LISTEN TO THE TURN ON
Amazon Music | Apple Podcasts | Google Play | iHeart Radio | Pandora | Radio Public | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | YouTube
CONNECT WITH THE TURN ON
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Patreon
This week, Erica and Kenrya talk to author and show fave Jodie Slaughter about the joys of lube, antidepressants and orgasms, being a pillow princess, why terrible people are always willing to jump into relationships and why you need an Aries on your team.
Guest, Jodie Slaughter | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
Foria | Website | Discount Code: THETURNON10
"A Taste of Her Own Medicine" by Tasha L. Harrison | Bookshop | Amazon
"Shots Not Taken" by Nicole Falls|Bookshop | Amazon
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Kenrya: Hey y'all. Thanks for coming back. Today, we are talking to ... when I say podcast fave, I need y'all to understand, this is real.
Kenrya: There's only a couple of y'all that are like fam and yes.
Kenrya: So we're so happy to have you back. Who am I talking about? I am talking about Jodie Slaughter, pronouns she and her. Yes. Jodie is a 20-something romance author who's lucky enough to spend most of her days hunched over a computer writing love stories. While her back is definitely suffering, listen, mine too, she wouldn't have it any other way.
Kenrya: She loves love, so her novels are full of heart, passion, and heat. When she isn't putting steamy scenes or declarations of devotion on the page, she can normally be found being generally hilarious on Twitter, dreaming about brisket, or consuming way too much television. Hey girl!
Jodie Slaughter: Hi.
Erica: Yes, voice.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes, I'm just trying to get like you, girl.
Erica: Girl. Kenrya's like, “Hello.” And I'm like, "Ahh."
Jodie Slaughter: I know. I know truly.
Erica: So before we even get started, we have a small celebration because, when Jodie was on last time, she was like slaving, doing the nine to five, just working, working for the man. Now this bitch den got a deal, and this hoe done quit her job, and she's just living the dream.
Jodie Slaughter: But I'm also like, "Okay y'all, you can't rob me yet." This is like fully the work of like savings from my other job. The fact that I live in Kentucky and like deal stuff. I am not living a high life.
Kenrya: Yeah, because that book money is slow, slow.
Jodie Slaughter: I drive a 2006 Saturn Ion. Like it's okay. But ...
Kenrya: But you're making it happen.
Jodie Slaughter: I absolutely am, and I'm very glad I don't have to make it happen going to work every day.
Erica: Well, we are proud of you. I was saying like, "Jodie's like baby sister, like-“
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Erica: So, so happy to see you escaped the clutches of the man and you are like fully pursuing your dreams and making us happy as well as our nibbly bits.
Jodie Slaughter: Beautiful. Nibbly bits.
Erica: Let's jump in. When do you first remember masturbating?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, since you know I was thinking about this I think pretty ... well, I guess, I was going to say pretty early, but I guess I don't know. I think I hear a lot of like cis women talk about how they didn't discover masturbating until like college. But I think I was like 11.
Erica: So here's the thing, most of the women that we interview for this, they're all like young too.
Kenrya: I was always like a toddler.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. I think that's what I remember, but very well may have been a little younger than that, but definitely like 11.
Erica: Okay. What was your preferred technique?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, I was a teddy bear humper, 100%.
Kenrya: There's so many of y'all.
Erica: So many of us were teddy bear humpers. I was a Minnie Mouse humper. There was a Teddy Ruxpin humper.
Jodie Slaughter: I had two. I don't know where I got this little white bear because the nose was hard. I'm sick. And I'd be going, I'd be like, "I'm the only one. The nub, it had a hard nub nose, right?
Erica: Literally, someone said Teddy Ruxpin, and he had a hard nose.
Jodie Slaughter: And then I used to like bend it in half. One day my granny came home with this giant Shrek that was like about ... it was like quite big and a giant donkey. And my sister took the donkey and I took the Shrek, and there were definitely times I would switch between good old teddy bear and Shrek. Yeah. I had that Shrek long after I stopped humping it, probably until I was like 21, I think. It was like such a comforting thing to me. I slept with it every night.
Erica: Well, I think that this shows that we all feel like, "Oh my goodness, I'm the only person, as a kid, humping my ... We're all doing the same thing. We just-
Jodie Slaughter: I was fully like, "Oh, I'm deviant. Something is not-
Erica: ... Like the rest of us.
Jodie Slaughter: Thank God. I think I didn't ... I actually did that for a very long time. I didn't like actually like touch myself with my hands until ... well, yeah. I mean, even after I'd already explored with other people, I would masturbate, but not touch myself, like hand on vagina, until like 15. There was something about it that was always like, "This feels scary, or I don't know what it feels like." I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like-
Kenrya: it's harder too. I think.
Jodie Slaughter: Well, yes.
Erica: It's easier to sing the background accompaniment than acapella.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Well, right. That's true. Yeah. That's true. So yeah.
Kenrya: No, that's real and very common, we're finding out as we're talking folks. I was a pillow girl. Like everybody, they use [inaudible 00:06:04].
Jodie Slaughter: I tried some pillows, but it was never enough. Do you know what I mean?
Kenrya: Our couch had the perfect pillows.
Jodie Slaughter: Do you know, what's so funny is, I hear ... you hear all those jokes, like on like sitcoms and whatever, about like teenage boys like putting their penis in between the couch cushions and people like, "Boys are so crazy," and I'm like, your daughters are humping everything in the house.
Kenrya: Every time you go to sleep.
Jodie Slaughter: Constantly.
Kenrya: Right. Go to sleep. Take your ass to bed.
Jodie Slaughter: Like, truly.
Kenrya: Lord. So how old were you when you had your first kiss?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, probably I think 13. Yes, 13.
Erica: Was it a [inaudible 00:06:55] or a ...
Jodie Slaughter: It was a tongue kiss. Actually. Some of my first like real sexual explorations with another person was with, at the time, I'd like moved to a new school for eighth grade and made this like incredible new best friend. And she was, ... I don't know, she just ... I mean, she changed my life like fully. That's when I was like, "Oh, well maybe I'm not a straight person." But yeah, so my first kiss was with her. And she'd kissed before, and she was like, "Tongue. There's tongue here." So yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: She said, "Keep that little muah away from me."
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah. She's like.
Kenrya: The fuck is that?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yes, literally.
Erica: Okay. So how old were you when you had a sense of your gender identity?
Jodie Slaughter: That's actually such an interesting question because I'm like I'm a cis woman and I think I have ... there have been times, I think, as a Black woman, when I've definitely felt the need to like affirm that, or like present it in a way that's maybe a little over the top so that, for some reason, people recognize me as a woman, not a cis woman, just a woman. But I do remember being like ... so I used to straight backs when I was like little-
Erica: I remember the story, the straight backs and the pink Timbs.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Like six, seven, eight. Yes, I used to have straight backs, and I went on vacation with a best friend's family, And we were at like a LaQuinta inn at the little continental breakfast thing. And this old white man called me little boy.
Jodie Slaughter: And I remember being so like horrified, hurt, humiliated. I don't know, like just not feeling good. And I think that was the first time, because I think before that I was just like, whatever, I'm just a blob floating around. And all of-
Kenrya: Until somebody fucking misgendered you.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. And then I was like, "No." And then I also never wore straight backs again after that. It was like I was not used to putting my foot down about my hair. Like I said, my grandmother was a hairdresser, she made all the decisions about my hair, and she was like, "Well, we're putting you in straight backs for the summer because you're wild as hell and I'm not doing your hair every day.
Jodie Slaughter: And I remember going back home and being like, "I don't want to wear those braids anymore." And I never did again.
Kenrya: That fucking white man taking away your protective styles.
Jodie Slaughter: I know, right? And now I literally don't know how to like corn row. Do you know how handy it would ... it would come so in handy right now to be able to like,-
Jodie Slaughter: And now I don't know how to do it because I was like-
Erica: Come on over. I'll do your hair.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm coming.
Erica: Come on over.
Kenrya: She can't braid.
Erica: I can't?
Jodie Slaughter: It doesn't matter.
Erica: [cross talk 00:10:11].
Jodie Slaughter: Period.
Kenrya: Okay, you had your first kiss at 13. How old were you when you first started like experimenting sexually with other people? Like was that kind of the kickoff or was it just kissing for a while?
Jodie Slaughter: So, actually, it was just kissing for a while. But my friend and I would have phone sex.
Jodie Slaughter: And not sexting.
Erica: This was the start of your career?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes, actually. I think, and it's also totally where I got my like ... I have like a big dirty talk kink. Like it's one of my favorite things about sex. It's one of my favorite things about writing sex and actively having it. And I think it very much does reach back to ... and this, like I said, this wasn't sexting and I didn't have ... this was like 2008, I didn't have my own cell phone. So we would be like ... I'd be like on my grandparents' landline. So it was like very risky.
Kenrya: Anybody could have picked up that receiver.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Yes. I had my own phone in my room, but yes. Not my own line or anything. Yeah, so we'd always do it like at night, and that was sort of like it for like a while. Then when I was 16, I actively had sex with a boy. But also, I think, before that I did a lot more like exploring with like my mind and myself, and not so much ... I definitely had friends that were like, "Okay, well first you get fingered, and first you do blow jobs, and then you have sex," but mine was kind of like, "Well, okay. I'll just have sex and then," I guess I was like, "We'll get to that later." So yeah.
Erica: Okay. So tell us about the first time you had partnered sex. How old were you? What was it like?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, the first time I partnered sex was with cis boy from my high school. I was 16 years old. It was fine. I had already like penetrated myself, so it wasn't especially painful. Also ,he was like a teenage boy, so it's not like ...
Kenrya: He was working with a whole lot of [inaudible 00:12:49].
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Right. So that was like pretty fine. I also had a pretty keen understanding of what turned me on, I think. Like I'd been reading fan fiction by that point, writing it. Like smut. So I had a pretty like ... also like phone sex. I had a pretty keen understanding of like ... I mean, the limited view that you have as a 16-year-old, when it comes to sex. Like, I was pretty ... I was like, "Yeah."
Jodie Slaughter: But it was nice. It was like very unassuming. I didn't have an orgasm during like the penetrative sex, but he fingered me before and I did have an orgasm. So I was like, "Okay. "
Kenrya: Oh. Cool.
Jodie Slaughter: And that was fine.
Kenrya: [inaudible 00:13:35].
Jodie Slaughter: Like, yeah. It was fine. But we spent like a little while having sex, and then it ... it got like ... I mean, it was two teenagers having sex, but you know. Yeah. So better, quote-unquote. It got better.
Kenrya: As time went on?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Yeah. I want to say a little under a year.
Kenrya: Oh wow.
Jodie Slaughter: We slept together. Yeah.
Erica: Oh, okay. T.
Kenrya: That's like a long time in teenage years.
Erica: Teen. Yeah. That's like y'all about to get married.
Jodie Slaughter: I was very-
Erica: [inaudible 00:14:16] everyone.
Jodie Slaughter: That's fair.
Erica: [inaudible 00:14:20].
Jodie Slaughter: That's fair. I've always been like, "Wow, that was such a short time," like sort of looking back on it. because you think about that time through the seasons of like when you were in school, and then like when you were not in school, and when you were in school again, that type of thing.
Jodie Slaughter: But yeah. He was like hot, sad boy. Do you know what I mean?
Erica: Yes. Just what the angsty teen needed.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.
Kenrya: That hit the spot.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: I think about how many people ... I mean, there are folks who I was in relationships with in high school, whose names I don't remember, who lasted for, I don't know, a week where we was going together.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, that's fair.
Kenrya: When we walked to class together. You know what I'm saying?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: So I can't even think of nobody that lasted that fucking long.
Jodie Slaughter: I mean, that's so interesting because I'm like, ... now I'm like, "Okay, I'm comparing like what my dating life is now to then." And I was never a, "Let's be my boyfriend/girlfriend type of ... and actually, I'm going to say boyfriend because in high school, even though I knew I was bisexual, I would not have dated a girl publicly, to be honest. It would've been, that was like terrifying to me, and caused the fallout ultimately of me and that friend.
Jodie Slaughter: But I was never a ... I had this one boyfriend and like kind of just because I didn't know how to say, "No, I don't want to be your girlfriend," so I just said yes. And like, to his credit, he ... I, genuinely, even looking back on it with like fresh eyes, he like wasn't forceful. I think we literally, we dated for like six months when we were 15, we kissed like once. That's how much I was not ...
Jodie Slaughter: And then I was like, "Yeah, I think I'm okay on the boyfriend thing." So this guy wasn't my boyfriend. I mean, we'd like go to Wendy's and have sex at his mom's house.
Kenrya: Whatever that means as a kid.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. But he wasn't my boyfriend and I, in high school, I did not have ... I didn't really date.
Erica: Okay. So what three words would you use to describe your sexual experiences from your teens? In your teens.
Jodie Slaughter: Fast. Experimentational. Experimental? Either one, one of those. I'm a writer. And funny.
Erica: You want to tell us more?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Well, fast, I think for pretty obvious reasons. But also, I always like to ... I have been lucky enough to not have tons of issues orgasming. I'm a pretty hair trigger type of person. Well, I mean, not like, but- yes.
Kenrya: You know what you're doing.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. So, I mean, fast because you know, for obvious reasons, like he wasn't lasting long and I wasn't either. Experimentational because this would've been like 2011, so I was definitely just getting on Tumblr and learning about ... I was actively trying to like ... thinking about certain kink things that I was like kind of just learning.
Erica: All right, go Tumblr.
Jodie Slaughter: I know, right. Right?
Kenrya: They did that to their selves.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. 100% fully self-immolation. And he was like kind of just along for the ride, do you know what I mean? He was like, "Yeah. Okay." I mean, he wasn't like hesitant. Like I wasn't like, "Okay, we're doing this," but like spanking and stuff like that, like light stuff. But I was like, "Okay, I'm into this, and maybe I kind of don't like this," or some things I learned that I just didn't like. With him, whatever.
Jodie Slaughter: And then funny because when I think back on it, I think about how hilarious it is because like buying the condoms was always like a big deal, and I wasn't on birth control, so I was like, we're going to use a condom, but you're also going to pull out." And it was just like, I it's just like a ... it's like sitcom shit to me when I think back on it.
Jodie Slaughter: But overall, like nice, I think, generally.
Kenrya: Word. Yeah. That's pretty dope. And also really, I, I think that perhaps people maybe would think experimental makes sense as teens, but also, I think a lot of folks don't actually experiment very much when they're that young.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. That's right. And now, granted, I was poisoned by the internet young. I think that is a really like important part of the specific spaces I was inhabiting online from like age 12-13, on. Had their absolute definite drawbacks on poisoning my brain, but also on like sort of making me feel comfortable having like autonomy over my own pleasure. So yeah.
Kenrya: I'm struck by ... so you know we're 40, and when we were in our teens, we had AOL dial up.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: And we had to put, fully put a fucking DVD into the machine, and you had to connect to your ... put your phone cord in the back of the computer, and go through the whole situation. And so, we didn't have all of that. When we get Google ... I distinctly remember getting Google when I was in undergrad-
Jodie Slaughter: Getting Google.
Kenrya: Yes. I remember in writing class and my teacher-
Jodie Slaughter: I remember getting an email address.
Kenrya: Well, I had an email address. I had an AOL address.
Jodie Slaughter: I think I was born with an email address.
Kenrya: My kid was, yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: When I was in high school, my best friend, who is still one of my best friends, had an AOL ... @aol.com, and we used to make fun of her because we'd be like, "It's 1200, why do you have an AOL email address?"
Kenrya: And there are still people who do.
Jodie Slaughter: I think she's kept it for prosperity's sake, but-
Erica: Yeah, at like at this point [inaudible 00:21:28].
Jodie Slaughter: We're like, girl
Kenrya: I had to email somebody for something the other day and it was a Hotmail account. I was just like, "Hey."
Jodie Slaughter: How is that possible?
Kenrya: Listen, that's just their [inaudible 00:21:38].
Jodie Slaughter: At hotmail dot com
Kenrya: It's just still real. But I'm struck by the way that technology really did play a role. Even if you hadn't necessarily been in those specific spaces, the fact that you could. We just didn't have ... we had, turn the TV the right way and maybe you can see some Skinemax at night. Right? Like we just-
Jodie Slaughter: Well, that's actually also a thing. We had all the channels, and we were also one of those families who had like ... there was a TV in my room. So we got like HBO. So I would watch-
Kenrya: “Real Sex.”
Jodie Slaughter: “Real Sex.” And then I would also watch “The L Word,” which was like incredibly sexy. Well, there was a lot of sex. I'm looking at this through like every 27-year-old eyes, trying to, a few months ago, trying to go back and rewatch the old one and being like, "Oh my God."
Erica: [inaudible 00:22:34] again.
Jodie Slaughter: But also, there were these movies that would come on, like anything that had sex was like titillating to me. Have you guys seen “Not Another Teenage Movie”?
Kenrya: Yeah, I think so.
Jodie Slaughter: It's like a satire comedy parody of like teen movies from the late nineties and early two thousands. And so a lot of it is like, if you watched it now, whether or not you find it funny, a lot of the sex jokes are like overwrought and like ... it's satire.
Jodie Slaughter: I fully remember like being very excited if I would flip through the channels and that movie would come on, because I'd be like, "Oh, I'm about to get horny because there's a legit scene where like an elderly woman is making out with like a woman who's like 20. And I remember being like, "Oh," because it's one of those things where it's just like it's sex. And so it's like, "Oh my God. Wow."
Erica: They're doing it, they're doing it, they're doing it."
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, literally. If a movie talked about sex, I was like, I was all over it. So that was very much a part of it too. But yeah.
Kenrya: Wow. So then our follow-up question is what three words would you use to describe your sexual experiences in your twenties?
Jodie Slaughter: Lord. Better. Actually, that's hard. And I should have thought about these, but I was like thinking all day and I was like, "I don't know. I'm I'll just do it on the spot and it'll be fine." Okay, so better-
Kenrya: It's hard.
Jodie Slaughter: It is hard. Hard. No. I think better, intimate, in a way that they were not before, and assured, confident, something along those lines. Better, just because, obviously, the more sex you have, the better you care about yourself, the ... when you get partners who give a about like making you feel good, obviously the sex is going to be better, and who know what they're doing.
Jodie Slaughter: What was the second word I said?
Kenrya: Oh. Better. Shit.
Jodie Slaughter: I literally-
Kenrya: Your last one was assured and confident.
Jodie Slaughter: Me too.
Kenrya: The second one was-
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, intimate.
Erica: Oh, yeah. because I was like, "Ooh, that's a good one." Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: In my twenties, is sort of like the first time I'd experience like love in sex, or even, if not love, just like deep, deep fondness and like feeling like I was being cared for. And so I think a lot of the experiences were significantly more intimate, even if they were like simple, like two people missionary in a bed, under the covers, like than some shit I did when I was 19, where like- One hand on neck, one hand on frontal.
Kenrya: Has its benefits, to be clear.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh. Oh. Please do not misunderstand. Why are you being weird to me? And then, just so for sure, just because I ... and this is actually recent. This is like in the past year or two, I do feel sex, to me, has felt better, the better I felt about myself. So yeah.
Kenrya: I love that.
Jodie Slaughter: Thank you. I'm glad.
Kenrya: So you've told us about your first time. What's another experience that really ... like I think we all have experiences that maybe were kind of not so great. But what's something that stands out to you that you are ... like the kind of thing that you just sometimes flash back to and remember fondly.
Erica: What you got to call upon when you doing the do, when you're masturbating alone. Ooh, that one time.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, do you know what? Okay. Actually, so we're going to get into my very ... because there's a question on here where we're going to get into my very bizarre masturbating thoughts, but I'll bring it up, I don't think about sex I've had when I masturbate.
Erica: Oh God.
Kenrya: Oh, I don't either, actually. Not really.
Jodie Slaughter: And I feel like most people are like, "Oh, I just think about that." And I'm like, "No." I also don't think about people, like specific people really. But anyway. So, but okay.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm going to, because this is a thing that has been bolstering me in the past weeks, and it's an experience that I had actually relatively recently, a few months ago. And I think it's so significant to me because I hadn't been touched by another person in like ... or do you know what I mean? That wasn't my mom or my sister, in like a year and a half. Hadn't been like kissed, hadn't been anything. And then in like May, I decided, "Okay, well maybe like we're vaccinated, maybe we can like start like dating. And so I had this like brief fling with this man and it was like totally fine. It was nice.
Jodie Slaughter: We went out on a date and after we like eat lunch, we're sitting on this bench and he just kind of brings up how on the ride there, because he came and got me, actually, he'd been thinking about asking if he could touch my thigh, but didn't because he didn't know if that would be too forward. And I was like, because I ... a couple days before that the date had already been planned, and I had dreamed about him touching my thigh in the car, and I woke up and was just like so horny, I could hardly move.
Jodie Slaughter: And I was like, "Oh, this is how like touch starved I am. That was what ... And so, whatever, when we get back into the car, I take his hand, I put it on my thigh. Anyway, worst comes worse ... I mean, not worst comes to worse. He fingers me in the car and it's maybe the best orgasm I've had in like a good long time.
Jodie Slaughter: And so I've been thinking about that for weeks, because that is no longer. And I think it's just like it's not that it's the best thing I've ever done sexually or the best experience I've ever had, but it just stands out to me as sort of like the pure euphoria that I felt after going so long without, and also we kissed as a well, so without ... for just like was kind of ... I'm not sure I'd ever like really felt that before. And I was like, "Wow, I'm really going to appreciate sex in a different way coming out of a pandemic."
Kenrya: Yeah, that's real.
Erica: I need that in a short story. Like the dream, the date, the ask, and like I just ... Give me a short story, please and thank you.
Jodie Slaughter: It was very nice. And he ... I mean, not to like, because like I said, that's no longer, but he was a pretty big dude. He was like six-three, and was training for like strong man competitions. So he lifted logs.
Jodie Slaughter: You know what I mean? Or like they have imitation logs. Yeah. And so his hands were like very rough and callous, and like fat, like meaty fingers. Turkish fingers. Wait, that's awful. But it was nice.
Erica: You are writing this. You're writing this. Your description ... please and thank you.
Jodie Slaughter: Anyway-
Erica: That's all I'm going to say.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: And it's a good reminder, right? That people can flit in and flit out, and [inaudible 00:31:47].
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. And give you experiences that are like, that I will ... I think I will be thinking about that moment for, maybe, forever. I just feel like, spent the pandemic ... now, obviously there was a pandemic and there was a million other things going on. There was like my own mental health, and so I'm ... you're just like being wound tighter and tighter, and tighter, and tighter. And it didn't take a lot for me to like have this incredible euphoric release. And I was like, "Wow." So yeah, that one.
Erica: That's beautiful. I'm here for it, for you. I'm here for it. So what does your sex life look like right now?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh God. So my sex life right now is like ... It's not nonexistent, but ... okay, so I'm on Prozac. I'm on an SSRI.
Kenrya: Listen, we just had this fucking conversation.
Erica: I had to come off because it killed my pussy. My pussy was dead.
Kenrya: And my neurologist had tried to put me on it. And, E, I didn't even tell you this. I talked to her, I was like, "Yeah, my bestie said that it killed her pussy." I was like, "I don't want it," and she was like, "Okay. We'll find something else."
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. No. Fully. Okay, so I have a recent OCD diagnosis. What I thought was a generalized anxiety disorder is actually obsessive compulsive disorder. And so-
Kenrya: I was about to say. I got GAD, she got OCD.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: Hey girl.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen. And so, right now, the Prozac is like the best thing for me. But, no, and it literally sucks having to like ... but it hasn't killed, it's just that I think I used to be like-
Kenrya: it's a harder to come now.
Jodie Slaughter: Masturbate like every ... it's harder. It's harder, for sure. Like I said, hair trigger. I can for like 40 minutes until I have an orgasm. Like rub myself raw. And I'm normally, I'm the type of bitch who's like, "All right, I need to go to bed in 10 minutes. Let's get one out in three so we can sleep." Like, that's how I used to be. And now that ... and part of me does wonder if that's largely because I've, not become bored with myself, but I do wonder like, "Okay, how is it going to be if I introduce a partner and have someone else stimulating me?"
Kenrya: Or a new toy.
Jodie Slaughter: So yeah. I'm like ...
Erica: You don't like toys?
Jodie Slaughter: So analog. I do, but I'm very sensitive, and so I find that like the suckers, I can't. They hurt. And I'm not ... I enjoy being penetrated, like during sex, and then being fingered and stuff. But when I'm masturbating, I'm not really-
Erica: Straight to the clit. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. It's like that's not-
Erica: I have a toy to show you when when we're over.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. Yes, please.
Erica: You know, I think that that's ... I'm happy that you're talking about this because I think so many people, like with me, when I started Prozac, I felt like a new person. I was like, "Yo, is this how normal people live?" Like everything calmed down-
Jodie Slaughter: And then your libido is like, "We're going to go all the way down too with the-“
Erica: [cross talk 00:35:38]
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Erica: I think that
Jodie Slaughter: Serotonin goes up, we go down. Exactly.
Erica: But I also think it's important that we remember that we can have it all. We deserve it all. So if that mean you got to holler at your doctor and say, "Hey,-
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, 100%.
Erica: They kind stepped me down on Prozac and we were trying something else. So I, so I didn't feel the like-
Jodie Slaughter: Cut off. Extreme-
Erica: Didn't feel like I felt before. but yeah, girl. That-
Kenrya: All that to say that it may be worth you having a really frank convers- ... like I said, because of what she told me, I went to my neurologist and was like, "I don't want that. Let's find something else." And so maybe you can find something that gives you that calm and that peace, but also lets you still be able to come in three minutes.
Jodie Slaughter: Literally.
Erica: Because I also will say-
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, I honestly should.
Erica: I had those same questions. I was like, "Well, my broke." Is it because ... like is partners? Is it toys? Like what is it? And then I was working out, I changed my diet, all of this, because I was like, "It's got to be something." No, it was the Prozac.
Jodie Slaughter: It's the Prozac. Fully, it's the Prozac. When I went on Prozac, I think I genuinely ... it wasn't ... I knew that it was like a side effect of SSRIs, in general, but I was like, "Oh, well. Maybe it just won't happen to me." So I tried to just not think about it. And, yeah, that's not ... I mean, because I'm trying to ... I mean, I know people say cuffing season doesn't exist, but it does. And it's about to get cool and-
Erica: It does.
Jodie Slaughter: And I'm trying to get cuffed, over and over and over again.
Erica: I want my butt to hurt from something other than [inaudible 00:37:39]
Jodie Slaughter: I bought a Theragun in preparation.
Kenrya: I have one too. Nobody in my house likes it except for me.
Jodie Slaughter: It feels so ... it's beautifully painful.
Kenrya: Yeah. My partner was always like, "Oh no."
Jodie Slaughter: Yup. You're so tense. I remember like I was with my mom. You know you're just like laying in your mom's bed or whatever, and she like tried to must massage. And I was like, "Ugh!" And she was like, "How are you this tense? How is it possible? And I was like ... But yeah.
Kenrya: Same. But I like it.
Jodie Slaughter: I love mine. Love it.
Kenrya: So okay, we were going to ask about masturbation later, but I feel like we should ask about it now. So what ... I'm guessing you're not still using your little white bear or Shrek, so is it just digitally? What's your thing?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. I tend to go analog, with my fingers. What has helped me, the Prozac with like ... is using lube. Which like everybody should be using lube. It's fantastic.
Kenrya: Yes. It is. It makes everything better.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, that is one of those things that's not actively like promoted if you're like a cis woman. Like you know what I mean?
Erica: [inaudible 00:39:03].
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, in your twenties.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. So I found that that's worked. I would love to get my hands on a cannaube. I think it might change my life. But anyway. Yeah. And so I tend to just like analog, but I-
Kenrya: I want to say Foria has, I mean they-
Jodie Slaughter: They do, they have the CBD, don't they?
Kenrya: Yeah. And it's I have ... I looked toward this room because it's right ... Mine are right over there.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh really?
Kenrya: Yeah. Their lubes are actually pretty damn good. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: Have you tried the suppositories?
Kenrya: Yes. I use them all the time. So we use For- ... we both. Yeah. And I have a ton of Foria in here.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh bet.
Kenrya: So the suppositories I use for two different things. I use them when I'm on my period because I have dysmenorrhea, and it is incredibly painful, and so that helps. I insert those vaginally to help kind of calm everything down. And then I also use them anally to help open things up. And they are both lovely.
Jodie Slaughter: Do the capsules come out or do they just disintegrate into your body?
Kenrya: They disintegrate.
Jodie Slaughter: Beautiful.
Kenrya: I find that it's good to put them in the fridge for a few minutes before you start because they soften so fast that you want to make sure you can get them all the way up in there before they start to fall apart.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kenrya: You put them in the fridge for 10 minutes before you go, and they just melt very lovely.
Jodie Slaughter: That's always the only thing I was terrified about when it came to suppositories. I was like, "Am I going to have to like root around for the little [inaudible 00:40:38]
Kenrya: No. So you open a little plastic and it is like a little-
Jodie Slaughter: Oh.
Kenrya: If I could get up and get one, I would right now, but it's like a little thing and then you just stick it up in there.
Jodie Slaughter: Beautiful.
Kenrya: It smells like cocoa butter.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. Because I have gotten some Foria CBD on your recommendation before, and I did enjoy it, but I think I realized that like regular CBD for like taking it just like orally, just kind of wasn't because you know ... This is like pretty good enough for me.
Kenrya: And it's more effective when you pair with a THC product.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. But which would be great, but I think I'm going to try their lube out.
Kenrya: Good. Definitely. Yeah. And they, they just reintroduced their vape pen too. Because apparently they had to stop shipping it because UPS and FedEx won't, but they're shipping that too. And I have one of those and it's pretty dope.
Jodie Slaughter: Ooh. Okay. Okay. I'm going to get some. I'll let you know how it goes. I will.
Erica: Use our code so you can save some money.
Jodie Slaughter: I will. You have to tell ... is it, do you do I know what it is? You have to send it to me.
Erica: THETURNON10 is the code.
Jodie Slaughter: THETURNON10.
Kenrya: There you go.
Jodie Slaughter: Beautiful.
Erica: I literally sent a recommendation to someone this morning.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, good.
Erica: They're like, "I knew you'd have something."
Kenrya: Yeah, no, it's actually really great product. I still have those bath salts I haven't used yet.
Erica: I haven't used the bath.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yeah. Sexy bath.
Erica: I'm going ... I have a little tiny bathtub, but I'm going on a ... going away, and so I'll have a big bathtub-
Jodie Slaughter: A sneaky link?
Erica: Girl, I wish. I'm going to the Sex Down South conference.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, where is that?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, of course. Literally, where else would it possibly be? Yeah.
Erica: Black freaks. It's still open in spite of everything.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Atlanta.
Erica: Even with the CDC in their backyard, but that's neither here nor there.
Jodie Slaughter: The CDC will be there too. You think it won't be hell if CDC [inaudible 00:42:48].
Erica: You probably right. You probably right. Are there certain times of day that are best for you to have sex?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. I like ... whatever it is about like 6:30, I got so much energy. It's like 6:30 PM.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Jodie Slaughter: So much energy.
Kenrya: I had to take a nap. Y'all so we are doing this interview, we got on at 6:30, I had to take a nap. Okay, I have chronic fatigue, so if I don't take a nap, then I'm all fucked up. But like, yeah buddy, that nap, because otherwise y'all my eyes wouldn't even be open right now.
Jodie Slaughter: 6:30 is great for me.
Erica: That's your magic hour.
Jodie Slaughter: Especially because I'm also one of those people who's like, "Okay. The logistics of like having sex at like 10:00 PM Are like, "Okay, cute." Right. But then I don't want to shower at 11.
Erica: Yeah. I got to wash my face. I got to brush my teeth.
Jodie Slaughter: I have to wash my face. Yes.
Erica: I got to do my hair. You know, put my hair up.
Jodie Slaughter: You've got all that stuff. It's just too much. It's too much. 6:30 is beautiful. Middle-
Kenrya: If the world were open and you were going on a date, are you like a, "Let's have sex before we go to dinner," kind of person?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Always. I'm a let's have sex before we cook dinner, let's have sex before we order dinner. Yes. Yes. G.
Erica: Let's get this out the way.
Jodie Slaughter: It's literally the most perfect ... it's like sex followed by food.
Kenrya: Yes. Yeah. I'm really fond of ordering dinner and then having sex, and then being able to go get the food from [inaudible 00:44:33]
Jodie Slaughter: Right. When it's ... Yes. Yes. Let's talk about contactless delivery.
Erica: Yeah, it's like, "Leave it on the porch, honey. I come get it when I get it."
Jodie Slaughter: Exactly.
Kenrya: That shit might be cold, but it's okay. I got an air fryer.
Jodie Slaughter: Period. Same.
Erica: How long does a session typically last?
Jodie Slaughter: Masturbating or partnered sex?
Erica: Like partnered sex.
Jodie Slaughter: Ooh, I don't know. I guess that like kind of depends. It also, like when I'm with ... if I'm having sex with women, it tends to ... I was going to say meander, but that sounds like monotony, and that's not what I mean. Just, it tends to last a little longer, just because like ... I don't know.
Erica: You're able to-
Jodie Slaughter: Bitches are horny. Like that's, you know?
Jodie Slaughter: I mean, fully, men are less horny. If I'm with like a dude, I think a good like 35 minutes is fine. You know?
Kenrya: You're like that's [inaudible 00:45:48].
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. No, no, no, no. I mean, not unless, like if I'm really keyed up, you know what I mean? Like not, well I think that means something that maybe I didn't mean to, for it to mean. If I'm just like kind of wired. You know what I mean? And honestly, sometimes maybe if I'm like quite anxious or if I'm ... Like if we've had a wild night out, I'm actually not one of those drunk people who falls asleep right then. Like I probably can go for like an hour, hour and a half. Like that type of thing. Because I don't get like blackout, I get like to the point where I'm like, "This is fun," and then I stop.
Jodie Slaughter: So I do guess it kind of depends, but my general preference is like a good 35 minutes.
Erica: Okay. Where do you typically do it?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, here at my place. Not in the bed because I don't ... I mean yes, in the bed, but I'm not trying to wash the sheets constantly and like I am a millennial, so I only have two changes of sheets. So I mean, it's like sheets are expensive and I have my favorite two pairs, so I just cycle back and forth.
Erica: Listen, I have my favorite one pair.
Kenrya: [cross talk 00:47:13] we're ... Right. I'm like we're ... what do they call us? Geriatric millennial.
Erica: Yeah. Geriatric millennial.
Jodie Slaughter: That's fucked up.
Kenrya: It is fucked up. Because we were born in '81, so we're right there. And I literally, I have probably five sets of sheets, but I have two favorites, and I just [inaudible 00:47:32]
Erica: I have like three ... no, I have three sets, one favorite, and most of the time, it's is the favorite that get like the wear.
Jodie Slaughter: Just the rewash.
Erica: Wash them and put them back on or whatever.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Fully. I like the couch. I have a big couch. I like the floor.
Erica: Them good young knees.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. That's true.
Erica: I literally, when you said the floor, I was like, "Oh, my knees."
Kenrya: I want to say it's been a while since I tried the floor and it definitely hurt.
Erica: I literally started like popping my knees, like, "Ooh, girl." I was doing ankle rotations and shit.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm screaming.
Kenrya: This what you got to look forward to, and it doesn't mean it's not [inaudible 00:48:16], it just means you got to know your limitations.
Erica: Put a pillow down. Just put a pillow down.
Jodie Slaughter: Put a pillow down. Well, I still do that. Girl.
Erica: Girl. But we can't, even with that, we can't ... [inaudible 00:48:27]
Jodie Slaughter: On the bed, but with like a blanket that I'll use on top. Yeah. Also, I mean, if you've read any of my books, you'd know fucking in cars is my thing.
Kenrya: On cars.
Jodie Slaughter: In cars. It's whenever I can make it happen. And also, whenever I can make it happen at a place that is not my place. Yes, please. You know what I mean?
Kenrya: I love it.
Jodie Slaughter: Preferably, where do you want to have sex? Preferably yours.
Erica: Right? And then I'll go home on my and sleep on my clean sheets.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. And you don't want a bunch of niggas in your house anyway.
Kenrya: Yes. Keep that energy.
Erica: I was just about to say, I don't need that energy being [inaudible 00:49:19]
Kenrya: So, okay, we ask this question, and I think sometimes people think it's obvious, but then you think about it. So the question is: what's your favorite part of having sex?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh. The anticipation of ... okay. Well, actually, wait. You see how much of a-
Kenrya: Some of us be like...
Jodie Slaughter: ... how much of a hoe I am, that I wasn't even thinking about what it might mean to like have a partner who you have sex with like-
Erica: No, I see it all the time. And I always say, "new dick."
Kenrya: That could be the best part.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. The anticipation of like being with someone new, even if it's not necessarily for the first time, but like the ... I don't know, there can be like a playfulness and like learning, and that is kind of my favorite. It's like, "Oh my God. Everything's just like, you're brand new."
Erica: What's this [inaudible 00:50:27].
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah. Yes. That's, that's my favorite part, to me. That's how much of a hoe I am, because I literally ... It didn't even occur to me that it might mean-
Erica: With the same with the partner.
Jodie Slaughter: With a partner you love deeply and who you have beautiful sex with. And I'm just like, "Nope."
Kenrya: I think a lot of folks are like, "Coming." And I'm like, "Okay, but there could be great parts too, right?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and obviously, I like learning how new/different people talk dirty to me. Or like being talked to. That's also a good one for me.
Kenrya: Yeah. That's what's up. Okay. What's the most frustrating part?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh God. Like figuring out how it all fits and works, and when your bodies are different. Do you know what I mean? I feel like that's not such a ... it's not a part you think about a ton, or at least I didn't think about a ton. But it's like, "Okay, both of us are chubby. How are we going to ... okay, we're going to have sex on this couch. All right, how are we going to make this work?”
Jodie Slaughter: And then there's also like, I don't know ... when reality happens and motherfuckers get tired in the middle of the shit, and you're like, "Okay, so how, how do we end this correctly?"
Jodie Slaughter: Like that, getting tired, I mean, I see all those memes on Twitter where dudes are like, "When you tell her to get on top," and everybody's like, "Ah," and I'm like, "But yeah, though."
Erica: I don't want to. That's why I like it on the side because everybody gets to rest. Everybody gets to rest.
Kenrya: See, I like to be on top. And my partner just recently was like, "So how are we going to do this when you turn 70?" He said, "Because-
Jodie Slaughter: You are not-
Kenrya: He was like, "Because you are not going to get your ass up here." He was like, "Your knees is already popping." I was like, "Nigga, this is my favorite. We will figure it out.
Jodie Slaughter: They have little chairs.
Kenrya: And we looked at those months ago. It's like a little thing that you sit on top. You know what it looks like? It looks like the suitcase rack that you get to see in a hotel.
Jodie Slaughter: No. No.
Kenrya: And it's got a space.
Jodie Slaughter: No.
Kenrya: And you sit on there. And then you can bounce.
Jodie Slaughter: Imagine. Okay. I'm trying to imagine like ... Oh God. Lord, forgive me. I'm trying to imagine, which I never like to imagine, but like my mother's homegoing and you go through her shit, and finding like, "Oh wow, this is granny's ring." You find her fuck chair and you're like, "Fuck." What do you do with it? Who gets the fuck chair? Do we donate it?
Kenrya: You pass that shit down like an heirloom.
Jodie Slaughter: Do we donate it?
Erica: Her spirit is in this.
Kenrya: I fully intend to still be riding it when I'm 70, so whatever it takes.
Jodie Slaughter: I like riding it like reverse cowgirl, where I can like do something.
Erica: [inaudible 00:53:56] the same person.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Otherwise, no thanks.
Erica: Yeah, he don't need a show. Like you want to look at my booty anyway.
Jodie Slaughter: Literally. Otherwise, pillow prince me, pillow princess me.
Erica: Let me lay down. We can both relax.
Jodie Slaughter: And, see, and that's fair. Right? because like, I think Kenrya is like, "I like the control."
Kenrya: I do.
Jodie Slaughter: That's the opposite of what I'm into, in a sexual situation. So I'm very much about like, "No, take it." You know what I mean? And not that you can't from on top, but you know ...
Kenrya: That happens later. See, I get mine.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay, but do you also like, "I'll ride it for like two minutes and then-
Kenrya: So here's the thing. Especially if it's been like a few days, I literally, I'll get up there and I'll be like, I'm going to be a fuckboy." And he'll be like, "All right." So me being a fuckboy means I come in like three minutes.
Jodie Slaughter: Period.
Erica: Wait, I'm sorry. That's being a fuckboy?
Kenrya: That's what we call it, is me being a fuckboy. It's when I can't last, and when I just, I come, and then-
Erica: Oh, honey. I'm a fuckboy nonstop.
Kenrya: And then we get to switch.
Jodie Slaughter: I call that, "I'm about to use it."
Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah, that's essentially what it is.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm using you.
Kenrya: And then we switch positions, and then he can get his, and I'll go get mine again, because that's just how I do.
Jodie Slaughter: Period.
Kenrya: But like, yeah. So I like it because it works. I know exactly what to do, he knows exactly what to do.
Jodie Slaughter: She said, "We're efficient.
Jodie Slaughter: This is good old fashioned ...
Kenrya: And the whole thing may end up being 40 minutes, 50 minutes, however long, but I get mine. And then, because I come multiple times ... thank you, Lord ... that's just the beginning. It's like once you break that-
Jodie Slaughter: The seal.
Kenrya: The seal. Yeah. So you break the seal in the most efficient way and then I'm good.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kenrya: You want to keep going is fine, because I'm going to come again.
Jodie Slaughter: The thing is I have like two in me, per session, maybe. And I'm actually normally okay with one. Now, just because I might not come when you go down on me doesn't mean I don't want you to do it. And that doesn't mean I can't, but I'm normally like edging myself type thing. Because I want to come during the intercourse.
Jodie Slaughter: But I'm normally like one is like, "Yeah, great." And then like an hour later, I might, but I really can't ... my body is just like, will not let me have more than two.
Kenrya: I have hit-
Jodie Slaughter: Sad. Devastating.
Kenrya: Well, first of all, there's a lot of folks who can't come at all.
Jodie Slaughter: That's true. Yeah.
Kenrya: So I thank God for orgasm period. I think my record is four or five. that doesn't happen often, two or three is more usual. Yeah, and that's gotten increasing, that's increased as I've gotten older and been with partners who I was more in tune with, and got more in tune with my body, and introduced toys and positions, and things like that, that I know are great for me. So yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: No, that's [inaudible 00:57:11].
Kenrya: That's pretty fucking dope.
Jodie Slaughter: I think I've also done maybe four or five in a day, but I was also like fully by myself. I know, I remember exactly that day, and I don't know why I was so horny, but I was just masturbating. And also, probably a total of 30 minutes throughout the day, knowing me because this was pre-Prozac.
Kenrya: [inaudible 00:57:31]
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Taking the bitches the off. Yes.
Erica: Do you ever have trouble turning off the day, turning off your day and just focusing on bodily pleasure?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh absolutely. Absolutely. Like I wouldn't say more times than not, but I'd say like a good 40% of the time I've had trouble turning off the day, relaxing enough to like let myself feel pleasure.
Kenrya: Anxiety's a funky bitch.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yes. And like even when you're not actively anxious in that moment, you're still, you're so tense. Like you're just constantly so tense that it can make it hell. Like, I definitely have had moments like with people where I've been like, "Well I'm definitely horny and let's try," and then I've had to be like, "Okay, well I'm going to just have to suck your dick because, and I would like to do that because I want to ... but this just I'm it's just not going to happen for me." So yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. I've had that happen.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. Where we got into and I was like, "You know what? I actually-“
Jodie Slaughter: Don't. I can't, I'm not into it. No. Yeah. Yeah, and you're like, "And I want you to feel good. So here or you know." Or it's like, "Well I'll just watch you jerk off." Which I learned that-
Kenrya: Whatever works.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes, it does. Learned that from that [inaudible 00; 00:59:10]
Kenrya: And then sometimes, I know for me, once I say that and then I'm like, "Oh, let me just suck your dick," sometimes then that gets me like further into it.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: Just like switching it up and taking the focus and the pressure off of my own pleasure and putting it on my partner's pleasure.
Jodie Slaughter: Putting it on someone else's, yeah.
Kenrya: Ends up making me be like, "Oh, okay. Now we can."
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fully.
Kenrya: Yeah. That's real shit. If you could change anything about your sex life by just like snapping your fingers, what would you change?
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. So if I could change anything about my sex life, and I'm going to choose right now, because I don't have a ton of regrets about ... I mean, yeah, about the past. I mean, you do, but like, you know what I mean? It's like, "Yeah, it all got me to here," or whatever bullshit.
Jodie Slaughter: I think it would be, I'd have more of one than I do right now. My sex life is sort of nonexistent right now, but it's like sort of the combination of like obviously being in a pandemic and like being a little terrified. And I'm one of those people who works better in person. Online or like apps have never worked for me when it comes to like actually getting sex.
Kenrya: I saw you tweeting about your misadventures.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. It's just like, it's so much easier for me to be turned off very easily. And on an app setting, just because I think there's very little context and I can't like look into someone's eyes, look at someone's face, and really get a gauge on where they're at. And it makes it really difficult for me.
Jodie Slaughter: And also I'm very funny and witty an-
Kenrya: Yeah, you are.
Jodie Slaughter: I am also like that via text and other people are not. And so I'm like, "You're boring. You're boring." Even though I know that like if I met them in person, it might be completely different. So I prefer meeting people in person. That's obviously been harder.
Jodie Slaughter: And then also, I've been in a very like mushy, I want to be in love mood recently. And I'd change that because it's making me want to have less casual sex. And I'd change that because I don't want that. I want that to go away.
Erica: Yeah. There are certain songs, like there's this one song that I hear and I'm like, "I can't, I'm not in the space."
Jodie Slaughter: I write romance!
Erica: I'm going to make a bad, I'm going to make a poor decision. Like I don't need that.
Jodie Slaughter: Look, because-
Kenrya: What's the song?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. What song?
Erica: It's so old, but "Best Part" is it-
Jodie Slaughter: It's oh, by H.E.R.?
Kenrya: Oh, H.E.R. Yeah.
Erica: Is it Daniel?
Jodie Slaughter: Daniel Caesar.
Erica: Yeah. And Daniel Caesar's ass. Yeah. It's a good song.
Kenrya: It's just like I don't fuck with him.
Jodie Slaughter: Who does? Fuck him.
Erica: I know, but the song just feels like-
Kenrya: He fumbled all of that. The song is beautiful.
Jodie Slaughter: Gorgeous.
Erica: Saturday morning, rolling over and having sex with your partner that you've been with forever.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh I know.
Erica: So when I listen to ... yeah, I can't listen to it because I'm going to make a shitty decision.
Jodie Slaughter: I know. And it's nothing to hop into a relationship with somebody trash. Trash people are always ready to hop into a relationship.
Kenrya: This is fucking true. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: It's nothing. It's nothing.
Kenrya: Nothing. Damn. Yeah. They are fucking plentiful and ready to go.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. And then you waste a year of your life.
Kenrya: If you lucky.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Right. Well right. If you're lucky. So it sucks. I write fucking romance novels.
Kenrya: And how do you get away from the-
Jodie Slaughter: I have to constantly ... I know. And I mean, it's like, granted, I do know that I'm half playing when I'm like, "I don't want it." Truthfully, it is what I want. I'm getting to a place in my mental health, my age, where I'm realizing that I guess I probably do want to settle down. It doesn't necessarily have to be a marriage, but like ... and also, I'm boringly monogamous. In most ... like I'm cool with like threesomes and sex clubs, and stuff like that. But when it comes to full out polyamory, I think I just don't have the emotional bandwidth, nor the level of involvement that it takes.
Jodie Slaughter: For that.
Erica: We the same people.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. So-
Erica: Like, I mean, I'm fine sharing you while we fucking, but like I don't need no emotional shit.
Jodie Slaughter: No, no, no, no, no. And I'm a Leo, I'm very much like, "Okay, well what's mine is mine." And of course I, you know, of course it's not like a healthy way to view a partner. Like you can, whatever, but-
Kenrya: Whatever, I'm an Aries and I feel the same.
Jodie Slaughter: What's mine is mine.
Kenrya: And I'm always ready to fight. So what are we doing?
Jodie Slaughter: Exactly. What? And I got plenty of Aries friends. My mother is an Aries, ready to fight for me.
Kenrya: So you know we always ready to fight.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Constantly.
Kenrya: On your behalf.
Jodie Slaughter: Constantly.
Kenrya: Who we fighting? Where we going?
Jodie Slaughter: And you just be like, "Hey, calm down." We can't go to a bar. We can't go to nut without y'all being like, "Did she ... Y'all looking at somebody crazy."
Erica: Did that bitch just disrespect you?
Jodie Slaughter: "Did she cut her eyes at me?" And you're like, "She was probably looking for her friend across the room." okay. “Really? Bitches can't say excuse me?"
Erica: There is a reason that we call Kenrya Killa Ken. We call her Killa Ken for a reason.
Kenrya: Oh my God.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God, that's my whole life.
Erica: She get more mad, like I don't even have to get mad because this bitch [inaudible 01:05:29]
Jodie Slaughter: I know, you won't. [inaudible 01:05:30] is like, "Let's just dance. Who cares?"
Kenrya: I was in this text group with some of my friends and I sent a, ... I like posted a tweet that somebody posted about like meals, right? Like some shit that we was thinking about, like some different stuff to cook at home. And my homegirl was like, "That's my enemy. I'm not reading that."
Jodie Slaughter: Oh God.
Kenrya: And I was like, "All right, fuck her."
Jodie Slaughter: Fuck that bitch.
Kenrya: And she was like, "I love that you didn't ask why, you were just like, 'Fuck her.'" I was like-
Jodie Slaughter: I mean, y'all are 10 toes down.
Erica: 10 toes down.
Jodie Slaughter: 10 toes down
Erica: 20, including mine. Wait, I didn't know. Okay, all right. That's cool. Yeah. No, she-
Kenrya: It's fine.
Erica: I love it though. I mean, it's a perfect best friend, and probably mother to have, right? Like, yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fully. Because most of my other friends and my sister are Leos. My other sister is also an Aries though.
Kenrya: Oh, wow. Y'all just carry out this bitch.
Jodie Slaughter: Anyway.
Erica: Okay. So what's a, what is a sex best practice that you want to share?
Jodie Slaughter: Ooh. Oh, communication. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's this, I don't know, this idea that we should all just like intrinsically, know what we want and what our partners want. And I think people find it sometimes like less sexy to just ... And not even through dirty talk, but to just sit down and be like, "Hey, so what are you into?" And I'm like, you can do that over drinks or a cup of coffee, or the phone, or whatever. And obviously, of course you can do it via dirty talk too, but I think it's a really ... like communicating what it is you want and need out of the experience and then learning what the person or people you're sleeping with also want and need out of the experience is like, to me, like sort of getting on the right side of it.
Kenrya: Yeah. Agreed. Agreed.
Jodie Slaughter: Does that all answer the question?
Erica: Yeah, you did. That was great.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God, okay.
Kenrya: So our next question is, do you have any must use tools, but you just said you don't really do all that.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. So I have ... I'm trying to think. Yeah, no, to be honest.
Jodie Slaughter: I got to keep my fingers nimble. Hopefully I don't break my hands. No, I have to ... now, actually that's not true. Get a butt plug.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: That'll do it.
Jodie Slaughter: That'll do it.
Kenrya: And they're good for self-pleasure.
Jodie Slaughter: Very much. That'll do it. So yeah, that.
Erica: So I think I know the answer to this, but would you rather give up partnered sex or masturbation?
Jodie Slaughter: See, that's really hard because it's like, one, it's like nobody knows how to fuck me, like me. Nobody's been fucking me as long as I've been fucking me.
Erica: That is a quote.
Jodie Slaughter: But I don't know, there's something really special to like being with somebody else. Y'all, wait, this is the hardest question of a bunch.
Erica: Like having to choose between the two children.
Jodie Slaughter: I would say partner sex. Give up. I can't imagine a world in which like, because I've never been known for like making ... well, why are you being weird to me? I've never been known for like truly losing myself over sex. Like, you may send some angry texts and yelling into somebody's voicemail over a dick and shit like that, but I have never like blown my life or somebody else's life up over sex. I think because I've always been like ... it's always been, for me like, "Well, I can give myself orgasms and they're still really great." And I recognize that this isn't a thing I need to breathe.
Jodie Slaughter: Do you know what I mean? And so I'm like, "This is not ever going to be worth like blowing all my shit up. And so I guess, if it comes down to brass tacks, I'd give up having sex with other people, but just know that I would be crying all the time, and I would be very sad, but I guess that's the one I'd choose.
Kenrya: We don't want you to be crying all the time.
Jodie Slaughter: Exactly.
Kenrya: That'd be sad.
Erica: Don't make me give either up.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, please.
Kenrya: What are you reading right now?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh. Okay. Right now, I actually prepared two books. One of them is “A Taste of Her Own Medicine” by Tasha L Harrison. It is in ... I try really hard not to like spoil, but it's like an older woman, younger man, Black romance. And Tasha-
Kenrya: Yeah, we did that one on the show. First season, second season?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Oh yeah. I think you did. Yes. Anyway, so y'all know-
Kenrya: She was the one who got divorced and she was going to the business development thing.
Jodie Slaughter: They fucked in the car.
Jodie Slaughter: Tasha writes fucking that is so delicious. If I could like eat it.
Kenrya: Oh God, that scene.
Erica: Yeah. No, I ... yeah, that was a great scene. That was a great scene.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. And the next book is one that I haven't started yet, but I'm still reccing it because I have all faith and it is “Shots Not Taken” by Nicole Falls, which is a-
Erica: Oh, she's always great.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Yes. And that's why, right? I'm not a sports romance person, but I have to ... I'm constantly finding myself having to like bite my tongue when it comes to me being like, "Oh, in romance, in books, I'm not into this," because there's always one to 35 authors who will write something that's going to blow that shit completely away. And I think Tasha's going to do this.
Jodie Slaughter: It's like a professional basketball player, and she has this entire series called Nymphs and Trojans, that are about like a NBA, and then WNBA type ... you know. And if you know, Tasha is very into women's basketball.
Erica: Yeah. We read the one-
Kenrya: “Fuck and Fall in Love.”
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yes.” Fuck and Fall in Love.” Yeah, so those are the two that I am recommending, and reading. Yes.
Kenrya: What do you hope that people will learn from this journey through your sex life?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh God. I think people will learn that ... I think your journey with sex never ends. Like sort of the same way that like your mental health journey never ends. You're always, I think, learning new things about yourself. You're always having new experiences. You're ever changing and that's kind of always changing how you have and approach sex. And I think, I'm not sure that it was like totally apparent that the way I approached sex now is any different from how I did when I was 13. But I mean, it's certainly very informed by my past, but also, very much informed by what's happening now and what I want for the future. So I think just like don't let your ideas of what your sex life is or should be stagnate.
Kenrya: What did you learn from going through your sex life through this process?
Jodie Slaughter: God, I learned that, one, I need to think about my sexual history more. Like just in terms of like taking stock of it. When I was going through these questions, I realized there were a lot of things that I hadn't thought about in a long time. Like the phone sex thing was something that I hadn't repressed, but that I ... you kind of just like forget or, you know what I mean? Certain things, if you're not constantly thinking about them, and I'd never fully examined how big of an impact those sexual actions literally have on the things I'm interested in now. And I think that makes sense. I think so much of what we're interested in sexually harkens back to like what was happening when we were first discovering sex.
Jodie Slaughter: So yeah, I think I ... also, I learned that I was a little precocious little freak, and that's funny to me. Yeah. That's hilarious.
Kenrya: So what is turning you on today, Jodie?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh God. What's turning me on? The thought of kissing someone. Also, I've been reading a lot of ... I also Tweeted about this, I'm not sure if you saw, but I've been reading a lot of like Killmonger smut on Tumblr. And that's really been turning me on. That's been like what I've been ... because that's what I tend to masturbate to, like smutty fan fiction, erotic novels, sex stories, stuff like that. Porn doesn't tend to do it for me.
Kenrya: Yeah. It does it for me less than this, which is how we ended up with this show.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. So yeah. Reading about Michael B Jordan, like, I mean sad, boo, hiss, and I know, as Eric Killmonger Stevens, fucking motherfuckers is turning me on today.
Erica: I love it. I'm here for it.
Jodie Slaughter: Because of course it's like the nerdiest shit ever. That's like-
Kenrya: And what's wrong with that?
Jodie Slaughter: I think nothing, but it's just like-
Erica: I was about to say like, it might be, but it's still hot.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm like, "Girl, you have haven't changed. You're still masturbating to fan fiction.” Like literal, like no change.
Erica: You know what works. You know what works.
Kenrya: Are you enjoying yourself?
Jodie Slaughter: Very much so.
Kenrya: Well then that's what fucking matters.
Jodie Slaughter: That's true. Y'all are right. The older sisters, y'all are right.
Kenrya: Hell, enjoy yourself.
Jodie Slaughter: I was so open, y'all.
Kenrya: You were. I'm really proud of you. This is not an easy thing to do. And I don't-
Jodie Slaughter: No.
Kenrya: I don't think I realized how hard it was until like when Erica and I did ours, we was like, "Oh."
Erica: Oh, we really talking about this.
Kenrya: Yeah. These sessions are hard.
Jodie Slaughter: It was like when that first question was talking about like masturbating at like 11, I was like, "Oh wow, because you're immediately transported back to whatever head space, it was like this isn't about sex, but it's not, not about sex.
Erica: It's about pleasure. It's just a little girl-
Kenrya: You're discovering your body.
Erica: That wants to feel good.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Jodie Slaughter: And I also, ... you're confronted with like, because I didn't know the word “masturbate,” but I definitely like-
Kenrya: This feels good.
Jodie Slaughter: Felt shame. It felt good, but I definitely felt shame. And I was also like, I remember when I got my period and it was like, "You can get pregnant now." And I was like, "Can you get pregnant from masturbating?" But I kept doing it.
Kenrya: That's the risk I'm willing to take.
Jodie Slaughter: Literally. I was like, "Well, I guess we'll see."
Erica: [inaudible 01:18:14].
Jodie Slaughter: No, truly. Truly.
Erica: However, there would be a lot less children and people in the world, if you could only have babies when you had orgasms.
Jodie Slaughter: There'd be like eight people in the world.
Erica: Like damn.
Jodie Slaughter: I don't even want to think ... anyway, my God. Our poor, poor mothers. No, honestly, they were fucking too.
Kenrya: Yes. Are you kidding me?
Erica: My mama was, definitely.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh absolutely. Oh, my mom ... anyway.
Kenrya: My dad is the youngest of 15 children.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. My granny was one of 10. Yeah.
Kenrya: There was lots of fucking.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Kenrya: And that's lovely.
Jodie Slaughter: Absolutely.
Kenrya: It don't bother me none to think about. I'm just like, I mean, that's why we're here. That's how we got here. And hopefully, like of all the stuff that I know that they went through, that was shitty, my hope is that-
Jodie Slaughter: That you got pleasure.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: That it wasn't a like, “Mister died on top of me” situation.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God.
Kenrya: Just that they enjoy [inaudible 01:19:36]
Jodie Slaughter: “How did he die?”
Erica: “On top of me.”
Jodie Slaughter: No, I'm sorry. That was the Blackest thing that's ever happened.
Erica: Because we can all just pick it up.
Kenrya: Wow. That's so funny. We were just talking about, I need to rewatch that, it's been so very long.
Jodie Slaughter: You're going to have to prepare yourself emotionally for that.
Kenrya: And I haven't watched it like as a grown-grown person.
Erica: I watch it and read it every year. I don't even think-
Jodie Slaughter: My mother does too. My mother does too.
Kenrya: I've read it as a grown-grown person, but I don't think I've watched it as a grown-grown person. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that this weekend.
Jodie Slaughter: I've never read it, which is like biggest secret shame. But I'm also like ... well, because I ... well, I feel ashamed. I'm like, "I should have read ‘The Color Purple.’" But also I need to ... I have these interesting thoughts about the movie and about Celie and Shug, and ...
Kenrya: Oh, you should really read it.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. And I know that, in the book, I mean, because I know that Alice Walker is queer, and I know that in the book, obviously there are so many more nuances that exist in a movie.
Erica: I read the book annually because of that. I feel like it shows-
Kenrya: The relationship is just-
Erica: Beauty of Black ... of relationships between Black women. How it can not only be sexual, but platonic.
Jodie Slaughter: But like that of a mother or a sister. Yes.
Erica: It shows the richness of our relationships and I that's why I love it.
Kenrya: [inaudible 01:21:22].
Erica: And it's on audio books, so if you ... it was one of those like just, I think it might even be free, to be quite honest. I don't think it's free, but yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. I mean it probably is in the Libby app or, I mean-
Jodie Slaughter: Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kenrya: That's where I check out all my books.
Erica: Yeah. It's an audio book, listen to it. You'll ... yeah.
Kenrya: Yeah. Don't be ashamed, just enjoy it. And then tell us what you think.
Jodie Slaughter: I will. I also have to tell you what I think about the suppositories. Because I'm going to try them. The suppositories.
Kenrya: Oh yes. Okay.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.
Kenrya: Excited for that, for you, because they're dope. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm so excited.
Kenrya: And I think, more than that, I'm really proud of you for being vulnerable and talking to us about all of this stuff. I feel like I know I didn't get vulnerable enough to have this kind of a conversation until the last few years, and you in your twenties, girl, and you just did it.
Jodie Slaughter: Thank you. Well, I mean, it's also like obviously you all created this space where that's possible for me to do so, and feel comfortable. Not even talking about ... I've been forced to be very vulnerable this past year, so I've gotten used to just like, "I'm raw, here, take everything that's inside." But y'all have created a ... I've never, I don't think, had a discussion this frank on a podcast before. This is like the type of discussion that ... and that if I was like recording with someone, we'd end, and then if I was close to them or we were having a conversation, then ...
Kenrya: You would talk about that stuff.
Jodie Slaughter: We'd talk about that stuff. Yeah. But yeah, I think it was like a really great exercise in being vulnerable. So thank you for giving me the space to do that.
Kenrya: Oh, yay. I'm so glad that we've been able to make that happen. And thank you for saying yes.
Jodie Slaughter: Always. Literally, always. Any fucking time.
Kenrya: And you going to regret that you said that.
Jodie Slaughter: No, I won't. I won't. No, this is literally like chatting with the gals. Like I won't.
Erica: No, I totally feel like we just kind of ... we all [inaudible 01:23:38]
Kenrya: Take right back up.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. Literally. We literally smoked before.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: Those are the secrets. Well, thank you for joining us.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Thank you for having me.
Kenrya: Thank you. Yes. And thank you to all of y'all for listening. I'm not even going to say that I hope you enjoyed it because I know that you did.
Jodie Slaughter: You better have.
Kenrya: Exactly. We'll be back next week. Y'all take care.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now in your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast, so you'll never miss an episode.
Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. And you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.
Kenrya: And don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.
Erica: And you can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.
Kenrya: Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. Holla.
LISTEN TO THE TURN ON
Apple Podcasts | Google Play | iHeart Radio | Radio Public | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | YouTube
CONNECT WITH THE TURN ON
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Patreon
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to Jodie Slaughter about celebrity crushes, writing embarrassing fanfic, Affrilachians and finding our way back when anxiety takes us down.
The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Kenrya: Today we're talking to Jodie Slaughter, pronoun she and her. Jodie is a 20-something romance author who spends most of her days hunched over a computer for her day job and her nights hunched over a different computer for her novels. While her back is definitely suffering, she wouldn't have it any other way. She loves love so she writes romance novels full of heart, passion and heat. When she isn't putting steamy scenes or declarations of devotion on the page, she can normally be found being generally hilarious on Twitter, dreaming about brisket or watching way too much television. Y’all are fools. Hi, Jodie. Thank you for joining us today!
Jodie Slaughter: Hi.
Kenrya: What y’all can't see is that—listeners, what y'all can't see is that E has decided that she wants to try to fuck me up on the intros.
Jodie Slaughter: You held out for so long, though.
Kenrya: I did.
Jodie Slaughter: You held out for so long.
Kenrya: I did. I did. I'm proud of myself. I'm going to pat myself on the back there.
Erica: You always fuck up the two hos.
Kenrya: I'm patting myself.
Erica: She's just-
Kenrya: Because she was trying so hard to throw me off my square. Whatever. Terrible.
Erica: Anyway. So-
Kenrya: Terrible, whatever. Thank you for coming on with us today.
Jodie Slaughter: Thank you for having me.
Erica: Jodie, thank you so much for joining us. I fucking loved your book. This was a book that Kenrya... We both pick books and so this was a Kenrya pick, and sometimes her picks be... They're good, but it'd be like, "This ain't my shit."
Jodie Slaughter: That's shady, but okay.
Erica: This was my shit.
Kenrya: It is so shady. It's so so shady.
Erica: It's not shady. I'm just saying. You like wizards and demons and people with little horns coming out of her head and I be like...
Kenrya: I like everything.
Erica: She's a fantasy gal.
Jodie Slaughter: Is it monster-focused? I understand.
Kenrya: I like genre! Yeah, I'll do it. I like regular... I like more straight stuff too, but I do like to bring in some good genre shit.
Erica: You do!
Kenrya: It keeps it interesting.
Erica: And when you pick it, I'm always like, "I didn't think..." I say this often, "I didn't think I'd like it, but I really fucking loved it."
Erica: This was one of those books that... I always tell my son, "Readers are leaders." I'm not a reader, and I host a literary podcast. But, anyway, I was drawn to it constantly like, "What's going on? What's about to happen?" So, bitch, kudos.
Jodie Slaughter: Thank you so much!
Erica: Thank you.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm so glad y’all liked it!
Kenrya: Yes, loved it.
Erica: Okay. So now that I'm done, all that...
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, I'm sucking it in. I'm sucking it in.
Erica: We're going to love on you.
Kenrya: Yes, take it all. That's what we do. If we don't do shit else but talk about therapy and dicks, we also love our people.
Erica: Therapy, dicks and we worship Black women.
Jodie Slaughter: Two of my favorite things! Three of my favorite things in the world! [crosstalk 00:03:04]
Erica: Those are my favorite things. When a dick's big, and my therapist is Black, and I'm reading books… (singing).
Jodie Slaughter: We need a Spotify link for that.
Erica: Some of my favorite things. Then I don't feel so bad. (Singing.)
Jodie Slaughter: So bad. Bam, that's absolutely it, that's it.
Kenrya: Yeah, you just bastardized one of my favorite musicals. We watch it on Thanksgiving every year, but we cut it off before the Nazis come, so my daughter doesn't know that that part happens. She thinks that they get married and then the movie's over. It's going to stay that way for quite some time.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, you know what I mean?
Erica: She about to be fucked up. She's going to be like 15 years old, like "What, mama!"
Kenrya: It's long as fuck, so by the time we get to the wedding, I'm ready to move on to “The Wiz.” We start there and then we do “The Wiz”, and then we wrap up.
Jodie Slaughter: “The Wiz” is scary!
Kenrya: So we don't do the movie, we do... Remember when NBC did “The Wiz Live!”?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: It's so good.
Jodie Slaughter: It is.
Kenrya: So we switch, we move on to “The Wiz” and it's a good way to end the night. Yo, her fucking voice. Word to Amber. Right?
Jodie Slaughter: Love of my life, Amber Riley, is in that. Love of my life.
Erica: Her voice is like-
Jodie Slaughter: She is just an... Let me not because I could talk about that woman, everything about her. I'm just like Heart Eyes McGee.
Kenrya: Yeas, the best part of “Glee.” I love musicals, yes.
Jodie Slaughter: The only part worse was... Anyway.
Kenrya: I'm a musical freak. So yeah, like “Glee” was my shit, but I can't go back like because Lea Michele.
Jodie Slaughter: No you can't. And that cast is cursed, fucking cursed. I don't know what kind of seance Ryan Murphy was doing, what kind of deals? It's real dark.
Kenrya: There's so any of them.
Jodie Slaughter: And it's devastating. And I know, I get it. You can clap.
Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. But so I do sometimes. I'll just pull up like YouTube clips of her songs, like “Smash Your Windows.” Oh my God.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Oh my God.
Jodie Slaughter: Her “Disco Inferno” is like one of my favorites. I live it. Yes.
Kenrya: She just... I was listening to... Okay. Anyway. Sorry.
Erica: We've already digressed.
Jodie Slaughter: Amber Riley, I love you. Call me. We could get together. I can really open you up, like new experiences, new things.
Erica: Oh my God. Yes, I love it. I love it. Okay. Well, other than stanning for Amber Riley, what did little Jodie want to do when she grew up?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh Lord. The first thing I can remember, I wanted to be a doctor because my correlation was that I really actually enjoyed going to a doctor when I was a kid a lot. Something about it was very comforting for me. I was a chubby kid. As I got older, and I stayed chubby, that became less comforting.
Kenrya: Yeah, because they're fucking assholes about weight especially with Black women.
Jodie Slaughter: Absolutely. And then I also realized that I did not focus school. I wasn't about to-
Erica: It's like I was the getting talking about.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, exactly. I'm like, if I could just wear the stethoscope and not going to be like, "Oh" then I would maybe.
Erica: We can play operation on Thursdays.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, absolutely. But, I think I was probably about 12 when I realized that wasn't going to be an option for me. And after that, to be honest, I tried my hardest not to think about it because I was just like, "I don't know."
Erica: Oh, that's a good strategy.
Jodie Slaughter: [crosstalk 00:06:35] Yeah, I was just like, "Don't know."
Kenrya: Is it?
Erica: For me it would be because I think I spent so much time obsessing about like, "I don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up. I don't know what I want to do." And so I think I would have just let the world lead me.
Jodie Slaughter: Well, I kind of did. I mean, for a while... I say this and people are always like, "No, don't say that." But, I'm like, I'm not good at things. I can't sing. I'm relatively smart, and I was a pretty good student, but I'm not genius level. I don't particularly enjoy school. I can't play an instrument. I tried to play the clarinet for a little while, and the literal music teacher was like, "Girl, no." But, I've always had this incredible imagination, and I've always been very good at writing.
Erica: I was about to say bitch. I was about to comment in the stop. You doing good.
Jodie Slaughter: That's always been sort of the only thing. But, when I was young, I didn't know anybody who was a writer. I have a family full of all kinds of... We got a million hairdressers, a doctor, a lawyer, woman who works at old folks’ home. From the perspective of a young person, every career, I knew somebody. I didn't know anybody who was like, "I'm a writer and I can feed my family off of this and not whatever." I also I realized that that was maybe fiction. So when I was an older teenager, I was like, "Okay, maybe I'll go into like journalism." And that's kind of what I did for a while, more in the realm of content creation, stuff like that. That's a long drawn out answer to say like, [crosstalk 00:08:33] "I don't know."
Erica: I don't fucking know.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, pretty much.
Erica: You're on mute.
Kenrya: I am. Sorry. I had a whole last conversation with myself. So what I said was you're right. It's interesting because being a writer is not a thing that's held up as a viable career choice like any more than any other type of artists, right?
Jodie Slaughter: Not at all.
Kenrya: It's not. That's what I do for a living. I am a writer. That's all I do. And this podcast. Yes. I do this podcast too, but whatever.
Erica: We do that for a living.
Jodie Slaughter: Y’all live.
Kenrya: Do we?
Erica: But we do it. The “for a living” part is silent.
Jodie Slaughter: Soon come, soon come.
Kenrya: Exactly. But, it wasn't something that I ever saw. And in fact, when I was younger, I wanted to be a PR person because I figured I could make money at that. So that's what I did for a while because it was presented to me as a viable career where I could get into a job somewhere and make a living and not be living off the back of my creativity because nobody told me that that was the thing that I could do.
Jodie Slaughter: That's absolutely it. I went into for a long time making pennies at content farms, that type of thing.
Kenrya: $30 for a fucking thousand-word articles and shit. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: And having to do work like 12 hours a day every day so that I can pay my bills, like a grown person. And I was like, "I guess I'm kind of living the dream." You know what I mean? In some ways, yeah I don't, but this is not... I knew that it wasn't the type of writing I wanted to be doing. And then I had gotten this actual real journalism job. I got laid off from that because that's how digital media works.
Kenrya: It's volatile.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. Well, I'm 26 now. So when this happened, I was like 24. And I was like, "Okay, well now it's time to like work. I need something that is going to be secure." Because one of my biggest fears was like not having money to pay. I didn't want to be on the street. I didn't want to have to count pennies in my hand every time I went to the grocery store. You know how when you are... Varying degrees of growing up in terms of money, was super fluctuating. There would be times, and it would be... I hate to say that it was embarrassing, but when you're at the grocery store with your mom, and she's like, "Okay, we're going [crosstalk 00:11:22] to put on the aisle first. Yes. We're going to put this on the conveyor belt first."
Kenrya: Yeah. Put some shit back. Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Prioritize.
Jodie Slaughter: And then she would be like, "Tell me when it gets to this, and we'll stop. And that's it." It was so stressful. I didn't want to have that be my life. So the only thing I was focused on was like, "All right, I need to like whatever." I knew, I liked English. I was like, "I'll go back to school. I'll get a master's degree. I'll teach. Fine." That's not the way you should go about being a teacher.
Kenrya: So much of growing up in a scarcity situation, which I to relate to, is that when you become an adult, you make a lot of decisions because of scarcity.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, absolutely.
Kenrya: You worry that the opportunities, that the money that they will vanish. That they will not be there when you need them. So you grasp onto the things that come your way because you don't want to fucking drown because you didn't grab onto the fucking lifeboat.
Jodie Slaughter: That's absolutely it. You stay places that are awful for you. It's bad. I grew up, like I said, it was varying degrees. A large part of my childhood, I did not worry about money actually because of my grandparents. My mother's parents, were kind of like-
Erica: It was like I don't need nobody saying... Right.
Jodie Slaughter: My mother's parents were more upperish middle-class. My grandmother was a hairdresser, and she was pretty successful. My grandfather was like one of the first real Black engineers at IBM. They did well. We were with them for a lot of my childhood. But, when I was in my mid-teens, my grandmother got sick. She was a hairdresser, she didn't have any insurance. My grandfather had already retired, so he didn't really either. That ate up a lot of that money. That was like the first time I experienced like, "No, you can't go to the movies because we literally don't have $10 for you." And then post that a little bit is when we struggled a little more. So it's varying degrees but...
Erica: You still remember it.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, I still remember it. And I definitely made... At that point, once I got laid from... it was my first salaried position. I was making like $45,000 a year.
Erica: But still...
Jodie Slaughter: I'm in Louisville, Kentucky, right.
Kenrya: Oh, listen, bitch.
Erica: Yeah, you was doing good.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, I was doing great. And it was terrifying to realize how shaky that all is. And I was like, "What's the most secure thing I can think of that I know I can do. I like English, I'll teach English." You never hear about teachers getting laid off, which is bullshit. But, you know. And that's when I was like, "I'll do that." So I got another job in the like digital media field. And I was like, "I'll go back to school." I am so far away from the question you initially asked me.
Erica: No. This is what we like. Keep at it.
Kenrya: An organic conversation.
Jodie Slaughter: Because this kind of gets into when I...
Erica: Keep going.
Kenrya: Yeah, you good.
Jodie Slaughter: At that "point, when I had gotten this new job, I was like, "I'm going to..." I was not feeling great. So I was like, "I'm going to lean into my creative endeavors a bit more." And it was through that when I was like, "Maybe I can try to put my focus on instead of like moving in fear, I can try to go out on hope and see what happens." I mean, be smart about it. I still worked a day job, but... So yes.
Erica: But, no. I think it's so important that you shared that because I feel like that's what keeps a lot of us Black girls from pursuing that. We don't see it. We don't know that you can have a job. We're afraid, and it really is terrifying to take that step out one hope to do it. It's funny you mentioned that because I was in my basement. And I hoard cleaning products.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: You ain't got to be so quick about it.
Jodie Slaughter: No, I've been in the apartment.
Jodie Slaughter: It sent me to the netherworld.
Kenrya: To be clear, I've benefited from her hoarding cleaning products because every time she finds cleaning wipes, she brings me one.
Erica: And I might have like a large number in my basement right now. So
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, don't tell me where you live, sis, because I'm-
Erica: That's why I'm not giving numbers because I don't need nobody coming after us. But, it's one of those things where I remember when I don't have it. So when I do, I buy it for all. I watch hoarders. That's kind of like my porn, so I don't get that bad. But, I definitely remember times where we don't have. So when I do have, I'm like, "Oh" I literally got three of those big Costco things of toilet paper in the basement because that's just my stash for when I don't have it. And beginning of this pandemic didn't fucking help because I was like, "Mm, I'm smart. I'm smart. Y’all are stupid." So it just reinforced my fuckery.
Jodie Slaughter: It reinforced it. Yeah, I do that. I do a version of that with shopping. And I mean shopping for like clothes and stuff. For a long time I just couldn't. When I was probably like 19, 20, I had two bras. I wore them down to like the... Listen because..And I got...
Erica: Girl, I'm looking at you and them things are thangin.
Jodie Slaughter: And it would get to where I would have the money, but I was struggling, and my mother was also struggling. And the only thing I could think of that's worse than me struggling is my mom and my sister. So for me, my thing was always, "I'm keeping a certain amount of money, always." Not even just my contingency, but if my mom... If something happens to her car, and I know she needs help or whatever, my sister needs something for something because my sister's seven years younger than me. That's right. So I spend any of my extra money. I would have this weird thing where all of a sudden maybe one day I'd wake up and I'd realized I'd have 200 extra dollars in my bank account and something would just happen. And I'd be like, "Okay, let me just go buy like some jeans and whatever."
Jodie Slaughter: And I still do that even though I'm not, my mother isn't, my sister isn't, all of us are very financially stable and good right now. And I still do that. I still don't shop regularly. So one day I'll look up and I'll have spent $300 on some shit I could have bought stretched out over like three months.
Erica: Over the year.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. So I do. It's like poverty. It's PTSD. It's what it is.
Kenrya: It is actually. So this is definitely something that I struggle with, and I've talked about it a little bit on this show. So I co-wrote a book called “How We Fight White Supremacy.” And in it I had to write an essay about money. I could not write that fucking essay because it was unearthing too much stuff for me. It really didn't break until I talked to my therapist about it three weeks in a row because we had to have this conversation about what is my relationship with money, what is it from when I was young that is holding me back. And so much of it is that, I'm like you, we had money and then we didn't. My dad was gainfully employed and was great. And then he got laid off at a certain point. And then we didn't have insurance. We started struggling.
Kenrya: I got my first job when I was 14. I've been working since then. I didn't have a choice. And I realized that I hoard besides... One, I am finally learning to say no to things that I do not have time for, but I used to say yes to everything because I was like, "I never know when the next assignment is going to come because I am a freelancer. I'm a consultant." Down to the point where I'm literally not taking on any more work this year because I'm so busy. Yes. But it took so long to get to that point. And I'm so tired, to be clear. But beyond that, I quit my full-time job earlier this year so that I could just focus on my consulting. It felt great, but it also felt terrible. And what I realized I was doing because I hadn't worked really hard, like crazy, not sleeping to amass some savings, the most money I've ever been able to save up in my entire life. I've never been more than a paycheck away from falling apart, quite honestly.
Kenrya: And so I saved this money in preparation. I had set this goal, I got to save X amount of money to be able to quit my job because my therapist was like, "Bitch, you need a plan. You need to stop saying you're going to quit and have a plan." So I had a plan. I had this amount of money. I got the money saved up. But, then what I found is I was waiting till the last minute, every month to pay my bills. And my therapist was like, "Why are you doing that?" And I was like, "I don't know." She was like, "It's because you're hoarding your money because you don't know what's going to happen. And you're trying to hold on to it till the last possible minute."
Jodie Slaughter: The call out of knowing the power... You learn your due date before they cut it off.
Kenrya: Just how long you can wait before they cut your shit off.
Jodie Slaughter: Note the due day. Because you learn you kind of have almost an extra month to pay that shit. Listen, I get it. And even when you have money, sometimes you feel like, Girl.
Erica: No matter how much I have, I wait for the disconnection notice from AT&T. Y’all going to wait. Y’all going to get your money last.
Kenrya: But here's the thing, though. It with my anxiety to have not paid my bills. So I'm myself over because I've got this scarcity mindset from remembering when I didn't have it. And because I'm afraid to let go of this cushion that I built for myself, but I feel so much better when I do it earlier in the month. So I'm forcing myself to do that, but still so much of my reckoning with the way that I work, and the way that I spend money. Same thing with you with clothes. I actually had to budget money every month to spend on myself. That was another therapy assignment because I don't spend money on myself. I spend money on my kids. I'll buy everybody food. I do all of those things. Yeah. See somebody here benefits from that because I order for delivery for everybody.
Erica: She could be like, "Bitch, Olive Garden." And I'm like, "Bitch, you don't even eat Olive Garden." They gave me extra bread sticks.
Kenrya: But then I don't buy myself clothes or... I mean, I got my gowns, my wonderful lovely gowns. So we transitioned from calling them... exactly we call them gowns because Walter Mercado. I am no longer calling them... Mucho mucho mucho. One for every day. My partner was like, "So how long are we doing this?"
Jodie Slaughter: Probably forever.
Kenrya: I was like, "I know I can't go back. Nigga, I'm naked underneath. Don't ask no questions, just enjoy it."
Jodie Slaughter: It's literally easy access.
Kenrya: He's come around. But there's nothing underneath this thing that I am wearing right now as I'm talking to y’all, and there never is. I be out on the porch with E like, "Hey."
Erica: She shows up and its wafting.
Jodie Slaughter: That's some real mama shit. That's some real Black mama shit.
Kenrya: And I love it.
Erica: It just floats.
Jodie Slaughter: You got the house shoes on too?
Kenrya: No. No, I'm usually... Well, I'm in flip-flops. What they call them now? Slides? I be in slides.
Jodie Slaughter: Mine are over there.
Erica: I keep some fluffy shoes on.
Kenrya: That's the point of the pandemic that I'm in. I was doing leggings, the whole athleisure because that's normally what I'm in, anyway. It's too restrictive. I only put that on if I'm taking a walk.
Jodie Slaughter: I've had such a weird pandemic. At the beginning, I was doing it because I've had a hard year mental health wise. I spent a long time knowing that I had anxiety and kind of ignoring it. Being like, "I know I have it." But, just being like, "Yeah, I can kind of push it to the wayside." I had started working out
Jodie Slaughter: a little more in, I'd say, February. One day I'm doing... What was I doing? Like a squat or something like, oh, a plank. And I just pulled a muscle right under my titty, really.
Kenrya: Oh, no.
Jodie Slaughter: So logically, I know that this is what I've done. And it's not that bad. I don't go to the doctor about it immediately. But I spiral because I start being like, "Well, what if it's my gallbladder? What if this pain is this, this, this? What if I have this? What if I have MS?" Like spiraling in a way that I... I've had a little, which is a thing, I've had ever since I started writing, ever since I started realizing that there is a trajectory for me and it does seem to be going up. I started developing a little bit of, what's my brain fog, a little bit of hypochondria. And it's always something fatal. It's always like, "Oh, I'm going to get cancer." I'm 26 years old.
Kenrya: What's going to come fuck this up? Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. And that's exactly what it is because everything else in my life is pretty fine, money is fine, relationship, it's like I'm not in one, but that's okay.
Kenrya: That's good too.
Erica: That's fine.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. That's fine. My relationship with my family is fine, everything's fine. It's like I need something, waiting-
Kenrya: [crosstalk 00:25:39] So you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Jodie Slaughter: I can't be happy. And so I just start spiraling and it's been an uphill battle. It's been good, but, or it hasn't been good. But in the quarantine I was like, we're working out every day, I'm like cooking every day, I'm writing. I drafted a book in like a month and a half. But lately it's been like... it's been to the point where I'm like, "All right, I need to like sit down and not do anything." You know what I mean?
Kenrya: We're several months into this shit.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: And it's only so long... I mean, there's only so long you can go.
Jodie Slaughter: The sustained level of hyper-awareness [crosstalk 00:26:26] that some of us already have.
Kenrya: I'm like the same. We're at a fucking 10 already.
Erica: We're already up right here, and now we're just here nonstop.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah and its...
Erica: It's difficult.
Kenrya: It's exhausting.
Erica: It is exhausting. That's the best way to put it. Girl, I totally understand.
Jodie Slaughter: It's ghetto! It's the ghetto! And that's the good ghetto because the ghetto is great.
Kenrya: It is the ghetto. Not great, zero stars, would not recommend.
Jodie Slaughter: This is, actually, I don't know what this is. This is awful, but oh child. And it's so crazy because this is one of the best, personally I guess, years of my life.
Jodie Slaughter: Some good ass things are happening to me.
Kenrya: But trash.
Jodie Slaughter: And last night I spent a good... Woke up six in the morning, shivering, Googling whether or not I had multiple sclerosis with no evidence.
Kenrya: Oh, honey.
Jodie Slaughter: You know what I mean? It's so wild.
Kenrya: That spiral is real.
Erica: It took a really long time for me in therapy to go through that, to realize that that's what I was looking for. And that shit was... I realizing that while shit was falling apart. I'm like, "I know I'm going through a divorce, but something bad is going to happen."
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Erica: And my therapist is like, "You're going through divorce-"
Kenrya: It's happening.
Erica: "... and you're handling it very, very well."
Jodie Slaughter: Right!
Erica: So it takes a minute to kind of understand. The one thing that my therapist always tells me is that "you know how to rebuild." So even if something horrible happens, you know how to get through it.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Erica: And I was like, girl, I thought I was finished. I was about to graduate in therapy. When my therapist steps you down to like every other week out to a month, I'm like, "Oh I graduated."
Jodie Slaughter: I'm perfect now, I'm good.
Erica: Literally the week after I graduated to every two weeks, I found out I had cancer. And so it was like, "Mmhm!"
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Erica: And I got it out one good time and it was like, "Okay, I got this." And it got to a point I was sitting in therapy like, "So my hair is falling out from chemotherapy and I got both titties chopped off, but everything's good." And she was like, "Wow!" It took a whole lot to get there. So you will get there.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. So I think that's the thing with anxiety, is that you're prepared for everything.
Jodie Slaughter: So when it actually gets there, you're like, "Oh I'm cool, calm and collected." I know I've been through this in my head. So many times.
Erica: I had a Terminus picked out already. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: I already felt how bad this is, maybe worse.
Kenrya: I never thought about that in that way, when emergencies happen, I am leveled.
Jodie Slaughter: You're chill. You're calm.
Erica: Yeah. And that's the thing.
Kenrya: To the point where people have told me that they feel like I don't care. And I'm like, no, it's just because I've already... You're right.
Erica: This is a problem, we're going to work through it.
Kenrya: We're going to solve it.
Jodie Slaughter: Because I've solved it. Every possible way this could go, I've thought about it.
Erica: A through Z and there's plan AA also.
Kenrya: You are fucking right.
Jodie Slaughter: I go through this with my mom. My mother is, I mean, obviously everyone has anxiety but she does. And she... When a situation comes up, she can get kind of panicked and I'm always like, 'Okay, this is what we're going to do. This is..." And she's always like... Or she'll be... She's like, "Jodie, stop overthinking." And I'm like, "Well, I'm prepared if some shit happens." And that's how. And I wish you could just get to that level of always being like, "I've been through things before. I've been in pain. I have been hurt. I have been troubled. I've been and I'm here. And I got through it because I don't have... That's all I can control is how I get through it." If I'm going to die tomorrow, that's just what it's going to be. And I'm not going to be thinking, "Well if I die tomorrow, I'm not going to be able to publish my book and blah, blah." Well, I'll be dead.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. You know what I mean? And also I'll be dead.
Kenrya: There's that.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm not going to care. That'll be the least probably. But it's but it's so hard to get there at a state, to try to be there as consistently as possible. But we work at it, we go to therapy. We suck down these meds.
Erica: The good meds. [crosstalk 00:31:01] "How's everything?" "Great! Great! Great! I feel it, it's great."
Kenrya: And we share, right? We have these conversations. I think that there are so many folks who probably deal with anxiety and don't know it, or haven't admitted it to themselves or haven't gotten help in an official diagnosis. I had my first panic attack when I was probably in the eighth grade. So it was at 13, 14 years old, but nobody knew what the fuck was going on. I cried for a fucking day.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: They just said, I broke... I think they said I had a nervous breakdown. Nigga I was in the eighth grade and then it just, we just moved on. I didn't go to therapy. It wasn't a thing. It was the nineties, early nineties, nobody, whatever... But now we have these conversations and hopefully if there's somebody who has experienced this spiral and recognizes themselves and it's like, "Oh fuck, this is the thing that I do and didn't even understand that I was doing it." It helps them to be able to get some help too, right?
Jodie Slaughter: If you do, you are not alone. I know what you're feeling. That feeling in your heart, in your belly. When you're sitting up and it's six in the morning and you have a little pain in your pinky and all of a sudden you're like, "it's over for me," or "what's going on?" I get it. I understand. What's really helped me, I went through cognitive behavioral therapy and that I have varying feelings about it. But one thing I know that has helped me, it's like because I am... I do tend to like to rely on logic a lot.
Kenrya: And there's no logic there.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. No, none at all.
Jodie Slaughter: But my therapist was like, "We need to look at like our evidence." Right? You have a pain in your side, what else are we having? You know what I mean? People with MS don't just wake up one day with a pain in their side and they go to the doctor and the doctor is like, "You have MS." It's like, what is the evidence? What's the... And I know that's not, it's not the end. The evidence is not always the thing that pulls me back, I have to learn coping mechanisms and whatever. Sometimes it's reading, sometimes it's playing games on my phone for like two hours. Whatever it is
Kenrya: Mine right now is “New Girl.” I've just been having heart palpitations again.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, put on a show.
Kenrya: I just been laying on the couch for 30 minutes in the middle of the day when my heart is going crazy and watching an episode of a show that makes me laugh like a fucking crazy person.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, listen. Jessica Day and the boys, they'll get you good.
Erica: I just schedule Tik Tok time. I'm not elevated like you guys.
Jodie Slaughter: That is so... No, no. So I'm 26, my sister is 19. So she's gen Z. I think she woke up the other day and was like, "Oh, my side hurt," or whatever. And she was like, "I think pulled trying to learn a Tik Tok dance."
Erica: See, that's my old ass. I'm 40 and I'm like, "Oh, let's do a Tik Tok dance."
Kenrya: You're not 40 yet, bitch. [crosstalk 00:10:18].
Erica: I'm 39 and I should not be pulling muscles doing Tik Tok dances.
Kenrya: Sure. But let's not put us there before we get there.
Jodie Slaughter: No, please. I can't wait. I hate being, especially cause I'm young and everybody in the romance community.
Kenrya: Thirties are fucking amazing.
Erica: I would say enjoy it all, enjoy each part of it. The twenties were fun because I was young and dumb and being a hoe and just do that. Yeah, the pandemic.
Jodie Slaughter: I can't go outside.
Kenrya: Outside is closed.
Erica: Outside is closed. The thirties, you're getting a little more like, "Okay, this is who I am."
Erica: And now that I'm approaching 40, bitch, I don't care. I got the money. It is just balls to the wall.
Kenrya: That's real shit. It is a beautiful time.
Jodie Slaughter: Twenty is fine. It's fine.
Erica: Okay! I'll take your twenties
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah! Well it's because of my anxiety, because I've experienced it so long, it almost feels like I'm older. I'm ready to reap the benefits of... Cause my sister, I have an older sister as well and she's 34. And she's like, "When you turn 30, you're just horny all the time. You're ready to go." She's like something about you just whatever. And I'm ready to... She's like, you just feel good. She's like, even though you wake up and your body hurts all the time, you just feel good. And I'm ready for that.
Erica: I saw this Venn diagram on Instagram. It was like "My pussy and my joints." And it was like, "Popping." And that is where I am.
Kenrya: That is so accurate!
Erica: But so I will say, I think what makes it better when you get older is that that you learn to shed. You're learning the shit that was put in you as a young teen. So you're like, "You know what? Y'all going to like this fucking good. Y'all going to like this roll. Y'all going to like this backpack. You going to get the pussy that is served. If you don't the pussy that's served, go to another restaurant."
Jodie Slaughter: I get it. I'm only getting there this year, I bought my first two bodycon dresses a few weeks ago.
Jodie Slaughter: Because I've always been fat. I've never been like insecure enough about my body to be like, "I'm going to change it."
Jodie Slaughter: But I have always been like, okay, well we're going to wear things that hide this and hide this. And I was up one night doing the impulse shopping, and I was like, I want to put... I don't have anywhere to go, but I want to try. I've never owned two dresses that were this tight because everybody was always like, "Your stomach, your-"
Kenrya: Fuck them.
Jodie Slaughter: And I looked good as fuck.
Jodie Slaughter: And I was like "Wow! I can't believe I've been missing this!"
Erica: Put it on, take some thirst trap photos. Yes.
Jodie Slaughter: Yep. That's exactly what I did.
Kenrya: Even if they live in your phone, take them shits and look at them and remember.
Jodie Slaughter: I look at them. I'm like "Wow. I can't believe." So, I've just kind of started getting there and I can't wait for that to grow because...
Kenrya: It does, yeah.
Erica: Well I just ordered some lingerie, I suggest you do that. Because Rihanna and her Savage campaign, Savage Fenty campaign. Yeah, so I ordered some. As soon as it gets here, y'all going to see my titties left and right.
Kenrya: We already see your titties left and right.
Erica: I'm sorry.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, the world needs more. Do you know what I mean? There's never too much. Never too much, never too much.
Erica: Okay, so.
Jodie Slaughter: I have completely fucked up y'all, just completely derailed.
Erica: No. This is exactly what we need and I love it, I absolutely love it. Okay. So we going to turn to your current book, your latest work, “Just One More.”
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Erica: Tell us about that.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, “Just One More.” I just wanted to write something that was Black and fun and sweet and smutty and filthy. And I was just that's it. And I was like, I want to put it out on Valentine's day because I'm single and I'm not doing shit. But I like... You know what I mean? I still like Valentine's day. And I was like, I want to write about two people who like Valentine's day sort of unabashedly and barbers, because barbers are so sexy and they're sluts and I love it.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, I say slut in the least shamey way possible. I live for it.
Erica: No they're thots, I love it though.
Jodie Slaughter: They are!
Erica: They keep... They always have cash on them.
Kenrya: Always have cash.
Jodie Slaughter: Always crispy.
Erica: They smell good.
Jodie Slaughter: And I have such a fondness for barbers and I know this is going to sound so... So I told you that my grandmother was a hairdresser and my grandfather was an engineer, but he's my step-grandfather who my grandmother married when my mom was young. My biological grandfather was a barber.
Kenrya: It's in your blood.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. I spent a lot of time when I was young in his barbershop because granny would make me sweep and shit. And he would just let me, because they had their own, and he would just let me run around. Literally he'd talk the old Black man's ears off because I would meet people later in life and be like, "Yeah, I remember you used to be talking," but I just have a fondness for... I just remember such good memories and I was like, "I need a barber," and yeah. So that was the inception of that. I know.
Erica: With a beard.
Jodie Slaughter: That's just the inception I love. I love the smell of a smock.
Erica: Yeah. The powder has a certain smell and that blue stuff. Yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: Hair salons, barbershops there are so... And I went natural because I didn't want any, my grandmother did my hair from when I was…
Erica: She was like "I don't want no damn perm no more."
Jodie Slaughter: ... until when she died. Listen, I had a relaxer at four. Listen, I know.
Kenrya: Wait, did you granny put you in them curls, the rollers.
Jodie Slaughter: Roller wrap. It was a... Rosetta was incredibly traditional.
Kenrya: Yes Rosetta.
Jodie Slaughter: When I was about 13, I was like, "Please, can we start the flat iron. Please."
Erica: She used the Marcel joints.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, or the roller wrap. And so she had to get my cousin Sharnella, who also, they worked in the shop together. I have a lot of hairdressers in my family to teach her how to flat iron. Cause she was like...
Jodie Slaughter: All old Black lady clients, we don't do that. They want the roller wrap. And I was like I'm sick of sitting-
Kenrya: They want a roller wrap and maybe a blue [Crosstalk 00:17:16].
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. And I was like I want it straight because I was going through a little emo phase. And she was like, "No."
Kenrya: You got to bump them ends.
Jodie Slaughter: I wanted to put color in my hair. I wanted a part that was right here that went like this. She said "No." I wanted a side bang, she was like, "Okay, we can do a little something," and it was barely. So she would.
Kenrya: With a real hard curl at the bottom.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen! She would not let me experiment with my hair. I mean, for a while when I was young, I would have the twisties, the little twist and then sometimes some straight back.
Erica: Some murder braids.
Jodie Slaughter: But I put it into that when I went on vacation with my friend and we were in like Indianapolis and this old white man was like, "Hi, little boy." And I was like, we're not doing that ever again anymore, ever. But I went to an Easter Girl Scout parade in a pink velour sweatshirt and some pink Timbs and some straight backs. So that's what I was doing.
Kenrya: I cannot.
Jodie Slaughter: So yeah. Yeah. That's where I was and-
Erica: I'm sorry, I had to mute myself while I stop snorting.
Jodie Slaughter: No listen. But she did my hair. She and my cousin Sharnella, who were both family, were the only people who ever did my hair and my mom or whatever. So I always viewed getting my hair done as such a fraught, like emotionally fraught obviously, but intimate experience. And after she died, I didn't want to go to anybody else and so I was having my mom put relaxer in my hair in the kitchen. And then I was finally like, "all right, that's it. We're just going to not do that shit anymore." So I have a huge fondness for like hairdressers, hair salons, barbers and I was like, "I need to write a barber."
Kenrya: So the main characters in “Just One More” are: there's a male protagonist, who's a barber, and then the female protagonist is a tattoo artist. Right?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: And they both love Valentine's day. And one very special Valentine's day, they cross each other's paths, right?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: We don't want to give too much away, so we'll make sure we put a link to that in the show notes so that cats can read it as well.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah it's filthy, so definitely read it. I mean-
Erica: Yes, we had picks of the sex scenes. Kenrya was like, "Well, we going to read this one." I said "No, bitch. No, bitch. We got another one we got to read."
Kenrya: And I read it for the first time as I was recording it. Oh God. Okay, this is great.
Erica: It was spicy. It was spicy.
Jodie Slaughter: I love it.
Kenrya: Yeah. So speaking of which last week we read an excerpt from “White Whiskey Bargain,” which I kept calling “White Whiskey Bottom.”
Jodie Slaughter: You know what, actually, now that I think about it, that's a good title. It's a different book, but it's a good title.
Kenrya: Yes, but...
Jodie Slaughter: One that I might have to write.
Kenrya: I would like to see it. I like it. So “White Whiskey Bargain” stars Hannah and she's forced to take over a family business after her mother dies. What sparked the idea for this book?
Jodie Slaughter: I wanted to write... I'm born in Birmingham, Alabama, but-
Kenrya: My family is from Birmingham.
Jodie Slaughter: My dad's family is. My mom's family, Louisville, Kentucky. We moved back when I was two that's where I was raised. That's where I live now. I have always had such a fascination with Appalachia, Kentucky specifically. Even though Appalachia is a very large, but because one of my parents spent quite a bit of time in Appalachia, Kentucky, and I was always super fascinated by it. And I was always very fascinated about like, first of all, we don't see a lot of like content about Appalachia period.
Kenrya: Especially Affrilachians.
Jodie Slaughter: Exactly. When we do, they're always white. So there are people who like-
Erica: We think Dolly Parton is the only one.
Jodie Slaughter: Exactly. There are people who like don't even know, but there are large populations of people of color, Black and Brown people who live and have lived in Appalachia for decades, making a life. And that's what I wanted to write about. And when I was sort of like conceptualizing that idea, because I kind of like sometimes writing characters that are a little sometimes morally gray in certain areas and skirt the law. Like I'm not interested so much in people who play by the rules in a world where I feel that like the concept of like justice is...
Kenrya: Skewed as fuck. What the fuck is that?
Jodie Slaughter: It doesn't mean, the concept of just people who like quote unquote follow the law, doesn't mean as much to me in a world where we know that to be unjust. Yeah. And I was just like, moon shining is fun, it's illegal. I was like, it's really interesting. So I'm just going to like write a story about, kind of not Romeo and Juliet, but rival rivalries. And I'm only going to have Black and Brown people as the main characters.
Erica: Well, I loved it, absolutely loved it. And I think I noted this when we were discussing the book, I love that your characters are flawed, but not in this like... They're just people and not in this, you know...
Kenrya: It's not a fatal flaw.
Erica: Gasp stare at the camera. I can't believe this happened. They're people, shit happens. You make decisions because of a variety of reasons and you just deal with it, you know? So I fucking loved the book and loved the fact that you set it in Appalachia.
Jodie Slaughter: Either way, I love Affrilachians, I love that word.
Kenrya: I know!
Erica: I know, because I'm from Missouri from the Midwest. And when I grew up hearing about Appalachia, you think about Dolly Parton and coal mining, but no, there's a whole... We're everywhere, and not only are we everywhere, we have our own cultures and communities everywhere.
Jodie Slaughter: That's a big part to me when I was trying to figure out... So Javier, his family is Mexican American and what I was trying to convey that as respectfully as possible. And when I was conceptualizing like, okay, how are they going to talk? Am I going to put how they talk in the dialogue? Not just say they have accents, but type everything out is...
Kenrya: Like on Zora Neale Hurston, how do you...
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. I thought, these people have been in this place for generations. They're going to talk like the people in Appalachia talk, they're going to have accents, but they're also going to retain, because there are things about their individual cultures that are so deep rooted but they're also going to retain that as well as have their own thing, because you can't be that isolated and not have your own thing. But also come from two groups of people whose cultures are very deep rooted, very proud and not also retain that as well. So it was really fun and really challenging, but incredibly important to me.
Kenrya: Wow. What kind of research kind of went into making that happen?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh Lord. I did a lot of reading, a lot of articles of which to be honest, there needs to be more research about Black and brown people in Appalachia, but there isn't a ton, but I did a lot of reading. And then I did a lot of talking to my mother who spent, I want to say a couple of years in Harlan, Kentucky, actually. And so a lot of the people that she did interact with were outsiders like her, but a lot of them were also native. So we talked lot about that. And then I did watch some of the show Justify, which is very white. But it's also a good, interesting representation community wise. So yeah, it's an amalgamation of reading, watching, listening.
Erica: So you do a beautiful job building intimacy between the two main characters. Just the pazole, is that what you call it? I thought that was just a beautiful scene. We're going to cook and it's just beautiful. But...
Kenrya: It's also a good dish. I make two different kinds, red and green.
Erica: I made a red one. It was so good. But bitch we were farting for like fucking years. You could have gone to the moon with the gas that was coming out of this body. But then...
Kenrya: We mostly eat beans in my house so it's not...
Erica: But transition from farting. You have some nasty ass scenes in this book. I fucking loved them. And for the scene that we read, we read the one where Hannah and Javier masturbated in front of each other. Fucking amazing. It was hot as hell. It was just intimate and sensual without, ’cause we always talk about sex as just actual penetration, and it's so much more than that. What do you want people to take away from that particular scene?
Jodie Slaughter: I want people to take away... There are so many ways to have sex. There are so many ways to enjoy sex. There are so many ways to have a partner or partners be with them, turn them on, get them off without ever having to lay a finger on them, which I think is incredibly sexy to me. I love dirty talk. It's an overwhelming thing in my books because I'm just into it and so I think that's a big thing in there. I just think, try it. You know what I mean? If you're into it, if you're interested in it, because it can get you far.
Erica: Girl, it can get you there.
Kenrya: It got them far.
Jodie Slaughter: It got them there. I think romance and erotica does a fantastic job of exploring the many ways there are to have sex. And I don't think I particularly did anything groundbreaking here, but I definitely want this to be another representation of a really great way to be intimate, to be sexy and it doesn't have to be a thing. I didn't want Javier to think, "Oh, I'm so jealous of that or whatever." And the concept of Hannah, in the scene, she squirts, but she also says, I can make me do it, but you probably can't...
Kenrya: She says, “I'll teach you, sure, but it's going to take some work.”
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, exactly right and I wanted that to be how it is. When you're by yourself... But you can be by yourself and with other people at the same time. I just wanted to show something like that.
Kenrya: Yeah. And I love that the squirting was not a big deal, you know what I mean? It was just what she does. There was no, "Oh, she's embarrassed." She didn't want to do it in front of him. He didn't make some big scene, you know what I mean? He came over, he picked up the towel, he said, "All right, let's go clean up."
Jodie Slaughter: That's what we in the fan fiction world, which is how I got my start being interested in writing, called wet and messy.
Erica: So fan fiction, what was your first fan fiction you wrote?
Jodie Slaughter: My first, oh God. I read fan fiction for years before I wrote anything. But the first... What was the first...
Erica: Oh, come on, embarrass yourself.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. I actually forgot because I did write something very early on. When I was, I want to say I was maybe 13. There was this band that nobody knows called McFly. They're a British pop rock band. Just four boring white boys. I had written this, but I was just in love because of course. And this is back when, especially with a band. It wasn't on fanfiction.net or AO3. It was on message boards. I don't even think I ever finished it, a self not a self insert, but a Black OC. OC meaning original character, excuse me. I have to explain the terminology. With one of the band members, that's the first thing I ever wrote. But I got more serious about writing fan fiction a few years ago when I got really deep into “The Walking Dead” fandom and started writing Michonne and that's where I met my writing group of fan fic writers and they're why I'm here.
Erica: We're going to have to put a pin in that and talk to you about that one.
Jodie Slaughter: Filthy. I wrote some and it's good.
Erica: That's will be like, that's my kind of drink, I like it. Well it's funny because we interviewed Christina C. Jones and she said...That's why I asked, what's yours?
Jodie Slaughter: Hers is much less embarrassing because I understand her even from now as a 26-year-old. I get it. Me? Looking back at I'm like, "Girl, you were... No."
Jodie Slaughter: Y’all are going to Google it and look at me and think, oh man...
Kenrya: I'm definitely going to Google it.
Erica: Wait, they got one dude that's white.
Jodie Slaughter: They're so white and they're British so they're even whiter.
Erica: And the wind in his hair goes like this.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, That's probably Dougie, does he have a nose ring or lip ring. Which one did he have?
Erica: I guess he's the spicy one. The urban one?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, maybe that's Harry, he's a little tanner. My favorite one...
Erica: These motherfuckers are...
Kenrya: There's no tan.
Erica: It's like you're milk colored, you're skim colored, you're 2% milk colored.
Jodie Slaughter: My favorite one was Tom who's the very blonde one, because he was a nerd. And I thought, "Oh, he likes Star Wars and I don't care about Star Wars, but I think I like nerds or whatever."
Erica: So just so you know, they are coming back. The picture that I'm looking at of them is from 2019.
Kenrya: Oh they're grown.
Erica: Yeah. They have a sold-
Kenrya: They signed a record deal.
Erica: They have a sold-out show. None of them are blonde anymore because they've grown. But now I do see the blonde one with the very early 2000's tie.
Jodie Slaughter: I think that's Tom and he was my favorite.
Kenrya: This one's kind of cute.
Jodie Slaughter: That was Dougie.
Kenrya: He's kind of cute.
Erica: That's the one with the hair.
Jodie Slaughter: He's the youngest one.
Kenrya: Yeah. I can see that. Only in theory.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, they were my life for a good two years. It was so dark because this was 2007. So none of my friends, they were just this random, they never became big here... So you wouldn't turn... Nobody knew them.
Kenrya: Yeah that one, he's cute as an adult.
Erica: All chiseled and...
Kenrya: I like a little hair situation and a mascara situation. I do.
Erica: And if you saw your partner...
Kenrya: I know he's not that at all.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God.
Kenrya: Oh, that's okay. I'm the one who was always a little attracted to Captain Jack Sparrow.
Jodie Slaughter: Were you really? I never got there.
Kenrya: A little dirty, a lot of mascara.
Erica: He looks like his balls stink.
Erica: Bitch, you like Jim Jones.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. Wait a second though.
Kenrya: He always looks dirty.
Erica: But he looks scruffy.
Kenrya: He looks like if you did this you would leave a streak on his face.
Jodie Slaughter: He's fine.
Erica: Thank you.
Kenrya: He looks like he hasn't bathed.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. But the thing about that is that sometimes they can look-
Erica: Break it down for me, sis.
Jodie Slaughter: Not dirty enough. I tweeted yesterday, this is another questionable white man attraction. That Chris Evans, the only time I really see it for him is when you know he's been in Boston for a long time, because you start clicking.
Erica: His accent is thicker, a little scruffier.
Jodie Slaughter: He starts wearing the white rib tank top. I don't want to call it a traditional name.
Kenrya: What do you call it, the traditional A-shirt?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. He has shitty tattoos. He looks a little filthy and Katrina Jackson and I, I said because Katrina Jackson was like, yes! And I said he looks like a grimy, who will you fuck you in an alley and then buy you a slice of pizza after.
Erica: You like anal with pepperoni?
Jodie Slaughter: Sometimes you need to do it and you need to say, [crosstalk 01:02:28] listen, I know I'm going to have to go get some cranberry juice tomorrow. But it's worth it. Sometimes if they're a little grimy, its okay, it's good.
Erica: Therefore, Jim Jones gets all the stars.
Jodie Slaughter: I see it for Jim Jones. I do.
Erica: Thank you.
Jodie Slaughter: I do, unfortunately.
Kenrya: All right. We just going to have to agree to disagree there.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, Michael B. Jordan, who does a paper bag test with every woman he's ever been with, let alone kids. I just think he's just so fine. And it's so dark to me.
Kenrya: I like him from here to here. I just want to see the chest and the abs like from “Creed” time, but don't look at him. Because like you said, it's the paper bag situation. You ain't checking for me at all.
Jodie Slaughter: It's disgusting.
Kenrya: Yeah. I can't. And Erica always says I ruin people, but I know people who know him...
Erica: Here's the thing, Kenrya has been in the industry for so long. And so as my best friend, I will literally text her in the middle of the day and say I like beep and she'll say, “I had a friend that worked with him…” I'm just like bitch. So I do still share my stories of who I desire. However...
Kenrya: You just know I might ruin them.
Erica: I just know that I got to get it firmly in my loins. That I'm going to fuck them whether or not. And then I tell Kenrya and she might, or she might not, most of the time she ruins the fantasy.
Kenrya: I do...
Erica: Well no, she tries to, but I'm thinking, you know what, these loins...
Jodie Slaughter: Some of them are deep seeded, depending on they want what they want.
Erica: Exactly. These loins want what they want.
Kenrya: And that's fine, but it's my duty to tell you what I know, what you choose to do with that information.
Jodie Slaughter: Kenrya, who is your number one celeb crush right now?
Kenrya: Oh, I don't know.
Jodie Slaughter: Don't say you don't have any!
Kenrya: I don't know if I have one.
Erica: Bitch, I got a whole list. One, Rihanna, two, Jonathan Majors because that man, look like he could knock the civil rights out my pussy.
Jodie Slaughter: He's a man.
Erica: He's a good man. Look, he just look all negrofied, let me fuck your negro pussy.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen! He's civil rights fine and you know he's going to go to work, he's going to provide.
Erica: He got them John Henry arms.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God, have you been watching “Lovecraft Country”?
Erica: Yes bitch.
Kenrya: She's sick.
Jodie Slaughter: [inaudible 01:05:13] ain't shit, it ain't a sliver of shit. I still think I can make it work.
Erica: I can make it work.
Jodie Slaughter: That's how fine he is.
Erica: Vogue just did a 24 hours with.
Kenrya: Oh I saw, I didn't watch it yet though. [crosstalk 01:05:31] that's the only image I saw.
Jodie Slaughter: Women have to change those sheets.
Erica: The dogs be sitting on the corner of the bed, looking at us like "Mama, why are you doing that to daddy?" Shut up kid!
Jodie Slaughter: Oh my God.
Erica: Yes. And the thing is, after seeing that, this changes my thoughts of him because I'm a bird and I feel like I might be a little too birdy for him because I'm going to be like, "I'll fuck you to some Jodeci." And he says, “No, let's put on some Sade.” And I say, "No, Jodeci motherfucker." He looks like he's a little refined?
Jodie Slaughter: Y'all could settle in the middle of some Floetry.
Erica: Yeah, we could, until she starts singing.
Kenrya: Oh, I have some Floetry on my list. Yeah. It's on my playlist.
Erica: All right. I'm sorry.
Jodie Slaughter: He probably wants to listen to The Roots all the time. Like can we listen to some Gucci Mane? I get it. I need supplies. We need something to really...
Erica: And he has been very, very active with regard to the political campaign season.
Jodie Slaughter: I know that makes Miss Pretty Pussy even more... Because there's nothing to me like [crosstalk 01:06:59] I'm sorry but watching, okay. I think that because my ideal is “Moonlight,” that scene with Trevante Rose is driving...
Kenrya: I can get with you there, I can't get with you on Plies, but Trevante all day.
Jodie Slaughter: I would sleep with Plies, but I don't know that I'm looking at him like I think he's so sexy, like physically, but I still would. There's something there.
Erica: Let's say that my bar is low, but I'd fuck a lot.
Jodie Slaughter: You get hot for Kirk Franklin too?
Kenrya: Do you really?
Erica: Yeah. I'd give him some gospel pussy. Okay. Sorry.
Jodie Slaughter: I can kind of see it. His wife is so beautiful, I'd do them both. I feel they're so little though. I think I'm taller than both of them probably [crosstalk 01:08:07].
Erica: Me too, I'd probably fuck them in half, but you know what? I'll just put you back together and say, “Here's some Band-aids, talk to you later! Bye.”
Jodie Slaughter: Kenrya's face is saying, "These bitches are..."
Kenrya: No not at all.
Erica: Kenrya's been my best friend for 20 years. This bitch understands. She gets it.
Kenrya: I do.
Jodie Slaughter: You need the balance.
Erica: She's the yin to my yang, because what's fucked up is I'm loud about it. This bitch is quiet. She'll just slink back in and be like, "Hey!"
Jodie Slaughter: I have a friend like that too. Filthy, whose just filthy!
Erica: Bitch, put your titty back in your shirt.
Kenrya: That happened!
Erica: Yeah, it definitely did. I said, “Bitch do you not see that titty out? Goddamn!”
Kenrya: We had a whole session in the car, I was loving it.
Erica: And then she just came up.
Kenrya: I didn't know it was still out.
Erica: I was babysitting her daughter and here she just comes up. I said, "Hey girl, put your titty away."
Kenrya: I mean, to be fair, you've seen my titties.
Erica: I know but Goddamn, have some respect for your nipple. It's just out and flinging in the wind. I'm classy, I don't do that.
Kenrya: That was our second date. And we still together!
Erica: Mind you. I got drunk on the Potomac and definitely was flashing my titties.
Kenrya: You had your whole entire everything out? Yes.
Erica: And this was right after radiation. I asked, "I was showing my titties?" My homegirl said, "Yes, radiation burns and all."
Jodie Slaughter: I live for it.
Erica: Hashbrown breast cancer. That was from Kimmy Schmidt.
Kenrya: Okay. I have a question. Do you have a favorite line or passage from “White Whiskey Bargain” that you would like to share?
Jodie Slaughter: I do. And we actually kind of broached on it a little earlier. It's this scene a little right after Javier comes back and he kind of confronts Hannah and he's like, "You made me feel like and here's why." And they make the pazole.
Erica: Look at that vulnerability.
Kenrya: Using his words!
Jodie Slaughter: That's the sexiest thing and he tells her that he wants to kiss her.
Erica: Mm consent. I have that highlighted in the book and I wrote consent in all caps because it was sexy.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. That's what I wanted. It made me really emotional when I was rereading it. I'll be honest. I read the books obviously when I'm editing them and then almost never, again.
Kenrya: Same. I don't read my books unless I'm at a reading.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, because jarring. I remember, but sometimes people will be like, "Oh, and when this happened." And I just say uhhuh. Because I'm also a pantser so I just... Oh, I'm sorry. That means like...
Kenrya: What's a pantser?
Erica: I thought this was something both of you know and I thought, “Oh okay.”
Jodie Slaughter: So there are plotters people who really plot out their work chapter by chapter or however they do it. And pantsers, which is short for people who fly by the seat of their pants. You just go.
Kenrya: Oh see now. I set my stuff out chapter by chapter, outline.
Erica: What's your sign Jodie?
Jodie Slaughter: I'm a Leo.
Kenrya: Are you?
Erica: You saw her, look at her face when she said.
Jodie Slaughter: What else would I be?
Erica: A pantser seems very Gemini. Someone said Geminis, they don't know what they're saying until the words come out their mouth and it's just like, "Where will this sentence take you?"
Kenrya: So, she's a Gemini.
Erica: If I was a writer, it'd be like, where will this story take you? Let's just see.
Jodie Slaughter: That's what I am. It's what I have. I've tried. It'll probably never see the light, I had this gorgeous Black heist novel starting this like finance Black lead, and this PI, this finance Black PI, and he's like trying to catch her. And I was like, okay, I want to get this done in a reasonable amount of time. So I plotted out every chapter, and then I finished it. I was like, well, it feels like I've written it already. So, you know, that's it.
Kenrya: Okay. We all need you to put some sex scenes in it, and then publish it, and then come back.
Erica: Because this sounds really good.
Jodie Slaughter: I know. It was, I think it's so good.
Erica: Do it.
Jodie Slaughter: I might in like a year. I might be able to-
Erica: I mean, you probably want to sneak a chapter to me. I won't tell nobody.
Jodie Slaughter: I might put you on my pre-reader list. Yeah.
Erica: Yes bitch, please. Thank you very much.
Jodie Slaughter: Because I have some things.
Erica: Or I'll tell your mama about Plies.
Jodie Slaughter: No! Speaking of y'all are probably going to cut, you don't have to cut it out, but it's so... Because we're talking about crushes. My aunt, she got my mother, she was like, Tori, you need to watch the “50 Shades of Grey” movie.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay. So my mother did it.
Erica: Did she try to talk to you about it?
Jodie Slaughter: No, but she's become obsessed with it. She watches them all. And I ended up because I was-
Kenrya: But they're so bad. I watched the first two, they're so bad.
Jodie Slaughter: What I found out is that she thinks Jamie Dornan is fine.
Kenrya: Oh, okay.
Jodie Slaughter: And that's what it is.
Kenrya: All right.
Jodie Slaughter: She was like, can you get this thing called... What is that show he's in? He's in a show with Gillian Anderson where he's a serial killer, by the way.
Kenrya: Is that the one that's on Netflix right now?
Jodie Slaughter: It might be. I think it was, but she was like, can you get that on my TV for me so I can watch it?
Jodie Slaughter: I had to subscribe. I was like, could you watch it in seven days? Because I have to subscribe to the Sundance Channel and I don't feel like paying $7.99 a month. And she was like, yeah. And she watched it in two days, the whole show. My mom don't even like light-skinned men. She thinks Sam Elliott, you know, old white Sam Elliott with-
Erica: From “Law and Order”?
Jodie Slaughter: He might be. He was in a “Road House”. Got me throwing this pen around. He's got a mustache.
Kenrya: Who the fuck is Sam Elliot?
Erica: “Law and Order” on the screen.
Jodie Slaughter: It might be.
Kenrya: Oh, with the mustache!
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: She thinks he's fine?
Jodie Slaughter: He's maybe the only White man she thinks is fine.
Kenrya: Your mom? Please. Stop.
Jodie Slaughter: Somehow Jamie Dornan is on that. She's like, oh, he's so sexy. And I'm like, ugh.
Kenrya: I mean, we all have, oh he was in “Tombstone.”
Erica: Yeah, I'm like, he looks real Western-y, but okay.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, he is.
Erica: All right, ma.
Jodie Slaughter: I have no clue what's going on in that woman's brain, but yeah.
Kenrya: Now I want to watch “Tombstone.” Because that's got Val Kilmer.
Jodie Slaughter: I just jogged your memory.
Kenrya: You did.
Erica: I don't think I've ever seen “Tombstone.”
Jodie Slaughter: I haven't either.
Kenrya: It's so good. Yeah, okay. I'm having a realization about myself.
Jodie Slaughter: You think Sam Elliott's fine too?
Kenrya: No, but Val Kilmer in that movie is very, you know.
Jodie Slaughter: Val Kilmer?
Kenrya: Val Kilmer does not do it for me, but Val Kilmer in that movie...
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah.
Kenrya: And it's kind of in the same line as Jack Sparrow.
Erica: But just [inaudible 01:16:01], because if you saw her partner. When we get off, I want you to show her a picture of your partner. Because you're going to be like what the fuck?
Kenrya: No, I don't think it's about looks, [crosstalk 00:01:16:15]. It's the androgyny, I think that I'm [crosstalk 01:16:15] that I like. It's the androgyny for me.
Erica: Your partner is-
Kenrya: No, I know he is a big Black man. He is not. Yeah. I am drawn to androgynous people. I think it's really what it is.
Jodie Slaughter: I think that 100%.
Kenrya: Like studs. Yeah. God.
Erica: You can have my baby. You can get me pregnant anytime.
Kenrya: That's what it is.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. I get it. I tend to be really into the feminine. So I opt in also very into feminine men. You know Saucy Santana? I looking at him all the time and I'm like, there's something about him that's like sexy. I'm sorry. There's sex appeal there.
Erica: Do you know who Saucy Santana is Kenrya?
Kenrya: No, I'm Googling.
Erica: He's a fucking bird on “Love and Hip Hop.”
Kenrya: Oh, okay. I see this, and I'm…
Erica: Walk him like a dog, aye, aye. Wait. Okay, no. No.
Jodie Slaughter: He's got by...
Erica: Park that big mack truck right in this little garage.
Jodie Slaughter: Garage.
Jodie Slaughter: There's something that I'm really interested. I'm very attracted to the feminine.
Kenrya: Yeah. Oh, like Uncle Clifford?
Erica: Now Uncle Clifford is a different thing.
Erica: Uncle Clifford is fine.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes, [crosstalk 01:17:35] fine!
Erica: I would fuck with Uncle Clifford, but Saucy Santana is like-
Jodie Slaughter: Well he's a bird, but I also think that's fun.
Erica: I'm a bird. I can't. Did you see this nigga? Him and his homeboys, his home girls, they went and got dressed up on this private street and did this whole shoot for Black Lives Matter.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. That was humiliating. It was awful. Yeah.
Erica: They got dressed up in Black.
Jodie Slaughter: He was like [crosstalk 01:18:00], and people were like this is not okay.
Kenrya: Oh, I saw that! I didn't know who that was. I was like, what is this?
Erica: His crew, yeah.
Jodie Slaughter: I have questionable taste, to be honest. That's what I do, but when he got caught people were like, this is not it. He was like, at least I went out and took pictures, and y’all not doing nothing. It was like, baby, be quiet and just look back at it, and.
Erica: Now I will forever see Saucy Santana clips on TikTok.
Jodie Slaughter: Please. Please. I'm going to be like, listen, I get it.
Jodie Slaughter: There is sex appeal.
Kenrya: Oh my God. I love this. Yeah. It's the androgyny for me. Like right now, I think we're going to watch “Tombstone.” “I'm yo huckleberry,” yes! Yeah. I'm going to have to.
Jodie Slaughter: You about to get randy.
Kenrya: Oh my God. My partner's going to be like, “Bitch what?”
Erica: Okay. Well, okay. So which of your characters in “White Whiskey Bargain” do you identify with most?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh Lord.
Jodie Slaughter: That's really hard. I feel like it would be easy to say Hannah, I guess. I feel like maybe this is a bit of a cop out, I think there is a little bit of me in both Hannah and Javier. The part of me in Javier that is like very loyal to his close family, to his parents. There's the part of me in Javier that can be a little closed off, but also desperately seeking to change that, to be more vulnerable. There's a part of me in Hannah that kind of just wants to like keep things as simple as possible sometimes.
Jodie Slaughter: And then also the part of me in Hannah that's like take charge. So, I will say, I think it really is a mix of both.
Kenrya: That's not a cop out.
Jodie Slaughter: You sure? Okay.
Erica: There were more than two characters in a book, so just pick [crosstalk 00:01:20:36].
Jodie Slaughter: That's true. That's true. I wish I had a cleaner, more succinct answer. Yeah, it's both. It's both of mine.
Kenrya: Okay. What are you reading right now?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, so right now I'm reading, it's on a romance, I'm reading “Mexican Gothic” by, I think it's Sylvia Moreno-Garcia. It's sort of, kind of horror, magical realism type thing. I'm doing it as a buddy read for Halloween with one of my friends.
Kenrya: Oh, nice. That's so cute.
Erica: All we do is drink.
Jodie Slaughter: I don't drink. I would smoke, but none of my friends smoke, so whatever.
Kenrya: All of our friends do both.
Jodie Slaughter: At least rather, none of my friends in this group, because my best friend texted me this morning and was like, I'm taking an edible at six in the morning. I'm about to get lit, let's go. But she's in dental school, so that's why.
Erica: She needs to relax.
Jodie Slaughter: More than anybody. But romance-wise, what am I reading? What am I going to read next, rather? Oh, there's a “Big City Heat Anthology,” and Lucy Eden has a story in it called “The Wolf of Wall Street.” And it's like a wolf shifter.
Kenrya: See, she likes the supes too.
Jodie Slaughter: I do. What really got me super into reading and romance was “Twilight.” Like I say it everywhere, I'll speak it forever, because it is what it is, as problematic as it is. So, I did spend a long time reading paranormal stuff and I got away from it. But I'm trying to get back into it because there is something really entertaining about it. So, I'm really hoping to...
Erica: I think I've read a few really good paranormal romances by Black women, so will share.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, Chencia C. Higgins, she has a series, I forget what it's called.
Erica: We read Chencia Higgins, but we read “Benefriends” from her, right?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes, yes.
Jodie Slaughter: She has, I think it's a series. I think it's called like Wolves of Texas, Wolves of West Texas, something like that. It's real hot.
Erica: We might have Wings of... No. Wings of Fire.
Kenrya: You about to make some shit up.
Erica: No, our kids. What our kids read. What's the one?
Kenrya: There's one sitting right here.
Erica: The one with the first season, the fairies and the-
Kenrya: Oh, I can't remember what it's called, but yeah.
Erica: It was good.
Kenrya: It was good. I can't remember what it's called right this moment though.
Kenrya: There's a lot of books up there.
Erica: We've been acting a fool the whole time, but I want to hit you with a few rapid-fire questions. They're never rapid fire because I'm like, bitch what?
Jodie Slaughter: Okay.
Kenrya: And then we have to chime in with our own answers.
Erica: Okay, one, favorite drink?
Jodie Slaughter: Sweet tea. I was going to say water. That was what I was going to say first. I know that's awful, but sweet tea.
Erica: No, that's good.
Kenrya: Yeah, no. Sparkling water. I drink sparkling water all day.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, I can't you know what's so awful, I like to lukewarm too, like room temperature water. I don't like cold water.
Kenrya: I drink my flat water like that all day, but I also drink sparkling water and I like that really cold. It just depends on if it's got bubbles or not. Yeah. Yeah, E? What's your favorite drink?
Erica: I was going to say a margarita with mezcal in it.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, see, I said I don't really drink, but if I'm choosing an alcoholic drink, it's a dark and stormy. I like ginger.
Erica: Oh, I love ginger. Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative), okay. All right.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay.
Erica: Country or city?
Jodie Slaughter: See, this is not rapid fire.
Erica: It never is.
Jodie Slaughter: City. Yeah, city.
Erica: You Kenrya?
Erica: Yeah, city.
Kenrya: Too many horror movies are set in the country.
Kenrya: Yeah, no thank you.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm in Kentucky, like please.
Erica: So this one, I thought about our dear friends, Hannah and Javier. Your house or theirs?
Jodie Slaughter: Theirs.
Kenrya: That was quick.
Jodie Slaughter: [crosstalk 01:25:20] house is always fun, more fun. You know like when you had friends and it was like, I want to go to your house. Like I want to fuck in your bed.
Kenrya: Let's mess up your sheets.
Erica: See, I know that my sheets are clean.
Jodie Slaughter: That's fair. That's an issue with straight, like [inaudible 01:25:41]
Kenrya: I have fucked in the car, because I asked when the last time the sheets were changed, and they said it had been a couple of weeks, and I said, we gon’ to fuck this car. How about that?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, yeah.
Kenrya: I would rather. And I had a babysitter at my house, so I was like, we're just going to fuck in the car.
Kenrya: I mean, I cars. What do you want from me?
Jodie Slaughter: I mean, that's what they're for.
Jodie Slaughter: That's what they're for.
Erica: Big wedding, little wedding?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, little. No wedding. Little wedding. Courthouse.
Kenrya: That's how I got married.
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah. If I'm going to, I think I really don't want to like have the aisles full of people that neither of us really cares that much about, we have to pay all that money.
Kenrya: Oh, no.
Jodie Slaughter: I don't want one of those giant dresses, like a little, people we care about the most. We go to the courthouse, just us and like our parents or whatever, and then we can have a party after. That's the ideal.
Erica: Red lobster.
Jodie Slaughter: I don't like seafood.
Kenrya: So, we went to Red Lobster after I got married.
Jodie Slaughter: I'm sorry.
Kenrya: It's fine. I got married at the courthouse. Erica was my maid of honor, and then we got on the train and we went to Red Lobster in Times Square.
Jodie Slaughter: I love that.
Erica: I think about Kenrya's wedding day, and it's more about me and her.
Kenrya: It was.
Jodie Slaughter: That's very “Broad City.” Have y’all ever seen “Broad City”?
Kenrya: Yes, yes.
Erica: I love “Broad City”.
Jodie Slaughter: Very Abby and Ilana energy.
Kenrya: The Red Lobster was probably the best thing about the whole fact that we got to be together. I gave y’all, oh you got that Care Bear sticker, the maid of honor badge.
Erica: Yeah, I had my maid of honor badge, it was a Care Bear sticker.
Kenrya: Next time I want a real wedding, but not with people who I don't give a fuck about. First of all, I'm not trying to pay for a bunch of motherfuckers to eat. I just want to be people who I most care about, friends of the marriage.
Jodie Slaughter: You know they're going to complain, they going to be shading like the chicken was, eh.
Kenrya: They don't need to be here.
Jodie Slaughter: No, fuck you. Exactly.
Kenrya: I just want to party. I just don't want
Erica: Party like, yeah. Let's just all kick it and drinks on me.
Kenrya: Yeah. We can get married at the party. We can get married at the party.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yeah. That's a great-
Erica: So, we're having a party and oh, we're going to get married real quick.
Jodie Slaughter: Make it a surprise.
Kenrya: I don't even know if it has to be a surprise. I just want to get married at the party.
Jodie Slaughter: At the party. I think that's a great idea.
Erica: Hey, turn that music down, they got to get married.
Jodie Slaughter: And you know people are going to be like, oh dang, right in the middle of my song.
Erica: I was just about back that ass up.
Kenrya: I would never do that to the people. We would never turn off “Back That Ass Up” for anything. Somebody would have to be dying for me to fucking turn off “Back That Ass Up.”
Erica: Just wait, damn.
Kenrya: Let me get to the Lil Wayne part.
Jodie Slaughter: Lil Wayne.
Kenrya: That is literally the best part.
Erica: Okay, last question.
Jodie Slaughter: Okay.
Erica: Favorite food?
Jodie Slaughter: Macaroni and cheese.
Kenrya: I thought you were going to say mine.
Erica: The corner?
Jodie Slaughter: Yeah, the corner.
Erica: The corner with the crusty piece?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. What's yours?
Kenrya: I don't eat cheese. Mashed potatoes are my favorite.
Jodie Slaughter: Really?
Jodie Slaughter: I don't do much cheese, except for in macaroni. People can just like eat cheese, I can't. I can't. I don't do that.
Erica: My stomach would be pop, locking it, and dropping it.
Jodie Slaughter: Well, that too, but I just don't like it. Because I've only recently become a little lactose-intolerant, but even before.
Erica: Oh, well honey, look down that road, and you see in 10 years, and say I'm going to be lactose intolerant.
Kenrya: It does get worse with repeat exposure and I am allergic to dairy, and I haven't had any in 12, since 2008. Now, there is one thing that I still eat that has cheese in it, and that is the biscuits at Red Lobster. And I just know I'm going to be fucked up.
Erica: Which proves that is not real cheese in it.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, wow.
Kenrya: It's just a poop situation, but it's not vomiting, which is what happens with everything else. So, it's fine.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh, that's good. That's doable.
Kenrya: That is the only dairy.
Jodie Slaughter: You can’t throw up and be on your phone, but you can be like pooping and be on your phone, you know what I mean?
Kenrya: Yeah. I do it all the time. So, it's fine.
Erica: I think my favorite food right now are chicken wings. I just love some fucking chicken wings.
Kenrya: Y'all been ordering from that place over and over again still?
Erica: You open up Uber eats and it's like America's Best, would you like to order your regular? Yes. I want lemon pepper wings, garlic Parmesan, and hot honey barbecue.
Kenrya: When Erica had her last surgery, I was waiting outside forever, because COVID, and I'm texting with her brother and we're trying to figure out what her meal can be, because she's not eating all day because she had to have surgery. And we knew that the only thing she was going to want was fucking wings. And wings were waiting on her ass when she got out of the surgery.
Jodie Slaughter: That is love. That's love.
Erica: She loaned it. She loaned it.
Kenrya: This has been lovely. What's what's next? What are you working on?
Jodie Slaughter: Well, I have some things that I can't say right now.
Erica: You can't share, that's okay.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Kenrya: You have some surprises in store.
Jodie Slaughter: Yes. I have some surprises in store, but I'm also working on like a quarantine novella, another Black romance, an age gap, only ten years, but with like a really sexy sculptor who I'm imagining as Mahershala Ali. And this woman, this gorgeous like bald Black woman I found on Instagram
Erica: You're welcome.
Jodie Slaughter: Listen, I [inaudible 01:31:46]. And they're just like in the desert and they have to quarantine together, and there's some like history.
Kenrya: Oh my God.
Jodie Slaughter: That's something that I can share, that will be finished and hopefully out soon, but other things you'll have to wait on.
Erica: Oh, okay.
Kenrya: That's awesome. Okay. Well for the people who want to be able to keep up, where can they find you?
Jodie Slaughter: You can find me on Twitter. As we said earlier, being generally hilarious @JodieSlaughter. And then on Instagram-
Kenrya: Can you spell it for the folks, please?
Jodie Slaughter: Oh yes. Oh, I'm sorry, at J, O, D, I, E, S, L, A, U, G, H, T, E, R, and then on Instagram @Jodie_Slaughter, both of those Jodie and Slaughter spelled the same way.
Kenrya: Awesome. And your website is JodySlaughter.com?
Jodie Slaughter: Yes.
Jodie Slaughter: Of course I forget my website.
Kenrya: That's okay, that's what we're here for.
Erica: That's what we're here for.
Kenrya: It's okay.
Jodie Slaughter: Oh gosh.
Kenrya: Y’all, this has been so fun.
Jodie Slaughter: It was so fun y’all.
Erica: This has been dope as hell.
Kenrya: I needed this, I'm having a high anxiety life.
Jodie Slaughter: I do too. After the night I had, I was nervous. I was like, I hope I can bring the energy, but y'all are just so like so easy to talk to, so fun. I had such a great time. You made my day.
Kenrya: Same! Thank you so much for coming on.
Erica: This is dope.
Jodie Slaughter: It was. Thank you for having me.
Kenrya: Aw, okay. Let me say this. I got to say the thing, that's it for this week's episode of The Turn On, and thank y’all so much for joining us, and hopefully laughing with us, because we had fun. Shit. If nobody else did, we did.
Erica: Murder braids and an all-pink outfit, if that ain't Midwest, that's some shit from the Midwest.
Kenrya: Y’all, I was crying. Oh my God.
Jodie Slaughter: And the Timbs, don't forget the pink Timbs
Erica: Because you saw that on somebody's video.
Jodie Slaughter: The Camron tip, probably, because this was about 2005. I probably saw “Hey Ma” and was like...
Kenrya: “Yes, he's talking to me.”
Erica: Yeah, mm-hmm (affirmative).
Jodie Slaughter: He's fine too, If we're going to go there.
Kenrya: He is fine.
Jodie Slaughter: Cameron Giles, he is.
Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, I don't want to fuck him, but he is fine.
Jodie Slaughter: No, no, no. He seems like more trouble than he's worth, but very hot.
Kenrya: I'll give you that.
Kenrya: Bye y'all.
Jodie Slaughter: Bye y'all.
Erica: This episode was produced by us, Erica and Kenrya and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, then drop us a five-star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Post your review and email a screenshot to us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and access lots of goodies, including two for one raffle entries. Don't forget to send us your book recommendations, and sex and related questions and follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you soon. Holla.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.