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Apple Podcasts | Google Play | iHeart Radio | Radio Public | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | YouTube CONNECT WITH THE TURN ON Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Patreon SHOW NOTES In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to guest Tracy about finding love within your friend group, staying grounded on the hard days and the importance of sowing your royal oats. Resources:
The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information. TRANSCRIPT Erica: So Kenrya, guess what? Kenrya: What? Erica: We have our first patron on Patreon! Kenrya: Aw shit! Erica: Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. And not only is this just the first patron, this is the first patron at the highest level. Kenrya: What's that level? That's the... oh, We Go Together. Erica: We Go Together. Kenrya: Yes. Erica: I ain't getting rid of you, you ain't getting rid of me level. Kenrya: I love it. Erica: So shout out to our good friend of the show, always supportive, Stephanie. Kenrya: Hey, thank you so much. Erica: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This is kind of the equivalent of yo mama always supporting you. You know how they be like, "She sold four copies of her album." Kenrya: Yes. Erica: Her mama, her brother, her sister, and herself. Kenrya: Yes. Erica: But Stephanie, thank you for being amazing and supporting the show, as always. Kenrya: Yes. Erica: So... Kenrya: Hopefully the first of many. Erica: The first of many. Kenrya: Y'all follow Stephanie's lead and head over to Patreon and support The Turn On. Erica: Yes. If you want to hear your name on this show, please support us at the $15 a month level. Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Erica: And with that, let's get started with the show. ? Kenrya: Come here. Get off. Kenrya: Today, we're talking to Tracy, pronouns, she and her. Tracy is a 39-year-old cisgender heterosexual woman from the Midwest. Yes, ma'am. Tracy: Midwest. Kenrya: She's a mother and program manager and she's here to talk about what happens when friends with benefits turns into forever ever. Kenrya: Tracy is a pseudonym, so don't be trying to find her. Tracy: Don't be looking for me. Kenrya: Tracy, thanks so much for coming. Tracy: Thank you for having me. Erica: So last week we read an excerpt from the novella “Benefriends,” which features a couple that started out as friends, and then they morphed into lovers. What's your current relationship status? Tracy: Married like a mug. Extra, extra permanent. Kenrya: How long y'all been together? Tracy: Since 2009. Kenrya: That's a long ass time. Tracy: It's a long, long time. Kenrya: I ain't never been with nobody that long. Tracy: Listen, I don't recommend it. Erica: My barber maybe? Like, the fuck. Kenrya: Shit, I don't even think I had any service providers for that long because I switched cities. Tracy: I've been on- Erica: Cell phone- Tracy: A serial monogamous person. Kenrya: Cell phone. Yeah, I was serial monogamous too. But the problem with my serial monogamy was that I just didn't want to be by myself, so there's that. That was only in hindsight, and I recognize that. Tracy: And that's funny how that works, because now I'm like, "I just want to be by myself, want some time to myself." Kenrya: There is that because you have how many children? Tracy: Two children. Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah, that's a real ass thing right there. Tracy: Yeah, the struggle is real. Erica: Damn. Kenrya: So as our listeners have probably ascertained, you're married to somebody who you were friends with before y'all got together. So tell us the story of how that happened. Tracy: So what had happened was- Erica: All good stories start like that. Tracy: So lots of mutual friends ... so my friends all went to school with my husband from about third grade through 12th grade. So, I met those friends in college, so they were already friends beforehand. So I joined the friend group and immediately, once we all came together as friends, everybody immediately wanted to hook us up. But I was- Kenrya: Why is that? Tracy: They thought we some similarities with ethnicities and such, without sharing too much. But they thought that we would make a good match, just our personalities, very laid back. They just thought, immediately, y'all need to be together. However, I was busy sowing my royal oats at the time and was not interested- Erica: As all women should- Kenrya: Yes, royal oats. Listen, I fell asleep to “Coming to America” last night. Tracy: Yes, I was on a serious mission. So this was like, I was about to move to New York, one of my dream cities that I always wanted to live in, and I already knew that I was about to be just hot in the streets. And so I was like, "No. We will be friends. We will keep it that way." And I was just also worried about the whole friendship circle, I was like, "I don't want to mess it up." I'm trying to sow my royal oats. I know I'm not right, right now. So we just remained friends, and we were those friends that were just always showing up for our friends when they got married or if they were having baby showers and parties. We were the two cool friends that show up and come with libations and hang out, so we kept it friends for many years. Erica: So you kind of touched on this, where you said you were hesitant to mess up the friendship circle. In the book we read, the two characters, Shad and Aisha, they are similar to you, a part of a big group of friends and they were hesitant to start anything because they were like, "If shit goes down south then we fucking up the whole groove of the group." Obviously that was a concern. When did you overcome that and was just like, "Fuck it"? Tracy: So after I sowed my royal oats and got burned out, I was literally in therapy- Kenrya: These niggas- Tracy: Listen, I was out done, okay? I was like, "Wow, everybody is just trash-" Erica: Trash. Kenrya: Basura. Tracy: I am taking a break from dating from ... I'm just like, "I think I might just be single. I need to find myself." I had just started therapy, I was like, "Yes, this is such a good space to be in." I was weaning myself off all the penis, I was like, "I'm done." Tracy: And then had been doing therapy for a couple of months and then went to one of those good friend's wedding in Mexico. And the things that I was interested in a year or two before, they just seemed so frivolous. Tracy: And now, all of a sudden I was like, "Ooh, stability and non-triflingness- Kenrya: These got jobs? Tracy: ... and a strong circle of friends who I also like. Jobs, employee, traveling freely." All of these things looked extra sexy under the Mexican sun where we were for this wedding. Tracy: So I was in a very different place and I was just like ... I placed a high value in that moment, I think, on ... and it's debatable with myself if it was too much of a value, but I really placed the high value on trust and having a relationship with somebody or just embarking on what could be with somebody who was already connected to a circle of people who I trust and who I know would look out for me and just not recommended- Erica: They already did the vetting. Tracy: They already did the vetting and I had already known this person. So I was like, "This is safe territory." Erica: Okay, cool. Kenrya: So besides the fact that I have never actually wanted to fuck any of my friends. I haven't. Look at Erica face though. She like, "I think I have." Erica: I'm like ... Tracy: But I find that- Kenrya: Bitch, I know you fucked your friends. Erica: You got a lot of friends. Kenrya: I do and I ... Okay. I can think of two friends who I fucked and neither one of those situations was a good situation. Erica: Yeah. Kenrya: Yeah. In general, it's not a thing that I want to do. And also, in one of those, it was absolutely just a one-night stand, it was never going anywhere. Kenrya: Another one of the reasons that I have rarely gotten involved with people who I counted as my friends is because I know way too much about them. Was that ever a consideration or a possible barrier when you were thinking about getting with your now husband? Tracy: No, because he tricked me because ... he was always the quiet, kind of reserved homie in the group, so it's hard to describe, but I was like, "Oh, he's kind of like a little mystery, kind of hard to figure out- Erica: Because that group is a lot of large personalities. Kenrya: Yeah. Tracy: A lot of large personality personalities. And this person, my husband's personality, was like completely like zero, just chill, all the time. So it kind of made me be like, "Oh, I kind of ... and I can be a lot sometimes. I'm much more chill now, but I'm on all the time. So for me, I was like, "Oh." I was trying to get to know him. I was like, "Who are you? Who are you?" It was interesting because I was learning a lot of stuff out that he hadn't shared with a lot of the friends in that circle, surprisingly, over a long time. Erica: Okay. So how do you think having a foundation as friends positively impacts your marriage? Tracy: I think ... I mean, I recognize not all friends with benefits have a circle that they ... I don't know. Everybody's like, "Oh, a friend is like a part of a larger friend group." Sometimes it's just your one friend. But for us, because we had that circle, I feel like we had a group of people kind of always rooting for us, which is helpful when you embark on marriage because you have so many moments where you're like, "Um, is this shit worth it? Like, I'm about to call it quits." Right? Erica: Yeah. Kenrya: Yeah. Tracy: And so it's helpful to have some objective friends that'll just listen and that'll be like, "You know what, do what you need to do. I'm hearing you out and remember why y'all first got together" or- Kenrya: Friends of your marriage. Right? Tracy: Exactly. Erica: Yeah. Tracy: Supporters- Kenrya: People who want you to succeed together. Tracy: Want to see you ... exactly. So I think that's been amazing to have, and it's also been helpful for me to also remember when shit gets hard, where I'm like, "Remember? Remember how all this started when we was like all one big group of friends, just hanging out, we didn't have all these responsibilities?" So I think that's really the big piece for me, but to keep it real, a lot of it too is more so on just the disappointments of like, "Okay, we're in this large circle and we're friends and so forth," but then when things, aren't where you want them to be in the marriage, I think you kind of look at that friendship a lot harder, whereas like, "Okay, is this friendly?" Like, "Friends, remember? We go way, way, way back, like what's happening here?" So ... Kenrya: Yeah. Erica: So on the other side of the coin, do you think that there are ways that having this friendship as a foundation negatively impacts the marriage? Tracy: I think sometimes I think so. And it could just be how everybody handles things differently. Right? So I can only speak from my experience, but for me, I think when shit gets hard, I pull on that friendship piece and try to think about, "Remember why this all started?" And sometimes I feel like that that's not necessarily focusing on the now, like on the right here, right now versus this history, right? Kenrya: Nostalgia. Tracy: Yeah. This nostalgic, kind of like what we used to be and who we were versus now who we are, two tired ass parents working in the middle of a pandemic in this tiny ass space looking at each other and it's hard. And so sometimes I think that piece, and then I do think about our friendship circle, right? And when I get frustrated around, "Am I going to be the one that's going to defect? Like ..." Erica: [inaudible 00:11:32] Tracy: My shit going to blow up first. But I think about those pieces where ... it skews the reality sometimes, or it's just extra shit. Where it's like, "You know what, Tracy, what is it that you feel right now? Like, what's happening right now?" And just shut all of that out. Kenrya: Right. That actually leads to my next question, which is what have you found really works in your relationship to keep in touch with each other through the highs and the lows, both right now in the middle of a fucking pandemic and just in general? Because 10 years is a long ass time. Tracy: Drugs, alcohol, no- Kenrya: Yes ma'am. Erica: Bitch. Let's keep it all the way for real, for real. Tracy: Let's keep it real. Honestly, that every blue moon it's like, hey, quarterly, semiannually, let's put something on the books like vacations, just having time to connect and get away from this ... I mean the daily grind is so exhausting. Tracy: Oddly enough, too, when I think about things that have happened over the years, I would say, also tragedies have kind of brought us together and kind of made us remember the reasons why we got together. Erica: So what do you do to be in touch with yourself and your body in the midst of being a present partner and a present parent? Tracy: All the things. Yoga at home now, meditation apps, reading positive affirmations. I follow all the Black therapists on Instagram. Anything that I can get that really just reminds me of my relationship with myself. I think being in a long-term marriage, one of the things that has really made very clear to me is yes, being friends helps and so forth, but the first relationship is with myself. And so I think for me, it's just keeping myself grounded and really just trusting my instincts more and just recognizing, some days I feel crappy, some days I feel great, and just kind of leaning into that without apologizing for it. Erica: That's really dope. Kenrya: Yeah. So, you mentioned earlier about how y'all work in the little space together. I'm wondering how the pandemic has impacted your dynamic when it comes to intimacy, both with your partner and with your children because there's a lot of different types of intimacy and I feel like being trapped got something to do with that. Tracy: Yes, honey. It is completely throwing the vibes off because all day long it feels literally like I'm pulled in 25 different directions. So it takes me twice as long just to do one task that I would normally do at work in a shorter amount of time because I'm also getting somebody some food, getting somebody a snack, helping somebody wipe their butt and then coming back to do a video meeting, all the while ... and as being a mother, both of us, my husband and I can be sitting at the table, but both kids will constantly only come to me, and so it feels like I'm sitting on the other side of the table, like "This motherfucker get a full day of work?" Erica: This nigga right here. Tracy: No interruptions. I be sitting there like, "Come on girl." And that's when all my calm stuff got to come in because I be like, "thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking a lot of thoughts." So it just builds up a lot of resentment throughout the day, sometimes, because I feel like I'm taking on the brunt of the work. And so that's when the friendship stuff comes in, where I be like, "Again, this is not friendly. Like, what the fuck?" So having to have those conversations every so often as ... and then it just throws intimacy off. Like for me, my love language is like, help me clean up. Help me take care of the kids, just help ... Kenrya: Be an equal partner. Tracy: Be an equal partner. Help me not feel like a maid that's exhausted at the end of the day, and then I'm supposed to get sexy? And want to be intimate? Kenrya: This don't make my pussy wet. Erica: [inaudible 00:15:53] titties. Tracy: This make me dry. Okay? I'm like, "You about to get this headscarf and turn to the side and good night." Kenrya: And you earned it. Tracy: You earned it. You worked so hard to earn that shit. Terrible. And then enter drugs and alcohol. Sike, no. No, but enter just me, honestly, just being like, "Okay, this cycle has to stop. What actions can I do to change this shit?" And then usually I will work on my mood, go exercise or some shit, and then I'll be horny and then life will be better for a short amount of time. Kenrya: Exercise is underrated for that. When I finished working out, I feel strong. I feel great about myself and I want to fuck. Immediately. Erica: No, for real. You have blood flowing to all your parts, not just your head and your limbs, but to all your parts. Tracy: Yup. Erica: So I think people fail to realize that getting that blood moving will get- Kenrya: [inaudible 00:16:55]. Erica: [inaudible 00:16:56] moving. Tracy: It sure is. I was like, "Whoa, okay, let me just get my workout on." But otherwise, I get into this depleted space where I'm just like, "I just don't have the energy for it." And it's just ... so I think, again, but normally once we get out of our world and this small last apartment, we also just on top of each other, right? And focusing on everything, how you chew, how you move, why you sit that there. "What are you doing?!" It becomes ridiculous, where I'm like, "We need to go visit some people. We need to get out." So just mixing it up, I find ... and just having something to work towards. Just having a goal together. We need that shit to lighten the mood and just kind of keep us moving forward. I know some couples do all kinds of shit and I'm like, "That's not us, but we need to start doing that." Kenrya: You got to do what you can when you can. Tracy: Yeah. Kenrya: It's not like there's not a whole bunch of shit going on in the world right now. Erica: A whole bunch of shit. Tracy: A lot. It's heavy. Kenrya: Yeah. A lot of it, I think just comes into granting yourself grace. Tracy: Yep. Kenrya: When you're coming up against this stuff. So kudos to y'all. Kenrya: My next question is what does a successful marriage look like to you? Tracy: Successful marriage looks like therapy, like therapy together as a couple. It looks like travel, just doing things together, leisure stuff in addition to just taking care of all of the responsibilities equally. It looks like just mundane, same routine. A lot of relationship and marriage is literally just somebody being able to be in that space with you day in and day out without it feeling like it's a production and work and so forth, like just being ourselves. So consistency and connection. Erica: So you got a lot of shit going on. So I know this question, if you're like, "Look, bitch, I wish." Kenrya: Right, [inaudible 00:19:17]. Erica: Exactly. But is there anything that you're looking forward to reading? Do you have like a, to be read pile? I have one, it's really dusty, but ... Tracy: I have ... I just finished a book for the first time in like a year, thanks to the pandemic. It's called “Pachinko” and it's a really great book about Koreans living in Japan. It's a historical family saga. And I learned a lot about Korean, Japanese relationship, history that I didn't know about. So that was a really great book. And then my next book, I have a pile sitting right over here. If you were here, you would see. I'm just getting into “Patsy” by Nicole Dennis-Benn. So that's on my list. I'm going to get through that one next. And I have “The Water Dancer” that I want to get into, and I need to finish “Thick.” So that's my ... Erica: All right. Kenrya: All right. Yeah, I haven't finished “Thick” either, actually. I'm somewhere in the middle. Tracy: Same. Kenrya: Yeah. Tracy: Yeah. Erica: Okay. So I have a few rapid-fire questions. I'm just going to give you an either or, and you're going to tell me your pick. Okay? Hot or cold? Tracy: Hot. Erica: Give or receive? Tracy: Receive, selfish. Aries. Kenrya: Yes, Aries. Erica: Beach or mountain? Tracy: Beach. Mountain is dangerous. Erica: Now, I know you, so you cannot pick "Neither" for the next one. Dog or cat? Tracy: Oh my gosh. Kenrya: Ugh. Yeah, neither. Lord have mercy. Tracy: You pissing me off with this because you know I don't like no animal hair. Kenrya: Same. Hard same. Fuck, it's gross. Tracy: But I'll pick dog. Erica: Last one. Country or city? Tracy: Woo. City. Erica: Alrighty. Alrighty. Okay. So why would you do hot over cold? Tracy: Because I'm getting old. Erica: And them bones don't move like they used to. Kenrya: Mm-mm (negative). They don't like that. Tracy: I need hot liquids to keep everything ... Erica: Keep everything moving. Tracy: Keep everything moving and grooving. Kenrya: Now, I leaned back on a heating pad all day yesterday because I got old lady back. Tracy: Listen, it ... Erica: How'd you throw out your old lady back? Kenrya: Why you ask so many questions? Erica: Because I know ... it's so simple. That I want to make ... Kenrya: I was reaching over- No. I was reaching over to the side of my bed to get my motherfucking water bottle and went, "Ooh!" Erica: She was like, "I think I threw my back out reaching for a bottle of water." I was like ... Tracy: Getting wild over there. Water in the bed. Erica: I know, because you got to sleep with some water next to the bed. Kenrya: Listen, you know I can't- Tracy: At all times. Kenrya: Yeah, no, ever since I was pregnant, I cannot go to sleep without water next to my bed. It's impossible. Tracy: Yeah. I'm sitting here sweating right now, drinking a hot ass cup of coffee, but- Kenrya: It's hot. Tracy: ... I felt like ... because hot. I felt like I needed to start my day with a warm beverage and then it helps everything be regular. Erica: It's wild how the older you get, the more routines you have to have. Tracy: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Erica: Like if I don't do X, Y, and Z in this particular way- Tracy: Right. Erica: My morning's off. I have to have a glass of orange juice with my green wheat grass powder, Miralax and all my vitamins. Tracy: You know you ain't invincible. When we was younger, we used to be like, "I don't need nothing, I'm a hold it." Remember? It's like, "I'm a hold it and not go to the bathroom in this public place." Now? Erica: There's no shame whatsoever. Tracy: Well, look ... Kenrya: You know I will shit anywhere. So. Tracy: Listen. I have joined that bandwagon very quickly. I'm routine, like, "Oh, it's time." Kenrya: So I have to say this. This wraps up this week's episode of The Turn On. Thank you for joining us and we will see you back next week. Tracy: [inaudible 00:23:47]. I feel like y'all need special effects. Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support the turn on and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, then drop us a five star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Just post your review and email us a screenshot at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and you'll gain access to lots of goodies, including The Turn On Book Club and two for one raffle entries. And don't forget to send us your book recommendations and your sex and related questions, and follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and we will see you soon. Bye.
LISTEN TO THE TURN ON
Apple Podcasts | Google Play | iHeart Radio | Radio Public | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn | YouTube CONNECT WITH THE TURN ON Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Patreon SHOW NOTES In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read from "Benefriends” by Chencia C. Higgins, then talk about dating within your friend group and their favorite restraints. Resources:
The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information. TRANSCRIPT Kenrya: Come here. Get off. Erica: Welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. We are going to read from “Benefriends,” by Chencia C. Higgins, written in 2019. So, sit back, relax and get your wine, get your weed, get your whatever you need and enjoy. Kenrya: “Benefriends,” by Chencia C. Higgins. Kenrya: I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it, along with my undershirt, onto the couch before kicking out of my canvas tennis shoes and sliding out of my jeans. When she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, letting the material fall away from her body and expose herself to me, I almost choked on my tongue as I sucked in a mouthful of air. My sweet little Aisha. She was the nurturer in our group, the one who would send random messages to the group chats and make sure everyone had eaten lunch. Kenrya: The one who always showed up with soup, tea, and homemade elderberry syrup whenever one of us gets sick. She was sweet, always had been, and at five feet, five inches, she was definitely little. But the woman standing in front of me was so much more than what I'd thought I'd always known. Her coppery brown skin looked smooth and soft, and my fingers twitched in anticipation. Kenrya: The tips of her nipples were dusky and beaded, waiting for me to taste them, and the juncture of her thighs held a smooth, hairless palace that I hoped to play in. Seeing the curves I had actively avoided noticing exposed to me like this had my heart pounding hard. Anxious, I stood and quickly disrobed, dropping the last of my clothes into a haphazard pile on the floor near the sofa. Kenrya: Then I stood there, mouth ajar as I observed the vision in front of me. Naked as the day she was born, Aisha stood confidently with her hands on her plush hips, and allowed me to get my fill of her beauty. And she was beautiful. Aisha was about three shades darker than my warm brown hue, but even in the low light from her ambient floor lamp, her skin glowed. The curves of her round body made my mouth water, and I wondered how I'd been around this fine ass woman for all these years and been unaware. Kenrya: "Sit down," she commanded in an authoritative voice I didn't recognize, causing me to instantly take a step back, dropping down to her couch the moment the backs of my calves hit the cushions. My legs fell open naturally, and when her eyes fell to my lap and stayed there, my dick twitched of its own accord. She stalked toward me slowly, a lioness with eyes on her prey. When she reached me, she climbed into my lap and leaned into me, straddling my hips and crushing my dick between our bodies. Kenrya: A hiss sounded low in my throat as she trailed the pointy tips of the painted nails on her right hand up my chest until she reached the base of my neck. My palms itched with the desire to put my hands on her, but I wasn't sure if I should, if she even wanted that. "Touch me." I didn't hesitate. Both hands came to her back, caressing the soft skin there before I was unable to help myself, and I gripped the round globes of her ass, massaging the cheeks indulgently. Her hips flexed in my lap, and suddenly the scent of her arousal engulfed my senses. Kenrya: Shit, that hot musky aroma was calling to me. I wanted to taste her, to eat her pussy until she cried my name, and then climb inside of her and fuck the shit out of her right then, but this was her show. I told her I'd let her fuck me, and that meant I had to sit here and let her do her thing. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait too long. She leaned back and wrapped her short fingers around my dick. "I knew it, you have such a beautiful dick, Shad." Her eyes were between us as she murmured the compliment. Kenrya: I felt my face warm and my dick harden to near granite in her palm simultaneously in response. "It's nice and long, just like you." My hips jerked forward involuntarily and my teeth grazed my lip as a groan slipped out of my mouth. Within seconds, she was pulling a condom from some unknown place, ripping it open with her teeth and sliding it onto my dick. Then she raised up one leg and angled my dick underneath her pussy, catching my eye before she slid down smoothly, impaling herself on me. Kenrya: "Shit, Ish. Damn!" I swore as her wet warmth swallowed me whole and gripped me tight, and I dug my fingers into the flesh of her ass. Aisha's cushy walls were vibrating around my dick, and my head flopped back against the couch as I tried to get some control over myself. "Fuck, Shad. You feel so good." Not yet moving, she squeezed my dick with her pelvic muscles. Lifting my head, I met her eyes. Kenrya: The low, lusty look in them impossibly turning me on even further. "Come on, girl," I gritted in a strained voice, "You supposed to be fucking me. Don't just sit on it, ride this dick." I couldn't help but punctuate my command with a sharp slap to one of her cheeks. Grinning, she gasped sensually, leaning into the sting instead of crying out against it. Digging her knees into the cushions on either side of my waist, she lifted and lowered her body above me, over and over again in a pace too slow for my liking. Kenrya: Resisting the urge to grab her hips and assist with her momentum, I trailed my fingertips up and down her spine, causing her back to concave, which pushed her titties right into my face. Well, shit, that was the equivalent of dangling a steak in front of a starving dog. Bending my neck, I captured a nipple between my lips and licked and sucked on it before moving to the other one, tugging it gently with my teeth. Aisha moaned and leaned into me, damn near smothered me with her titties as she grabbed the sofa on either side of my neck and dropped her head into my shoulder. Kenrya: Just as she started an insufferably slow grind in my lap, she faced me and began to lick and suck on my neck. Her tongue touched a spot that must have been above a direct line to my dick, because I thrust up into her unconsciously. What the hell was that? It felt like an involuntary reaction, like when I used to go to the doctor when I was a kid and he would tap my knee with that small rubber hammer. She licked again and I thrust a second time and then she covered the spot with her mouth and sucked hard as she ground down on me and flexed her pussy on my dick. Kenrya: The three sensations happening concurrently were my undoing, and I hated to crest before her, but since she was running the show, I was helpless to stop myself. I pulled her hips down and thrust up until I was as deep inside of her as I could get in this position. "Ish, fuck!" Faintly, I register her keening cry over my own groan and release, but undoubtedly felt her began to jerk in my arms as she came as well, her pussy contracting on my dick so intensely it almost hurt. Kenrya: I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her body securely to mine without any desire to let her go. We stayed that way for a few minutes, sitting in what would be silence if not for our labored breathing. My mind was racing a mile a minute. Aisha had single-handedly pulled my nut out of me all while in one position, and I was shook. No woman had ever ridden me to orgasm without my assistance from below and for my sweet little Aisha to have been the first? It almost felt wrong. Before I could fall too deep in the rabbit hole in my mind, Aisha lifted her head from my shoulder where she surely left a passion mark and smiled at me. Kenrya: Her skin was dewy and her Afro was mashed on the side that had been up against my cheek, but that freshly fucked look only served to reignite the fire in my loins, and I felt myself begin to harden inside of her. Reflexively, my eyes tracked the movement as she traced her lips with her tongue before speaking. "I hope you didn't have any other plans for tonight." "Why is that?" As soon as the question left my mouth, she squeezed my dick with her pussy and I groaned. "Because you aren't leaving any time soon. Not until I've had my way with you." Kenrya: My eyes fell to where we were still connected. "Uh, didn't you just have your way with me?" She twisted her lips in way that was somehow sultry and mischievous. "Oh, I have so many more ways that I plan to have you tonight." Then, she lifted up on her knees until I fell free from her, and climbed out of my lap. "Grab you a few bottles of water, then meet me in my bedroom." She spun on her heel, and walked out of the room, the thick cheeks of her ass jiggling with each step. Erica: So, welcome back. That was “Benefriends” by Chencia C. Higgins, written in 2019. Kenrya, thank you for that lovely reading. Kenrya: You're welcome. Erica: All righty. So, how about you provide a little synopsis of the story? Kenrya: So yeah, in “Benefriends,” we first meet our protagonist, who is Shad, which is interesting for us, because most of the books that we do on the show actually don't have a male as the lead protagonist. We meet Shad early on, and we find out that he's in this little tight friend group, and there's like six of them and they all roll together. And in that group is Aisha, and Shad and Aisha have known each other since they were 13. And there's this one night where Aisha basically confides in him that she hasn't had sex in a while, and she says that she has a high sex drive, and that's just driving her crazy. And so Shad basically volunteers his dick, and so the scene that I just read is the first time that they have sex. So... Erica: And hijinks ensues... Kenrya: Exactly. Well, it definitely do. Erica: Okay, so this is our classic friends with benefits trope, right? It's a friends to lovers. Kenrya: Friends to lovers. Yeah. Erica: Sorry, my bad. Kenrya: But it does start as a friends with benefits kind of a situation, for sure. Erica: Okay, yeah. So, classic friends to lovers trope. We kind of touched on the friends to lovers situation, but one of the things that we talked about were... One of the things we've talked about is if we've done the friends to lovers thing. I think we both said we have? Kenrya: Yeah, I mean, I did, but it never... It was never lasting. It was like friends, people who was fucking, and then friends again. Erica: So, okay, yeah. Because that was going to be one of my questions. Has it ever not been... the relationship not been ruined from fucking? Kenrya: Not for me. No. I mean, I say that. It's not as if I've done it a lot. I think we definitely talked about this. I've done it... I think I've maybe fucked three or four of my friends over the course of my [crosstalk 00:12:21]- Erica: Well, all right. Kenrya: Maybe three. But no, it didn't, it went right back to being friends after we did it. One of those situations was definitely a one-night stand and we understood it to be that from the beginning. Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). So a true Shad and Aisha story? Well- Kenrya: Well, kind of. Yeah. Without spoiling anything. Erica: No, we spoiled it right there, okay. Sorry. Kenrya: And then one was a... Oh, he was in my ear for a long time and I had a dude. And then, once I got out my relationship... Erica: Niggas. Kenrya: Yeah, you know how they do. So then I got sucked in, because I was free, kind of mostly. And yeah, it never really gelled. I was very young, and a part of me really was like, "Well, this person is my friend, we should try to make this turn into a relationship," but it just never really gelled and- Erica: Didn't quite curl over? Kenrya: ... so we just... Yeah, so we were just friends and are still friends, shit. Erica: Well, that's good. Kenrya: How about you? Erica: I've had sex with friends, I've said that before. Now, I'm doing some like, digger deeping... deeper digging, and now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I mentioned this before, but there is this guy that we are friends, we've had sex in the past. And it's like, "Nigga, this ain't going to turn into anything." Like- Kenrya: Was that that nigga that I didn't know for the longest time that y'all was fucking? And you said it all matter of factly like I just should have known? Erica: Oh, shit. That's another one. Girl, this pussy be forgetting. This pussy be forgetting. Kenrya: Because I was like, "Really?" I was so proud of you having this friendship with this person. Nah, y'all are fucking. Erica: No, but he's cool people. I mean it, we fucked once, but it was like, "All right, back to normal." Yeah. Oh my God. See, see? Look, I be forgetting. I think we asked that question, "How many people have you had sex with?" in our- Kenrya: I don't think we have. Erica: We had this in your sex journey, in this- Kenrya: Oh, we've asked the other people. Erica: ... your sex life. Yeah. Kenrya: But we've never answered that question. Erica: Yeah, because I remember when you asked it, I cackled hard. I was like... Kenrya: Bitch, who knows? Erica: Yeah, some of that shit ain't memorable. You know? Kenrya: I used to count. I wonder at what point I stopped. Erica: Mm-mm (negative). Kenrya: I definitely used to. But also I was young and had dumb ass niggas who liked to ask that question. Erica: Yeah, uh-huh (affirmative). Kenrya: Y'all never like to answer. What did J. Cole say? Even though J. Cole is ugh. You know you got to multiply by three or some other fuck shit that he said. Erica: Honey, let me tell you something. I've never pushed a child out this pussy, therefore, I ain't never had sex. I just really know how to suck dick, really good. Because I- Kenrya: But there's no proof. Erica: ... I've learned by reading books. There's no proof. Kenrya: None. Erica: They say the body generates new cells every 60 days or whatever, so. This pussy- Kenrya: Your cells have been untouched. Erica: Yeah, this pussy new. This pussy is new-ew-ew. So, anyway. So him, but I have another friend that's like, "Nah, we're good." Because it was definitely one of them like, moments of weakness. Fuck, what is wrong with my mouth today? One of those moments of weaknesses, where it was just like, I really need some dick, you're around. And niggas gonna nig! Kenrya: Yeah, I mean, shit. If you give them the opportunity. Erica: Yeah, niggas gonna nig, and so, and I think you said this. This is why people don't like their friends having... Their partners having friendships of the other sex. Because they all think back- Kenrya: If they're heterosexual, yeah. Erica: Yeah. Thank you. Because they all think back to those relationships where either they were or they had a friend that was always like, "Look, in case of emergency, break this glass." But yeah, I don't give a fuck. Because I'm like, "You're going to fuck somebody, you're going to fuck somebody." Kenrya: And that's what it really comes down to, right? Can I trust you enough to respect our relationship and not do no shit that's outside of the bounds of what we've agreed upon? Erica: Yeah. Yep, period. Kenrya: Whether it's with your homegirl or your homeboy, or with a stranger. Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative), so yeah. I don't think I recalled these two relationships, and maybe it's because the sex... the friendship remained even after the sex. That like- Kenrya: That bloomed to much larger than that moment of whatever. Erica: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I do have a couple friends that come to mind that were purely fuck buddies. And we are still friends now, but we're still really good friends now, but the sex was very much looming in our space. Kenrya: So you never had anybody who y'all were friends, and then y'all had sex and then it was awkward, and then y'all just kind of drifted apart? Erica: Maybe. I don't think so. I don't think so. Because again, to me, sex is just sex. You know? And so, if it got awkward and we pulled apart, it would have been on his end. Just because- Kenrya: You don't give a fuck. Erica: ... I don't give a fuck unless it was so fucking horrible, or you like some weird shit. Kenrya: I don't know what's weird. Erica: Like, shoot cream cheese out your ears when you come or something, and I'll be like, "Okay, this is weird. I've got to go." Kenrya: Or you could eat cream cheese, I don't know. Erica: Let's not talk about cheese and fucking, please? Kenrya: Okay. Erica: Just for the culture. Whatever that means. Okay, so Shad is a- Kenrya: Isn't that Bow Wow's name? Erica: Shad, yeah. Kenrya: Ain't that the same shit? Erica: Yeah, that is Shad. Okay, so- Kenrya: Every time I would read it in here, I'd be like... Erica: Lil' Bow Wow? This nigga writing books? Yeah, okay. So, Shad is a music writer? Music journalist? Kenrya: Yes. Erica: I don't know the appropriate terms. Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative), yep. Music journalist. Erica: He writes words about music, and this story totally reminded me of when you were living in New York, and you'd be like, "Come on, I got a random." I'm like, "Okay." Kenrya: We would pop up everywhere. I've been to some amazing... and I wasn't even a music writer. But I have absolutely been to a million amazing little small room sets and all kinds of shit. Erica: Yeah, it's dope as hell. I mean, that just makes me wistfully think about... Did I use that term right? Wistfully- Kenrya: You ain't finished yet. Erica: Bitch, anyway. Kenrya: Probably. Erica: Wistfully think about when we were two young hot girls, two little ponies. Two little My Little Ponies, because obviously, this bitch has debunked my thoughts of being a stallion. Two little My Little Ponies, racing through the streets of New York, just being hoes, putting miles on these pussies. Kenrya: We had a lot of fun. Erica: It was. It was. And does that still happen? I mean, I guess it does still happen in the industry, where people get invited to free shit, and that kind of thing. Kenrya: Oh, yeah. I mean, that's kind of how it works, right? You invite media folks like me to your shit in hopes that I'll write about it and talk about it, and whatever. Mm-hmm (affirmative). Erica: But I mean, so we were doing it in the early 2000s, when the economy was coming out of- Kenrya: It started in '03? Erica: No, it was before recession, right? It was before recession. Kenrya: It was before, yeah. Because I came to New York in '03. Erica: And so, niggas was living high, because I remember I was doing commercial real estate at that time. And the shit, the free shit that they give you, the shit that they offer you, we would go to events and they'd be like, doing a drawing for a car. Because it was just like, it was so much fucking money around, you know? Kenrya: Yeah, especially in the city. Erica: Exactly. And so I feel like even if you're getting invited to shit now, well, especially now, but like- Kenrya: I mean, shit, now it ain't, you know? Erica: You're getting invited to Zoom parties. But even if you're getting invited to shit now, it's very different from when we were doing it, because- Kenrya: Probably. I mean, it's crazy because I don't really live that life. It feels like a whole other... Trips to other countries, and Sundance villas with movie screening passes and three meals a day at fancy restaurants and man, that was like a lifetime ago. Car service every fucking day. Erica: Oh, I miss a good car service. Kenrya: Yeah, like- Erica: Car service! Kenrya: Meals into the office- Erica: That was like, it wasn't Uber, it was like a black car. Kenrya: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the trade-off of course was that I worked like a crazy person. The reason that there were meals was because I was in the office [crosstalk 00:21:52]- Erica: They didn't want you to leave the office, yeah. Kenrya: Exactly. Erica: I mean, but I think that there's joy... I don't know if joy is the right word but there's fun in that when you're fucking 22, 23, is just when you hit like 25, 26, you're like, "Okay, this shit ain't for my old ass no more." You know? Kenrya: Yeah. I always say New York is definitely a city, and especially in my industry is like, a time in the city for the very young, I definitely lived there and did that whole thing right when I should've. I think I was like 22 or somewhere around there. And so, that worked, and then by the time a bitch hit 29, it was time to go. Erica: Yeah, you feel like a grizzled old bird, like, "When I was your age..." Yeah, so. Kenrya: I had to get the fuck out. Erica: Okay, so also I love the group dynamics of this friend group. So, it's six people. They're both male and female, and they like, I think it's a monthly gathering or something? Kenrya: Yeah, they get together every month. Erica: I just love the rituals in that. And especially now, is where living in lockdown, living La Vida Lockdown, (singing)- Kenrya: Wouldn't be E about the singing. Erica: I know. You can mark that on your bingo card. So, I really liked that, and now that we are kind of stuck inside the house, I'm realizing that there's so much value in that. And what I liked about Shad, the story opens with his homeboy trying to get with one of his home girls, he was like, "Come on man, let me go, let me go, let me go!" And I thought it was dope as hell that Shad recognized like, "Nah, this is a safe space. This bitch will fucking kill me if I brought your"- Kenrya: Brought your thirsty ass. Erica: Exactly. Your lecherous ass. Did I use that word right? Kenrya: Yes, ma'am. Erica: Your lecherous ass on into the group, when we're supposed to be having a good time. Kenrya: A relaxed time, yeah. Erica: Yeah, so I thought that was really cool. And I just love the rituals of getting together periodically, and somebody brings the drinks, this is what we're doing, that kind of thing. Kenrya: It made me think of what we used to do. I mean, shit, I guess we were a little older by the time we started really doing that, because everybody was kind of partnered, but remember when we used to get together in one of our friend's houses, and my house on a regular basis. And drink and make and have dinner together, and all of that shit? Erica: Yeah. Kenrya: That's nice. Erica: And I think we're doing it now, just in a different iteration just because we have kids and that kind of thing. It's a little difficult because my kid's of a certain age, and a boy. And other people have kids that are younger, or different interests. My kid is definitely a nerd. He ain't trying to go play football in the back with nobody, not like he would have anybody of his age or anybody to play with. But you get what I'm saying? Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Erica: So it makes it a little more difficult and actually now, our relationships are like, "Get me the fuck away from this husband and kids." So the shit we do is like, "Dope, y'all niggas can't come. Stay at home, bye. I'm going to act like I don't even fucking know you." Right? Kenrya: Yeah. It's the evolution in friendships. Erica: It is an evolution. One of the things they talked about as a group was sex on your period. Kenrya: Oh, I forgot about that. Erica: Running red lights, dipping your French fry in ketchup. Kenrya: So gross. Erica: I know. Yeah, I definitely had a guy who was like, "I mean, I like dipping my fries in ketchup." I was like, "Carry the one, minus the three... Oh, shit!" Kenrya: I'm interested. Why did he say he liked it? Erica: I think it was just more one of them like- Kenrya: "I don't give a fuck." Erica: Yeah, like, "I don't give a fuck." Like not necessarily, "Oh, call me when it's on." Kenrya: Oh, okay. Erica: But that's how I know when I'm about to start my period. Kenrya: When you're horny? Erica: Oh, my God. I am a fucking horn dog. I'm like humping door jambs, and like looking at pillows like, "Mm, that pillow got a fat ass." Kenrya: I've never been that person, but probably because I have so much pain associated with my periods, there's no room for that. Erica: Oh. Girl, I'll be horny. Kenrya: Because I start hurting before my period actually even starts. That's how I know things are about to pop off. No horniness for me. Just pain. Erica: You fuck on your period? Kenrya: No, because pain. Erica: Oh, because of pain? Kenrya: Yeah, I've done it one time. It was years ago, and it was basically... It was like the last day, and we was tired of waiting for it to just finish up. So, we said, "Fuck it," and put down a dark towel and made it happen. Erica: A dark towel? Kenrya: Yeah, but no. I haven't ever done it since then. I'm literally, yeah. I'm in too much pain to even be thinking about anything like that. You have not been watching “I May Destroy You,” have you? Erica: No. Kenrya: Okay, first of all, it's fucking fantastic. Erica: But is it triggering? Kenrya: So, so... No. Well, hmm, okay. It could be. There's definitely some sexual violence that happens. So, yes, it could be. And I guess they do put the little thing on the screen, that tells you before it starts. So I guess that serves as a content warning. Yeah. Erica: But do people even read that shit? I don't even read that shit. Because it's like, that's white noise at that point. I've seen them things all the time. Kenrya: That's true. And you bring up a really great point, that for anyone who is a survivor of rape or any other type of sexual violence may have difficulty. I mean, I am a survivor of that. I wouldn't say it was triggering, but it was definitely difficult to watch. But I'm also fascinated with like, Michaela Coel is fucking- Erica: Dope as fuck? Yes. Kenrya: I just like to look at her, and I just like to watch shit that she wrote and shit that she directed, and I'm so very much sucked in, like waiting for the new episodes to drop every week. So, yeah. You should watch it. But also, it's interesting to see how people process. I definitely know how I processed that shit, which was not at all. So, to see the differences in how people respond to certain situations is really fascinating to me. I think it's a fantastic show, but you definitely... It would probably be better to know what you're coming into, because I did not at all. Erica: So, how does this relate to fucking on your period? Kenrya: Oh, because there's an episode. Thanks, bitch. Bring it back! Erica: Bring it back! Bring it back! I'm like, "If we going to go down this hole, let's have a payoff." Sorry. Kenrya: In one of the early episodes, her character is with someone and they want to have sex but she's on her period. And he's like, "I don't give a fuck, let's go! Let's try," is what he says. But then there's like a blood clot situation. But what's crazy is he wasn't grossed out or anything. He was fascinated by it, and his fascination with the blood clot freaked her out and made her quit. Erica: Well, and that's the thing. I always say, pussies are like little warm moist pockets. There is a lot that goes on in there, and men, not a lot of men understand it. I mean, shit, not a lot of women understand it. They're still trying to figure it out, so I can only imagine the dude being like, "Yo, this a fucking blood clot." Kenrya: He was like, "Oh, does this always happen? What is..." It was this whole thing. And she was like, "Well, I have a heavy flow, so sometimes it," [crosstalk 00:30:22]- Erica: Shit happens. Kenrya: Yeah, right. So, yeah. That's where that was going. Erica: Yeah, I'm like, "Girl, I mean, this is great, but..." Kenrya: Yeah, I'm sorry. Erica: Yeah, I do it. If you comfortable, I'm comfortable too. We're just going to throw down a towel. And bitch, if we're on vacation, honey, we're going to use the white sheets. No. I'm not that bad. [crosstalk 00:30:47] Only because people clean it up. Kenrya: Yeah, but then somebody's got to clean it up. Erica: No, I'm saying, I'm joking. And the only reason that I don't is because someone has to clean- Kenrya: Someone else has to, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Erica: Let's get clear on this, Erica is not trifling, except for that one experience in New York. But again, I'm sorry. Kenrya: Yeah. Erica: We tipped her really well. But yeah, girl. I throw down the sheet in a minute, a towel in a minute and we'll get it on. Because again, you all up in my spot, might as well continue to be up in my spot. You know? I mean, I get it, that some guys are kind of squeamish about it. But you know what I don't understand? And I think you're one of these people. I use the cup, the menstrual cup. And I don't understand how people are like, squeamish about it. I mean, yes. It's blood, but it's your blood, coming out of your pussy. You know? Kenrya: I'm not squeamish about the cup. I just feel like I would have trouble with the placement. Erica: You got to learn. Kenrya: That's because of my anatomy. I just feel like it would be difficult for me, but that's all. Erica: You got to learn. I mean, you can, because I'm mismatched. I'm flopped backwards or whatever. Kenrya: Well, my uterus is retroverted, and then my cervix, one side comes down more. It's like a whole thing, so I just feel like I would have a hard time placing it and keeping it secure, that's all. Erica: You know a whole lot about your- Kenrya: I do, yeah. Erica: ... innards. Which is great thing. But yeah, so I know that my shit's backwards, and I still use it. It took a cycle or two to figure out how to make that happen. But I don't understand how women are squeamish about it. I mean, I get it. But at the same time, I don't, because it's like... It's your shit! Kenrya: Yeah, but think about how long and how many messages that we get about how we're not... that's a private area. It's a no-no place, you're not supposed to touch it, you're not supposed to look at it. So, the idea of having to do something that involves you literally putting your hands into it, for something that doesn't have to do with pleasure, especially related to some other fucking person, that's not what we're taught. So, I feel like there's some unlearning that has to happen for you to be able to be comfortable with that, especially because pads are just the way. A lot of folks are afraid to use tampons- Erica: Tampons. Kenrya: ... because of the things that they've been taught. Erica: Yes. So, I'm really trying my best not to judge. I don't want to sound like some judgey bitch, and so if I sound like one, it's only because I'm so like, "Fuck it." Kenrya: Dumbfounded by it, yeah. Erica: Yeah, but yeah, so, if that's your thing, that's your thing. But yeah, so... Kenrya: So, I've actually moved to using the underwear, and I love it. Yeah, it's really much more comfortable for me. Erica: I've actually moved to having injections that put my ovaries asleep, so I won't have one for five years, and by the time I do- Kenrya: Menopause. Erica: ... it'll be just in time for menopause. So, I get to experience these things called hot flashes multiple times. And have you ever had a hot flash in 90 degree heat? Kenrya: No, ma'am. Erica: You don't want to. Thank God I ain't got no hair, because that shit would be fluffy than a motherfucker. Kenrya: Nothing wrong with fluffy hair. Erica: Yeah. But so, sex on period, I do it. And I actually look at a nigga that do it like, "Huh, you got a Boy Scout badge for that?" He'll be like, a little condom with a red drop of blood... like a little like, bink. So, yeah. Okay, last thing. When they're having sex, our home girl Aisha definitely kind of dominates the situation. She's like, "Look, nigga. This is what we're going to do, this is how we're going to do it." And I actually like it, so we've talked to our first... In our first season, we talked about the dominant submissive situations, roles. And just a general relationship, and it kind of goes over into sex, and you made it very clear, Kenrya, ain't no nigga dominating you generally, but you are open to it in the bedroom, right? Kenrya: Yeah, mm-hmm (affirmative). Erica: Yeah. And I think I am... I still like being submissive in the bedroom, but there are times where I'm like, "Yo, let me run this shit. Let me tell you what the fuck to do. Don't touch this, do that, put your mouth here, that kind of thing." I occasionally like that. Actually, I just saw this... was either TikTok or Twitter. But it was this chick, and I saw the tweet because somebody was like, "Beat his ass, sis!" And so I'm jumping in thinking it's a fucking fight video. Kenrya: Right. Erica: And it was some chick with a nigga with a hood on, and she was going to town. Hot wax, call me mistress, and I was just like- Kenrya: Oh! Erica: And again, I am stuck in this house with no dick, no man, and what's the name of my Ambien? Kenrya: Jerome? Erica: Jerome. And Jerome. So, girl. I was like, "This is nice, this is nice." But and then like, people were like, "Oh my god, this is so gross." I'm like, "Let them people live." That nigga probably paid good money for that. Kenrya: Exactly. Erica: You know? So, how did you feel about the dominating sex in the story? Kenrya: I thought it was dope, because basically when they came into it, it was like, "Well, this is our one. You lending me your dick for tonight, bet. I'm finna get everything I can get out of this situation." So, I appreciated that she was like, "Fuck it, I'm going to do exactly what's going to get me off. If you come, that's cool, but I'm finna"- Erica: But what's going to happen is, I'm going to- Kenrya: I'm going to... Yeah, exactly. Erica: And I said this a million times. I feel like sex is great when everybody's a greedy motherfucker. We all need to take into our own hands our own orgasm, and not lay there expecting somebody to give it to them. Because we all working towards the common goal then, shit is- Kenrya: Everybody gets off. Erica: ... going to be great. Kenrya: Yeah. That's true. Erica: So, that's all I've got on the story. Do you want to add anything, or shall we go onto our next segment? Kenrya: I think it's time for the next segment. Erica: So, we are going to talk about what's turning us on. All right, y'all, so this is what is turning us on this week. Kenrya, take it from here. Kenrya: All right, so what's turning me on this week is the Bondage Boutique Plush Sex Position Restraint with Cuffs, which is a mouthful, and the product kind of is too. It's got a lot of little pieces and parts to it. So, basically, it is almost like a neck pillow, like an abbreviated version of what you would use on a plane or whatever mode of transportation is safe these days. So, you put that part around your neck, and then it has these straps, and the straps on the ends of them are padded cuffs that go around your wrists, and then there is another one, that is another strap that extends from those and has additional cuffs, and you can put those around your ankles. So, you can use it if you're on your back, and it holds all four of your limbs up in the air using just the force of gravity. Erica: Physics, physics. Kenrya: Yeah, you can also use it if you're on all fours, it holds your ankles up in the air. Yes, ma'am. Erica: Oh, I was only thinking on the back, but yes. Kenrya: Yeah, so it's really good for... What has worked best for me using it is being on a bed or other surface that actually puts you at a good height for fucking. Because if it's too low, it's kind of hard to get the full use of it, because it works best for me when my partner is standing and can then access everything. So, it makes visibility really good. Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative), mm-hmm (affirmative). That's my like, I'm drawing a picture in my... Uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative), yeah. Kenrya: Keeps everything up and out of the way, and honestly, it kind of minimizes the amount of energy you have to expend in those positions, and it's also really comfortable on your neck. So, even though everything is kind of anchored there, it's a super plush pillow. Erica: I'm about to order this tonight, and I ain't even fucking like that. Kenrya: Yeah, it's really fucking dope. Erica: Okay. Kenrya: Yeah, it's really, really, really dope, and you can use it for actually having penetrative sex, but you could use it if your partner's using a toy on you and wants to be able to get a really good view and you want to be able to see too, because the pillow raises your head a little bit, like... and you can use it in combination with a wedge, and all that shit. Erica: I'm sorry, I'm so excited. Because here's the thing, a bitch getting old. I need assistive devices. I hate to say that. Kenrya: It holds everything up, and just... It's really honestly comfortable. That plush ass pillow is really doing the business. Erica: Yeah, okay, well, I will be using the link that's found in this, that we're going to provide to purchase said sex set. That is pretty dope as hell, okay. Kenrya: And it was pretty inexpensive, too. Erica: Yeah, okay, well- Kenrya: And totally worth the investment. Erica: That is turning me on too, and I ain't even used it. Kenrya: Ayyyyeeee! Erica: Ay, ay, ay, ay! All righty, well, that wraps up this week's episode of The Turn On. This is Erica and Kenrya, your two favorite hoes making it clap! Kenrya: Making it clap! Erica: God damnit, bye! Kenrya: It's impossible! Erica: This episode was produced by us, Erica and Kenrya, and edited by B’Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app, then drop us a five-star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Post your review and email a screenshot to us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and access lots of goodies, including two for one raffle entries. Don't forget to send us your book recommendations, and sex and related questions, and follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod, and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you soon. Holla! |
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be. Archives
October 2021
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