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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to writer Taiia Smart Young about unusual (and fantastic!) names, scheduling sex, realizing that you don't actually want what you thought you wanted, and staying in touch with your body body during a pandemic.
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Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Kenrya: Today we're talking to Taiia Smart Young, pronouns she and her. Taiia is a writer, educator, author, and digital content creator. She teaches aspiring authors how to package their genius to write and self-publish short but powerful nonfiction books that create influence, impact, and income. Yes, income.
Taiia: Sounds good. We always like income.
Kenrya: Yes. That's right. Because ain't nobody trying to work for free. She's been a longtime partner-
Erica: Especially Black women, sorry.
Kenrya: For 20 plus years.
Taiia: They've already got enough of our free time, okay?
Kenrya: Listen. All right, so she's been a longtime partner for 20 plus years to the guy who turned down her invitation to the prom.
Kenrya: How dare he?
Erica: How dare he? And you still welcomed him into your life, and your body.
Taiia: All up in here.
Erica: Can I get just a quick top line story... Oh, first, you guys, thank you for coming on the show.
Taiia: Thank you for having me. This is exciting.
Erica: How did the guy that turned you down for prom, turn into 20 years Carpenter bae?
Taiia: My baby father, he-
Erica: Your baby father.
Taiia: My baby father. What happened was is we went to high school together, and we were friends in high school. And we both were crushing on each other from afar type thing.
Taiia: And when it came time for prom, nobody asked me to the prom. I was most popular female in school, and what else was I? Miss Journalism, and-
Kenrya: Oh, they were scared?
Taiia: No, I don't think they... Well, you know what? My mother said they were scared, so I might have to agree with you. But I'm like, "You know, I'm your girl. I'm your homie. I'm your friend." And nobody asked me to the prom.
Erica: "I'm fine. You going to pass all of this?"
Taiia: Right, exactly. "You going to pass all of this?" And it was skinnier back then, but... "You going to pass all of this?"
Taiia: I said, "You know what? I'm going to ask who I want to go to the prom with me." And I asked him, got up the nerve. Can you imagine I got up the nerve?
Taiia: And he was like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm going with X." And I was like, "Wait, you all broke up though. Why are you going..." But me "But you all broke up. Why are you going to the prom with her?" And she was a junior.
Taiia: But the thing that I came to learn is that he's very loyal, he's very faithful, of good stock, right? I was like, "All right." Then fast forward, of course ego is bruised. Fast forward and he bumps into my brother, because my brother had gone to high school with us too, and he bumps into my brother years later. My brother's like, "Yeah, you need to take her out. She's home from school on a break. She don't got a date."
Kenrya: Talking too much.
Taiia: Right. He's running all of my business.
Erica: Thanks, brother.
Taiia: When he gives him the number, I tried to play hard to get. I'm just like, "I'm busy, what you doing? I got dates."
Taiia: And we went out on one date, and fast forward 20 plus years later and we got a kid and everything. That's the long short story of how the guy who turned me down for the prom. I got the wedding out of him though, you know what I'm saying?
Kenrya: Yeah. You did.
Erica: You got the big prom, with only people that you want there, there, so...
Kenrya: And you get to pick the colors.
Taiia: Exactly. That's the best part.
Erica: All right. Well, okay. You was like, "Fuck their prom, I'm going to put on my own, with my own theme, and everything."
Taiia: Exactly. And I didn't want to get married, so that was the other thing.
Kenrya: Oh, yeah.
Taiia: Well, let me go back and fix what I'm saying, because that sounded crazy.
Erica: No, it didn't. No, it didn't
Taiia: No, it didn't?
Erica: No, uh-uh (negative).
Taiia: Okay. Because I saw my parents who were, they loved each other but they were like... I was like, "Oh, marriage makes you crazy, don't want that. Nope, nope, don't want none of that." So I happen to fall for the guy who was like, "Nah, I want to get married, I want to have a family."
Kenrya: Hearts, flowers, marriage.
Taiia: I was like, "I was against this marriage thing. And you want kids? I didn't want none of them neither."
Kenrya: And now you got two extra hearts.
Taiia: I got two extra hearts. I got the big heart, and a little heart.
Erica: Oh, that's so nice. Okay, so even before prom and all of that... We know what you do now, which is just amazing, you are like-
Taiia: Try to be dope, yes, thank you.
Erica: Helping people actualize their dreams. But what did little Taiia think she was doing?
Erica: Taiia. Shit, I knew that. We going to go back, we going to go back. Okay.
Taiia: It's okay. Everybody does that.
Erica: What did little Taiia... I got it?
Taiia: You got it. You said it, and then you questioned yourself.
Erica: Yeah, now you got me like, "Good Midwestern tongue." Okay, sorry. All right. What did little Taiia want to be when she grew up?
Taiia: A writer.
Erica: I love it.
Taiia: Mm-hmm (affirmative). I declared I was going to be a writer in the fifth grade.
Taiia: I announced it to everyone who would listen, and my mother took me seriously and she was like, "Okay, writers need to have books, they need to go to the library and they need to learn how to type." I always tell this story, that I thought one summer I was going to the Y, my mom put me in typing school. Who does that?
Erica: Mavis Beacon-
Kenrya: Your mama!
Erica: It was Mavis Beacon yes, and she was-
Taiia: Listen, I wish I learned how to type with some Mavis Beacon, I learned how to type with a... It wasn't even an electric-
Erica: Click, click, click.
Taiia: I learnt on the manual typewriter and then we got to electric. And I was the only kid in the adult class, because my mother was like, "Well there's nothing in the rules that's saying she can't be here, so she's going to be here, okay. I pay the fee, thank you. Bye."
Taiia: I learned how to type at a really early age, and I knew in the fifth grade. I was like, "I'm gonna be a writer." I didn't know any writers, didn't know how I was going... And my big thing was, "I'm going to write for Essence Magazine. Okay?"
Kenrya: Oh, you do. Look at that-
Taiia: Exactly [crosstalk 00:06:33]-
Erica: Look at God.
Taiia: Look at God. God was busy blessing me, because that was my... I had an internship at Essence and I was so thirsty, I let everybody know I wanted to work there. They must have been like-
Kenrya: That's what you have to do, though.
Erica: Speak it.
Taiia: But they must have been like, "Let me get this little girl out of here, because you know your internship is over." And they're being all nice, and like, "What are you going to do?" And I was like, "I want to be back here, what do you mean what do I want to do? I want a job."
Taiia: And so I think that was my junior year. And my senior year, thank God, for sorority sisters, for the Deltas, for my Sorors, you know?
Erica: The Sorors.
Taiia: The Sorors. Because one of... She was the assistant editor, and she was getting promoted. And she was like, "Listen, do you want..."
Taiia: And I had taken a job just to get money. I had taken a job with the federal government, and she called me she was like, "Listen, I'm getting promoted. I'm going to tell you what you need to do to get this thing, but you're going to have to take it home." And I was like "What? Get me the ball. I'm about to do a layup." What, I'm out of here. And that's how I ended up at Essence.
Erica: That is so dope, I love it.
Kenrya: I'll ask you who that was after we finish. Because you know our little world is small.
Taiia: Exactly. It's very small.
Kenrya: Wait, okay. I realize, I've known you for a minute.
Taiia: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: I guess I've never wondered, but now I kind of do. Where'd your name come from? As one person with an interesting name to another person with an interesting name.
Taiia: My name is my grandmother's name, my grandmother was Sojourner Taiia, and I am Taiia Sojourner, so we out here.
Taiia: We out here with the truth. As my friends call me, "Sojourner with the truth."
Kenrya: That is the best.
Taiia: Right? I love being named after my grandmother, and growing up though that's kind of like... Growing up in the ’70s with a name like Taiia, I didn't really grow to appreciate it until later.
Taiia: Because people always mispronounced my name, as I know you have experienced. And so I just always wanted something that was easier and it was like, as I got so appreciate my name and just... I'm being named after my grandmother, I'm like," No, I don't want easy. I don't want easy at all."
Kenrya: No, you're not easy.
Kenrya: And it just makes you so much more memorable.
Taiia: Absolutely. And I went to a small HBCU, any kind of dirt that I did... Taiia, there's only one.
Taiia: Exactly, "She did it, it was her." Shout out to JCSU, Johnson C. Smith University.
Kenrya: Oh yay. We love a good HBCU connection.
Erica: We love a good HBCU, yep.
Taiia: Yes, indeed.
Erica: Okay, what inspires you to do this work?
Taiia: You mean help people self-publish their books?
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Taiia: Okay, so what's the true story? No, I just feel like self-publishing gets such a bad rap, right? Because we've all seen the book that clearly wasn't... The cover wasn't designed well, you look inside-
Kenrya: There's errors on every other page?
Erica: We swim through a lot of shit to find some sugar.
Erica: Well not a lot, but we swim through a significant amount of shit.
Taiia: Enough, enough.
Taiia: Right, so you see the font is not right, and what happens is that people have a passion for storytelling. And so my thing was, I had taken a class on how to market a self-published book, because I had a deal that fell through.
Taiia: And I was like, "You know what? I'm mad, I'm tight, but I'm still going to write something." And I was like, "Why don't I just take my years of experience being in magazine journalism, I can be my own ME, I know how to do that. I can hire an editor, I can hire somebody to take my picture and make me look pretty and put me on the cover." So I took all those skills and self-published a book for teen girls. And so-
Kenrya: Tell us what the book is called.
Taiia: It's called “Famous: How To Be The Star Of Your Show A Teen Girl's Guide to Embracing Her Fabulous Self.”
Taiia: It's a little part memoir, because it's got some of my teen stories in there. Little part workbook, because it has some places for you to journal and fill out questions about yourself, and that kind of thing. And it comes from the place of girls are already fabulous, you just need to be reminded of it.
Taiia: Right? Girl power, right?
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Taiia: And what for people, they would ask me things like, "Well, how did you do that?" And you know how it is when you've been in a business, you're like, "Oh, but I just did the thing." And it's like, no, people want to understand that. And so what I decided I wanted to do, was because the class that I took was more focused on how to market your book and make those dollars.
Taiia: I was like, "Let me help people who want to actually get published and make it look good." As you said, you swim through a lot of things, so make it look good.
Taiia: And that's always a challenge, and so that's the thing. I wanted to help people make their product look really good. Look like, "Wow, this is self published? This is of quality."
Kenrya: That's what's up, and it's really important to us that we support indie authors on this podcast.
Kenrya: It's dope to hear about how you are doing that too.
Kenrya: Yeah. I imagined a lot of your work was already virtual before Corona came?
Kenrya: But I'm interested in knowing if it has impacted things at all, in terms of the way that you work with new writers.
Taiia: I don't think so because it was already... Here's the thing that I understand about new writers is that they need a lot of coaching, they need a lot of handholding and reassurance, and that's not something that everybody wants to do.
Taiia: And I didn't necessarily feel like it's... You can't just tell somebody, "Well go ahead and write your chapter summaries, and then come back to me in six months with your 10 chapters, and your first draft written." Because they've never done it before, so I do a lot of coaching and we get on a Zoom call, depending on which package that they pick. Monthly, weekly, bi-weekly, we get on this Zoom call.
Taiia: And a lot of times I feel like I'm a therapist, because you're helping people work through whatever blocks they have, whatever fears they have. If it's a story that's super personal, there's one woman I'm working with, she's writing a memoir and she grew up in shelters as a young mom and now she runs five shelters.
Taiia: She's a VP, and so when we're talking, she didn't even realize, she was like, "Oh yeah, I have this story." She wanted to write about something else, and I was like, "Nah, this is the story right here."
Taiia: It's those kinds of things. It's like, you got to coach people, you got to get on the phone with them, you got to walk them through what's working in their story and what isn't. And that part I really do enjoy, but it is also, that part of it can be very exhausting too because it's like, "How many calls I got today? I got to be on. I got to be sharp."
Kenrya: Yeah. And are you in an emotional place to want to do that, right?
Taiia: Yeah. Because someone can be talking about this story about being homeless, it could be a sales story. The stories run the gamut, and I have to be fully present and give people what they need. There is one woman I'm working on with, she's writing a book about her experiences having threesomes, and so it was like, "Is it hot in here, or is it..."
Erica: I like it.
Taiia: "Is there a puddle?" Because I was so aroused. I was like, "We're going to have to put this down and come back to it in a minute."
Erica: "We still have to do a memoir." Okay. Yeah, that just reminded me, we did say we were going to do a memoir.
Taiia: You guys are doing a memoir, a joint memoir?
Erica: No, for the show.
Kenrya: On the show.
Taiia: Oh, okay. On the show.
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.
Taiia: Okay, got you.
Kenrya: It's been difficult to find memoirs that meet the brief right, because they need to have really good sex scenes, the need to move conversations forward, but we would love to do something that really explores someone's life.
Taiia: See, so you understand where I'm is.
Erica: Where you is. With all that said about you helping new writers, developing writers birth their projects. What do you wish all Black aspiring writers knew before they hit you up?
Taiia: That's a great question. What do I wish they knew? That they're not alone. I think that's the big thing when we come to writing our stories. Whether it's a story about sexual awakening, or a memoir about coming from this place of, "I grew up in shelters and being a young mom." Because she entered a shelter when she was 23, and already had two children.
Taiia: It's that, one, you're not alone. And that, two, your story can actually help someone.
Taiia: I love the way Robin Roberts used to say that, well she still says it, that her mom says, "Make your mess your message." And so I do feel like a lot of times that's what it is that I'm really trying to work with people. Yes, I want them to package their genius and be able to sell that, but if they have this message, then okay we got it. You're not going get the deal with Random House, and you're not gonna get the deal with Penguin, but there is going to be someone who is maybe in your church, in your youth group, in your whatever organization you belong to. They're going to be affected by your story. And that's still important and that's still valid.
Erica: Yeah, I like that.
Kenrya: Great. Last week we read an excerpt from a short story called “Parking.”
Kenrya: Yes. And it featured a couple that was branching out from their normal shit, trying to shake it up. Does this need to shake things up ring true to you as somebody who has been partnered for more than 20 years?
Taiia: You always got to shake it up. You got to shake, you better shake it, you better smack it up, flip it, rub it down. In the words of our minister Bell Biv DeVoe. Yes ma'am. We've been together since our 20s, and we're seasoned, we're in our 40s. The things that you even liked in your 20s, it could be that's not the same, or it doesn't do the same thing for you anymore, right? And there is more of me to love now, so that's another thing.
Erica: You look really good.
Taiia: Oh, thank you.
Erica: You like, "Oh I hope this nigga ain't going to do this again, if this don't work no more."
Taiia: Actually, what it is, he's told me that he feels like my sex drive has increased. And I was like, "Yes, I'm in my prime right now."
Taiia: I want it all the time.
Erica: I love it.
Taiia: I'm in my prime, he's like, "What is wrong with you? I'm not a machine." I was like, "Be a machine, damn it."
Erica: Get your vitamins, and do what you got to do.
Taiia: Exactly, and you know it's kind of flipped, because it was like in the 20s it was horndog all the time, and now you're not used to me being this way?
Erica: You like, "My knee ain't working. Figure that shit out, we got things to do tonight. Fuck your knee."
Taiia: Well me I'm like, "Oh, but you had time to go cycling though." Because he's a big cyclist. He does the Five Boro bike tours, and all these different kind of tours where it's like 40 miles and I was like, "You could do the bike tour, and I can't get none? Oh, hell no. Hope you drank your water, because I am going to get mine."
Erica: I love it-
Erica: Okay, so in this story Stacy's partner Vivian parks the car a little away from the house so that they can have sex like they used to when they were dating in the early days. What's the most surprising thing that your partner has done and keep you turned on?
Taiia: The thing about parking, I was like, "Oh yeah this is... We park still."
Taiia: Well not in the pandemic, but pre-pandemic. Depending on what Brooklyn street you might have rode down at a certain time, you might have caught my car with some fogged up windows. Yes.
Kenrya: I love it.
Taiia: Okay, here's the thing. When you're with someone for that long amount of time, do you know how everyday shit is boring? You got homework when the kid is little, you got laundry, you got dinner, you got work.
Taiia: And so it's so easy for you to fall into a sexual rut, and that's not saying that we haven't, but we've been really conscious of like, "Okay we need to do things just to spice it up." So yes, we've been in a car or two.
Erica: All right.
Taiia: I won't say how many. And not so long ago there was a scene in a location that we had not been in before and I was like, "I feel like there's cameras in here, let's stop."
Erica: "Fuck it."
Taiia: I was like, "Is my ass going to be on the news? Let's stop.”
Kenrya: Can they see your face though?
Taiia: I was concerned, I wasn't quite sure where the camera was, because if they can only see my back, then I wouldn't be worrying, but if they could see my face and it's like, "Ah, I'm on the news, I'm on the cover the Daily News, I'm on Channel 7." No.
Erica: I have a tramp stamp, so anything on the back, he'd be like, "That's Erica's nasty ass."
Kenrya: Have you all had to adjust, because your son came home during the pandemic?
Taiia: Yes. He done slowed everything down. No, he didn't. I mean I tell that lie.
Taiia: My son had said to me, when he came home he was like, "Listen, I just want you guys to know that the walls are not as thick as you think they are." And I was like, "Word?"
Taiia: Not even embarrassed. It's like, "Dude you done came, I knew you had a good time in Virginia. You coming over here to ruin my good time?"
Erica: You're like, "Oh man, that's messed up. That's real messed up."
Kenrya: What you gonna do?
Taiia: I was like, "Word." He was like, "I had to put my headphones on." I was like, "That's what they're for, it turns it up high."
Erica: "I bought those expensive ass headphones for a reason."
Taiia: Exactly. Exactly. That's definitely been difficult, because I was so happy now to have walked around the house naked, and now I have to remember to grab a robe, and those kinds of things.
Taiia: Every once in a while, I will still try it. I'll try to listen and see if he's in his room, and the bathroom is right by his room. If I run really fast, butt naked, through the house, I could get to the bathroom before he opens the door.
Kenrya: I mean, it's worth a shot.
Taiia: I do it, I have not gotten caught yet. I have not gotten caught yet.
Kenrya: And that's your house, ultimately.
Taiia: Exactly, it is.
Erica: It's going to be embarrassing for him, not for you.
Taiia: That's what I'm trying to say, that's what I try to say, but he'll get me because he'll say something like, "Why they hang so low though?" Then I be like "You busy looking at them, exactly. You looking at them young titties at school and stuff?" I'm like... Yeah.
Taiia: Yes. Very.
Kenrya: Lord. What have you found works to keep things, like I heard that y'all have sex in different places. What else works? I'm trying to take notes, because I'm still early in my relationship.
Taiia: What else works? I think really spontaneity, because I think a lot of people... I know some couples like to plan sex, and I'm like...
Kenrya: It doesn't work for you?
Taiia: No, it doesn't. I think if you always feel like, "Wednesday's the night." Like did you guys see “Little Fires Everywhere”?
Kenrya: She was like, "It's not Wednesday anymore." I was like "Oh my God."
Erica: You do some shit like that in front of me, and I'm going to masturbate on your leg.
Taiia: Right? To me, that kills the spontaneity, that kills the vibe. What if I'm looking good on Tuesday, and I'm not looking good on Wednesday?
Kenrya: Right. You feelin’ yourself.
Taiia: Right. And my thing is, on my husband I'm always like, "[Tag 00:26:11], you know when I'm all looking cute, you ain't trying to attack me, and you wait to this head wrap is on, I done got the cream on the face."
Kenrya: [crosstalk 00:26:19] they can always say, "I love you no matter what you look like." And he ain't...
Taiia: I'd be like, "It's a lie, you're just horny."
Taiia: But then when I'm extra dressed up or we're going somewhere, I'm like "No, you're going to take advantage of this package today, and then you're going to wait time for my PJs on, and then try to get on my bones. Take me out the dress and take me out the Spanx."
Erica: Roll them down.
Taiia: Roll them down. You know I need to hold everything in place.
Kenrya: Do you, I don't know?
Erica: My shit be wibbly.
Taiia: Thank you, Erica. Thank you.
Erica: And that's okay.
Taiia: It is okay, but...
Erica: This guy told me he was like, because I've been gaining weight and I'm like, "I'm gaining so much weight." Ae was like, "That's fine." He was like, "I like the smack it, and watch it roll."
Taiia: No, they love a little reverb. They love a little...
Taiia: Get into it, if that's what you like, Okay.
Erica: If that's what you like, okay. Okay, whatever.
Erica: Okay so speaking of bodies, how do you make time to be in touch with yourself and your body? In the midst of being a partner and a parent, and a bad bitch entrepreneur.
Taiia: That's a good question. I feel like sometimes I fail miserably at that, and then sometimes like today and yesterday I'm high fiving myself, I'm like "You know you woke up early, you got your workout in, and you washed your hair."
Kenrya: That's a lot.
Taiia: Exactly. That was a lot.
Kenrya: That's hours right there.
Taiia: Now it's like, the hair alone. Okay, get into me deep conditioning under here, okay. It's just a lot of time, but I really just do try to just make time for it.
Taiia: It's like, if I noticed that I'm completely off, I need to get some time in just to be with me. To say my prayers, I don't even call it meditating because I'm just talking to God like, "Listen..."
Taiia: I'm always grateful, start with my gratitude prayers first, and then I'm like, "Listen, here's some things that I've been struggling with, and I need you to help me in Jesus name, amen." And I'm very specific.
Erica: Yeah, you have to be.
Kenrya: You got to be, mm-hmm (affirmative).
Taiia: Very specific. I don't leave anything to chance, but I've had to really work on that. And then I've realized though is that in my 30s, I realized, "Oh yeah I like myself."
Taiia: But then in my 40s, I'm like, "No, I really fuck with you, you're my girl." You just start getting into yourself. And so that's when I was like, "You know what I'm gonna put a little self-love journal together." Because I've started seeing that, you know how you look at some of your girls and you're like, "You're so bad, you don't even realize you need to big yourself up."
Taiia: And so that was one of the great things about the quarantine, was that I had plans on having live journaling workshops at venues, and I just had to take that thing to Zoom and we had a good time. I've done it four times, called “Love You Mean It, LIVE.”
Kenrya: Your last one, you used “Love Jones” as a prompt right?
Taiia: Okay, so that's a whole other thing. That's a whole other thing.
Taiia: That is the Write and Sip, so the Write and Sip came from me going to like 20,000 Paint and Sips and coming back with all these ugly canvases because I can't paint, but I did more drinking than I did painting, right? I was like, "What can I do, what can I do?" And I was like, "Oh, I am going to do a Write and Sip."
Taiia: And so I had the idea to, this was the third one... This was the first time I have had a theme, so I did it before the pandemic. And I was like, "Oh, going to do ‘Love Jones,’ and everyone was into it." That was like my first sold out one.
Taiia: It's really, they're intimate, they're like 40 people, a few men come through, mostly women. And so people have been saying, "Are you gonna do it online?" And I kind of put that in the back of my mind like, "Yeah, yeah, I'll do it online at some point." And then the pandemic happened and then it was like, "Well, we're gonna do it online today."
Erica: "This is my website. So sign up..."
Taiia: Exactly. "Well, what we're going to do is, we're going to give you the link, and you can just sign up promptly." But that was so much fun too, because it was all about love and relationships, and all the prompts were based around things that Nina and Darius went through.
Taiia: And it was like okay, "how does this apply to your life and what what has gone on with you?" Because you know that scene where they're at the steps, Nina and Darius, and they give that kiss goodnight, you know at the end of the night ain't over.
Taiia: Exactly. And so we had a great conversation and wrote about one-night stands, and listen we had a talk about... Well they could not give me any stories about a kiss, these women were so triggered. They were like, "No, if I talk about that kiss that I got." They were like, "I will get pregnant right now."
Erica: Like, "I'm not supposed to be calling people to come over after this."
Taiia: They were like, "My husband don't know about that kiss, okay?" I was like, "Oh, okay."
Taiia: We had such a good time. Those things have been fun in terms of being quarantined. I'm able to do some other fun things that I didn't know if they would translate online, but they did.
Erica: I love it.
Taiia: Thankfully, thankfully.
Kenrya: And it's like opened your group up to more than just people in New York, you have people all across... You're in New York, I'm assuming you're in New York?
Taiia: Absolutely. I am, Brooklyn, yep.
Kenrya: Yes, you said Brooklyn. Yeah, so it opens it up to anybody. I like that.
Taiia: Yeah. And that was the best part of it, because the Write and Sip itself was done in Brooklyn. It was done three times in Brooklyn, and I was like, "Oh yeah, the fourth one is going to be in June." We didn't know we were going to be in the situation we're in right now. I don't know when the next one will be. As my son says, "When they open up outside, outside."
Erica: When the outside open up.
Taiia: Right. So we'll see, but for now Zoom has been good to me.
Kenrya: That's awesome. And that leads me to my next question. What does success look like to you?
Taiia: It's interesting, because I don't know if you ladies were like me but at one point I used... In my mid 20s I was really caught up in titles. And then I realized, "Oh you don't want to be the editor in chief of someone's.
Taiia: I'm like, "Wait, wait, wait." I forgot...
Kenrya: "Yeah, I was editor-in-chief, I forgot." Listen, because it stopped being my dream. It stopped being my dream, and then they had it did happen. I was not anymore. I have to live that life on my own...
Taiia: But it's like when that thing is your dream and you get caught up in your title, and then even if you get as close to your dream, or in your case you got into your dream job.
Taiia: And then you see all the, it's like Richard Pryor in “The Wiz.” In “The Wiz,” right? When the curtain open up, and you see Richard Pryor back there, you're like, "I don't know how this thing is made." But you have no choice when you are the EIC, you have see to see how everything is made. You have to see behind that curtain.
Erica: We apologize, Kenrya's feeling some things right now.
Taiia: I know, she's having a personal moment, she's having a flashback. She's being triggered, a lot of trauma going on over there.
Taiia: I decided that success for me at this point in my 40s looks like me being connected to my passion. I want to serve in terms of making sure I help people write the stories they want to write. Whether it's when I do Rock Your College Essay with teens, and I make it fun. Because writing is not fun in school. You got to write these papers, you have to analyze these things, and they don't enjoy that. I try to make the college writing process fun, in terms of that personal statement.
Taiia: With the live journaling, I want to make it fun and approachable and I just want to bring the joy back to writing and creating and sharing your stories, and that for me looks like success, along with being able to pay these bills and have this indoor plumbing situation happen.
Taiia: Pay T-Mobile, go on a trip or two. That's really important to me, I think the growth is what happened. It's like yeah, you get caught up in titles and I need to make this amount of money, and but if it didn't make me happy, right. And that's the thing.
Erica: It's so wild, because I totally think about... I went through a period where I was really driven by my... I felt like I was defined by my success at work. And then I transitioned to a job where, it was just like, "Bitch you getting a check every two weeks..."
Taiia: You're here for health insurance.
Erica: Bitch... You're like, "I need to get my teeth done."
Erica: It was a crisis in my life where I'm like, "What am I doing, who am I?" And now that I don't give a fuck about that, like it's really... Because I am definitely in a 9-5, but now that I'm like, "That's that. But let me pursue what I want to do with my passions."
Erica: I feel like life has opened up, that I'm living a whole different-
Kenrya: It's liberating.
Taiia: It is.
Taiia: But that's you learning about yourself, that's me learning about myself, that's Miss former editor in chief learning about herself.
Erica: We can cackle for days. We love you though.
Taiia: You'd think that that thing, that title, is gonna make you happy, and then it's like, "I'll be happy when? I'll be happy if." And it's like, no it doesn't always line up that way.
Kenrya: Not at all.
Erica: Learning to be comfortable with that, because you spend so long thinking, "This is what it's supposed to be."
Kenrya: And figuring out what does bring you joy though. I think the other side of that is you may be like, "Okay. This ain't it."
Erica: You bring me...
Kenrya: Here we go.
Erica: Joy, when I'm down.
Kenrya: Yes girl.
Erica: I always sing, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have drank. I shouldn't have been drinking.
Taiia: No. You are totally fine. I was going to say, a change is not difficult because I'm a Pisces and we already got one fish swimming up and one fish swimming down. Listen, when I get my fish to swim, we just got to go. We just got to do something else. And the thing is that the job that probably that I had, that I had no idea I was going to fall in love with, was when I worked for Girls Incorporated. I worked for a nonprofit for almost five years in the communications department. And did not think I was going to love that job, I thought I was going to be there for a year, ride it out.
Taiia: I had just come off of being unemployed, after 9/11 happened and I had just had my son. I think he was... He was really young, I think he might have been like eight months, nine months at that point, and-
Erica: There for the health insurance.
Taiia: I loved that job. Well I just thought, "Okay this is gonna be a good experience, I can use my skills, I'm transitioning." That's the way I was thinking, but I loved that job. I loved the mission of Girls Incorporated, I loved the department that I was in, I loved that I was able to grow. That's how I learned to do workshops, because everybody's out here like, "I'm a boss bitch." Okay. Where do you learn how to be a boss?
Taiia: Because that's my thing, I want to take each experience and they grow, and be able to be like, "Yeah I'm a boss, because I've done X, Y and Z." I learned how to give workshops at Girls Inc, from Girls Inc I learned how to ghostwrite from my time at Girls Inc, I learned how to speech write from Girls Inc.
Taiia: There was just so much that I learned, and I learned about leadership. I learned about... Watching this fabulous, phenomenal Black woman Joyce Roche, she had a corporate background and she came into nonprofit space, and she brought some of the benefits of having that corporate sensibility and getting us the money that we needed to run the organization.
Taiia: I didn't work for the satellite Girls Incs around the country that worked specifically with girls day to day, I worked in the national office. And so we were responsible for all the brand messaging and the communications. And it was such an awesome place to be for me to soak up so much, and then be like, "Yeah." If someone says, "Have you ever written a speech before?" "Yeah, I sure have." Right? I've done the thing.
Erica: That's great. Okay, so if you're anything like me, you have a big ass pile of books in your office, in your bedroom, wherever. That's staring at you, that's like, "I am going to be read." What's in your to be read pile?
Taiia: Oh man, okay so this is a mixed pile. This is like my to be read and some things that I've read. I have “Warrior Rising” by MaryAnne Howland, and this is by a sister who wanted to have her son surrounded by, I think it's five influential Black men or just Black men.
Taiia: He didn't have his dad in his life, so she wanted to make sure that these Black men were his community of go-to men that he could go to. I'm looking forward to reading that. What else do I have over here?
Taiia: I have “She Begat This,” which I'm rereading, by Joan Morgan, because I love me some [crosstalk 00:41:01].
Taiia: And then because I've been working with a lot of people interested in doing memoirs and more kind of like funny stuff, I was rereading Tiffany Haddish's “The Last Black Unicorn.” And then I also have “Notes of a Black Chef.” Is that the title? Yeah, yes. I'm looking forward to reading that because I've heard so much about it. And I'm just looking forward to diving into those things so it is [crosstalk 00:41:27]-
Erica: It's an eclectic mix, yeah.
Taiia: Oh yeah, I'm a Pisces. You know, the fish. I try to keep it fresh, Erica. I try to keep it interesting.
Erica: I like it, I like... I'm a Gemini so I need all the...
Taiia: Girl, you know, you know.
Erica: You know what?
Erica: Nobody need that.
Taiia: I was just going to say, I know about you. I know about your kind, I know about your kind.
Kenrya: I'm an Aries, don't none of this, this ain't it...
Erica: But you've surrounded yourself with Geminis in your life, so deal with it.
Kenrya: Lord have mercy, you people.
Erica: Okay, so I like to get a little random.
Erica: If you had to like, just strictly sex only in one place for the rest of your life. Would it either be in the car, or on top of the car?
Kenrya: Inspired by our book, "Parking."
Erica: Look at you, with the spicy voice.
Taiia: I'm going to take on top of the car.
Erica: Get it. I love it.
Taiia: Because you need room. The thing about having sex in a car is, you have to be strategically positioned. If you are in the backseat-
Erica: Especially if you're a woman of a size and age, them knees don't work and them thighs don't fit.
Taiia: Okay. See I'm not there, but you know I'm going to understand. I understand what you're saying.
Erica: Girl, I be like, "Look..."
Taiia: But my husband is like six feet tall and I am five feet, so that presents some...
Erica: You don't even look that small. Your angles are great.
Taiia: I'm giving you what? 5'8", 5'9", No, I'm here.
Erica: You're not a stallion?
Taiia: Not at all. If I step off the chair you won't see me.
Kenrya: Dude I did not know that you were shorter than me.
Taiia: Yeah, I'm shorter than everyone.
Kenrya: That's crazy.
Taiia: My son, when he was 11-
Kenrya: I'm 5'2" and three quarters.
Taiia: See you got me by this much, but that's still an impressive amount.
Erica: Well, I'm 5'7."
Kenrya: Are you?
Taiia: You thought I was giving you 5'8." Right?
Kenrya: No, she lies.
Erica: I'm 5'5."
Erica: Because the thing is, I used to say all the time to Kenrya, "I'm 5'7"." And she would take it, she'd be like "Okay, I don't know..."
Kenrya: I don't know, anybody that's taller than me...
Erica: Until this bitch started going to every doctor's appointment with me. And they measure me and weigh me in front of her. I was like, "You know what bitch? HIPPA Shut up. Don't tell nobody."
Taiia: Exactly, where is the Hippocratic Oath when you need it?
Taiia: Silence. Do not share my height or my weight, thank you very much. But on top of the car, because it gives me more room, more flexibility, more space.
Erica: I like it.
Taiia: I'm not getting any taller, but still you just need that space.
Kenrya: It ain't been easy, last time we did it in a car, my partner pulled a cramp in his stomach, because we ate a good meal at the casino.
Erica: That is, I'm sorry I almost snorted. That is the most like... We went on the boat gambling, and he hit it on the penny slot.
Taiia: I was thinking that...
Erica: And I came home and gave him coupons.
Kenrya: We went to the classy casino, and then it was like a babysitter situation and we just didn't want to wait, so...
Erica: Damn. Yeah.
Kenrya: Well, it was fun until he caught that cramp.
Taiia: Well listen, I can't lie. It wasn't a stomach cramp, but my husband because he rides he gets a lot of charlie horses. We've been there where we've been like... And he's like, "I feel it coming." And like.
Taiia: "No, the charlie horse, get off."
Kenrya: And you don't want to stop, but it's like, "Oh, I guess I should be sensitive to your situation," but also…
Erica: Be sensitive to my situation.
Taiia: Exactly. Half of me, I'm wondering like, "So are we done or..."
Erica: "Do you need some water, or..."
Taiia: No, it takes a minute for him to walk those charlie horses off. It takes a minute.
Erica: He can fuck them charlie horses, off [crosstalk 00:45:53]. I'm sorry, my bad.
Taiia: No, listen, those charlie horses are so distracting. He can't walk, so he can't do anything [crosstalk 00:46:04].
Taiia: Right. Erica has no sympathy.
Kenrya: No, none.
Erica: Mind you, I'm the single one. So I'm like, "When I get a man, it's gonna be like..." No bitch, it won't. Just shut up. Grass is greener, grass is greener.
Kenrya: I guess. I would love for you to tell the people where they can find you, when they finish listen to the show. Because they gonna want to look you up.
Taiia: Okay, they want to find me on these internet streets? They can definitely find me on IG, that is my favorite and preferred platform. So I'm @TaiiaSmartYoung, Do you need me to spell out my name out? Because you know...
Kenrya: Yes, please.
Taiia: So that's T-A-I-I-A, Smart, S-M-A-R-T, Y-O-U-N-G, @TaiiaSmartYoung, on IG.
Taiia: And then also my name for my website, TaiiaSmartYoung.com, You can find me on there as well. And I got some freebies on there for the writing folks, they may want to put their pinky toe into some things. We got some writing prompts on there, some freebies for you all. Yeah, check it out, under the freebie section.
Kenrya: Head on over there, grab those, and thank you for joining us.
Taiia: Thank you, this has been a most delightful happy hour, sex hour, whatever you want to call it.
Kenrya: I'm so glad you said yes. I need more of you in my life, this is fun.
Taiia: I didn't want to look too thirsty, because when you sent me the link, I had it like, "Okay, I'm got my free, that day."
Taiia: Because I think your email was like from here until August. I was like, "August?"
Erica: "No bitch."
Kenrya: I love it. I'm glad you did.
Erica: This is great.
Taiia: Me too. Thank you so much, I had a ball, ladies.
Kenrya: So did we. And now that's it for this week's episode of The Turn On. Thanks to everyone for listening, and we will see you next week.
Erica: This episode was produced by us, Erica and Kenrya, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme song is from Brazy. First, please leave a review in your favorite podcast listening app. For real, we want to hear from you all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions you want us to answer to TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com, and please subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast app. Follow us on Twitter, @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram, @TheTurnOnPodcast, and finally is the books, transcripts, guest info, and other fun stuff at theturnonpodcast.com. Bye.
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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read K.A. Smith's "Parking" and talk about having car sex, keeping things fresh and remembering that you're a bad bitch.
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Kenrya: Come here, get off.
Erica: Okay y'all, welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. This week we are reading “Parking,” which was written in 2014 by the fabulous K.A. Smith. So sit back, relax, get your wine, your weed and whatever you need and enjoy.
Kenrya: “Parking,” by K.A Smith. Vivian pulled the car to a stop on the street instead of pulling into our driveway. I lifted my hand, half asleep from the long drive home, and looked out the window. Even in the dark of night, I could see I needed to spend some time weeding near the fence. I made a mental note to take care of it tomorrow before it got too hot.
Kenrya: I looked over at Viv wondering only briefly why she hadn't just pulled up to the house. The 66 Charger grumbled harshly as we sat. I had never been crazy for this loud hunk of metal, but Viv loved it. And when she suggested we take it tonight, I couldn't find a reason not to. "Did you forget the garage clicker?" I leaned back against the headrest, a smile tugging at my sleepy mouth. She was always forgetting things. Just that morning she forgotten her wallet. I met her at the door, my short robe, breasts peeking out teasingly, "Did you forget something?" I waved her wallet in the air playfully. She ambled up the driveway, shaking her hand and grinning sheepishly. "No, I didn't forget," she said next to me now.
Kenrya: Her voice held a hint of desire, gravel thick and rough. She turned to look at me. Her eyes held the same sumptuous tone of flecks of gold shimmering. She’d cracked the window, letting a tendril of air curl inside. "Then just pull into the garage babe, I'm ready to get out of this dress." She raised her eyebrows suggestively, her cheeky grin hanging on her face. "I can help with that," her face implied. I looked her over in the driver's seat. She was a fine dapper gentle lady in her all-black suit. Viv was suave, laid back, but always thinking behind those almost black eyes. I let my vision feel with her moving over her slowly, wondering what thoughts she had working behind those intense orbs of hers.
Kenrya: “Let's stay here a minute.” She settled back into the lush leather seat after turning the ignition off. Her body tilted toward me at an angle. Viv propped one leg slightly in the curve of the low slung door and spread her legs a bit. The streetlights splashed across her lap accentuating her generous package. She put her hand on her thigh, spreading her fingers out. Her thumb twitching near her hardon, outlining its silhouette. "Come here," she said, her voice slipping into a lower register. She nodded me over with a cocky head tilt, still rubbing her leg beneath her slacks. Her firm thigh strained against the material. The air in the car was becoming thick and hot despite the vents she left open in the window. I felt the air pressing down on this, creating electricity from our heat.
Kenrya: Viv? I questioned, feigning surprise. I kept my voice low, but excitement and anticipation was creeping in on me. Was she attempting to seduce me? Are we parking right here in front of our house? "Come here," she said again. And this time she lifted my hand onto her lap and rubbed herself against me. She was hard. Vivian tried to maintain her composure not wanting to rush me all at the same time, but our engine was revved and far from idle. I felt the tiny hair stand all over my body, my sensor liquefying and rushing toward my car.
Kenrya: I kept my hand on her lap, absorbing her heat. "What do you want?" I asked, playing a flirter in my eyelashes. "You know what I want baby." Viv reached down between her legs quickly and pulled the lash to adjust the seat, grip, the seat rolled back to its furthest notch, fast with a hard stop. She stretched her legs out, spreading them even wider. Pressing deeper into my palm with a single upward thrust of her hips. The moving seat jostled me, jerking me along with her. She reclined the lumbar to a more comfortable position waiting. I bit down on my lip to quiet my surprise. Her quick movements made me giddy and a little bit flustered like a high school kid about to get in over her head. I was no longer drowsy from the car ride. Her spontaneity made my pulse thump in my ears.
Kenrya: I lifted my knees into my seat under my but so I could face her better. But I paused for a moment making my eye contact count. I've never done that before, I whispered lowly, grinning and leaning over her. If this is what she wanted then she'd have to let me play my part. I worked my hand along the shaft of her cock slowly, grinding my palm against her so she could feel everything my fingers were about to do to her. I want her to understand my intention. She groaned and let her hair fall back against the seat pushing into my hand, "Come on Stace, don't be a tease." A smile played on her face as she said it, such a corny weak line to try to persuade me, but I knew what she was doing and I couldn't help but smile too.
Kenrya: Viv put her hand on my thigh kneading me through the skirt of my dress. Her touch caused a heat in me like no other lover ever had. It was instantaneous, sparking, igniting, and then spreading all over me as soon as she placed as much as a finger on me. She knew my body better than I did. Fifteen years together and her kisses still made me dizzy. Her touch me all of my nerve endings spire rapidly until I was completely spent. She held me at the waist, spider walking her fingers up to the sides of my dress.
Kenrya: She pulled it down slowly, then slipped her hand inside catching only bare skin. I didn't wear a slip or a bra. She found out quickly just how naked I was underneath my black chiffon and sequins. She murmured deeper in her throat. Both my nipples tightened to peak as Viv trailed her fingertips over my skin. She pinched at my breasts as her fingers made their way to my sharp, stiff nipples. Rolling my tip between her fingers, she administered more for persuasive techniques. "What if the neighbors see?" I whisper. "They won't baby, I promise." Viv was right. The way she parked at the end of our driveway had us between a row of hedges with the streetlamp behind us.
Kenrya: I looked out the rear window then back at her, she must have been thinking about this for a while, me and her swaddled than a darkness of the front seat of our car. She slipped my dress far enough off my shoulder so it fell to my waist. Our breast dangled free, and she kept one in her hand, twisting and teasing me with firm pressure from her fingers. "Please, Stacey, I got a feel you on me, baby." Her voice was all tension and knots and liquid desire. I want us to prolong this tantalizing pleasure, but I was just as worked up as she was, the confined space at the front seat, the gear shift pressing into my thigh made me tingle. It had been a long time since I parked in the car and fogged up the windows with a cute girl.
Kenrya: And here we were in our after gala finery and the car outside of our house acting like two teenagers who might get caught fooling around. I wondered if this was in her plan from the beginning tonight. She took a painstakingly longer time to get ready than usual. I was well into my dress and heels before she was dressed for the fundraiser. No, this couldn't have just occurred to her on the way home. Thinking about her premeditated actions had me squirming in my seat. I unzipped her trousers with one flick of the wrist, tucking my hand inside for a quick feel. Oh, she definitely planned this little seduction. The silk of her briefs whispered against my palm.
Kenrya: She was packing something special just for me, a piston to deliver a series of long, hard strokes. How she's been so calm, cool and collected all night as I whisked her around the room of the museum, introducing her to people was such a rod in her pants? With her hand firmly tucked in mine, she hadn't given me any inclination of what was in store for me. Vivian helped me pull her cock out and on first glance at her thick member my cunt paused and a moan escaped my throat. I nibble my lips a little, wet in my mouth preparing. I wrapped my hand around a base of her cock watching Viv rock her hips slowly. I leaned in, settling into position over her. She was impatient, rocking and thrusting her hips upward to meet my lips.
Kenrya: With her hand firmly on the back of my neck, she guided me down over her. I licked the tip wetting it real good. I felt her eyes had on me and I knew she liked it when I coated her shaft in a thick layer of saliva. Viv held herself still as I took her into my mouth inch by inch. She filled my heart whole, soul completely. There was hardly any room for my tongue to work. A tongue underside of her cock as I took it in and out. I wrapped my lips around her tits, swirling and licking with my tongue listening to her cool, then took her in again all the way to the base.
Kenrya: With one hand I got the button of her trousers completely undone, freeing her. She lifted at her hips, pushing her pants further down. I continue sucking on her hard cock, sneaking my hand inside her clothes. Beneath her boxers I found her slick, so much so that her short hairs and outer lips were coded in her wet juice. I inhaled the heavy aroma of her cunt, then I played with her wetness, teasing and stroking her with a light touch. Then with the back of my fingers, I nudged and prodded her with my knuckles and took her deep into my mouth and back out again and again. Her secret held tightly behind her lips all night, must've been more than enough to arouse her to such state.
Kenrya: The feel of her silky drawers rubbing against her ass and pussy lips the entire evening, bringing her closer and closer to climax as the night wore on had made her delirious with want. I curl my fingers over her mound, spreading her lips slightly. She spread her legs wide giving me more room to slip inside. Her hips thrust into my touch pushing her cock deep into my throat. Any further and I might gag but she felt so good and smooth inside me, I didn't dare stop. I slipped a finger into her, her lips partying easily for me. Her breath huffed in and out and short choppy guffs, clouding the windows. She could try to hold off her climax as much as she wanted, but I wanted to feel her clench tight around my fingers and her hips bucking wildly. I wanted her to cum, and I knew exactly how to get her off.
Kenrya: I thrust inside her drenched cunt. Two fingers then three. She coded my fingers with each pulse inside of her. She threw her head back against the headrest grunts and a grown rising from her throat. Her sounds roar and unrestrained kept me pumping inside of her into her cry of pleasure echo throughout the hot dank car. Thumbing her clit and slipping a fourth finger insider resulted in an immediate release. She gripped my ass as her orgasm took her again. Her cunt gushed warm sat from her pussy all over my hand. "Stacey, baby, oh." She jerked as my fingertips massage the plush center of her G-spot and a come-hither flick of my fingertips.
Kenrya: She writhed beneath me so hard I banged into the steering wheel, my elbow hitting the horn and startling us boat. I let out a garbled shriek, then immediately burst out laughing her cock sliding from my mouth. Viv's booming laughter rolled off her tongue interspersed with heavy breathing. Her body shook beneath me, shaking me as well. My hands flew to my mouth, trying to stifle my laughter, but there was no reigning it in. Vivian reclined with one arm, cradling her head and the other hand tracing a line over my ear to my jaw. Even in the dark her face was bright with an ear-to-ear smile. She tried to catch her breath, sweat beads breaking out over her upper lip as I straddled her lap, pushing my high crotch into her. Hmm, I leaned in for a kiss, letting her taste herself on my mouth. Her tongue wrestled with mine, pushing and fluttering inside my mouth. Hmm, she groaned blowing over my lips. I've been waiting all night for some time alone with you.
Erica: Okay y'all, so welcome back. Damn, I just realized all I do is say, "Okay, y'all so," that's my-
Kenrya: That's your thing.
Erica: Now that we've been doing like Instagram videos [crosstalk 00:14:46] and stuff. I say, "Okay y'all so," and I realized that I say that because the caption thing that we use edits it to, okay also. Anyway, okay y'all, so welcome back. That was “Parking” by K.A. Smith, which was written in 2014. This is a short story, but we had to condense it in order to kind of not have y'all sit in listening for-
Kenrya: The whole time.
Erica: The whole time. Just a little, I don't know why I want to say non sequitur, what is wrong with me today? We're recording a little later than normal and I don't have any alcohol. I was thinking I was going to have a glass of champagne or something tonight.
Kenrya: No. Are you're off meds?
Erica: I've been off meds since Saturday.
Kenrya: Okay. Nevermind.
Erica: Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so a little summary.
Kenrya: Bitch, wait I had a dream I was drinking last night. No, you know I haven't had a drink in ...
Erica: I know, so why are you dreaming about drinking?
Kenrya: I don't know, I mean I ain't drinking like that.
Erica: Oh, you were like drinking, drinking.
Kenrya: I mean not like drunk, but enjoying an alcoholic beverage and talking to my friends, which is not a thing I do.
Erica: I realized today was the day that I got the call that it was cancer. And so I was like, a bitch deserves a little some something.
Kenrya: With your dinner.
Erica: But I want a big nasty burger.
Kenrya: Enjoy it.
Erica: Okay. We are going to tell the summary of the story, a good summation of the story. Long story short, this story is about two women. They've been together for a really long time. They go out one night to, I guess it's some fancy event. And fancy event is over, they're coming back, pulling up at the crib and it's like, "Ooh, let's get in, I'm trying to get out this girdle" But old girl's wife was like, "Uh-uh, you're going to get out this girdle, but we're going to get out of it together in the car."
Kenrya: Yeah, the throwback situation.
Erica: Yeah. And, okay, like I said, one of the things I loved about this is because it reminded me of going to fancy events for work and stuff. And literally I didn't do a lot of that with my husband, but I definitely with my girlfriends or dates or whatever. And I always remember leaving and being in an elevator with some random white couple, random person, with like one shoe off, my gut hanging over my Spanx, like, woo. I mean, you look at some other woman who was like, she'll put together and she's like, "Girl, me too."
Kenrya: There's solidarity in that moment.
Erica: It is. You know what? It is like that whole like. One of my things that I've loved lately is on TikToK. There's this audio and it's like, "Girl, I got to go, I'm doing hot girl shit."
Kenrya: Is that the one where she had her grandma doing the hot girl shit? Oh.
Erica: No. This one is just like women and they're like, "Girl, I got to go. I'm doing hot girl shit." And then it cuts to Megan Thee Stallion Girls in the Hood, "fuck being good, I'm a bad bitch." But then it was women doing like, taking off their bra. It's like, "Girl, I got to go. I'm doing hot girl." Bitch, that's why you got to follow.
Kenrya: I know I've seen that sound but the ones that I saw was like, it was one with a family dancing.
Erica: I literally sent you one.
Kenrya: There was one.
Erica: No, I literally sent you one. I literally sent you one because it was like, girl, I got to go, I'm doing hot girl shit. And it cuts to the chick and she's in the mirror popping ingrown hair in her bikini. And I'm like-
Kenrya: It me.
Erica: Yes, this is hot girl shit. I love it because it's always like some oddly specific thing-
Kenrya: The ring is really true.
Erica: ... that all women do. And that I'm like, the whole going to a gala, coming home and being like, "Ooh."
Kenrya: Get up and shit.
Erica: Let me uncase this sausage from this little brain.
Kenrya: Listen, I got to say, 2020, obviously dumpster fire, lit on fire with kerosene and whatever accelerator you can think of. But it's also the year that I may have given up bras almost entirely forever.
Erica: Bitch, bras and draws.
Kenrya: Oh yeah, now I haven't worn underwear…
Erica: I wear men's boxer briefs around the house. They're my pajama pants and my pajama bottoms or whatever. I've started just wearing them out.
Kenrya: Okay. That's [inaudible 00:20:12].
Erica: I mean, oh, no, no, not like out out, but I've worn them out under clothes occasionally, if I'm running to the grocery store and I have on a thin, I have various joggers. I might have one under joggers and I'm just like, "Erica, this is not bad bitch."
Kenrya: I mean, who cares?
Erica: But they're so comfy. So yeah, I can't even imagine going back to life.
Kenrya: I just don't, I mean life, yes sure, but not life that involves restrictive underclothing. I just don't want to do it. And yo, I wore that sheer shirt for our live show and I had to wear a bra, because I had to put the girls somewhere. And the first bra I put on, girl, it barely covered the nipple. I've gained so much weight and my titties have gotten so much bigger. And I literally laughed because the bra was laughing at me.
Erica: All you could do is just laugh this shit out like you know what. I haven't seen “WALL-E,” but the one thing that I know about “WALL-E” is that the humans in that movie, that Disney movie “WALL-E.” The humans in the movie they're all like blobs in chairs, in hovers scooters or something, because they can't move, because they literally just sit around. And I kind of feel like that's me because I'm not moving as much as I should be. And so I had my foot surgery and so I got my left monkey paw taken care of.
Erica: I'm in bed doing, not crunches but leg lifts and that kind of stuff. And not even from, I need to look good because I feel like we're all going to come out of this and just be happy we look. And then we're like, girl, that dent in your ass from sitting [inaudible 00:22:21].
Kenrya: Look good.
Erica: You look good [inaudible 00:22:24]. I mean, I think we're all coming out, are going to come out of this, just happy we made it. I don't feel like there's this-
Kenrya: Good, no pleasure, no.
Erica: ... crazy need to like ... I mean, this is me now. I'm like, later on. But right now I don't feel there's this crazy need to look a particular way. I'm so thankful. I'm so focused on the experiences and what's going to happen. And so I'm like, "Bitch, my body needs to be healthy, so I can walk to this secluded ass beach and lay out for a day." That's how my brain is thinking.
Kenrya: That's true.
Erica: I don't know how we got here.
Kenrya: We're talking about undergarments and the fact that they are-
Kenrya: ... restrictive tools of the patriarchy that are meant to-
Erica: Tools of the patriarchy.
Kenrya: Yeah, they force us into thinking that the way that our things stay on their own is not okay.
Erica: The things be thanging. I have a good amount of pasties to cover up my-
Kenrya: Well, also you don't have to wear bras anymore.
Erica: That's it. You don't need to.
Kenrya: Well, yes, this is true, but also your titties don't hang down in the way that mine do anymore. But I've also just decided I don't care. I mean, I had a bunch of doctor's appointments yesterday, did I wear a bra? I might've worn a sports bra. I've also gotten some really comfortable sports bras that I wear when I walk or whatever. And so sometimes if I feel so inclined, yesterday I had to do an EKG. I had to do all this stuff, so I was having to constantly take off my clothes. And so I was like, "I'd rather not have my nipples out and flinging around everywhere." So I'll choose a sports bra, which at least feels a little bit less restricted but underwear, no.
Erica: I generally wear sports bras to bed because I had my incident with-
Kenrya: Moving around.
Erica: ... titty moving around, my implant moving around in my chest. I generally wear sports bras to sleep just because am a wild sleeper, I move a lot. And then I wear a sports bra when I'm working out. But during the daytime, that's when I'm letting it loose. And out of this winter, so you can't like I'm wearing something heavy, so you can't see. Bitch, free the titty. Free tit. Okay. Speaking of underpinnings and things under your body, under your clothing. One of the big things that was great in this story was how I don't even remember the characters names. Oh my goodness. How the characters surprise Viv and Stacey. Okay, so Viv was a partner with the surprise. Stacey was the one narrating the story.
Erica: And so Viv surprised Stacey with a special surprise in her underpinning. She was wearing a strap the whole night, and then Stacey realized that once they got home, well, once they got parked and started their whole process. And I was like, "Oh, this is great."
Kenrya: It's like on Twitter when you open for a surprise.
Kenrya: I was like, "Hey, surprise."
Erica: Hey, open for a surprise. And I love it because it took like just the basic night and then turned it ... At that point I could just only imagine Stacey like, "Oh, shit." And went back to various points in the night knowing that Viv had this surprise for her. Oh, I love it. That was my chef's kiss. Do you think, have you done any little surprises like that throughout the night or?
Kenrya: Oh, I have. But I mean it's like lingerie that was unexpected, that kind of thing. So some with the nipples out of it or that kind of thing or crotchless or whatever. So that like once we got alone and that may not have ... they may or not have been back into a home. There was a little surprise to reveal that I was hiding all night. And what I like about it is it makes ... for me it tunes me into my own sexuality and my own feelings kind of way, so I'm bothered by the time it's already.
Erica: So by the time ... so he might even notice because he's like, "Damn, what's wrong with your [crosstalk 00:27:03]."
Kenrya: Yeah. Y'all sliding round and shit. Yeah. Also it's not just a surprise for my partner's surprise, it's cool for me too. How about you?
Erica: Yeah. With me it's really hard. I hate surprises because I like to know everything. I want to know all that's going on, I want to know what's coming around the corner. But I love giving surprises, but I'm also really horribly giving surprises because it's like, I want you to have the joy. I need you to experience this joy now. I told my brother today like, "You want to know what I got you for Christmas?" He was like, "No." I said, "Well, I'm going to show you." He was like, "No." So I did not.
Erica: It took a lot, I didn't do it. Okay. Shit. Anyway-
Kenrya: No, we've been having the same struggle on the scene. He's like, "Well, just tell me one thing and then I'll tell you one thing." And I'm like, "I like to be surprised, so no. Thanks." I literally did not, but he just wants to know so bad.
Erica: Oh, okay. My problem is I'll do something like that and then-
Kenrya: Maybe later regret it.
Erica: ... literally come out the bathroom and be like, "I ain't got on draws." Well, I mean, which is still great. I mean, well, first you're going to have no bras. Okay, whatever. But it still works because I might say it as we're walking out the door. So now you got to think about it with me. I'm like, "Okay, I got this surprise. We got this surprise. So what we going to do with it later on?" I have done that. One time, oh God, damn, sorry, I have first 48 on, and they are molly whopping the shit out of this girl.
Kenrya: Are they in Cleveland? You know they be in Cleveland.
Erica: Anyway, you know what actually, I think it is. I am almost positive, it's like a bar fight, not a bar fight, it's a club fight.
Kenrya: Very often that is how they are.
Erica: And I'm almost positive this is Cleveland.
Kenrya: It's like Cleveland, Miami police.
Erica: Yeah, Cleveland police. Yeah, Cleveland. Anyway, so one time I was out with this guy and we were, and I had bought some lingerie and so I found that different guys that I've dated have different lingerie styles. Some be like, "No, fuck it. I don't like lingerie." There was this one guy I was with who like, you know how you would see lingerie, Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie and be like, "Who the fuck would wear this shit?" He liked that.
Kenrya: I don't care.
Erica: He likes the nastier the fucking better. He wants skank. He wants like whole freak, nasty lingerie. And that just wasn't my style, but he liked it, so I buy it, well, he buy it and I wear. Anyway, so one night we were out, we were meeting for drinks or something then going to go back to the hotel and fuck. He texts me and says, "Hey, I'm pulling up. I'm in a hotel lobby." And as he walks in, I text him a link to lingerie that I had on which didn't look like-
Kenrya: Like you had, right.
Erica: Yeah. Anyway, he was like, "What's this?" And I was like, "I'll be wearing that," or something like that. And so he came in and I was in a dress and then he looked and was like, "Oh, okay." And then we were meeting people-
Kenrya: That's cute.
Erica: ... so that was fun and cute little thing to ... Because again, I want people ... I need to be like, "What you doing? You like it? You like it?" Kenrya is laughing because she knows this is exactly how I am. I was literally texting her pictures of the gift that I got her daughter for Christmas, because I'm so excited.
Kenrya: That's true.
Erica: Anyway, so yeah, I love the idea of that silent surprise and the strap was that. I'm going to try to discuss this in a non-problematic way and I will. And look, y'all ain't going to be crucifying my ass or I'm going to my edit this out if it is problematic. But anyway, during our live show we had a VIP experience for some of our very important listeners. And during the VIP experience, we did this game where we were talking about pervatables and we had people find stuff around the house. The judge was one of our play cousins, well, not even one of our play cousins of the show-
Kenrya: The play cousin of the show.
Erica: ... our only play cousin of the show. The play cousin of the show. And someone had pervatable that had a phallic object.
Kenrya: I don't know which one you're talking about, I think there was more than one.
Erica: It was ice cream scooper or whatever.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Erica: And so the [inaudible 00:32:48] shows like, look, I'm a lesbian, but I still appreciate it. And I was like, "Thank you for saying that.” And I think another ... We had a guy on that was just like, "Ooh, I didn't think about that." And so I liked the idea of how the strap was a part of the story, because it's like, just because you're ... and this is where I'm trying not to sound problematic, so stop me Kenrya, do this. But I think it was great to show in the story that just because they're two women that don't mean they don't want to like fuck a hole, right?
Kenrya: Yes. I mean, I will say of course the flip side of that is that very often people think that the only way that people without penises can have sex is to introduce a fake one, right. But that doesn't mean that having that be a part of your toolbox means that that's the only thing that you like, right. It was cool to see in this case, and it was not what they always use, right, and the way that they always see it.
Erica: And I was about to say, I feel like it was great because it seemed like it was a surprise like, "Ooh, we doing this today because we don't necessarily always do that." And also like, again, just because you're lesbian don't mean you hate dicks, like no, a lot of times dick is good, it's the person being attached to the motherfucker that's a problem.
Kenrya: Yeah. And I mean they treated the strap really in the same way that a dildo would be treated in some other story with a straight couple or whatever, it was a tool. And it was fun and it was a surprise, but it wasn't like this is the only way that we know how to get off. This is a way that we add something different in this moment to the way that we have sex, and that was pretty fucking cool.
Erica: Yeah, I liked it, I thought it was dope. And again, I loved the little sexy surprise, just like, hmm, hmm, hmm. And so kind of the main idea of this story is that this was a couple that had been together for a long time and they wanted to spice things up and do something a little different. So not only was the, "Hey, we're going to park. Hey, I'm going to hide my strap under my clothes and surprise you with it." Because they could have did that at home. They also decided to park. Did they park in front of the house or was it a few doors down?
Kenrya: In front of the house, yeah.
Erica: Okay. In my mind it was a few doors down but now I'm like-
Kenrya: It was something they had just like-
Erica: But I'm like, "Niggas don't park in front of their neighbor's house to fuck." Anyway, yeah. They decided to spice things up and I thought that was really great of Viv to think of, okay, how are we going to make this feel a little special, a little different.
Kenrya: A little risqué, add a little bit of, oh, we could get caught in here, because ain't nobody catching you in your own bedroom, little extra.
Erica: Your kids, but yeah. Talk about a cock blocker, but yeah. And I think that we ... Let's be honest, no matter how much you love your partner, shit get old after a while, it can. And so I think that I'm going to say, yeah, things can get old after a while. And so I think it's great to come up with different ways to keep things spicy. And it could be just as simple as like, we always fuck in our bed, let's go fuck in the front, on the couch. I thought that was super sexy for her to pull out the fancy car and park in front of the neighbor's house, not in front of the neighbor's house, but in my mind is in front of the neighbor's house.
Kenrya: Even if it had been in their driveway or any of that. I mean, it's just fun. I don't like to use the word, old, I like to use the word routine. I feel like it's a little bit more accurate, right?
Erica: Yeah. Because you can be with somebody for three months and the shit get-
Kenrya: Right, because you find ways that both of you come and then you just go straight to those and there's no mixing it up and whatever. And I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing the ways that work because a good ... we can both get off in 10 minutes has a very good place in your arsenal.
Erica: Yeah. Again, I don't need you fucking my brains out.
Kenrya: I don't want it actually. That's not for me because I get sore.
Erica: These tissues are delicate.
Kenrya: And they are. But yeah, like you said, a change of location can mean a lot of things, a very small variance in a position can also really change things up. All of the little tiny changes that can change the way that you relate to your person that makes it go from feeling routine to feeling really cool and new.
Erica: And I think that making use of what you got and what's around the house.
Erica: I think, especially-
Erica: What did you say? Pervatables. Did we talk about pervatables? We talked about pervatables in some show.
Kenrya: We talked about it on episode seven, [inaudible 00:38:27].
Erica: Yes. Okay. So we don't have to give the glossary again. Go back to episode seven to learn about pervatables. But yeah, I think that especially now where we're living in the age of COVID, we're living in a panoramic, I keep referring to it as a panoramic now. Now that we're living in panoramic where it's a lot more difficult, so you can't go out to the club. Because one of my favorite things to do with the partner is go out, get drunk, come home. And I mean, not that drunk is a part of it. Go out, have a good time, party and then come home and be like, "I'm going to tear that shit up." On the way home flirting, giving head in the car, that kind of thing. And because we can't do it now and I'm like, I got partners to do this with. But because we can't do it now, I feel like there probably is some routine in sex. Do you feel like your sex has become routine because of the panoramic or do you think that because you're home more, y'all got more time to like really-
Kenrya: I don't actually think we have more time because there's a kid here all the time, so no. And I don't think it's ... no, I don't. I do think that we've gotten better at popping in for the quickie. I think our first year maybe he had more to prove, and so we was having. You know what I mean? And I-
Erica: He was like, I got to imprint on this pussy.
Kenrya: Listen, I don't have to. We got a long time, we can, you know; for example, over last weekend, we went a couple of times in a day and they weren't long sessions, but God, it was just so good. And it wasn't anything extra special or out of the ordinary necessarily. It's just really nice to connect in that way, even when shit is shitty around. But no, I wouldn't say it's become routine. It's just still fun. I hope it stays forever.
Erica: Okay. All right. We'll have to pose that question. I mean, I think we've gotten a few live questions from our listeners in our grab bags and stuff about that, but I'd like to hear if people feel like being at home in this pandemic has been helpful or a little more challenging on the sex that they have with their partner.
Kenrya: Yeah, it has given us less time. I'm thinking about it, it used to be ... Sometimes we would have an afternoon session while my daughter was at school. We would have lunch and we'd have sex on the couch. We don't get to do that anymore because class is in my office.
Erica: Yeah. And I'm also thinking like, we're at home all the time, so now I see that you chew with your mouth open or-
Kenrya: Oh, no.
Erica: ... more, something like that.
Kenrya: But yeah, I bet you there are people who are a little disgusted. Like, "Nigga, oh, so you clip your toenails every time you watch this TV show. Can you do that in that room?"
Erica: Again, TikToK. Is it TikTok or Instagram? There was something that was dating before the world. It's like trying to find a cuddle buddy before we go into the second wave or into this next thing. And it's like, my name is so-and-so, these are my shows, this is how I chew. Give me the basics. Let's see if we can make it to March together.
Kenrya: Yeah, that's real.
Erica: It's the ghetto. You don't have to be happy that you're not slumming, Kenrya. You don't have to slum like us.
Kenrya: I am, I am very happy I'm fucked up on that front. This has been a beautiful thing actually being in a good relationship during the panny.
Erica: Yeah. Because honey I'm just out here just-
Erica: Yeah, damn. And the thing is like, I have a bubble, but it would be like ... This vaccine needs to come and it needs to come quick and need to like ... I was reading somewhere that we're not going to get ... they don't think we'll have a significant amount of folks vaccinated till summer.
Kenrya: Late summer, yeah, that's what I read too. That's going to be a while. And y'all we’re recording this in December.
Erica: It has been this way since March.
Erica: Okay. There were probably a lot of people in winter of 2019 that was like, "Hey, I got to get me a cuddle buddy to make it through the winter." I'm like two of them motherfuckers. I should have been thinking.
Kenrya: No, because then you could've ended up like one of these motherfuckers writing into The Read talking about, “So should I break up with this nigga now or later?” You're stuck with somebody awful, because you didn't want to be alone.
Erica: Woo. Yeah, you're preaching a word. Okay. When you're together for a while, and kind of touch on this with our guests that we have next week. But sometimes you got to be reminded of things. You lose sight of the fact that you got a bad bitch, you got a bad nigga. And I like that Viv was like, "Come on, Stacey boo. Don't forget this is some hard shit." I wanted to know with you Kenrya. I mean, I know you and your partner, maybe this is your bad, this situation. But think dig deep back about like, how have you reminded your partners in the past of like, "Oh, don't forget, you got a bad bitch." And sometimes it might be unappreciative and other times it might be like they know it and they just, like need to.
Kenrya: I don't know. I mean, I'll be honest. I don't know if in somebody's past relationships if I always remembered that myself. And then I think, and I mean I can think in some, especially after my career started kind of taking off, sometimes it'd be like events, being with them and being able to see on their face as they're watching me sign books or talk to strangers or whatever, where they're like, "Oh, I got a bad bitch." But it wasn't necessarily that I said anything. It was just that they were in an environment that reminded them that I am not just the person that's at the house with them all the time.
Erica: Yeah, I clearly remember. And I clearly remember sitting in marriage counseling, shouting at my ex-husband, "I am a bad bitch. Do you know? I'm a bad bitch." And I think it was more me realizing, remembering it, and then being like, wait-
Kenrya: “I am.”
Erica: ... I forgot this shit and you need to remember this too. But I definitely remember, I clearly remember, I can see the therapist face as I like, I think I was standing up shouting, "I am a bad bitch. You don't know what you're fucking with." Because I think also when you're ... at least for me, especially in my marriage, I got kind of, I lost myself, I lost my shine. I was just so caught up in being a wife and being a mom and all of that, that I forgot that be out and work a room, and I lost my own shine. And so that period where I was shouting to him, "I'm a bad bitch." He was also shouting to me like, "Bitch, have you forgotten?"
Kenrya: I think that is a thing that can happen. I definitely think it happened with me, but I think it was more intentional because I was married to a man who very clearly was-
Kenrya: Yes. And so if things didn't revolve around him, then it was like, let me shit on all of this. For me it was very much this situation where he was only comfortable if my light was under a bushel basket. And so I made myself very small for a while in order to dim that so that he could feel better. It wasn't until I realized what the fuck was going on and that I was out. And then all the time what he would say was, "I don't even know you anymore." And I were like, "Because I'm back to myself nigga. Go away."
Erica: Oh, that's it, that, “Yeah, I don't even know you anymore.”
Kenrya: I used to laugh that he said that. We used to call me Kenrya 2.0 or some shit at that point.
Erica: And you know what, I think that, yeah, I'm not the same person. You might not know me, but we didn't grow together. You weren't there from the growth from Kenrya to Kenrya 2.0. And so I totally, oh yeah, I know I'm not nigga. And you don't want me to be the same.
Kenrya: And I definitely don't want to be.
Erica: I think that there's a lot of growth that happens in life. And in my mind what makes a relationship magical is that you grow together. I don't think you should still be the same person. We were talking to a group of girlfriends and they were talking about shared values with the partner because we have a number of girlfriends that are married to men that are much younger than them. And one of them was like, "He could be so different in a million ways but we shared values. Because then we know what we're working towards." And so I think when you have that shared value, then all the other stuff changes, but the DNA of what the two of you are and what the two of you want and are working for stays the same. And I think what happened in my marriage is that we didn't have shared values. We had shared surface shit. And so as the surface shit started wearing away, then he was a diamond, I'm an emerald, we stare at each other like, "Nigga, I thought we was rocks."
Kenrya: That's real, and that's also accurate.
Erica: Yeah. But I mean, here's the rocks and diamonds and emeralds, so yeah. And I don't mean that we're all not gems, it just means we ain't-
Kenrya: The same kind of gem.
Erica: We ain't the same kind, we ain't going towards it, working towards the same goal, so yeah. Whew, that bad bitch, that took me back to a very specific place where I reclaimed my power as a woman.
Kenrya: How much longer was it that you cut your hair after that conversation?
Erica: You said that really shadily, but yeah.
Kenrya: I'm just wondering.
Erica: It was probably right around that time. It was either right before or right after. You know what, I think it was right after, because I remember name redacted, therapist's name redacted looking at me like, girl. Because yeah, I mean I think you just ... Oh, you got me going down the rabbit hole.
Kenrya: Thinking about all the ways that we contort ourselves for these niggas.
Erica: Yeah. I changed so much of who I was in an effort to go along, to get along, to be in a relationship, and I didn't even need to do all that. I shouldn't have been doing all that…
Kenrya: Yeah but hindsight is 20/20
Erica: And then I woke up one morning and it was like, I am this dusty bitch because I have been literally trying to force myself into this dusty bitch bin. And I came out that bitch and was like, "I'm a bad bitch. I am a bad bitch."
Kenrya: And you are.
Erica: Yeah. I'm very proud of myself for claiming my bad bitchiness. Okay. Also, before we get into what's turning us on, we are going to pay some bills and we'll be right back.
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Erica: What's turning us on this week, harkens back to our very first episode titled, “What, What, in the Butt.”
Kenrya: You just scared somebody I'm certain of it. Somebody was listening to this and making dinner.
Erica: And their kid walked past like, "What are you talking about?" Okay. This week what's turning us on is an anal trainer set. It's a five-piece master anal trainer set, so Kenrya it's all you.
Kenrya: For those of us who have anal sex with folks who are a little bit more well-endowed, you can't always just slip it in your butt.
Erica: Yeah. If you're putting a-
Kenrya: Or anything.
Erica: Yeah, I'm like, I don't even want to say-
Kenrya: Yeah, it can be a strap that is on the larger side.
Erica: If you are dealing with a ... not necessarily a wenis, not a stunt strap, but a ...
Kenrya: Which is an important designation, right? Because the first person who I successfully and consistently had anal sex with was just kind of a smedium. And so we could just slip it on in and have a good time and it was—whatever, that's not my current situation. And so I-
Erica: I love how nice you are about explaining the fact that your partner has a big dick.
Kenrya: Yeah, I try to just ... he don't care.
Erica: I'm here for that. I'm here to say that part.
Kenrya: And so I prepare when we know that this is something that we want to do next week or whatever. I used to have a set of these that I ordered and didn't realize. Okay, so there's five pieces, as he said, and they graduate in size. The first one, the little one is about a little bit bigger than my thumb at its widest part. And so I used to have a set of these that I didn't realize until I got them because I ordered them that was hard plastic. Please don't ever use hard plastic trainers. It's incredibly uncomfortable. I’m sure it stretches things out, but it's not a comfortable way of doing it and there are much better tools out there.
Kenrya: And so we actually came upon this silicone version of it while we were on vacation and we went to a sex shop, because why not? But also my boo was very frugal and did not feel like that was how much we should pay for these. And so then we ...
Erica: “Goddam that's a lot of money!”
Kenrya: Then we found them online for cheaper and bought them after our vacation.
Erica: I can't.
Kenrya: Yes. Basically what you do is ... everybody's schedule is different, but what I found is that if I start with the smallest one, let's say on Monday, I wear it for ... I don't know, long enough to masturbate or you can wear it while you do something, while you read a chapter out of a book or while you clean the house or whatever. They have a flanged edge, so they cannot get lost up inside, of course, as we always remind y'all.
Erica: Please don't let them get lost inside.
Kenrya: Usually I find that I can move from the first one to the second one the first day. And then every day, every two days you can graduate up to a new size until you get all the way up to the big boy, which I have actually not used.
Erica: Damn that's big. Wait.
Erica: I was like-
Kenrya: This is the one before it for comparison.
Erica: We're talking and I got my head down and I'm looking at something and I look up and the big one is, that's a mighty meat eater.
Kenrya: And they're just long enough so that you can practice getting past both of your sphincters, but not so long that if you're trying to do activities while they're in to get yourself stretched out that it's not uncomfortable and hard to move around or anything like that. They're super soft and pliable like incredibly so. And you just stick it up there and leave it up there. And then they also are good for just using them during play. If you are having sex, vaginal sex, but you also like to have a little backdoor action going at the same time, you can pop one of these in there just like a butt plug and use it at the same time. So you make your own DP situation.
Erica: Jesus Christ, that large one is large and in charge.
Kenrya: Yeah, I have not made my way up there.
Erica: Because, okay, so as we can see, this is a Killa activity, and that she's the one that-
Kenrya: That this is what’s turning me on.
Erica: ... pick this one. Yeah. She has experience with that. And so I saw the link, it's a cute little set. And I was like, "Oh, I might have to get this," that last…
Kenrya: Nobody says you have to get to the last one.
Erica: That's for special people.
Kenrya: You can get quite [crosstalk 00:58:58].
Erica: But I mean like now ... But I've seen a big one, I'm like, “Challenge!”
Erica: Okay, well.
Kenrya: The best-
Erica: That was the good one.
Kenrya: ... [crosstalk 00:59:11] this week.
Erica: All righty. Well, that sums that up. That sums up this week's episode of The Turn On. It is Erica and Kenrya, two hoes making it clap. I was trying to do a song so we could clap together-
Kenrya: We did clap together.
Erica: ... but obviously.
Kenrya: We didn't?
Erica: No, we didn't.
Kenrya: Oh, I was silly, let me put my arms down.
Erica: Yeah, put your arms down. All right, that's [inaudible 00:59:44].
Kenrya: Yo. All right, y'all.
Erica: ...before, I forgot I had it, just was looking for something to put on. Look at you. All right y'all, peace out. Peace, fish, hair grease, bye.
Kenrya: Fried fish.
Erica: Oh, no. Bye.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, then drop us a five-star review and you'll be entered to win something, that's turning us on. Just post your review and email us a screenshot at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and you'll gain access to lots of goodies, including The Turn On BookC and two for one raffle entries. And don't forget to send us your book recommendations, and your sex and related questions. And follow us on Twitter at @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you soon. Bye!
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.