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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to psychic Jamila White about fish dreams, the ways intuition shows up, how to practice energy hygiene, tapping into your own intuitive intelligence, setting boundaries with our ancestors and how connecting with your sensual self can help you get in touch with the rest of yourself.
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Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Kenrya: Welcome back, good people. Today, we're talking to Jamila White, pronouns she and her. Jamila's a psychic medium, life coach, and Reiki master and teacher who helps people go from feeling off balance, fearful of the future, and stuck in a rut to experiencing the clarity, peace of mind, and freedom to live their lives and run their businesses with unconditional joy and purpose. Her intuitive consultations and Akashic records readings are empowering. They are empowering—hat's how you say that word—engaging, uplifting, and laugh out loud funny. Jamila's philosophy is one of empowerment. It's your life, your divine purpose and your choices. Her calling is to share insights to help you clarify your own path to enjoy fulfillment, and to help you recognize and develop your own gift of intuition. A Washington DC area native, and one time “Wheel of Fortune” contestant, Jamila is currently living her best life in Barbados while serving clients all over the world. Yay. Thank you so much for coming on spec.
Jamila: Hey spec. Hey Erica. It's so nice to meet you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited.
Erica: I know. So just a little background on The Turn On. We would not be here if it were not for Jamila, like yeah. In the beginning we were like, I don't know, is this an idea? Should we do it? And in addition to being our intuitive, Jamila is also just like fabulously gifted with all things, startup business, entrepreneurship, and internet. So yeah, when we got the "go on and do it, girl" from you, we were like, “Well, shit, I guess we've got to make this work.”
Jamila: It's so good to see you all actually doing it. I'm so proud of you. I'm excited for you. This went from a conversation two or three years ago to here you are now, in what season four, season five of your podcast. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, do that thing. Do that thing.
Erica: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Kenrya: Why did I not know you were on “Wheel of Fortune”?
Jamila: You didn’t? Because it was before we met, was long before we met. I had just graduated from Howard. And the funny story about that, the short version is, they came to Howard during my senior year to recruit a team for their college episode. And they were going to include, because they were going to film it in Disney World, an all-expense paid trip to Disney World for a week. And that's what I wanted. So I auditioned with 200 other Howard students trying to get that free trip. And you know, they had all these rounds of elimination, and I made it down to the final 10, and I wasn't selected to be on the team of four, but as someone who made it that far through the process, they invited me back on the regular show at my own expense. And I was like, "Yeah, I am broke college student. See ya."
Jamila: But later that summer after I graduated right before I started my full-time job, I was able to go out to L.A. and be on the show. And I came in last place. I knew the answer but every time it was not my turn. I would lose a turn, miss a turn, or it wouldn't be my turn to speak. I'm like, "That's not how it works at home. I can just yell at the TV," but I did win a little bit of money and some nice parting gifts.
Erica: Like a refrigerator and a jet ski?
Jamila: No like some Paul Mitchell hair products in a quote lifetime supply of Lifesavers candy, which basically translated to a $50 gift certificate from some random pick any item catalog. But you know.
Jamila: And every once in a while, it will pop up on a Game Show Network rerun, and I'll get a bunch of calls from people, "I think I just saw you on TV, but you had a perm." Oh yeah. Good times. Good times.
Erica: I'm so mad at this lifetime supply, because I know they're not going to send you a check every week, but I would at least think they would give you, okay, you're going to eat a pack of Lifesavers every day for a week or so.
Jamila: No. Well, apparently, they determined the value of a lifetime of Lifesavers as $50 in the ’90s so that's what it would've been. And then they said, "We're going to give you a gift of the equivalent." So I was able to pick some things from a catalog, and I ended up picking a cooler and a three-way flashlight. I mean, it was weird stuff.
Erica: It's like shit when you're selling, like when you sell a cookie catalog.
Jamila: That was exactly. And I got about $1,300, but once the taxes came out and then I paid for the trip out to Los Angeles from D.C. Yeah, the money, it wasn't much.
Jamila: When I was out there, there was another soror on the show, my sands from Delta Chapter, who I met, and we were so excited because they filmed a week at a time.
Erica: At a time.
Jamila: And you had to just change clothes and pretend like you saw some people yesterday, but you're sequestered with these people all day, like a jury. So you really get to know them, and you start really rooting for them like, "Oh my God, Becky is about to win $35,000, get it in." You know? So yeah, it was fun.
Erica: That's cute.
Jamila: And so me and the soror that I just met, we had an extra day or two, because we both lost. So we were able to hang out in Los Angeles and Hollywood, and we ran into one of the guys from Tony, Toni, Toné at Popeye's Chicken. At the time, they were like a big hot group. This is like 1994. Why are we talking about this?
Erica: This is such a '90s story. I love it.
Jamila: Why are we talking about this?
Erica: Because I'm nosy.
Jamila: Oh yeah. But it was fun. It's just one of those things, and it's like, "Wait, you did what?" Because people always expect me to say yes and she studied this foremost spiritual, such and such, and oh, that's some boring bullshit. Yeah, I was on “Wheel of Fortune,” and I feel like that's one of my best life accomplishments, even though I came in last.
Erica: Yeah. It's certainly fun.
Jamila: And it's funny, I didn't solve any puzzles. So everybody else was getting money, and my thing was still at $0, and it was the last puzzle, and it was a speed round, and it was the last thing. And I guessed the letter P and it turned out to be “a handicapped parking space.” It had a whole bunch of Ps in it. So I guessed, and that's how I got some money. Because at that point I was like, "Please don't let me go home with no money. I will never live this down. I can't be on this show. My grandmother's going to be watching. And I came home with zero money, plus I ain't started my job yet. I had to pay for this trip."
Kenrya: Yeah. So it worked out.
Jamila: It worked out, it was one of those things. Yeah. And Pat Sajak stood on a box. He's very small.
Erica: He looks like he's a tiny tot. He looks like he's a short king.
Erica: Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Kenrya: Did I know?
Erica: Okay. Well that was a great non sequitur. Was that a non sequitur?
Erica: Okay. I just like using words. Okay. So let's jump in. What were the prevailing attitudes about sex and gender in your home growing up, and how do you think that impacts the way you move through the world?
Jamila: Now sex was another story. It really wasn't talked about in my household, at least not with me as the youngest child. And I remember when I was four-ish, I must have been asking my mom a lot of questions about how babies get made, and where babies come from. And she bought me a very detailed elaborate book for children called, “Where Babies Come From” or “How Babies Are Made,” or something like that. And I read that book from cover to cover. I memorized it. I looked at all the pictures, and to this day, I could tell you about the pictures in the book. It was a hippie type book. They were trying to show the stages of body development. So they had a whole family standing side by side, buck naked. These hippie white people with long black hair and all body hair never shaved in no places.
Jamila: And I was just fascinated by these people. It was from kids all the way up to the adults. And I could be looking at these pictures like, "Wow." And I remember thinking, they talked about how babies get made, and that the way that fertilization occurs is that people are, at the time, when they're having sex, they're not really thinking about making a baby. And I'm thinking, "How could you actually be doing that and not think that you're making a baby? You didn't just fall on somebody's penis. So how do you not be thinking about you're not making a baby." I just could not understand that process. Okay, if you're putting food in your mouth, you're thinking I'm eating. So how are you putting something in your body, and not thinking I'm making a baby.
Kenrya: Smarter at four than a lot of grown folks.
Jamila: At that age, I was just like, the connection of why somebody would be having sex except to procreate, like I said, four or five was just beyond me. So growing up, my mom didn't really talk about sex that much at that time. At the time, she was going through her own evolution as a woman, as a parent, as a spiritual being. At the time, she was a Capitol Hill staffer. We grew up in the D.C. area, only wore Ann Taylor type clothing and only wore pumps. I don't think I ever saw my mom in flats ever or sneakers ever at that time. And what's funny now is she's this barefoot earth model, mother goddess, age 76. And for the last like 30 years, 40 years, she's been a holistic healer, a birth doula, massage therapist, a Reiki master, aroma therapist, reflexer, all these things, in the eighties when nobody knew what that shit was.
Jamila: And I was just like, what is that? People were like, "Is your mom in a cult?" because she was doing aromatherapy. Now, you can go to Walmart and get aromatherapy, and at Target.
Jamila: But in the eighties, it was like, "What are you smelling? What is that? Are you getting high off that lavender oil? What is she doing to her children?" So my mom was just very into all of that stuff back then. It's a different world now, but people were not into all that. So she was ahead of her time and not just with that, but with how she chose to live her life, picking up and moving my freshman year, moving out of state, to follow her heart. And I look at that now and understand that what she was teaching me was how to be free.
Jamila: She wasn't teaching it to me like, "Sit down, and this is what I want to tell you," but just how she chose to live her life, even when other people were being very judgmental about her choices, "How are you going to leave your city and your daughter is off to college?" She was like, "Well, I'm done now. Deuces. At the time, I can't say I was happy about it, but I look at that now and how I choose to live. I mean, I picked up and moved to Barbados, and I can't pretend that seeing how my mother picked up and enjoyed her life, played a part in some of my choices about pursuing what makes me happy and making joy a priority. That is so huge for me. I know what it is like to not live with joy, to live in depression and anxiety and clinical, this and that.
Jamila: So living with joy intentionally and not just trying to find some joy after I've done everything else, that matters to me, across the board in terms of how I choose to work, how I choose to live, how I choose to love. It's all about that.
Erica: All right. So Jamila?
Erica: What did you want to be when you grew up?
Jamila: Ooh, I was one of those kids that wanted to be like five different things at once. I would tell people a cheerleader and a veterinarian and a parapsychologist. This was after the “Ghostbusters” movie came out, the first one, a gymnast. At age four, I wanted to own a toy store, and that was what set me on a path to entrepreneurship at such an early age, because I did two years in corporate America coming out of college. The first year I was really trying to do corporate America. The second year I was running my part-time business and planning my exit. So it took one year for me to realize, "Oh, this is not for me. This is environment." I liked the work, but I felt like I was pigeonholed into being a specialist when I am built to do multiple things simultaneously. That's part of my makeup.
Jamila: But at age four, my mom and dad were considering buying a small, independent toy store. And so my mom worked part-time in the toy store to learn the ropes. And so she would bring me in there from time to time. And I just remember walking up and down the aisles with toys, upon toys, upon toys. I'm four, I'm like, "You could have a job in here, and people can pay you to come in here and be with toys, sign me up." And from that point on, I wanted to own a retail store. And my first business was in ecommerce retail, but it was because I was literally trying to open a store, a physical store on Georgia Avenue, and the internet was a brand new thing. And I ended up opening an online shop in 1997 when nobody was even on the internet. We still had dial up that made loud, screechy noises.
Jamila: And most people weren't on the web per se. They were mostly like in AOL, which had a contained community. There weren't any examples. The shopping cart software that we have now that does like 800 things, that did not exist. It did one thing, and it was very expensive. And I had a knuckle buster credit card machine with those old carbon copy things. And I was mostly doing vending. And then I was doing the ecommerce, but it all stemmed from my desire to own a retail store that was planted at age four. And then, came back up at age 20 when I was pledging Delta and met my linesister, Carol, who at age 21, owned a store in Adams Morgan as a full-time college student. And I was just like, "Wait, you own the what?" "I own the dance shop."
Jamila: And I just remember, I met her at the Rush. Long story, we were standing in the corner, trying not to eat the food and talking to each other, for reasons that I can't go into at this time. And we were getting to know each other. Because there was some other women that I knew there, but I didn't know her, so we were getting to know each other. And she mentioned that she owned a store, and my mouth was on the floor. I'm like, "What do you mean you own a store?" And it changed my whole perception of life in that instant and of who I was. Because up until that time, I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. But for some reason, in my mind, you had to be 40 and have done something for 20 years. And then you stopped doing that and then do it for yourself. Even though I had entrepreneurs in my family, nobody used that word.
Jamila: I came from a line of entrepreneurs. My grandmother on my dad's side, had a house cleaning business, and sold clothes out the back of her car, and bought herself a Cadillac in Greenville, North Carolina. And she would drive up to New York and spend time the school year in New York and summers and back in her hometown in Greenville, North Carolina. And that was a big deal. She had a fourth-grade education, but she was able to earn her own living. So even though I had that in my family, and then my dad had started some consulting businesses off and on between that and him working in corporate America, I did not see myself as an entrepreneur. That's what older experienced people do.
Jamila: And here comes this young woman, who we are basically the same age. She's not even a business major. She was a psychology major. And she's telling me she owns a store in Adams Morgan, which for people outside the D.C. area, this is a major commercial strip, very Soho. It was a major commercial strip with stores upon stores, upon stores on the street. And she had a shop, and at that moment, I was like, "If she could do it, I can do it. I don't know how she did it. I'm going to find out how she did it. But if she can do it, I can do it." Little did I know that two years later I'll be starting my own business, but it changed my whole world in that moment.
Jamila: We all in life have these seminal moments where fate happens, and it changes something for you. And it puts you on a trajectory that you may not have been on. I think I would've eventually been an entrepreneur, but definitely not at age 22, 23 going full time, but when I saw that Carol could do it, and she kept that store open for several years. It wasn't easy. She busted her butt, but she had a bunch of us working in there part-time for free. But she did it, and I never looked at myself the same again after that.
Kenrya: Mm, yeah.
Jamila: I was like, "I can do this."
Kenrya: And you are. You talked just a moment ago about those seminal moments. I'm wondering, when did you come into your intuitive self?
Jamila: Ooh, that's a good question. I was intuitive as a kid, although I wouldn't have used that word. I remember my first recollection of knowing that I knew something, I was probably maybe nine-ish, and we went to visit family, friends in New Jersey for Easter. And for Easter dinner, we were all sitting around the table and somebody said, "Pass the salt or something like that." And I froze, because I was just like, "Oh my God," because I had seen that whole scene play out with the same people, some of which I didn't know until that day, sitting at that same table in that same order. And someone had said, "Pass the salt," but I didn't even realize that I had seen it already, until it happened. And I'm like, "Nobody else knows that this already happened," and I'm looking around and everybody's just going about their business.
Jamila: And I knew that I had seen something, that I had already seen it before it happened. And it wasn't significant. Nothing happened during that dinner. It was very uneventful, except for the fact that I had seen it already. And after that, I kept asking my mom questions about what is deja vu. That's the only word that I knew to describe it. I didn't know about clairvoyance and whatever. I kept saying, "What is deja vu?" This feeling that you've already been somewhere. And she said shortly after that, I asked her and she said, this is the word I used. She said, I asked her for a book on the occult, because I went to the library to look up everything I could about to try and understand myself, and what had happened. And it probably had happened before, but that was the first time I was fully aware that something had occurred, and that nobody else saw it.
Jamila: And that I would have these little flashes like that of scenarios. And usually they weren't significant. They were just, if you happen to just fast forward through a movie, you pause in a random place, but nothing major is happening in the plot, it was like that.
Jamila: And I began to devour everything I could. I would read about astrology and dream symbolism. And I was big in astrology and palm reading. And I got a Ouija board, even though we all did what people did with it, and pretend like we're moving it ourselves. And, I started reading about past lives. I was fascinated about past lives.
Jamila: I also had my own past life memories come up, also around that same age, maybe even a little bit younger, but still not having the vocabulary to explain what I was experiencing, even though it was a traumatic past life memory. I think I was maybe seven or eight, and I was at my dad's, and we were watching the movie, “Roots,” the TV mini series, and the Middle Passage scene was so disturbing to me. And it wasn't just because it was a disturbing thing about people being enslaved and brutalized and trafficked essentially.
Jamila: But I knew that I had done that. It wasn't like I'm watching this on TV, and it's disturbing me. It's like, "Oh no, I've done that. I remember this. I remember being chained. I remember being condensed like sardines," and I began to vomit, and I could not explain. And I was having nightmares and I could not explain to my dad or anybody else that I had seen it before. They just thought I was disturbed by a disturbing scene. But I could not explain that, "No, I know this. I was there, and I know what happens in this environment. I can feel it in my body." I could not explain that at that age.
Jamila: Yes, I had a past life memory develop. I didn't have the vocabulary, and I didn't have anybody to even explain to me what that was at that time. So early on, I had these glimpses, but it wasn't until I was an adult, that things began to come all the way out, to where it was more detailed and was more messages about people. And when I was maybe 22-ish, 23, I had been out of college for a little while. And I remember having this very intense dream where there was all these minnows, like a school of minnows, thousands and thousands of minnows swimming. And I just happened to mention it in a conversation on the phone with my mom, and she said, "Oh, you had a fish dream."
Jamila: And I was like, "Yeah, like I said, it was all these fish." She said, "No, no, no, you had a fish dream. That's a thing." And I'm like, "What are you talking about?" I had never heard of that before. And she said, "Your grandmother and great-grandmother used to have those. And that they also just knew things." And that was her way of saying that they, too, were intuitive. And at this point I'm like, "What are you talking about?" I had never heard that before about them and that not only that, but my great-grandmother could look at people and know stuff. And my mother said, "One day they were all sitting at the dinner table and her grandmother looked at her and said, "You're pregnant now." She and my dad had just found out, and they hadn't told anybody yet. And my great-grandmother just knew. She looked at her, she was like, You're pregnant." She also used to have fish dreams and know other things. And I didn't think that much of it. I was like, "Okay, whatever. That's some folklore, some urban myth stuff ."
Jamila: Until, over the next two months, about eight of my friends, most the Delta sorors, revealed that they were pregnant. And I was like, "What are you saying?" Because that's what fish dreams mean is somebody is pregnant or is about to be. And then every time I had a fish dream after that, I would let people know, and sure enough, this outpouring of how did you know or next thing someone got pregnant. And then the dream started getting more and more specific. You know, someone had a gold and black fish, and then they got pregnant by an Alpha. Someone else had a fish swimming in a fountain, and someone was throwing cigarette butts in the fountain. And then the person goes, "Oh, I'm pregnant. And me and my boyfriend, fiancé just had a big fight about him smoking around me when I'm pregnant." Like all of this very detailed stuff started coming.
Jamila: And then I had some other life experiences in the years that followed that, that brought my intuition way out to the front to where the curtain, I would say, between this world and the spirit world was pulled back completely. And I could go back and forth between those two worlds, and the spirit world could go back and forth with me and share information and insights for people. I never thought even as my intuition was growing, that I would be able to say, "Yes, at three o'clock next Friday, I'm going to sit down with you for an hour and just start telling you all these things." That never even occurred to me that, that was a possibility.
Jamila: I was just trying to understand my own life. And I began to start reading about intuition and spirituality and all of these other things. And then the Spirit brought someone into my life around that time. And it's a friend of a friend from Howard, someone I knew, but we weren't real close. This is somebody that I knew. And she called me. At the time, I was still working in internet consulting and internet strategy and marketing. I had that full time business doing that. And she called me to interview you me for a magazine. She was a freelance writer, and she was interviewing me for “Black Enterprise” to talk about some of this ecommerce stuff. And after the 20-minute interview, we sat in Starbucks, we talked for three hours about metaphysics and intuition and spirituality. Then, we became like best friends.
Jamila: And then we would go to places, Starbucks and Outback and other restaurants, and Jaspers, which also was BET Downstage at one point, and we would be playing intuitive games and trying to channel and sometimes messing with cards and stuff. And people would be looking at like, "What are they doing?" And what I did not understand at the time, because had Spirit said, "We are training you to become a professional psychic," I would've run screaming from the room. But essentially what that was, was intuitive drills and those quote fun games in Starbucks took me to a place where I could be intuitive on demand.
Jamila: And it also taught me that it's a skill, like anything else, it's a muscle, it can be taught, and it can be strengthened, and everybody has it. And you can always get better from where you are. And if you practice, you strengthen that muscle, and it's something that's accessible to everyone. And everyone may not end up being a professional psychic and doing readings for other people, but everyone, every person has the gift of intuition that they can strengthen. And that is Spirit's way, God's way, of sharing with you, information and insights and guidance to help you live your best life. And it isn't always about having a whole vision and being clairvoyant and seeing people sitting around at Easter table, but it's about pick up the phone and call this person, or take a different route to work today, or go to this event, or leave that person alone. Okay.
Jamila: We've all had that, leave this person alone. And it wasn't even based on something you observed or saw, but it was a feeling, but you ignored it, and you know what happened. We've all done it. So we all have intuition. We all have this inner compass, this spiritual compass. And part of I feel my purpose in life is to help people tap into their own intuition, their own guidance, and more importantly, learn how to trust it. We all recognize it, but sometimes we are not sure of it until after the fact, hindsight is 20/20 and it's like, "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have done that, or I knew I should have done that." And then you missed an opportunity, because you didn't follow that intuition.
Jamila: And so I feel when you are plugged in, and it isn't even like, "Oh, let me be intuitive now." But just when you're really plugged in, it's just a flow that you have of being able to navigate through life, even if you don't have the entire blueprint about what's going to happen in your life. You're like, "Okay, I feel very strong from the inside that this is my next move." And then you have to trust it and act on it. That's where people mostly get stuck is on the trusting and acting on it part.
Kenrya: Right. So you were just detailing some of the ways, the milestones of things that happened along the way as your intuition developed. I remember once you did, I think it was a post, I think it was a series of posts, about the different ways that intuition shows up. Can we talk about that?
Kenrya: That was really, oh, it was a workshop or something that you did.
Jamila: It was a workshop.
Kenrya: It made me understand. You've always told me I was intuitive, but it helped me to understand some of the ways that I was picking up on things without realizing it. Can you talk about the ways that intuition shows up?
Jamila: Sure. So there are so many ways that people can be intuitive. There's so many different types of intuitive intelligence and being able to see things or clairvoyance, which literally means clear seeing, is just one of them. People may hear things. They may hear voices or hear words or sounds or music. People may feel things in their body, such as I get a tingle in my arm, or the hair on the back of my neck stands up, or I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, or my left eyebrow will start throbbing. That can show up differently for different people. Or they may just know things. Suddenly, they just know. They didn't know before, now, they just know. There's an actual word for that called claircognizance.
Kenrya: That I have. I just know shit, you know what I mean.
Jamila: I don't know how I know, I just know, right? Exactly, claircognizance. And some people even have intuitive sense of smell and intuitive taste, where they can smell and taste things that don't physically exist. I didn't know that was a thing either. And I could not understand at one point why I kept smelling roses. I thought I had like hugged an old lady and had rose perfume on me. But I realized, I had not left the house that day. My clothes are clean. I was working at home in my basement, in my basement office. This was back when I was doing marketing, and I could not understand. Later, I began to understand over time, as they were revealing themselves to me, that both my great-grandmother was coming through, and that was her way of being around.
Jamila: And also I had a spirit guide that always worked with roses. She worked with rose oils and rose petals and rose essence. And she actually later helped me start a business making bath and body products and using aromatherapy and flower essences and all this other stuff. And that was like a co-creation between me and a spirit guide. But I didn't know that the way that they were beginning to introduce themselves to me, that I could feel their presence around me. I could literally smell them.
Kenrya: I get that, too. That's people who've gone on and how I know they visited.
Jamila: I did not know that was a thing. You experience that with some people because you smell someone's perfume. Yeah. They're perfume or their body scent or cigar smoke. Or some people could say like, "I don't know what this means, but I'm smelling salt water." "Well, yeah, lady, I just moved to Barbados, so I live by the beach."
Jamila: So people don't realize how intuitive they are, if they think that intuition just means having visions. And once you begin to explain that there are all of these different kinds of intuitive intelligences, they realize, "Oh, I am more intuitive. And I've been getting information and input all this time, but didn't recognize it. And now that I know that there are these different ways, I'm much more aware of when my intuition is really kicking in for me." And it may not have anything to do with being clairvoyant. All of the psychics and most movies and television are all clairvoyant. They see things, or they are a medium, and they talk to dead people. That's another whole other category of things.
Jamila: But so many of us are walking around as empaths, people who are highly sensitive to energy, to other people's vibes. You know, they may not know the word empath, but they understand vibes. This person got a funky vibe or how they feel drained after being around certain people, very easily drained. People, there are so many empaths in our community who don't know that they're empaths. And because they don't know that, they don't know how to use that to help themselves and others. They also don't know how to protect themselves from being overwhelmed by other people's energy. And there is, in my view, an epidemic of anxiety, depression among empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, because they don't know that they are picking up on everybody else's shit, and walking around with it.
Jamila: So just like we have daily physical hygiene practices, we wash our ass every day, we brush our teeth every day. We wash our bodies, we wash our hair at certain intervals because we're not even saying I'm going to wash my hair to remove the dust from this day. It's just a general practice. We need energy hygiene practices, because we are constantly picking up energy debris from other people. Most people are wondering, questions that I get about how do I keep negative spirits and demons off me? Like you have to be about demon. You need to be worried about the everyday people that you are interacting with in your home, in your office, in your community, on the subway, just like you can pass someone's energy. You can feel someone's energy, and not realize it, just because you passed them on the street, if you're very sensitive. And you don't say, "Oh, now I am feeling that man in the blue coat's energy." You say, "Oh, dang, suddenly, I'm so tired. Suddenly I feel so irritated." It does not register that this belongs to this other person.
Jamila: Because the true definition of empath is you feel it as if it is your own. We also have all of these children who are empaths who don't realize that they are picking up other people, feelings and vibes, and their parents don't realize it either. And they're so sensitive and they don't know how to manage it. It's overwhelming. It can manifest as depression. It can manifest as being distracted. It can manifest as being anxiety. You think that kids can't feel the worldwide fear around the pandemic of the last two years. They don't have to be watching the news to feel everyone's fear, to feel the fear of racism, the feel of fear of all the different things that are going on. And so I bring this up, because when you know that you're carrying all this shit, you can then take steps to release it and to cleanse yourself of it.
Jamila: If you're walking through a construction zone on the street, you're going to have a hard hat, and you're going to get all this dust and debris that's falling, and some of it's going to get on you. And at the end, you need to wash all that stuff off. Every day, intuitives and sensitives and empathic people are walking through a construction zone of dust and debris, and they don't know to clean it off. And what do you think the cumulative effect of that is, not to mention dealing with your own shit. We got our own shit.
Jamila: There's also sexual energy debris. Be mindful about who you not just swapped body fluids with, but that is such an intimate energy exchange. And I'm all for grown people doing what grown people want to do when it is consensual, but you need to be mindful of your energy hygiene. And what are you walking around with after you have engaged in a very intimate act, which doesn't always have to be intercourse, but it definitely intercourse is one of the most intimate acts that there is, what are you doing to cleanse your energy after you've connected with someone, especially if this is someone who is not your partner?
Kenrya: What can you do?
Jamila: But is just for whatever. In these situations and in all situations, good energy hygiene, it's simple. If this is one of those things where a little bit on a consistent basis does a lot. It's not like a big splash thing, "Oh my God, I have to go somewhere special, pay somebody thousands of dollars for energy cleaning." It is one of the easiest things that people can do is use salt. Salt water bath, salt water ocean, salt water scrub in the shower. I keep a Himalaya bar of salts in my shower. And just like I wash my body with cleansers and soap. I also wet my hands on the bar. And then pass that over my body, pretty much daily because of the work that I do. Some people like smudge or sage. Some people have forms of holy water, Florida water. There's no wrong thing. It's what works for you. Some people use specific Bible verses and prayers of protection and cleansing.
Jamila: So this isn't so much about, I have to find the right tool. This is about what can I incorporate into my daily or regular practices, if not daily then weekly to release other people's energy off of me. Because first of all, I've got my hands full dealing with my own shit. I don't need to be dealing with everybody else's shit that I done passed on the street. Right? Or kissed or whatever.
Jamila: And so I'm a big fan of salt, because it's so accessible. It's so affordable, and it's so easy. You don't have to think real hard to do it. An Epsom salt bath will do a whole lot. If you want to add herbs and aromatherapy, I mean, go right ahead. But here's how, you know if it works, again, there's no right or wrong way. You know it works, because you'll feel differently afterwards. You will feel lighter afterwards. Not just, oh, I feel clean, and my skin feels soft, but you're actually going to feel lighter. That's how you know it's working. There're two parts of that. There's the hygiene part, which is cleaning up stuff at the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of whatever, at the end of an interaction.
Jamila: But then there's the prevention part, and prevention is about grounding, grounding yourself so that things are less likely to stick on you in the first place. Grounding can be as simple as having a breathing practice, or a journaling practice, or an exercise practice, or go outside and nature practice, or a meditation or yoga practice. But it's something that gets you grounded and centered and brings you back into your body and into your breath. And even one minute a day in the morning goes such a long way to keep other people's shit off of you, so that you don't have to do as much cleaning. If you do the grounding, you can do less cleaning. But if you're spending all your time, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, you probably need to be more grounded to start with. And maybe you need to reevaluate some of your life choices about who is around you and what environments you are in. Boundaries. Boundaries go into environments and people. We have choices about who and where we surround ourselves.
Kenrya: We asked you to come on the show, because the story that we read last week is called “A Private Affair.” And the protagonist, whose name is Riley, is a woman who's been through some past relationships that have shaken her ability to trust, not just other people, but more importantly, herself. And you talked a little bit earlier about how a lot of times we have trouble trusting ourselves, trusting our intuition, trusting our gut. What are some things that you've seen that stand in the way of some Black women following our intuition?
Jamila: Mm. People pleasing, wanting to do things that would make someone else approve of us or to do them in a way that is acceptable to other people. That stands in the way of so many people and their intuition, Black women, especially, but all people. That is so high up there, because what would so and so think, or what would they think, or what would it look like if I did this, even though my intuition is saying quit that job or change your career, I'm a lawyer, but I really want to be a sex educator. What would they think?
Jamila: That is a dream killer, trying to please other people, trying to be acceptable to other people. That will get you nowhere fast. And it is in direct conflict with your intuition. Another really big one is gas lighting. So gas lighting, and this is when another person tells you that your experience is not real. And this happens a lot in dating and relationships where there's an unhealthy dynamic, and someone is controlling, or manipulative, or narcissistic, or abusive. They will tell you that something that you did not experience didn't happen. Not just that they can't relate, they will make you think you're crazy, and that it is all in your head. And what happens over time is, and it's intentional on their part, is if you don't trust yourself, you don't know up from down. You can't prove that they're not respecting you, because, again, that's in your head.
Jamila: Oh, you're being too emotional, being so sensitive, that never happened. In my very early dating life, I witnessed something with my own two eyes and had someone tell me that it never happened, and that they were so insistent about it and controlling about it, that I started to believe, to wonder did I actually see it. And then, over time, it doesn't just happen once. But it's over time, it begins to erode your sense of trust in yourself. And so not only do you not even trust your intuition, which is telling you to get the hell out of this relationship, but you don't even trust anything. You don't trust, can you manage your money properly? Because this person has told you that you spend too much or this, that, and the other. They'll tell you that this didn't happen, that they weren't at this place when you drove by and saw their car there, didn't happen.
Jamila: And now you begin to question what is real, and I talk to so many women. I've experienced that, so then later on when I began to have that feeling again, that very specific kind of anxious, feeling that clingy, anxiousness feeling, because I'm not a naturally clingy person. When I felt that, I knew that whoever I was dealing with was operating out of integrity in a very big way. And I did not need to know the specifics. That alone was enough. When you have intuition, you don't need proof. When you have proof, you don't need intuition. My intuition was enough to know that I don't need to be dealing with this person. And matter of fact, I'm out. Peace. It was great knowing you, but I need to move in another direction. Oh, but why? Well, I just have a feeling that you're not being straight with me, and you're not operating in integrity. Oh, but I'm not doing anything. You know what, okay. I don't even need to prove to them or argue with them about what they're doing.
Jamila: All right.
Kenrya: Love that.
Jamila: I'm gone.
Erica: So what are some things we can do to reconnect with our intuition, particularly in regard to relationships?
Jamila: The first is having a relationship with yourself. And before you introduce any other person into yourself, but having that relationship with yourself. So you know what is real for you, and being able to understand and hear your own voice, so that when somebody else is in your ear, be a lover of somebody else, saying this, that and the other, you can distinguish between what feels right to you and what doesn't, which has nothing to do with logic and fact. There's a role for logic, but what we're talking about is this doesn't feel right. Something doesn't feel right or the opposite issue.
Jamila: This isn't just about avoiding pain and manipulation and someone who is controlling. It's also about moving towards the right people, the people who are aligned and compatible and good for you. This feels right, which is different than this feels good physically, although that can be part of it. This is, this feels right. This feels easy. This feels smooth. This feels aligned. And without having to convince ourselves, because that's what we do when we like somebody, is we start to convince ourselves that they're the right person, as opposed to observing their behavior over time.
Jamila: Trusting that, even with intuition guiding you towards or away from someone, the power of observation and time are so important. Especially when you're learning to trust your intuition, you can have an intuitive feeling and then just lay back and observe, sit back and observe, what are they doing? Not what are they saying, what are they doing? One of the things that trips us up so much, and especially if you are an empath. The kiss of death are these words, but we feel so connected. If you find yourself saying that, full stop. Because usually when you're saying that, you're saying that in response to justifying some other behavior that they're doing, that did not feel good. And you're trying to justify why you should put up with that, because you feel so connected, and you've convinced yourself that this might be your soul mate or whatever, whatever, whatever. When you hear those words come out of your mouth or in your head, full stop.
Jamila: Take a step back and reevaluate your situation, because you're usually trying to prove something to yourself. And if you got to prove something to yourself, it ain't it. Or it's it, but you're coming from a place of woundedness, and you won't be able to participate in a healthy way in that situation. But usually, because that ain't it. But we feel so connected. Okay. So he has a wife already, and you're telling me that you feel so connected. Okay, well that's great. He could be your soulmate. He could be your future husband, but not while he already has got a wife. So if he cares about you, he'll handle his business, leave his relationship with integrity, since he says, "It's almost over anyway." And you can wait. And I don't mean by waiting, sit on the sidelines.
Jamila: But before you connect yourself to this person that you feel so connected with, who is in a monogamous relationship, but wanting to deal with you, let him handle that, and how he comes to you, says everything about how he's going to treat you. I mean, sometimes marriages end, and sometimes the world is not as neatly wrapped up in a bow. It's a timing of things. And I'm not saying everybody go out and find themselves a married man. But I'm saying that sometimes you meet your person before they've wrapped up their other relationship, but how they handle that transition, speaks volumes to their integrity, and speaks volumes to whether they've done the work on themselves to be fully present as a partner to you. Right? So I don't even know how we got on that part about the... Oh, but we feel so connected. Okay.
Jamila: So when I hear somebody say that and as an empath, this is so important. It took me again. I was in my forties when I had the aha moment, that all my life I've been dating as an empath and that there are some specific things that come with that, that other people don't experience. For example, as an empath, and I don't even mean as a professional psychic, but just as an empath, sensitive to vibes, you can often feel that the other person is genuinely attracted to you. You can feel that they want to be something to you, that they want to be your superhero, that they want to offer you something, a relationship or whatever.
Jamila: You can feel that, that's what they want. You can feel the energy of that. However, you are not to act on that. That's to acknowledge, I feel this, I feel his attraction for me. Okay. But what is he doing? What's he doing? Not, what's he saying? Because he might be articulating the attraction, "Girl, I want to do this for you. And I've been thinking about having a woman in my life, just like you." And he may be saying these things, but what is he doing? What is he showing you consistently over time? There is no substitute for time. Right? Because it feels so good, and then these same folks will be the first to say we feel so connected.
Kenrya: God, and then you fill in the blank. Lord, have mercy. Oh, I've been there.
Jamila: Feelings are great. Vibes are great. Journal it down, write down what you observed and get it out, but never substitute that for observing the behavior, and how they are moving towards you with actions on a consistent basis. Because anybody could be your hero for a week. Anybody could be the man for a week, a month. Maybe even three. Someone once told me it takes 90 days before someone shows their true color, and you really get to see the person and not the quote representative of the person. And maybe there's some truth to that. I mean, I don't know that there's a hard time frame, but when I get calls from clients who want to know, if this person is their soul mate and it's like, y'all have known each other for two days, "Is this my guy? Is he the one?" It's been two days. Don't spend your money asking that. Don't spend your money to ask me that.
Kenrya: Or are they ready to do the work to get there.
Jamila: And that's fine. That's fine.
Erica: So in the book that we read, the protagonist Riley, she used masturbation as a form of meditation to tap into her confident self. How can getting in touch with our sensual selves help us get in touch with other parts of ourself?
Jamila: Ooh, that's such a juicy question. That is such a juicy question. I think, well, first of all, self care and pleasure of any kind is a good thing. Secondly, sexual energy is really powerful. And when people are experiencing stagnation in their lives as a whole or in any area of their lives, the solution to stagnation is flow, to get the energy moving, and the energy is stuck. Whether it's money, because all money is energy. If money is stuck, if your money is not flowing like you want, you have to get your energy unstuck. You don't have a money problem. You have an energy problem. So if orgasm and self pleasuring is the way to get the flow, it literally increases your blood circulation, and it moves energy. If that's part of the way that you care for yourself, if that's how you stay in touch with yourself, that's how you love on yourself. If that's also how you achieve flow in one area of your life, that transfers into other areas of your life. It can.
Jamila: So if you're stuck in one area of your life, get unstuck. Sometimes it's through creativity and play. Sometimes it's through sexual energy. Sexual energy is a really powerful thing, because at its core, sexual energy is the energy of creation. It is what created this world. It is what keeps the population going in this world is sexual energy, whether it is used for procreation or used for intimacy, bonding, or whether it's used for self pleasure, that energy when released allows other things to move through. It literally helps with anxiety and depression. So I'm all for it. I think that people need to be encouraged, and give themselves permission to explore their sexuality with themselves and with the partner, when they feel safe. Your sexual energy is there for you to harness and to use how you want to, and whether that's partner sex or solo sex. It's a gift. And if you want to see somebody who is uptight and often stagnant in different areas of their lives, they're probably not having enough orgasms in their life.
Erica: Yeah. So just to connect this piece with what we talked about earlier, how is intuition and sexual energy connected?
Jamila: Yeah. That goes back to that whole thing about sexual energy being creation, and when you are physically more in your body versus just kind of floating out in the breeze and ungrounding, sometimes sexual energy can make you more grounded, because it brings you back into your body. It makes you very aware of your body sensation. Sometimes people who are practicing mindfulness do exercises where they're focusing on their five senses. What do I see in this moment? What do I hear in this moment? What do I feel in this moment? What do I smell? And sexual energy heightens your physical senses. And so being in touch with yourself and being in your body can actually heighten your intuition, because it can bring a level of groundedness to you. And also again, like we talked about before, it can open up some flow, and intuitive energy is also about flow.
Jamila: Intuitive intuition and intuitive energy is less about learning how to become intuitive and more about how to remove the blocks that we have put up that separate us from our own intuition. We are naturally intuitive by default. Children are born intuitive. We get socialized out of our intuition. We're either told that it's witchcraft or as children we're told, "It's not polite to say that."
Jamila: So it's not uncommon for an intuitive child to walk into a room, be like, "I don't like that person. They hit people, or she's sleeping with him." And then what happens? The child is punished for saying the wrong thing, even though it was true. Instead of them being pulled aside and say, "Hey, your intuition is really on point. How did you know that?" And then letting the child explain how they felt that, and then having a conversation with the child about when it's appropriate to talk about things, instead of shutting that child down completely. So now the child not only has the message that is not appropriate to speak it's that I did something wrong by knowing this, and it shuts their intuition down.
Jamila: And so when they're 30 and can't figure out how to navigate a transition in their life and can't get in touch with their intuition. Some of that can be traced back to them being shut down as a child, or being told that only God knows. That's not for you to know, or that what you're doing is witchcraft, or that you must be getting that information from negative or demonic spirits. When every culture, every religion across the globe has some form of seer, knower, prophet, clairvoyant, but it's not for everybody. So they're allowed to do it, but you're not allowed to do it. And so it can create a barrier.
Jamila: And then having experiences over your lifetime, when you thought you were trusting your intuition, if something blew up in your face, and then you blame the intuition. Intuition isn't about making you joyful all the time. It's about getting you to the experiences that you need to have. And the blow up might have been a seminal moment in your life that changed your trajectory for your greater good, even though it was uncomfortable in that moment. But then they say, "Well, when I trusted my intuition, it didn't work." Or what you were trusting wasn't your intuition. It was your ego voice, or your fear voice masquerading as intuition.
Jamila: And a lot of times people have difficulty differentiating between when I'm hearing the chatter in my head, what part is intuition, and what part is just my brain going all over the place? And one of the ways that you can navigate that is to get into your body, get out of your brain, because your brain is trying to convince you of all kinds of stuff, which may or may not be true. But your body never lies. Your body feeling light or feeling heavy, that's your intuition. When I think about going to this job, I feel heavy. Well, that's your intuition. When I think about this person or this situation, I feel light. I feel happy. I feel lit up. I feel physically lighter. That's your intuition saying, go in that direction. You know, again, you may not get a whole vision of things that are about to transpire, but you start paying attention to how your body responds to different people, different situations.
Jamila: So if you're considering working with someone who's a psychic or a prophetess or a spiritualist, or a mystic, or whatever, because its different words in terms used for people who do this kind of work, first, if you're concerned about that, pray about it. Ask for guidance. Is it time for me to talk with someone like this, and is this person the right person for me? And is this the right time? Start with who you know and trust, and if that's God and Jesus or your deceased grandmother or your angels, talk with them first and ask if this is the right person. Don't do something that you're not really comfortable with, or work with someone you're not comfortable with. That's the first thing.
Jamila: What I also want Black people to know is stop shaming people for tapping into their own guidance and working with Spirit in a way that may look different to you. It's okay to say I've never seen that before. I don't know what it is. I'm unfamiliar with it, but stop declaring everything as the devil's work that you don't understand. There's a lot of really beautiful things and beautiful people, helping people, who are being ostracized, judged, outcast because of their gifts, but their gifts were God given. And they're supposed to be out here helping people. Also, I wish that more Black people knew that you don't have to see a psychic to tune into your own intuition. You don't have to see a medium to communicate with your own ancestors and deceased loved ones and angels. That your intention to do so is 90% of the work.
Jamila: I intend, I wish, I desire to have a deeper connection with my ancestors, with my angels. Start there. They will find you. You also can set some boundaries about how that is. You are not at their beck and call. I had to learn to set boundaries with people's ancestors that my office hours are from nine to five. That means don't be waking me up telling me about Shaniqua's boyfriend. I don't care at three o'clock in the morning. I'm trying to sleep. You might not have a body, but I do. And I need my rest. Now initially I didn't know I could do that. I was scared of them. Not scared of them, but scared that they had authority over me. I didn't understand, at that point, that we were in partnership, and that we each brought something to the table. And as such, I could set boundaries about how I worked.
Jamila: Even if you're not a professional psychic, if you have a presence in your home, it's probably a guardian spirit watching over your home, your house, your land, your family, your property, but it's uncomfortable. Tell them, I'm glad you're here to protect me, but I don't want to know about it. I don't want to see you. You don't want to hear you. I don't want you moving my stuff around on the dresser. It makes me uncomfortable, and I appreciate you, but this is my boundary.
Kenrya: Mm. Right. Word.
Jamila: You can create boundaries. These are relationships just like anything and everything else. It's a relationship. And a relationship involves give and take and some balance. That's what I wish people knew. I also wish that people knew and Black people knew is that we are spiritual people, regardless of whether you have one particular faith or the other, we are a spiritual people. And our source of energy is Spirit. Don't get it twisted and get confused about what your Source is. You might have a job, but that's not your Source. You might have a lover, but that's not your Source, either. Get real clear about what your Source is and understand that God or Source or Spirit or the Universe, whatever words you want to use, is working through different people, different situations and different vehicles to bring you what is needed.
Jamila: That also means that if that's not your Source, you can release it. Or if it leaves you, you're still good, because that was never your Source. And when you understand, that's not your Source, it takes some of the fear away of its leaving you, be it, the job, the person, the possessions, the status, the whatever, it takes some of that away.
Jamila: And it allows you to walk more empowered through this world.
Kenrya: What's your superpower?
Jamila: I mean intuition for number one. My superpower. Yeah. Aside from intuition, which is like the obvious thing, or maybe that is the superpower. That's a good question. What is my superpower? Okay. My superpower is intuition, but that word is kind of vague, but my superpower is the ability to see truth.
Jamila: And it isn't just truth about facts, but it's the truth of who someone is, and what they are capable of, and what they were put on this earth to do. When I sit down with a client or sometimes it's not even a client, because it can happen spontaneously. When I can see who they were made to be and share that with them, it is such a powerful moment for them, but also for me. Sometimes I'll be in a reading with a client and sometimes my client laughs, because I'll be just as surprised as they are by the stuff that is revealed, and just as impressed as they are by who they were revealed when the revelation comes of who they were made to be, or what they were put on this earth to do, or what they're going to accomplish in their lifetime. When that comes through, I be like, "Woo." I'm just as impressed, just as wowed, just as floored, just as moved. My client may be in there crying, sometimes I'll be in there crying with them.
Jamila: I mean, people are surprised by the fact also that these sessions are not like these holier than thou moments. They're real. And I'm me and you're going to get me, because I'm the interpreter of these messages, and they are funny, and they are real, and there's going to be cussing.
Jamila: And the ancestors will be talking about sex a lot. People are surprised. I'm still surprised by how often that comes up, that the ancestors want us having good, healthy, loving, fun sex. It's amazing when people come, and they describe what they want in a soulmate, and they don't ever mention sex. And the ancestors be like, but let me tell you who's coming, and what they're bringing, and what their special superpower is when it comes to bedroom activities. And then they'll be like, "Oh my God, how do they know that's what I want." They know. How do you think they got to be your ancestors if they didn't procreate. They know something. They also understand the dynamics of joy and of ecstasy, and they want more of us to experience that. Whether it's through sexual energy or not, but they want us to experience the full vitality of life, which includes sexual energy, and however that is expressed.
Kenrya: Right. What are you reading right now?
Jamila: Ooh, I've got a stack of books. I just finally finished “The Water Dancer” by Ta-Nehesi Coates, fiction. I'm reading a bunch of nonfiction books on business, including Rachel Rogers, “We Should All Be Millionaires.” She's a Black woman talking about women entrepreneurs, and scaling up your business. Let's see, what else am I reading? I'm reading a bunch of articles and online classes and stuff right now. And I'm writing off and on, my own book.
Jamila: Is coming one day. So it's coming in fits and spurts, both my story and lessons and intuition. My story has so many layers that when this book comes out, and there's some, oh my God moments about how my intuition really came to the forefront. You asked me what I was reading. It's time for me to reread one of my all-time favorites, which I reread periodically, because it changed my life is “Jambalaya” by Louisa Teish. It like three books in one. It's one part autobiography, one part history of spiritual New Orleans, including Marie Laveau, and one part instruction on rituals and charms and calling forth your own superpowers and spiritual care.
Erica: I actually have it. Oh. So let me know when you start so we can read along together.
Jamila: Yes. It's one of my all-time, all-time favorites and it's time for me to reread it.
Kenrya: I want to read it with y'all.
Erica: No, it's in and out, down. I'm looking.
Jamila: Oh, is our group thread coming back? Remember when we had the “Game of Thrones” group threads.
Kenrya: Yeah. So now we can just move on over to this.
Jamila: And now we can do it on books. Yes.
Erica: I don't see where it is, but I definitely have it.
Jamila: It's a purple book.
Erica: Yeah. And I remember... What you say?
Kenrya: She says it's purple.
Jamila: It's a purple book.
Erica: So you see stuff. Oh color. I see it there. Yep. I see it. I see it right there. And the first couple of pages, I was like, "Oh, this book is amazing." Just first couple of pages.
Erica: It grabs you. And I've just been a mess. But let me know when you start reading it and I will-
Jamila: I will. I had a chance to meet her, Louisa Teish, in New Orleans. She doesn't live there anymore. She lives in the San Francisco Bay area, I think in Oakland. But she comes back to her hometown periodically. And when I lived in New Orleans, she came and did a book signing for her other books at a local Black bookstore. And I got a chance to meet her, and I totally geeked out, but she was just amazing and warm, and she showed us how to make a good drink.
Jamila: She's a treasure. She's a treasure.
Erica: Okay. Well what's turning you on today?
Jamila: What turns me on? Life turns me on. The fullness of it being in Barbados is such a life-changing experience for me, to live in this level of joy and abundance, because there is so much beauty here. It's physical eye therapy to just look around and look at all of these flowers and the lushness and the richness and the green. And then the ocean that I get to drive by every day or get in whenever I feel like it, just to have that level of abundance around, I am lit up by relationships. I just spent two weeks with my mom. She came here to visit in Barbados, and we had such an amazing time. And I'm so excited that I'm going home for Christmas, for the holiday season and spend time with my family.
Jamila: I spent last Christmas in Barbados, which was lovely, but very, very weird, because it was 85, 90 degrees and it just wasn't the same.
Jamila: And I said, "Okay." So I've learned that I need to go home for Christmas. What am I lit up by? What turns me on? I am turned on by smart people. I am turned on by people who are living out their dreams, and living in full alignment with who they are. There's a certain energy to that. Even if they don't have all things figured out, you know when somebody is walking in their purpose, because they just give off a certain vibe. And I find that that is a turn on for me, for it lights up my energy. I am turned on by foot rubs.
Jamila: A good foot massage.
Kenrya: They make me giggle or kick. No, I love good massage.
Jamila: You don't? No, great foot massage?
Erica: Yeah. Legitimately, if I could find a submissive just for foot massages, I totally will. So if someone's out there-
Jamila: You know somebody. There's something for everyone.
Erica: Out there, holler at a player. Okay. So-
Jamila: You just going to manifest that.
Erica: It's happening. Okay. So Jamila-
Jamila: It's happened. It's already done.
Erica: We would like to ask-
Erica: Goofy questions. So here's yours. Well, it's not a question. It's a request. Give us a 30- to 60-second Ted Talk about something super ordinary.
Jamila: A 30- to 60-second Ted Talk about something super ordinary?
Erica: I'm going to set a timer too.
Jamila: Okay. Can I have 30 seconds to think about what it is going to be before I start talking?
Kenrya: You can have 15.
Jamila: Okay. Okay. Something super ordinary. What's considered ordinary?
Erica: Folding clothes. Picking out a good pair of shoes.
Jamila: Oh, okay.
Erica: Doing a great ponytail.
Jamila: Okay. Okay.
Erica: All right. Here we go. Sixty seconds on the clock. Go.
Jamila: I mean, for real, for real, the best way to clean the grout in your bathroom tile is with a toothbrush and a paste that's made with Clorox bleach and baking soda. And then you just get it in there with your toothbrush in all of the crevices and the caulk. If you have dark spots around the caulk of your bathtub, put that paste on there, cover it with some plastic wrap. If it's really deep stains, let that sit for a while, a couple of hours if the stains are bad. And then you get in there with an old toothbrush and you scrub it, scrub it, scrub it, scrub it, and it will look like new. You'll be amazed at the grout and the caulk and the tile in your bathroom. It's going to look like totally brand new. It'll be sparkling.
Kenrya: Yes. With 11 seconds to spare. I love it.
Erica: You know anything about cleaning gets me excited. So I'm here for it. Yes.
Jamila: What's funny is I'm not even a cleaner like that, but there are certain things I'm particular about.
Kenrya: And grout is one of them?
Jamila: In real time. I haven't had to do that, because being in Barbados, I have a housekeeper, and that is one of the best life decisions I have ever made. She comes every week, and it frees me up to not even think about cleaning my house. Not just that, but I stay clean, because I know she's coming on Friday. So I get organized so that she can clean. So my house stays more organized, but it frees up my energy to do other things.
Jamila: And it's one of the best, and it's very affordable here. Like services here are really affordable for hair, beauty, cleaning, landscaping, all that stuff is super cheep.
Kenrya: Right. That's awesome.
Jamila: I don't do my own hair anymore. I was telling Kenrya, I get my lashes done. I didn't used to get my lashes done.
Kenrya: You said something, $25?
Jamila: $25 refills.
Erica: Damn, I want my lashes done.
Jamila: It was probably $50 to $75 for the first set. And then $25 refill.
Kenrya: Girl. Yeah.
Erica: Mm. Yeah.
Erica: You have figured it out.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). That's pretty dope. And also, you are trying to help our listeners figure some stuff out. You're going to be offering a discount. All y'all got to do.
Kenrya: If y'all go to Inspired Jamila, that's I-N-S-P-I-R-E-D-J-A-M-I-L-A.com and enter the code, THETURNON, all smushed together, you'll get 10% off of a private, intuitive consultation either by phone or video.
Jamila: Let me help you get unstuck. Get you clear about your purpose. Get you clear about the gifts that you were born with, that you may have had over multiple lifetimes, and how to unblock these obstacles that are preventing you from living your best life. You can have joy, peace, abundance, and all of that. That is your birthright. And sometimes you need a little bit of insight to help you have that breakthrough.
Jamila: So come holler at your girl, 10% off. And also next spring, spring 2022, I am hosting a retreat in Barbados.
Kenrya: Are you?
Jamila: And if you want to learn more about that, come to my website and holler at me, and I'll send the information.
Kenrya: Okay. Okay. That's InspiredJamila.com. If you want to follow her on IG, you can go to Inspire dot Jamila. On Facebook, you are Inspire Jamila, right? All that's right?
Jamila: That's right. Yes.
Kenrya: Awesome. Yo, thank you for coming on.
Erica: Thank you.
Jamila: Thank you so much for having me. We've been waiting to do this for so long. It was all that we had anticipated. I love you two so much.
Erica: We love you so much.
Jamila: So grateful.
Erica: Just to say, for real y'all, her helping you get through some stuck points in life, like whew, between Jamila and therapy, honey, you've helped make me who I am today. And it was simply by helping me see things that, like you said, just kind of help that energy flow. I remember our first session, I was super afraid, because I'm like, "She's going to tell me something scary," and it was beautiful.
Jamila: That's what a lot of people say.
Erica: It was beautiful.
Kenrya: Oh, yeah. You were worried about that.
Erica: Yeah. I was like, "She's going to tell me something that's scary."
Jamila: That's common. People are afraid of that.
Kenrya: See, I wasn't because we were already close. So I remember just being like, "She won't tell me if it's something bad, because we're friends." Right?
Jamila: You're right.
Kenrya: Then you told me to stay away from a nigga, and I didn't listen.
Erica: Also, it was very much up to you to do. That's right. But no, the work you do, particularly the work you've done in my life, has been life changing. So, for real y'all, thank you.
Jamila: Thank you, that means a lot to me.
Kenrya: She's just a really fancy, fantastic friend.
Erica: I'm thinking, oh God, I can. Yeah. Like.
Jamila: You guys love on me.
Erica: I can tell stories about how Jamila has come in and just showing up at the house, "Look, I'm helping you. Here we go." So yeah.
Kenrya: It's true. I still have some of your Tupperware that-
Erica: I do, but also, and then you left, I still need that, that dressing recipe. It was, oh,-
Jamila: The avocado lime cilantro dressing. I'll hit you up with that. And that Tupperware, that was that disposable stuff that I bought just to take over to that, to your house. So just keep it. Okay.
Kenrya: It's literally in the bin by the door.
Jamila: It wasn't that good quality Tupperware that I need to repossess.
Kenrya: I like to give people back their stuff, and it's been there.
Jamila: I understand. I understand. But where am I going to put it? In my suitcase and bring it back to Barbados? Me going to Barbados means you can keep the Tupperware. Consider it a gift. And that avocado lime cilantro dressing, I'm actually making that tonight. It is so yummy.
Kenrya: She used to make it and drop it off in mason jars.
Jamila: Oh yeah. I remember.
Erica: No, we was putting that shit on everything down here. Do we need to make that recipe available to the listeners?
Kenrya: Yeah, we can put it on the show notes.
Jamila: Because you know, people are going to be mad. They're going to be like, "I can't taste it. Why they talk about that? I can't taste it."
Kenrya: Yes. Okay.
Jamila: That salad dressing is light, it really is. Yeah. Okay. That was the first homemade salad dressing that I ever made, and it changed the game for me. It is so good. Yeah.
Kenrya: So we'll share it once you share with us. Thanks. So that is it for this week's episode of The Turn On. Thank y'all for listening. We'll see y'all next week. Bye.
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now in your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast, so you'll never miss an episode.
Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. And you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.
Kenrya: And don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.
Erica: And you can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.
Kenrya: Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. Holla.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.