porn.
Erica: Revenge porn, nonconsensual porn going up, and that kind of thing. Do you think about that when consuming your porn?
Kenrya: I didn't honestly until we were talking on a show earlier this season where you were saying that you've started buying your porn directly from content creators.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: Because you were worried about that, which I thought was really interesting and smart and thoughtful.
Erica: Yeah. I think I might have mentioned it then, but I was listening to content creators talk about how essentially stealing porn from content creators is a form of just-
Kenrya: It's literally theft.
Erica: Yeah, it's theft. This is stuff that they put out for paying people, and here you are stealing it. I think that going directly to content creators for your porn puts a lot more control back in what you're consuming. I was reading... I've been reading a lot about how some of the sites, like Only Fans and My Vids, one, they take a cut off the top of what's being creative, but two, they do things like... They've done things like... So with Only Fans, you have an account and you have subscribers. Then the money gets banked, and then you have to cash out.
Erica: We talked about this. Actually we talk about this in the next episode with Mistress Dominique, how sometimes there's backlash, particularly to Black and brown content creators. So I've heard stories about girls having $15,000 in their account and then all of the sudden there's a glitch and, for whatever reason, they can't get their money out.
Kenrya: Cost of set stuff really contributes so that too where you have these other platforms that are denying people access to their money.
Erica: Yes. So something else that I've learned about is, if you have a content creator that you really like, just hit them up. Most content creators, most sex workers, they are all over Twitter. Instagram is a little more difficult to do your thing on, but most of them are on Twitter. I laugh because I can never get on my Twitter account on Tuesdays, because it's Titty Tuesdays and I follow someone that does an amazing job.
Kenrya: Of retweeting other people, right?
Erica: Of retweeting everybody. So I open up my phone on Tuesdays and it's literally like titties.
Erica: But reach out to your favorite content creator and say, hey, can you do a video for me?
Kenrya: Or support their Patreon, which a lot of times will unlock videos that you can't get anywhere else and you're paying for them directly as well.
Erica: Exactly. So the Patreon, they have a little more restrictions.
Kenrya: Right, but don't people oftentimes... If you subscribe, then they can send you content via other means. It's just you are a member.
Erica: You're right, you're right.
Kenrya: I think that's... Going back to your original question, I think that's also part of why I don't always do amateur porn.
Kenrya: Because I don't know what it came from.
Erica: Because you don't know where it came from.
Erica: Yeah, you're right, you're right. So yeah, just not saying completely give up on Porn Hub or whatever, but just as you think about and consume your porn, think about how can we be a little bit more ethical in just looking out for the people, because again, sex work is work. We will begin with that.
Kenrya: That's right.
Erica: But sex workers always get the shitty end of the stick.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Especially Black ones.
Erica: Especially Black ones.
Kenrya: And especially trans ones.
Erica: Especially trans ones.
Erica: So just something to think about as we go consuming our porn and our delights is ethical and health members and people that stick up for and advocate for sex workers.
Kenrya: That's dope. I have a question for you.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative)?
Kenrya: Do you have any tips for shooting videos of yourself or even just pictures?
Erica: So one thing that I've learned when taking photos, oil is your fucking friend. Grease your body up and that shit always look good. Yes, there's always the... Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Get in the right mindset. But girl, a good angle and some body oil will have your ass looking like a fucking pro. Right before my mastectomy, I took so many pictures of my titties. A lot of times, the best ones came out because I just had a bomb angle and some oil. Also, shooting from a low angle. A lot of times I don't have my face in the pictures, so I don't have to worry about my neck giblets, but shooting from a lower angle gives the person that's taking the photo the illusion of them being on their knees.
Erica: Same with shooting from a high angle. So just think about angles and then oil, bitch, oil. Body oil.
Kenrya: Like baby oil?
Erica: I use grape seed oil.
Erica: Well yeah, baby seed.
Kenrya: Baby seed?
Erica: Baby seed oil.
Kenrya: That's another kind of oil.
Erica: But yeah, I use grape seed oil, but baby oil, I just don't keep baby oil around. But yeah, bitch, body oil. Yeah, then also look at stuff for your own inspiration.
Erica: Yeah, get inspiration from other places and be creative with shit. They have face tuner or body tuner if that's what you want. I don't know the app. If that's what you want to do, great, but also hide some shit with an emoji or put a little sparkle filter on it. Whatever makes you feel happy. But also, especially going through breast cancer, I realized that your body can change in an instant. So I also like the idea of just being able to record it.
Kenrya: Oh, like documenting it, yeah.
Erica: Yeah, because we talked about this all the time. I think about how... I look at pictures and, in that picture, I remember myself being in the mid frame, "Oh my God, my body is so horrible right now." But looking back now, I'm like, I would give my left arm for that body.
Kenrya: Yeah. I can't say that I've ever really been happy when my body when I was in it. It's always in hindsight.
Erica: Yeah, so let's try to slow down and appreciate our bodies while we are in it. To me, taking pictures of it... Also, when I'm not feeling great about my body, I like taking pictures because it gives me a, huh, it ain't that bad. Look at that.
Kenrya: Some perspective.
Erica: Yeah. Yep, so that's all I've got, Killa.
Kenrya: That's great. I'm going to use that. You know I sometimes struggle with body image stuff and I feel like maybe I'm going to make a project out of taking pictures of myself since I'm stuck in a house.
Erica: Yes please. Yes please.
Kenrya: I'm going to get some of that... Remember, have you ever used that Neutrogena Rain Bath stuff?
Kenrya: I like that shit. I haven't had it in years and I have no reason to buy it, but now I'm going to buy some.
Erica: Girl. Don't kill yourself trying to get out of the tub.
Kenrya: I know.
Erica: But yeah, even just that, a nice picture with the wet beads and the oil. Yeah, and get creative with clothes around the house, like pair of boy shorts, your man’s boxers, or them drawers that are just a little bit tight.
Kenrya: I know, I steal those.
Erica: Yeah, exactly.
Kenrya: Thank you. That's a great idea.
Erica: You're welcome. You're welcome. So, we've been around the porn berry bush, so this wraps up this week's episode of The Turn On. Thank you for joining us and this is Erica and Killa, two hoes making a clap.
Kenrya: Making a clap.
Erica: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. We want to hear from y'all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions that you want us to answer to TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com, and please subscribe to this show on your favorite podcast app. Follow us on Twitter at The Turn on Pod and Instagram at The Turn On Podcast, and find links to books, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. And remember, The Turn On Podcast is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more podcasts that you'll love at Frolic.media/podcast. Thanks for joining us and we'll see you soon. Bye.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.