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In this bonus episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya answer a few questions from their grab bag.

The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.

​Transcript:
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

Erica: Welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. So you know, sometimes we got to just give y'all just the tip, just a little bit of it. So today we are going to give you a Quickie episode. This week we have come up with some interesting questions. They're not too wild. Hopefully they'll give us some interesting answers for us to answer. So I will start.

Kenrya: That sound is-

Erica: That's me pulling from the grab bag. We just talked about this. Do you have a sex ritual? We talked about before-sex ritual. Do you have a post-sex ritual?

Kenrya: Well, I mean I have this ritual in general. So I take a shower. I brush my teeth. My partner goes to get a towel because-

Erica: He sweats a lot.

Kenrya: He sweats a lot. I juice a lot. It's just a mess, and I always want to-

Erica: Girl, I got some them waterproof pads in the back. I'm going to get you some.

Kenrya: Oh, chucks? But I will run through them. I need like-

Erica: Oh my.

Kenrya: It's, I mean it is what it is. Or if we're on the couch, my couch is leather and that shit be cold, so a towel is good. Even though I still got to like Clorox the whole fucking thing by the time we done.

Erica: My whole face is just turning. I love you, but I'm just like, "Ooh honey."

Kenrya: There is a process that usually happens. And then after I pee because nobody wants a motherfucking UTI, and then I jump in the shower.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: Yeah. And that's that. Oh and then in between, one of us is like, he usually gets in the shower first ’cause it takes me a while to be able to actually pee. And so then when I'm in he's washing off whatever toys we use like putting everything back. Because if we don't do it right away, then what ends up happening is my kid comes home, and walks in my room is like, "What's this?" So we try to put everything away right away.

Erica: All right.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: My sex ritual is pretty much same thing. Shower, brush my teeth, sniff tests. Or shower or just wipe down the bits, also because like I don't want you to putting your face in my coo-cat.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I don't want you thinking like, "She just ran to the bathroom." That kind of thing. Post shower, I always pee. Or post shower, I always get up, I get a hot rag, wipe myself, wipe my guests, which is always... Except one time I was dating this guy he was like, "You always got to wipe. Why can't we just lay here nasty." And I'm like-

Kenrya: Yeah, I've had men say that too.

Erica: Yeah, but-

Kenrya: I always get a rag if it was like just a straight up oral session, but otherwise we just lay there until we get up and go get in the shower.

Erica: No we, I always get a warm rag. Because it's the little chocolate. You know how you get a little Andes mint after dinner?

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: On top.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: It's like the fortune cookie after a meal.

Kenrya: That's nice.

Erica: Like, "Here you go, just to warm rag for your balls."

Kenrya: I do that if I have like gone in and then it's just like-

Erica: A puddle.

Kenrya: Yes. Then I go get a rag.

Erica: One of the things that I am super obsessive about is my skincare routine.

Kenrya: You can go through all of that.

Erica: And if we in the middle of the night and I'm giving some sloppy toppy and-

Kenrya: You go wash your face again.

Erica: I get up and I do 60 seconds, tone-

Kenrya: Your fingertips, yeah.

Erica: Serum, moisturize. Put on my wave cap and durag and I put on my Vaseline on my lips. I do my skincare routine drunk, high, always my skincare routine. And if I'm drunk or high it gets even better cause I lose track of time.

Kenrya: So you probably be fingertip massaging for three, four, five minutes? No.

Erica: Yeah, I am like super obsessive about it all. Like making sure my skincare like you know, you got some like bomb dick if I like just fall asleep and I usually wake up-

Kenrya: I say you probably wake up at 1:30.

Erica: Three in the morning, like, Oh let me take care of this real quick. So yeah, no real rituals other than just a general hygiene. But I always got to do my skincare.

Erica: Okay. I just threw Kenrya hers.

Kenrya: Tell me about a time you were super petty in a relationship. She's laughing ’cause I don't know. I mean I have a petty streak, but not necessarily when it comes to a romantic relationship.

Erica: Like usually when I'm in a relationship, either there was docile Erica that was just like, okay. Or Erica now that's like, I don't give a fuck. I'm not putting my energy into your petty.

Kenrya: I don't need to be petty. I just say it and keep it fucking moving. Now, I'm petty with bitches. I'm petty like if you stop fucking with somebody, I stop fucking with somebody. But then your ass like to double back and be friends with people again and I'm still like, “Fuck that bitch.”

Erica: I know. I know.

Kenrya: You keep doing that. I be trying to support you.

Erica: You do. You do.

Kenrya: I be cutting off whole bitches.

Erica: Whole. So my biggest thing, I mean, I don't think I'm like, yeah, I'm not a petty person, am I?

Kenrya: No.

Erica: I'm generally not petty. I am-

Kenrya: You bought me a petty tee shirt though.

Erica: The dog farted. That shit is acerbic.

Kenrya: So glad he over there.

Erica: It gets in your down your throat. I'm not very petty now. I'm not a petty person. My sister, goes down in like-

Kenrya: The petty fucking world-

Erica: Hall of fame.

Kenrya: Yes, she is fucking fantastic.

Erica: I remember she told me that this, her ex his, he kept trying to double back and you know, try to get that old thing back and every time we would send her a text, my sister would screenshot it.

Kenrya: And send it to his woman. Right?

Erica: And she would send it to his woman, her brother and her mother. With messages along the lines of you must not be fucking your man right because he keeps trying to holler at me. Things along those. Or she'll like post shit to like their wall on Facebook or she would do really petty shit like post things his Facebook wall, to the family's Facebook pages saying look at what your man doing trying to be with me. So yeah, I'm not petty, but if I truly needed to be petty, I would probably call my sister, who is like queen petty. I'll get this one. What was the strangest date you have ever been on?

Kenrya: I've been on a few dates that I didn't know her dates. So maybe those? Yeah, I mean I don't know. I guess one of them was, I mean I think I've talked about some of them. Like one of them was a dude who kissed me and I ran and that was a white guy and did not know it was a date. And then there was a white guy who I had been interviewing for a job and then I ended up, they ended up not hiring the position.

Kenrya: I talked about this on a show and then it just occurred to me part way through that this nigga was trying to date me as opposed to just talk about a volunteer opportunity. That's really it. I can't pinpoint anybody being weird on the day.

Kenrya: Now, there was the nigga where we were in a casino in the middle of the night after going to see a movie. And then he told me that he was glad that Bill Cosby didn't get caught after the first time that he raped a woman because then we would've missed out on all his Black excellence. And I was super fucking triggered and got super anxious and cussed him out and left and then it was over.

Erica: I would've been afraid to drink anything around him. Like you fucking weirdo.

Kenrya: Had not had anything to drink. It was like two, three o'clock in the morning and I was so fucking freaked out. It was that bad. So maybe that?

Erica: That doesn't sound very good. I'm trying to think. I mean I've had some odd dates, like I remember one time we ended up, I went on a date and we went to like a cousin's- I'm sorry. I remember one time we went on a date and we ended up at like a little cousin's birthday party or some shit. It was like a family thing and it was like, “Oh, we're going to go out, but let's stop here.” And then I'm at somebody ’lil back yard. It was like a backyard birthday parties, little kids in a corner doing the stanky leg and I'm like, dressed in like date wear. So I'm like, who's the whore that's so-and-so brought with him next to the pinata? So. Yeah, that was definitely, but you know when you young and dating it's hard to... It's hard when you're young and dating, it's hard to like... It's easy to end up in like, at a strange date because they usually start off like we just gonna hang out and then you be hanging out. Like where the fuck am I?

Kenrya: And niggas ain't got no plans. They don't put no forethought into it. So you just end up places. Which can be fun with the right person. Those can be the best days with the right person. But with a fucking weirdo...

Erica: The questions on the floor y'all. There it goes.

Kenrya: All right. All right. What is your favorite physical attribute in a partner? That dick. No, I like a nice smile. I do. I like him-

Erica: No Instagram teeth?

Kenrya: No. Not a fake smile. No, just a nice, like it hits the corners of your eyes. Your shit is twinkling smile. Like where you just genuinely look-

Erica: You got your side teeth.

Kenrya: Yes, you have. You have your side teeth. But no, we already just, when you see somebody smile and this, you can just see it's genuine and it's warm and you can tell that they are fun and having fun and maybe like they selves.

Erica: You know, there's this guy that I'm dating and he has, when he laughs it's a little strange but he doesn't like, he laughs, it's not like he's trying to say, you can tell he's genuinely-

Kenrya: It's like a full belly laugh.

Erica: He's genuinely laughing and I love that because it's just like you're just having, you're not thinking about, you're like genuinely just like-

Kenrya: In this moment.

Erica: Yeah. And I love that about him. And then it usually is because of some shit that I said. So I'm like, Ooh, let me do this. How about this? Let me tell you this joke. So yeah, that's really dope. I like teeth. I like teeth. I like a smile. I like skin. Like, and it just, yeah. I like skin and don't have to necessarily, I mean, I'm not like a, Ooh you have acne cause shit happens, but just, you have a glow about yourself. Look like you drink some water. I know this sounds so simple, but yeah, like just like a good healthy, like just moisturized and that kind of thing. Skin, but smile is up there too, I just didn't want to do the same one because also your dental health-

Kenrya: Says a lot about the rest of your health.

Erica: Yeah. Cause I feel like teeth are often overlooked and it's easy to just be... Wash your balls.

Kenrya: No, I remember I wrote an article for somewhere about how your teeth are like really the window to your health. Like, yo, you got a yuck mouth.

Erica: I was talking to the dude and he was like, Oh, I just got a new Waterpik. I'm so excited. I was like, so would you like my pussy now or later?

Kenrya: I got a new one too that I'm opening today. I'm very excited.

Erica: I don't have a Waterpik.

Kenrya: My dentist, the dental hygienist was like, let's go ahead and, ’cause I have trouble with the flossing in the very back. So now I've got a Waterpik. I'm excited to use it. I just, my mouth is little. It's hard to get back there.

Erica: What's different? Killa needs something special.

Kenrya: I know.

Erica: Okay. What is the best gift you've given a partner?

Kenrya: Ooh, so it's interesting because, receiving gifts is not high on my, I think it's the lowest thing. Maybe has zero on my love language thing.

Erica: Which is why you'd never sugar.

Kenrya: Oh yeah. Maybe it's just not a thing for me. But I love to give gifts. I love to like pick the right thing for somebody. What's the... So I got my current partner, you said things I've given, right? I got my current partner a pair, so he collects shoes and I got him a pair of these shoes that he missed out on. The shoes that he likes, they drop and you got like five minutes to get them and then they be gone. And I got him a pair, after market, of these shoes that he missed the first time around and I like stalked them all year. He tried to get him last April and I stalked them all year and got them for him for his birthday and he lost it. Like, yeah. It was nice and I had like carried them on a plane out of town and gave them to him and all of this stuff.

Kenrya: But it was totally worth it for him to wake up on his birthday and for me to give him to him. But I've given my ex-husband our first Christmas together, he told me about when he was a kid and he had a recorder and he was the youngest in the family and I guess he was making too much noise and somebody took it and hid it and he always like wanted to learn how to play the flute. I got his ass a flute for our first Christmas together. I just listen really well and I like to, when someone is least expecting it, give them something that hopefully means something to them.

Erica: All my good stuff comes from you.

Kenrya: What about you?

Erica: My ex-husband really liked cars, like he loves cars and so I got him one of those dream ride things.

Kenrya: Oh, like where you can go and drive your-

Erica: Yeah. So you spend like an entire day.

Kenrya: Ooh, that's a good idea.

Erica: Traveling. Oh, it's great. I'll give you the website. You go up there and you spend the entire day. It's like a day long and I have like 15 different cars and you're like driving through the hills and all that stuff. And so you drive a certain period and then everybody gets out and swaps. So not only are you in this really cool car but you get to experience all the cars and then you like stop someplace and have a really beautiful lunch and that kind of thing.

Kenrya: That's dope.

Erica: So I thought it was really cool ’cause I, again-

Kenrya: You put thought into it.

Erica: Like it's nice when you can think of they like and get them something. Because most people, most adults, like there's nothing like that they need or like, there's nothing that I want. I mean I always keep a list of locked and loaded. Like, do you need tier A, B or C? But I mean, but even then it's like, just knowing me and getting me something that you're like, Ooh, she would like this. Like that's really cool. And so when I feel like I did that really well, like my ex-husband, our first, his first birthday, our first birthday of his together. He's a big guy and he was like, I need a good robe. I can never find a good robe. So I like went and found like, I went to a big and tall shop and got one of them big fluffy spa robes and he loved it. He was like, “Oh my God, it's a robe.” It was like 80 bucks, but it was still just a really good-

Kenrya: Thoughtful gift. That's dope.

Erica: Okay. Well, this wraps up this week's episode of Quickie. Quickie number one. Hopefully we, no, this isn't quickie number one. I'm sorry. I'm just counting shit up. Hopefully you enjoyed this week's Quickie. We put the tip in. You let us get two strokes and now we're out. Two hoes making it clap.

Kenrya: That sounds awful.

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lstic. The theme music is from Breezy. We want to hear from y'all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions that you want us to answer to TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com and please subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast app. Follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at TheTurnOnPodcast and find links to books, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at theturnonpodcast.com and remember the Turn On Podcast is part of the Frolic Podcast network. You can find more podcasts that you'll love at Frolic.media/podcasts. Thanks for joining us and we'll see you soon. Bye.

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SHOW NOTES
In this bonus episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya answer listener questions.

Resources:

• FetLife

The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.

TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

Erica: Hey, you all. Welcome to the Turn On podcast. This is the Fourth Quickie. So Kenrya and I are silently away bubbling at and brewing up the season two. However, here we are with a little quickie to quench your thirst, wetting your bussy-

Kenrya: Is that the sound of quenching a thirst and wetting a bussy.

Erica: Yeah. Wetting a bussy and giving you a little bit more to keep you coming back for season two.

Kenrya: Yes, bitch. I like that. That was unexpected.

Erica: Okay. So, this week's quickie is going to be a mailbag episode.

Kenrya: Ay.

Erica: Ay, ay, ay.

Kenrya: Shout out to the folks who care enough to send us questions.

Erica: Yes. So, we have a few questions from our mailbag that Kenrya will read and we will give our advice.

Kenrya: It should be interesting.

Erica: Yeah. This will be interesting. So Killa Ken-

Kenrya: Let's get it.

Erica: ... Start that shit off.

Kenrya: Okay. So our first question comes from, I need a name for a chick. It looks like she's probably about our age.

Erica: Donquetta.

Kenrya: All right. Okay, so this is from Donquetta. "I've been with my boo for seven years, married for five and we used to have amazing sex, like climbing the fucking walls till the cops come knocking sex. But lately I can't front, things are a bit boring. We do the same old positions in the same old spot. I can set my clock to when he's going to reach for me and for the 15 minutes that it's going to take." Yikes. "We need to do something new. I suggested bringing toys into the mix, just like a vibrator or something from my stash. But he's real anti. But I'm bored and I'm not trying to masturbate my life away when I got a nigga in the bed next to me every night. How can I convince him to let me liven things up?"

Erica: So I feel like we're going to have such different responses.

Kenrya: Do you think?

Erica: Yeah. Okay. So I think that one, I think you need to get him in on the toy selection action.

Kenrya: Oh that's good.

Erica: I think that sometimes men think of toys and then they think of 15 inch Black rubber dildos and I think that if you can get him in on the action of selecting a toy, he might be a little bit more receptive to it. Because I think there are some toys for beginners. I remember I have this little ... It's an eggy shaped ... It's an egg shaped vibrator.

Kenrya: I have one of those. It's called a Limón or some shit.

Erica: I know what you're talking about. Mine is not like that, because I was looking for yours and could not find it. But I have a little eggy shaped vibrator and I got it from one of those bedroom candy parties and the lady was like, "This would be good. It was good for you as a vibrator. But maybe if you're giving him a head, put it under his balls and maybe the vibrations will add a different sensation." So I think maybe if you just bring him in on the action, he might be a little more receptive and show him, it doesn't have to be anything super different. But just something a little different. Also, this made me think about just using stuff around the house like a pearl necklace or-

Kenrya: Have we ever done that?

Erica: A pearl necklace?

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Yeah girl.

Kenrya: Oh because didn't you all take a-

Erica: We took a blowjob class.

Kenrya: I didn't go.

Erica: That was the only good thing. Now, necklaces have little point little-

Kenrya: I feel like it would snag hairs.

Erica: Yeah. So you got to keep it high. Keep it high. But you know what I mean? Also, if you take the pearls and drag them across your body and drag them across your pussy and rub it across your clit, it just adds a little extra sensation. Because I think sometimes we feel like it has to be something completely, dramatically different in order to change things up and it could just be something very different. I mean, very small. That'll just click something and make it just a little bit better. So I say bring him in on it and then also think about things that you might have that doesn't make it feel like we're using a toy. But "Oh look, the necklace I took off from work, let me drag this across my pussy" or also another thing, let him lay in bed and watch you masturbate.

Kenrya: Yeah. That's one of my things.

Erica: Oh sorry.

Kenrya: No, it's good.

Erica: Because then he will see this is my friend and this is your friend. This can be our friend.

Kenrya: Yes. Okay. I thought those are great.

Erica: Thanks.

Kenrya: I think this is funny. Because this is where we ... So first, I think you need to have a conversation. I know. Don't roll your eyes at me.

Erica: No. I do think communication is important.

Kenrya: Yeah. The reality is you're not happy with your sex life right now. You clearly love this dude because you didn't say shit about cheating on him.

Erica: He's trash.

Kenrya: Yeah. So tell him that you're frustrated. Just be honest and say, "Hey, look. We don't have to do nothing crazy. But I would like to do some new stuff and mix it up. You probably do too." And ask him, is there something he wants to do that you all haven't been able to do.

Erica: A fantasy.

Kenrya: Yeah. Is there something that he's always wanted to do. But been afraid to say something or maybe something that he saw in a porno that he might want to try with you. There may be something that's under the surface there that he hasn't said, that you all can bring out and use to your advantage to be able to mix things up together. But I think honesty works and helps and direct conversations. Also just a plus one, which you said about toys, I would also say look for couple toys. Something that doesn't replicate a penis. Because I do think that oftentimes that's where the anxiety comes in, where they feel like you're trying to replace them.

Erica: Nevermind the fact that it's pink and glowing and has-

Kenrya: On fucking purpose.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: That's why. Exactly. But something-

Erica: My favorite dildo is realistic than a motherfucker.

Kenrya: I don't own any dildos.

Erica: Oh.

Kenrya: I used to have a little pink one. It was neon pink.

Erica: No. Mine is a big, Black dick. Well, a big, brown dick. He's got veins and everything.

Kenrya: Does it?

Erica: He is gorgeous.

Kenrya: Mine had veins. But it was only maybe seven inches, it wasn't big enough. But it was a vibrator. But it was a dildo and if I wasn't careful that, it would just go inside. I don't even know where it is anymore.

Erica: Probably at home in your daughter's...

Kenrya: Yeah. A couple of times now, she's taken my toys. That's why now they sit higher than she can see.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: It's trifling. A-plus parenting.

Erica: They're all pretty. Yeah.

Kenrya: But something that doesn't replicate a penis, I think might go over a little bit easier in the bedroom. So your point of finding something around the house or something like that and then things that don't need to be inserted. So my little feather duster.

Erica: Yeah. I was thinking about that.

Kenrya: Yeah. It just heightened sensation. It's sexy enough that it feels like you're doing something extra and it absolutely, these for me, brings all the ... Just makes me tingle when it's used. It'll heighten your sensation and hopefully not threaten him in some kind of a way.

Erica: You know what? Also, the couple's toys where he has the little remote control vibrator where put it in you and then he gets to play with it. So it's a total, you get your thing and he probably getting off on feeling like he's doing something.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: So, yeah.

Kenrya: It's not lost on me that all of this is us just trying to navigate around toxic masculinity.

Erica: Pandering a nigga.

Kenrya: Yeah. The fact that-

Erica: You're right. How do I make him feel better about-

Kenrya: Yeah-

Erica: ... Having an open mind.

Kenrya: ... About me wanting do something and so a part of me is just like, fuck it, yo. Just buy what you want and bring it in and do what the fuck.

Erica: No. I-

Kenrya: Is he going to walk away if you laying there with your pussy open and a vibrator on your clit? Is he? Really?

Erica: So, I get it. I hear you. I feel you. Because yeah, a part of me says like, fuck that. If you aint down, I'm going to be down. But shoe on the other foot. There could be reasons that he ... If he's one of the nigga that's-

Kenrya: Which is why a conversation is good to have.

Erica: You're right. Because if he's one of those niggas like, I aint trying to handle no another dick in my bed. Nigga, fuck you. But if it's just like, I'm uncomfortable because-

Kenrya: Right. He's not there.

Erica: We all have really weird ideas-

Kenrya: Ideas.

Erica: ... About sex.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: ... And so if it's one of those things and I think it's worth having a conversation and helping him figure it out. But, yes. I don't want to have to trick a nigga into fucking me well.

Kenrya: So I guess-

Erica: Starts with conversation.

Kenrya: Right. If the conversation is just, "I'm a man and all you need is this dick and if this ain't getting it then I don't know what. Something's wrong with you." Well, then you all got to have a whole another situation.

Erica: Yeah. Dump the motherfucker already.

Kenrya: Now. Exactly.

Erica: In the words of the great Dan Savage, Is he problematic?

Kenrya: He's a white man?

Erica: He's married to a Black man-

Kenrya: So, what?

Erica: ... I was about to say, which could be that he's not problematic or he's problematic as fuck and -

Kenrya: Yeah. That don't mean shit.

Erica: ... I'm married to a Black man. But anyway, he always says "dump the motherfucker already."

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: So, yeah.

Kenrya: Or in the words of Crissle and Kid Fury…

Erica: Break up with him.

Kenrya: ... "Break up with him."

Erica: Yeah. All right.

Kenrya: Marriage is cool. But we both been there and did that.

Erica: Girl.

Kenrya: Then you deserve to be with somebody who actually wants to make you cum.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Not 15 minutes of missionary sex that you don't enjoy. If you enjoy 15 minutes of missionary sex, well then shit. Then you're all good.

Erica: I like 15 minutes of sex even missionary for 15 minutes.

Kenrya: But you just wrote in and said that you don't.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). So, okay.

Kenrya: Yeah. That's our advice.

Erica: Hope that helps, Donquetta.

Kenrya: Was that her name? Okay. Good luck. All right, here is another one. This one's a little tougher. "I'm pregnant and also I'm horny. One more thing, back when they became a couple, I spent a lot of time giving Seal, the side eye for getting with Heidi Klum when she was pregnant with her ex's baby." Okay. I get it.

Erica: Yeah. I get it.

Kenrya: "Minding other people's business, I felt like he was going where no man really needed to be going until after the baby was born. Now I'm older and less interested-

Erica: The tables have turned.

Kenrya: Exactly. "Older and less interested in what other people do and I'm also trying to find a man with Seal's adventurous spirit, who's happy to have sex with a woman with the baby bump that he had nothing to do with creating. Do those men exist and where do I find them? and more to the point, how do I make sure he's not just fulfilling some creepy fetish? To be clear, I don't want a relationship. I simply want some fun, casual sex and I'm not sure if this is unrealistic to want, at six months pregnant."

Erica: So-

Kenrya: Oh. We didn't give her a name.

Erica: Pregeisha.

Kenrya: Okay. Hey, Pregeisha.

Erica: Hey, Pregeisha. Okay, here's the thing. I was rocking with you until you were like, I don't want to be a fetish.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I get it.

Kenrya: Because that's the easiest way to go.

Erica: Yeah. Because I get it. As well Black woman, if I were to be with a white man, I don't want to be some white man's fetish. He'd be like, I want this Ebony goddess. However if I just wanted to fuck a white guy, I wouldn't-

Kenrya: You wouldn't give a shit.

Erica: ... Even give a fuck if he was a fetish.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: So I feel like maybe you need to get past the is this a fetish thing and just be like, you got a big dick? You know how to fuck and shit maybe if it's a fetish, this nigga know what he doing.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: Maybe it's-

Kenrya: He knows what positions work well.

Erica: Yeah. You were going to the pregnant pussies-R-us. We specialize in keeping them maintained and detailed. So, I would get past the, is this a fetish thing.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: It'd be different if you were trying to form a lasting relationship. Okay. Then check into it.

Kenrya: And with it, even if it's a fetish, you still have power. You still to dictate.

Erica: Yeah. It's not like squirt milk on me.

Kenrya: He's not allow me to say ... Exactly.

Erica: Okay. I aint doing that.

Kenrya: And if you don't want him to say, put your big round belly, you can say, nigga don't say that or this is over.

Erica: Because you know what, I think about doms and women that do dom work and they are there to fulfill a fetish and most Dom's aren't doing it because they are ... You like the money. But you're in it because you get something out of it too. So get your something and fuck what he getting.

Erica: You control the situation. This is yo pussy, it's yo pregnant belly and again, if this nigga is really into it, he probably knows how to treat it right. So I say that and then I say to find one, FetLife.

Kenrya: I was about to say, whats our resource?

Erica: I've been on FetLife lately and honey you can find any mother fucking thing on FetLife. I had a nigga messaged me and asked me, will I save my toenails and mail them to him.

Kenrya: Oh.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Okay. For how much?

Erica: Yeah. He was offering...details, anyway. We'll talk about that later. You can find anybody on FetLife for anything and not on some this is some creepy seedy underworld. I'm on FetLife and I think I'm a pretty neato person. So I think they're normal people. It's just I have a very specific kink and I'm looking for someone that can meet me with this kink. So I say girl, Pregeisha, hit me up, DM me. I will give you some tips on establishing a semi-anonymous FetLife account and we can get you rocking and rolling. Because girl, don't it help to have orgasms when you're pregnant?

Kenrya: Oh man. Well, that's when you're trying to actually start labor. It helps to have all that at the end.

Erica: Well shit.

Kenrya: But no. Things are really extra gushy and super wet.

Erica: Yeah. So you missing out on ... Girl.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: You getting them stretch marks, might as well get some good sex out of it.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: You're probably going to really fluffy, fantastic baby out of the situation too.

Kenrya: Yeah. I don't have anything to add. I think you're exactly right. I was going to ask what's your resources and you just gave one, damn. All right. Well.

Erica: Yeah. That's it.

Kenrya: Good luck Pregeisha. We're excited for you and your little one and hope you get some dick.

Erica: Please get some dick.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Because when that baby come-

Kenrya: There aint going to be no time.

Erica: Girl. Just-

Kenrya: Yeah. Really, focus on your needs. Because you about to be all the way focused on the baby's needs.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: Just have sex. Just have sex.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: Yeah and don't use Bumble or any of those kinds of things.

Erica: No.

Kenrya: That's not the place for that and I think it could be, while you can probably find somebody on there, the mindset is different there. Because you just want some one night or an arrangement or whatever.

Erica: Yeah. I feel like on Bumble, guys feel like that they have to, or on the dating apps, guys feel like they have to-.

Kenrya: They got to play game.

Erica: Yeah and it's like, no-

Kenrya: I just want that.

Erica: ... Just give me some sex. Yeah.

Kenrya: Maybe Tinder's like that. I never used it.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: All right. Here's another. Okay, it's another woman, I need another name.

Erica: Paint a picture for me.

Kenrya: I can't. I don't want to ... I'll give it away.

Erica: Dawn.

Kenrya: Okay, Dawn. All right. "I'm Dawn. I'm in a relationship with a straight man. We've been together a year and things are amazing."

Erica: Boo. Sorry. Sorry for ... My condolences. Sorry.

Kenrya: Sorry for that man. "We are really good together and the sex is consistently amazing." Okay.

Erica: But.

Kenrya: "But something happened and I don't know what to do. I didn't realize he was in the bathroom and I opened the door and I saw him wearing a pair of my underwear while brushing his teeth. I apologized and closed the door and didn't say anything. Now it's a day later and things feel awkward and I don't know what to do. Help. Dawn."

Erica: I actually like this.

Kenrya: I know. I'm not mad.

Erica: I'm not mad at all.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I just think that you need to clear the air. First, how do you feel about it? Are you comfortable with it?

Kenrya: Why does it feel awkward? Is it because you didn't say anything or is it because you're concerned about something?

Erica: Yeah. But if you like wearing my panties, cool. Savage is having a good old-

Kenrya: Buy us some underwear.

Erica: ... A good old sale. So get us some good shit.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: The thing is, I don't think I necessarily would want to see my man in my ... Cross-dressing or I don't want to see him ... I don't want to see my man in my stuff. But if that's what you'd like to do, if that makes you feel comfortable, then by all means. Because I want you-

Kenrya: I want you to be comfortable and be yourself.

Erica: Coming out of a marriage that I was in and forcing myself to conform or be a certain way for the sake of saving this relationship or being with this person. That shit was misery.

Kenrya: That's right.

Erica: Misery.

Kenrya: And who wants to be with a miserable nigga? Nobody.

Erica: Yeah. If this brings you happiness, if this makes you feel good. You know what? There's some things that I probably do, that you like, this weird bitch. So if that's your thing, then fine. So I say just, at first figure out how you feel about it. Why you feel the way you do. But then make it quick. Because you all can't be walking around for six because-

Kenrya: And do this today.

Erica: Yeah. Because you don't want to have this built up.

Kenrya: Right. Awkwardness in your relationship.

Erica: Because I feel the awkwardness will then further-

Kenrya: Because he's thinking you're judging him and-

Erica: ... further your connection-

Kenrya: create distance between you and him.

Erica: Yeah. So figure out-

Kenrya: Figure out how you feel.

Erica: ... and say some shit.

Kenrya: And let's talk about a little bit. So you and I are both like, okay. That's cool. Why you hide it. Sorry I walked in on you. I need to knock on doors.

Erica: Yeah. I'm sorry I walked in on your personal time.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: That's also one of the things where I feel like, if my partner saw my porn ... There's only one person I've ever disclose my porn search history to and it was somebody who was having sex, I'm really having really comfortable good sex with. But generally no, dawg. That aint for you. That aint-

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: ... And I tell y'all everything. I just told you how I got a nigga trying to buy my toenail clippings and I ain't got cute toes. But, that's asking a white person who they voted for. How dare you.

Kenrya: What did I tell you about fucking their wife.

Erica: Yeah. I was fucking my wife. Wait, you asking me who I voted for it. Yeah. So, I do not share my porn search term history. But if my partner found out, I would want him to be more, him or her, to be more comfortable with it. Then being eh. So that's how I feel about the panty saying. But if you're not careful,

Kenrya: If you're not, then you need to interrogate why you are not. You started out by saying you're in a relationship with a straight man. So, that tells me that you think that he's straight. I hope that you're not questioning his sexuality and that you can separate what you wear from who you want to have sex with-

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: ... And also from who you are with. Because even if he did identify as something other than "straight", that has nothing to do with the fact that he's in a committed relationship with you.

Erica: Yeah. Yeah.

Kenrya: So I would hope that there is not fear creeping in for some reason and if it is, it's you interrogate that and ask yourself what that is about and what that has to do with the relationship that you're having. Because you just said it was great.

Erica: Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree with you on all those points.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So yay.

Kenrya: And then if it's his thing, then buy some underwear together.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Make it fun.

Erica: Or if it's his thing where he doesn't want you to be a part of it-

Kenrya: Then respect that too.

Erica: ... respect that too.

Kenrya: Exactly. But still say something to him so he's not thinking-

Erica: Yeah. You all got to say something.

Kenrya: Because I'm sure he just waiting on you and it probably feels like torture.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Poor baby.

Erica: I'm waiting on her to dump me.

Kenrya: All because you opened the door without fucking knocking.

Erica: That's your fault, Dawn. No. Yeah.

Kenrya: So yeah. Go say something, boo.

Erica: That was a good one.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: And I love it. I would love to know that my partner's got some little ... Well most of my partners ... I'm a freak. So most of my partners would be like, I'm nasty and this is how.

Kenrya: Yeah. My partner's-

Erica: We roll out the nasty on date three. But-

Kenrya: Right. I have a lot of weird stuff-

Erica: ... After the first fuck.

Kenrya: ... So who the fuck am I? Who's to say that that's weird. But you know what I mean?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Unexpected things, perhaps. Things that you wouldn't look at me and think that are my thing. Right?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: That once you're in, it's like, okay, bitch. I see.

Erica: Yeah. Oh. So this is what we're doing today.

Kenrya: But if you have a reaction that's other than that, then I feel judged-

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: ... And I'm not hanging around to be judged.

Erica: Exactly. Exactly.

Kenrya: That's not it.

Erica: And don't try ... I feel like if you feel like this is something that you can't handle.

Kenrya: just say so.

Erica: Get out.

Kenrya: Don't punish him or make him feel like he's less than because there's something that you don't rock with. It doesn't mean that there's not somebody else out there who will. Like us.

Erica: Send him my way. Okay. So this wraps up our Fourth Quickie-

Kenrya: Of season one.

Erica: ... Of season one.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Thank you all for joining us. This is Erica and Kenrya. Two hoes, making it clap.

Kenrya: Two hoes, making it clap.

Erica: We hope you enjoyed this week's Quickie. We're hard at work on season two of the Turn On and finding fantastic books to share and amazing experts to join us in the studio and we're counting the days until we return on January 1st. In the meantime, keep hitting us up at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and burning sex and related questions and follow us on Twitter at TheTurnonPod and Instagram at TheTurnonPodcast. So you don't miss a minute and remember the Turn On is a part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more podcasts you love at frolicmedia/podcast. Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon.