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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to Mistress Domonique about sex education, the best thing about being a domme and how to shine in nudes.
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Kenrya: Come here. Get off.
Kenrya: Today, we're talking to Mistress Domonique, pronouns she and her. Often known as The Sweet Domo, Mistress Domonique is a sensual sadist who enjoys loving up on people. Mistress Domonique believes that all kinks matter, and she's been a sexual educator and professional Domme for a little over a decade. Yo, thanks for joining us today.
Mistress Domonique: Yes, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Erica: We are so excited to have you.
Mistress Domonique: Yes.
Erica: Tell us a little bit about your work.
Mistress Domonique: Yeah, sure. So I would say, as an adolescent, that's when I've gotten my start into the world of sex in general. It was my responsibility to educate my peers on how to have fun, safe sex. So, you can catch me in high school passing out condoms or telling folks where they can go to get tested, or even how they can put a condom on creatively at a very young age. From there, I just stayed and evolved. So from there you would catch me selling sex toys. When I got out of undergrad, that's when I decided that I wanted to fully become a professional dominatrix, since in my personal life, I just carried this dominant spirit wherever I went. So that plus this freedom that I have around sexuality in general just pushed me into everything domination.
Kenrya: I thought it was interesting. You said it was your responsibility to teach folks around you. Why? Why did you feel like that was something that you needed to take on when you were in high school?
Mistress Domonique: A lot of my classmates were getting pregnant and a lot of my classmates then were having sex, although when I started educating folks, I was not sexually active at all ya'll. I was not fucking at all.
Kenrya: You're like, "I read these books though."
Mistress Domonique: I did, and I attended the workshops in the classes where I put in the hours, but knowing that my classmates couldn't talk to their parents about it at all. So it's like, "Okay, who am I going to talk to about it? I know that I can get a raw educated answer from someone who's not going to judge me." It kind of spread whereas one person would be like, "Yo, I wonder what this is going to look like. I want to do this in the tunnel right now, what are your thoughts?"
Kenrya: Those tunnels. We had those, too.
Mistress Domonique: Listen, the tunnels exist. The tunnels exist. I'm like, "That's fine, but if you want to get oral sex then or you're going to get head, here's a condom, here's a flavored condom. What's her favorite flavor? Here's the main goal. Here's strawberry." So it was just kind of knowing that they had access to someone who wouldn't judge them. Everyone's doing it, so why not? I do think that, because no one else was giving it in my school, meaning you either had to go to the nurse's office to get condoms. So it kind of just ... I'm a servant at heart, so it just made sense that I love learning about sex. Let me just help others.
Erica: Sharing is caring.
Mistress Domonique: Literally. Literally.
Erica: So what do you like most about your work?
Mistress Domonique: I love it when ... so I have male subs, women subs, female subs, as well as Black, white, right? Kind of on the spectrum. I will say that one thing that is common is each sub or client carries this disbelief that you aren't a real Domme. Right? I don't know why it happens. Maybe because they've been tarnished in the past, but there's a point where every single sub gets to where they're like, "Wow, you're everything that I didn't know that you are, but now I see." So I think for me, that's the most joyful part, when that total submission comes in a way of them finally recognizing that, not only am I superior, but you desire to serve and completely obey and worship me with your entire existence.
Erica: Yes, bitch.
Kenrya: Yes. Yes, that would be my favorite part too.
Mistress Domonique: I think that's really my favorite part.
Erica: I got chills through my body.
Kenrya: I know.
Mistress Domonique: Because from there, then it's like, "Okay, Mistress Domonique, what do you need? What can I do?" Right? So it's just a matter of like, "Here's my life. I now trust you to give me my allowance and make sure bills are paid" or "I now am open to trying so many different things with you just because that's there." So I think that's my favorite part.
Mistress Domonique: Yeah.
Erica: So, I even hate to ask this because it was such a high listening to you explain your favorite part, but what's your least favorite part?
Mistress Domonique: That's a good question. My least favorite part. I think there's like two parts. Number one, subs or potential clients who think that they can just slide in my inbox or DM just to kind of have a conversation, just because they think that that's something that's welcome. I think that there's a difference from admiring, but kind of like, "Oh, Mistress or Goddess, I want you to do A, B, C or D." It's just like you're trying to get your rocks off simply by me telling you "No, fall back." I don't like that, but I also think, being a Black Domme, wow, it's really, really old. Right? I think it's new for the kink world in a way that social media now puts a face to us in a way that it hasn't before. Right? Usually the main face that you would see of a dominatrix or professional domination would be a white woman. I will say, now there's kind of like this ... I don't want to say anti-Black sexual worker type of thing, but we are attacked a lot more aggressively than our white counterparts, in a way. Our accounts are reported a lot often, posts are deleted. You can catch us in jail a lot often. Oftentimes, our money is held up in ways that won't necessarily be for the other. So I think just knowing that and having to constantly navigate that has and always will be a challenge.
Erica: By jail, you mean like Twitter jail, Instagram jail, right?
Mistress Domonique: Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Okay. Cool. All right, so the reason that we have you on is that last week we read this book and it's called “F*ck and Fall in Love.”
Mistress Domonique: Y'all, I've read it.
Kenrya: Did you? Yay.
Mistress Domonique: I've read it. So, I've read it today.
Mistress Domonique: I read it today.
Kenrya: Look at you.
Erica: So, look at you, yes. So, there's this scene where Jane has sex on camera for the first time. We understand that you do all things kink, all kinks matter. I understand that, as a dominatrix, you don't always have sex with your clients. You may not have sex with any of your clients, but we wanted to chat with you a little bit about just having sex on camera. So tell us about the first time you stepped in front of the camera as an amateur.
Mistress Domonique: Oh ...
Erica: Or as a professional.
Mistress Domonique: So I was really, really young. Well, not super young, definitely in undergrad. I was dating this guy and we went to the movies and we decided to hook up in the movies and I was like, "Hey, let's record it." We kind of just recorded it in the back of the movie theater. That's when I-
Kenrya: A double feature.
Mistress Domonique: Super, and it was by coincidence that no one was in the movie. There was no one in there, so it just made having the flash on a lot easier, right?
Erica: It sounds like a really great story. I love it.
Mistress Domonique: But it was then ... it was there that I realized that I enjoyed being recorded in a way that ... it turns me on in a way that I have never, ever thought that being recorded itself or even just having sex in front of people could ... is definitely a kink of mine.
Erica: Well, I too. I too. So, did you have any hangups about seeing your body on film? I know the first time I saw myself I was like, "Aw," so what about you?
Mistress Domonique: I would say when I first started, no, just because I had the foundation that I did around sexuality, right? In those trainings they would be like, "Yeah girl, go grab a mirror and examine yourself," right? So that was something that was severely normal to me. So seeing it was just like, "Oh girl, now I see you squirting. Oh, that's cute. That's really cute." But I think now, just because I've gotten older and now it's like my eczema decides that it wants to do its own type of thing.
Kenrya: You and me both.
Mistress Domonique: I find that there are moments when I'm like, "Hmm, I wonder, how can I edit that?" So you would catch me, depending on what type of dark spot it is, I'll put a cute emoji on it or I'll make the picture large enough so that you won't see it, but that's something that ... this eczema is a journey, but that is something that I find that is one of the only things that I think about with regard to my body as it relates to being on camera.
Kenrya: All right. Wow. Well conversely, we know that some folks, that's part of why they aren't comfortable doing things like filming and/or taking nudes. It's not really why I don't take nudes. I think it's just because it's not my natural thing, versus Erica where she's like a master. She's a master snapper. But what tips do you have for folks like me who may be apprehensive about it or even just people who want to do it but aren't sure how to get the best angles or how to cover up the things that they don't like, like how you were just saying with emojis. What are some things people can do to be more comfortable in front of the camera with their bodies?
Mistress Domonique: Yeah. I think the first things first is figuring out whatever things that you need or whatever process you need to get you at your most 100% authentic comfortable. So whatever that is, whether that's some tea and a nice detox bath or a nice meal or a book or a nice foot massage, whatever it is that you need to get in your, I am 100% out of my mind, space. I think that's the most important first step. Then the next step from there is, now that you're out of your head, how can we start feeling sexy? So is that putting on some nice sexy R&B or some lingerie or doing something different at that time that you're taking those photos that you normally wouldn't do. So, normally I don't wear makeup at all. I think it's a piece of me having to find my perfect skin tone, plus I feel like it's a lot of labor into it, but when it comes time to make content or be sexy, I know that I'm putting on makeup because it adds to it, right? It adds to it. Then from there, only you know what it takes to make you feel at your sexiest. Whatever that is, do it and stay out of your head.
Mistress Domonique: Also, recognize that you are a human being and the sexual urges that you feel are natural. So many people try to hide them and fight them in a way that is like, "Oh, if I touch this and that feels good, I'm doing something wrong." Or "I have too much cellulite on this booty cheek, so it looks a little funny." I think it's in those moments when we have to do a little extra loving up on our booty cheek or extra loving upon that area, kind of affirming it. That's how we'll get there.
Kenrya: That's dope. So I'm interested in how ... we've had some folks on the show before and we talked about how their work impacts their personal relationships, whether they're intimate or otherwise. I'm really curious as to that, how that works with you? How does your work impact your intimate relationships and vice versa?
Mistress Domonique: That is a really good question. I'm still figuring it out. In terms of professional, it doesn't impact it really. I'm trying to kind of merge the two, but it's been a little challenge, but personally, I actually just got out of a season of my life where the person that I was in that season with was supportive of me being a Domme, however, didn't want to talk about it. They didn't want to help me look at pictures. They didn't want anything to do with it at all.
Kenrya: They were supportive as long as they didn't have to deal with it.
Mistress Domonique: They didn't have to deal with it at all, but it's who I am, right? So if I'm laying in bed at night and I want to look up some thigh high boots and I want you to see if they're cute or not, right? At the end of the day, it's my partner. I would desire for that person to be there. However, they were just not feeling it at all and at this moment, of course, I don't want to say it's because of that reason alone, but we're no longer in partnership.
Mistress Domonique: I will say, since then, moving forward, it is something that I have communicated to any person that desires to get to know me when I feel like the time is appropriate for me to communicate that too, just because I don't have sex with any of my subs or clients, because at the end of the day I want an alpha man. I don't want a submissive man doing me in the bedroom. That's not what I desire. So when I communicate that to potential partners, I think they get it, but it's a piece of them recognizing like, "Wow, she's kinky as hell." So for them it's like, "How do I get the best of both worlds?" But for me it's just letting them know that, while I may bring some things in, I am not showing up as Mistress Domonique in the bedroom, and sometimes folks don't understand that.
Kenrya: That makes sense.
Mistress Domonique: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Erica: Well, the right man will.
Mistress Domonique: Absolutely.
Erica: The right person will.
Mistress Domonique: You are absolutely right.
Kenrya: I concur. So what advice do you have for folks who want to kind of follow in your footsteps professionally?
Mistress Domonique: The first step, I would encourage them to find their why, not only because it will help them navigate different spaces, but it'll also help ground them when they have moments of I'm not meeting anyone or no one seems to be interested or other folks are getting it or whatever moments of discomfort. I will also encourage them to do research. You can never stop learning. There's never enough information at all. If you meet a professional Domme who says that she knows it all, she's learned all the information so she doesn't have to learn anymore, I would try to go the other way just because someone, anyone, not even in the field of domination, but if anyone says that they're stopped learning, I would be hesitant of that person's personal growth and where they are in life.
Mistress Domonique: I will also encourage them to ... on top of the why, it's a piece of ... why not other things, in a way, if that makes sense, right? So when you choose to be a Domme, it is making the conscious decision that you're going to be a sex worker. Oftentimes, when you're a professional Domme, those lines can get blurred in other things. So I would say merely take as much time as you need to figure out where you desire to go in the realm of sex work, because it is super broad, right? There are some Dommes who choose to have sex with their clients or just have sex with other people via escorting, right? There are other Dommes who may sell pleasure product. There are other Dommes who may just do Kama Sutra. Me, I'm currently studying Kama Sutra. So it really just depends on where it is that you desire to go, but wherever it is that you go, it literally should be who you are. Don't try to do something that you're not at the end of the day. There's nothing wrong with learning other things, but don't try to do things that you're not because folks won't authentically gravitate towards you. It'll be harder.
Erica: We know that you choose to hide your identity online.
Mistress Domonique: I do.
Erica: My question for you is, why did you make that choice and how does that impact your work for better or worse?
Mistress Domonique: That's a good question as well. Such good questions. Snaps.
Mistress Domonique: So initially, I chose to be undercover because of my work. I work and I'm a public servant in my vanilla life, so as COVID is going on, it is literally my responsibility to save this area. Then knowing that, while I do desire to have some of my colleagues switch over to my dark side of things, I know that upon initial reaction, folks won't understand. Where I am at this moment, I don't have the space or energy to offer an explanation.
Mistress Domonique: I have been thinking and plotting and strategizing of when I wrote be switching over because I've been playing with my vanilla page in a way that I've ... every three days I'm dropping some heavy BDSM stuff. Like super wow, whereas colleagues from work follow me. The colleagues from work follow me. It's wild stuff and whereas people are hitting me up and they're like, "Wow, I didn't know that you were into this stuff" and I'm like, "Yes, I love it," but that's kind of how I'm planting my seeds, but I do believe ultimately, more than likely when I transition out of this work and begin to really focus on me being a public servant away from this occupation, then I'll do it because they'll mesh together easily. I can walk everywhere and say, "Yes, I do this and I do that."
Mistress Domonique: It is impacting me because a lot of folks think that I'm fake, sometimes just because they're like, "Oh, there's no face" or "Why aren't there many pictures up?" So, whereas normally someone would send a tribute and then an application, I'm now finding that I have to answer questions before we even get to them filling out applications, just because they're like, "Oh, why can't I see your eyes?" or different things like this. So on my Instagram, you'll see that while there's only a few pics, I put those pics there so that you can see like, "Oh wow, this skin looks like this skin and this body looks like that." Just so that folks can just leave me alone with wanting to see all of this so soon.
Erica: So, two things and they're very different, but I just wanted to touch on them. First, you said applications and tributes. So can you kind of explain that situation on like how a sub would approach you, yada, yada, yada?
Mistress Domonique: Yeah.
Erica: Also, with the idea of your identity being hidden online, I still want to touch on the fact that you were still able to find successes and wins in that. It just took a little bit more work, correct?
Mistress Domonique: Absolutely. Absolutely. I had to maneuver a lot differently in other spaces outside of mainstream social media, just so that I can get traction to that social media page. So you can catch me out in events a lot more than you will on social media, right? Or on other websites like Fet Life, [inaudible 00:23:16] than you will on Instagram. Plus, I also found that when you have contacts in your phone, they still send pages. I accidentally found one of my professors pop up as a suggested contact on Instagram, which I partially kind of don't care because I had a semi-crush on that professor, but it's just kind of like, how is this happening? I don't know why this is happening.
Mistress Domonique: For the applications and tribute, so excuse me. So, subs are different from clients, so submissives are those who I consider those who have decided that they want to worship me, serve me, and obey me. Submissives are slaves. So in order to become a submissive or slave, you have to fill out an application. The application works two ways. Number one, it shows me that you're not wasting my time. You're not just trying to hear me tell you no so that you can beat yourself, right? But it also helps to be understand if we're compatible, because you may want some off the wall shit that's just not going to work over here that I won't know until after you've sent me money, had I met them that application, therefore I'm like, "Oh wow, now I'm stuck with doing something that I didn't really want to do because I didn't have that information upfront." So normally what happens is, let's say on Instagram for instance, you are not sliding in my DMs unless you have sent a tribute.
Mistress Domonique: A tribute is a monetary gift just because you want to get mistress' attention, right? You know that my time is valuable and you know that you'll be wasting it if you try to approach me without compensating me for my time, therefore you don't do it. So you send the tribute and then you would then say, "Tribute sent, mistress," "Tribute sent, goddess," and then approach me with your inquiry or your question or whatever statement it is that you wanted to do. From there, I would encourage you to fill out the application and then we'll meet up and then we'll figure out what our relationship will look like, but that's completely different from those who desire to be clients.
Erica: Okay. Well, thank you.
Mistress Domonique: My pleasure.
Erica: What other precautions should people take to protect themselves if they want to get into this line of work?
Mistress Domonique: I would say the top three would be, number one, know your health, inside and out, from your respiratory system, down to your reproductive system, right? How much oxygen you have flowing in your body, because when you're trying certain things and ... a good Domme wouldn't do anything on a sub that they wouldn't do to themselves. So, when you're trying certain things, you want to make sure that you're okay for it and your body is okay for it. Also, although you aren't having sex with your subs, sometimes you are coming into skin-to-skin contact with your subs, so it's really, really important for you to figure out if you have any type of infections, either bacteria or viral, that's in your body. So anything, any of the H's, HPV, HIV, herpes, hepatitis, those things you will not really know until you get blood drawn or you receive something from cultures. So you have to be really, really important on getting tested regularly and know your status.
Mistress Domonique: The next thing I would say from that is knowing where the sex laws are in the country, in your area or your jurisdiction, because while some things are changing at the national level, things are kind of remaining the same at the state and county. So you have to be careful with maneuvering because in certain states being a dominatrix is seen as straight prostitution, as solicitation. So you have to tread those lines very, very carefully.
Mistress Domonique: The next thing I would say is don't ... properly vet your subs. You shouldn't just be meeting Jack and Joe off of Instagram and then inviting them over to your house just to beat their ass. That's an absolute no-no. You have to check them the same way that you would check a potential partner, if you check potential partners. If not, a little bit more, and never have them at your house. I would say those are like the top three things for safety.
Kenrya: That was great. So what can we, as folks who listen to this show, do to support sex workers?
Mistress Domonique: Sure. I would first start by following, sharing, and talking about as much as you can, Black Domme Sorority. If you aren't familiar, it is a sorority for Black and Afro Latina women who are basically deciding that they want to join a community full of dorms. So I would start there by either following us on Instagram or supporting any of our lovely Dommes who are part of Black Domme Sorority. Shout out to our founder, Mistress Marley. Whoop whoop. I will.
Mistress Domonique: I’d also say advocacy is a really, really big thing. I'm really, really big on the power of our voice and using that to kind of forward move the movement. So if you know of any policies being changed that's impacting those who are sex workers, get out to your council meetings. DC has opened council meetings, hearings. Get out to them, express your concern. There's nothing too big or too little that cannot make an impact or will not make an impact. So do that, but also open up your mind a little bit. Everyone has a kink. Everyone has a kink. So if we think of it from that way, I think that there'll be less shunning, there'll be a lot less stigma that's going around. It will just result in a more open society with less judgment and hate.
Erica: Yep. So are there any myths about sex work that you want to dispel?
Mistress Domonique: Ooh, let's see, that we are all hoes.
Erica: We like a good ho, but not everybody's a ho.
Mistress Domonique: Listen, we love them, but I think that we're automatically hoes, I hear that a lot. Even with older generations, because my mom knows that I'm a Domme. I had to tell her because she's super extra, so I had to let her know from the beginning.
Kenrya: What did she think?
Mistress Domonique: So I don't know about y'all parents or family members, but she watches the ID channel a lot, like true crime and all that stuff.
Kenrya: She is worried.
Mistress Domonique: So she's like ... as soon as I told her, she's like, "Oh, I saw something like that on true crime last night. Yeah, she went to the hotel and her family couldn't find her." Something like that, and I'm like, "Girl, relax. Understand that you raised someone super intelligent, so I'm not going to put myself in harm's way, so like just chill, like just chill."
Mistress Domonique: She also said in that conversation, "So does this mean that you like are going to be fucking for money for everybody? That's hoe stuff." I'm like, "Well, mom, we're not going to judge how people get their living, first of all. Second of all, that's not what I'm doing. I don't desire to have sex with my subs because ultimately I desire to be in a partnership with an alpha man." So that isn't going to happen. But I think that's kind of one of the biggest, that a lot of folks kind of just thinks that just because you're stripping or you're a cam girl, you're a phone sex operator, that you're heavily promiscuous. Not to say that that's a problem, because listen, we enjoy ... but I think society ...
Erica: We want good, healthy sex.
Mistress Domonique: Listen, I think that society just kind of makes it a bad thing when in reality everybody thinks about sex a lot. I think one of those myths ... that's probably the biggest. Every other myth, when I hear it, I usually debunk it right there just because I don't have time for it to be circulated.
Mistress Domonique: Yeah.
Kenrya: Well, you were saying earlier about how you use your IG account to kind of verify, so folks can see you're a real person. Can you tell us what it is so folks can find you online?
Mistress Domonique: Sure. So, you may see me circulating through a Tinder or Bumble in your city, or you may not, but my Instagram as well as my Twitter is TheeSweetDomo and that's spelled T-H-E-E sweet Domo. You can find that on Instagram as well as Twitter. On FetLife, you can find me as Thee Sweet Domo or Domonique Sweets.
Kenrya: All righty. Thank you so much.
Mistress Domonique: My pleasure.
Kenrya: That wraps up this week's episode. It was so good to talk to you.
Mistress Domonique: Oh, it was so great chatting with you all and you all having me on here. I really enjoyed myself and this talk.
Erica: Thanks. It's always fun.
Mistress Domonique: Thank you.
Kenrya: Hey everybody, thank you for tuning in and we'll be back next week.
Erica: This episode was produced by us, Erica and Kenrya, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme song is from Brazy. We want to hear from y'all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions you want us to answer to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast app, follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast, and find links to our books, transcripts, guest information, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcasts.com. Remember, The Turn On is now part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more shows you'll love at Frolic.media/podcast. Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you soon. Holla.
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In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read from Nicole Falls' "F*ck and Fall in Love: A Novella" and talk about unexpected relationship milestones and having sex on camera.
The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.
Kenrya: Come here, get off.
Erica: So welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On.
Kenrya: That was fancy.
Erica: Yeah, I'm trying to be fancy. Okay, so this week we are reading a story called “F*ck and Fall in Love,” which was written by Nicole Falls and published in 2019. So sit back, relax, get your wine, your weed, whatever you need and enjoy.
Kenrya: “F*ck and Fall in Love,” by Nicole Falls. "So no judgment, yeah?" "Baby, I just told you about my creampie obsession." "Who am I to judge anything you've got to share? Unless you into some real depraved shit like scat. Wait, you ain't into…," he trailed of. "Ugh God, no Nigel," I shrieked, slapping him across the chest. "Why would you think?" "Hey, this is still pretty new sweetheart. Who knows what skeletons you hide in your freak chifforobe." "Did you just say chifforobe? Stay focused J baby, what are your categories?" I motioned for him to hand over the iPad.
Kenrya: "Well, first of all I'm super mad that I've been suffering through so much pink penis only to discover that there's a whole treasure trove of Black on Black goodness that I don't have to filter to high heaven to find something to get me off. Wow, a whole new world opened up before my eyes.” "Well, actually it's an aggregator, so a lot of the videos you know and love are probably over on TV as well." "Okay, so I really don't have categories as much as pointed search times. I have amassed a few favorites that I fall back on." "You're procrastinating with all this talking, baby. Just pull up a flick," Nigel muttered into my neck before pressing a series of lingering kisses there. "Or we could just go make one ourselves," I said, angling my neck so that he had better access.
Kenrya: He stopped suddenly, pulling back and looking at me. "Word?" I bit my lower lip, nodding. It was something I had been thinking about for a while actually. Nigel had a way of making me feel like I was the hottest bitch in the world whenever he laid hands on me because I know how good I felt when we were being intimate. I wanted to see if I looked as good as I felt too. "Oh, brazen Jane is back in the building, ladies and gentlemen, " Nigel crowed. "Oh my gosh, shut up before I change my mind." "Too late sweetheart," he says, snatching me up from the couch and throwing me over his shoulder. I dropped the iPad on the couch so I could hold onto him, and he moved us through his apartment to his bedroom, located in the lofted area of his apartment.
Kenrya: His place was gorgeous, airy and spacious in an old building converted from a factory to lofts. Tons of exposed brick and metal accents all over the place as the integrity of the original structure was left almost completely unmolested upon conversion. When we made it to his bed and he laid me out, I looked over to see his camera already poised on a tripod on his dresser. "You uh clairvoyant or something?" I giggled, nodding toward the camera. Nigel chuckled. "You know what they say. Stay ready so you don't got to get ready." "Seriously?" I asked, sitting up from my previously reclined position. Nigel leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "No, crazy girl. I was recording some footage of this system I'm building over there for my YouTube channel." "Mm-hmm. Whatever you say. I've got my eye on you," I laughed.
Kenrya: "Got your eye on me, but you the one over here with your press record now that you're filming on your video phone energy." "Did you just quote a Beyonce song? Stop trying to stall and get naked girl." I laughed, shaking my head. "You want me naked, you've got to take these clothes off me." Clothes was an overstatement as I was clad in what had become sort of my uniform while at Nigel's place. One of his t-shirts with nothing underneath, and a pair of his socks pulled damn near to my thighs because he kept his place freezing cold. "That ain't no problem at all," Nigel said, a sly smirk curve in his mouth. "Let me just...." He moved the camera from his perch on his dresser to the other side of the room onto his desk where he would have a panoramic view of his bed.
Kenrya: He adjusted a few settings, all the while teasing me about how he was going to tear my ass up so it'll look good on playback. I playfully flirted back, trying to fight through the nerves that appeared now that this wasn't just an abstract idea but was actually happening. When he finally had the camera situated to his liking, he dropped the ball shorts he was wearing and strolled over to the bed, beautifully nude. Nigel was a big dude, built like a former defensive end, tall and super thick, but not overly muscular. As the scant sunlight streamed through his blinds, illuminating his body as he strolled over to me, I sent a quick prayer of thanks for this physical manifestation of a dream I didn't even know I wanted coming true.
Kenrya: Those previous nerves dissipated as soon as he was in arms reach. I crawled to the end of the bed to meet him and before he could place a limb on the bed to join me, my mouth was on him, taking his dick as far down my throat as it could go. "Goddamn, Jane," Nigel moaned. I pulled back slowly, lightly grazing his shaft with my teeth as I withdrew him from my mouth. Looking directly into his eyes, I swirled the tip of my tongue around the head of his dick slowly before deep throating him again and going to work. He soon caught the rhythm of my bobs, thrusting his hips forward in time with the movement of my mouth.
Kenrya: My hands were braced around his thighs and I could feel the muscles tightening, signaling he was close to release, when he suddenly yanked me off of his dick by my hair, grumbling something about not going out like a sucker on film. In what seemed like a nanosecond, he stripped me completely bare and buried his face between my legs, his tongue moving like he was seeking buried treasure in my pussy. I tried moving out of his grasp. The prolonged flickering of his tongue against my pearl sparking too much pleasure for me to bear. But that only caused him to go harder. "Don't run from it," he crooned, removing his mouth from my pussy and replacing it with his fingers.
Kenrya: "You asked for this, didn't you." He didn't give me a change to answer. Pressing his mouth to mine, swallowing any words of rebuttal would have tried to form. His fingers working back up to fever pitch, moving in and out of my slit at a maddeningly slow pace as his thumb circled my clit barely there swipes. "Ssss," I hissed when he finally disconnected our mouths to catch a breath. "What's that, baby?” he asked, increasing the speed of his pistoning fingers. My mouth hung open, but no sound admitted as I gasped at the sensation of his fingers inside of my core, driving me out of my mind.
Kenrya: He added a third finger and stroked slightly deeper, which was all I needed to completely send me over the edge. I came with a sharp cry, arching from the bed like I had been jolted by electricity. My reaching the summit didn't phase Nigel even one bit as he kept on stroking me with his fingers, setting off after shocks before urging me up onto my knees. A firm hand on my upper back guided me to lower myself to my elbows while keeping my ass lifted up in the air. "Don't move," Nigel growled. The gruffness in his tone incited another round of shivers to pass through my body.
Kenrya: After a few moments of no movement from Nigel, I chanced to look back and was met with a firm smack to my ass. The dual sensations of pleasure and pain drew a low groan from me as I thrust my ass backward even further, hoping that this movement brought forth another one of those deliciously painful smacks. Nigel chuckled instead. "Oh, that's your shit, huh? Noted," he said, urging me back into the position he'd initially put me in and quickly sliding his dick deep inside of me. He dicked me down ferociously, unrepentantly driving into me with breath robbing strokes at a breakneck speed.
Kenrya: Each thrust sent his balls flying upwards slapping against my clit, adding to the already overwhelming onslaught of pleasure I was experiencing. Soon, my arms gave out, but that didn't deter Nigel as his grip on my hips tightened and he slowed the measure of his strokes. Something about this coupling felt different, more intense, more intimate. Nigel switched our positions once again, without withdrawing from deep within me. As he guided me to lay on my left side and hooked an arm under my right thigh, I looked down greedily enjoying the view of his dick sliding in and out of the mess of wetness between my thighs.
Kenrya: It was at this point that I realized why it felt so different was because he hadn't put on a condom, but I was too far gone to even give a damn at this point. The change in position gave me a bit of leverage as I contracted around him with each stroke, making his withdrawal from my body more arduous each time as he dove back in. Those contractions soon drove him to the brink and he whispered in my ear on a guttural groan that he was about to come. I whispered back to him words I hadn't ever uttered to a man. "I want to feel you come inside me," I moaned, tightening my pelvic muscles once again. The combination of those words and that action were the magic that unlocked his orgasm. With one last powerful thrust into my core, Nigel came inside of me with a ragged groan, setting off another orgasm for me.
Kenrya: As I quiver my way through release, Nigel released the hold he had on my leg but stayed inside of me. Pressing a kiss to my shoulder blade that sent a shiver through me, Nigel whispered in my ear, "I cannot wait to watch this back, babe. We might win an AVN for this shit." I couldn't help but giggle at his silly ass. "Something is wrong with you." "Or," he started, pressing another of those gentle kisses to my shoulder before sliding out of me, "Is everything right, baby?"
Erica: Okay so welcome back. That was a good little romp, as Killa would say.
Kenrya: Yes, yes it was.
Erica: So let me give you a little synopsis on the story. So the story starts with Jane, and she works... I want to say in California or something. She's like west coasting. Yeah, mark buster.
Kenrya: Here we go.
Erica: Sorry, I always... So Jane lives and work in the west coast, but ended up on a project that has her going to New York quarterly. Her first trip to New York, she's staying at a hotel. She initially wasn't going to stay... You know how you travel and you make it a, let's turn this travel trip into a little weekend. That's what she did. So initially she wasn't going to. She ended up doing that. While at her hotel, she kind of meets people... Not meets... Yeah, so she meets people. So she meets the bartender, runs into the bouncer, that kind of thing. So this story is quarterly where she's constantly coming back to New York every quarter.
Kenrya: Which is a really cute premise. I like that.
Kenrya: It's a novella, which is dope.
Erica: Yes, we love a good novella because it gets you the story, in and out, good and quick. So Jane is at the hotel and she meets Nigel, who's a bouncer. Initially, it was just a, “Ooh hey, you kind of cute. Come down to my room.” But then it turns into something more, dot, dot, dot. The scene that we picked was the scene of them discussing their porn categories.
Erica: And deciding to make their own movie.
Kenrya: I think this is their third quarter.
Erica: Yeah, this is their third quarter. First quarter is in the hotel, second quarter is hotel. Hey, let's turn this into something more. Third quarter is, okay, this is something more. We're just going to lock it down. Before we get into the porn categories and the porn itself, you know what I liked about this story?
Erica: So a lot of times, you meet niggas that are really got dope dick, but all this nigga do is a bouncer and he smokes weed Monday through Thursday.
Erica: Yeah, the thot niggas. But this story had a cute little work around. Yes, he's like a friend of the owner of the hotel and they meet.
Kenrya: Yes, he's doing this as a favor.
Erica: Yeah. It's so much more than just a little thot. He actually had a lot going on. Hence, how he was able to record so quickly. One of his little side gigs is doing YouTube videos about-
Erica:... something heavy.
Erica: Okay, so what stood out the most to me about this story initially, well about this scene, was how they were talking about porn categories.
Kenrya: Yeah, because even before the part that we read, he's showing his porn categories. They're on a Black porn site, and she's memorized that there's a spot with all this non pink dick, which I thought was really funny because ugh, gross.
Erica: Yeah. Did I ask you this? Have you ever shared your porn categories with your partners?
Kenrya: I have, only with my current partner. I have never felt safe enough to do that.
Erica: I feel like porn categories is the equivalent of asking white people who did you vote for.
Erica: It's so... because part of what makes porn and... At least for me, part of what makes porn and sex exciting is sometimes it's dirty. So you're going to... The things that I like in my porn are not things that I would normally like as-
Kenrya: Right, it's not what you want to do.
Erica: I'm too ethical. I'm too committed. I'm too ethical. I don't want to be called this. But something about getting choked and being called a stanky bitch... well, not a stanky bitch.
Kenrya: I like that.
Erica: You know, it makes it that much greater. So to open up about, hey I like this-
Kenrya: That's a big deal. That's some intimacy.
Kenrya: Yeah, which is why I hope you're not about to ask me about my categories on this show.
Erica: Oh my God, no. Not at all, because then I'd have to share.
Erica: I was watching-
Kenrya: That private.
Erica: In was on Twitter and this woman was saying how some guy was like, "Oh, you think your girlfriend is the sweetest, but if you really saw her porn search categories, you'd freak out." So then this woman replied and she said... She was sharing her laptop with her boyfriend or something and opened it up, and it was like a gay gang bang cumdump or something.
Kenrya: On his computer or on hers?
Erica: On his computer.
Kenrya: Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that.
Erica: She was just like, well. But it is totally one of those things where that is my deepest darkest.
Kenrya: Yeah, you like what you like.
Erica: Because the thing is there are categories, and the categories that I do go to are not so specific where there's nothing there. There's three people that do it because it's so-
Erica: Yeah. It's not that. It's not that curated, however it just still feels very... because I feel like also your categories probably give you a glimpse of the psyche of the person that they're that.
Kenrya: I mean, maybe.
Erica: Because it's kind of like, if I am someone that likes restraints, I'll keep it vanilla because it gets kind of dark. But if I'm someone that likes restraints, it probably says a little bit more about how being confined turns me on and that kind of thing. So I think about the categories that I tend to go to. To me, again, a lot of those categories are like, ooh, this is so dirty and taboo. Yeah, girl.
Kenrya: Have you ever shared them with anyone?
Erica: One partner, and that's because we have... this is the one partner that I feel like I have the freest sex with, because it's very, very non-judgmental.
Kenrya: I was about to say, you felt like you wouldn't be judged because of the relationship that y'all have.
Erica: Yeah, we both definitely have a... I think that's why I enjoy the sex with this person so much, because it is no judgment, what we going to do to have fun and enjoy one another.
Kenrya: That's dope. That's how it should be, but I can definitely say that I haven't had that before now for sure, which is what you need to share that shit.
Erica: Yeah. I think I have. Interestingly enough, they have never been in relationships. They have just been in fuck buddies.
Kenrya: Well, is part of that because you care a little bit less about what they thought about you because you were just fucking?
Erica: Yeah. Shit, I've got to get over that because I would like to have that in a relationship. But yeah, I think it's... I think my current partner that I... Let me not let this nigga get a big head. I don't think he's listening. But the current partner that I have, a really good healthy... we do it all. Actually, two partners. I do have two partners right now that it's like healthy, good, do it all. Both of which I wouldn't mind having a relationship with, but I also think that a committed long-term relationship with. But I think also a lot of it is because I'm a lot healthier, so I went into picking fuck buddies that, if turned into something, they would still be healthy relationships.
Kenrya: Makes sense.
Erica: Yeah, so I share with them... I would have no problem sharing with them my categories and be like, "Hey, let me turn you onto something."
Kenrya: See, I'm more like Jane. It's less categories and more pointed search terms.
Erica: I'm looking for this right now.
Kenrya: Yeah, because categories are so broad and I really have to filter out white people.
Erica: So question. We started this... The origin story for this podcast was for us to find something written to flick the bean. Do you... So are you an 80/20 kind of person? What's your written versus...?
Kenrya: Probably 70/30 written, maybe more. I really do prefer to read it. I like creating the pictures in my head.
Kenrya: Because they can do exactly what I want them to do. Well, again, I don't read... If it's white people, I don't read it. I'm not interested.
Erica: You can tell if a white person is writing about a Black person.
Kenrya: Yeah, because even if you're reading it, they're talking about fucking pink nipple. I don't know why their nipple is pink. I don't fucking know.
Erica: I've found that, when white people write about Black bodies, it's more a he's a tall Black guy, as opposed to Black person writing about Black bodies.
Kenrya: There's no nuance.
Erica: They're giving you all the... I want to know the shade. Is it a dark raspberry? Is it a purple? That kind of thing.
Kenrya: Yeah. I have zero desire to read white people writing about Black bodies or white people writing about white bodies. That's not for me. So the stuff that we do on the show, those are things that I use in my personal life. Also, way trashier stuff that may not always... Because we read a lot of books before we decide what gets on the show. Sometimes we get halfway through and something will happen. We'll be like, fuck. Can't use this on the show, but I can get off on this scene that happened before this trash scene.
Erica: We're like, well it was good for something.
Kenrya: Yeah. So I really do prefer to read over to watch. Plus, I don't know, the watching for me, it starts to get repetitive or just when they're really getting into a particular position, now this nigga want to do something else and now they've got to move. You know. I'm just like, all right, that's fine.
Erica: Yeah, I definitely before this started was like 100% visual kind of gal, but doing this project I have become a little bit more written. I think I'm more of an 80/20 kind of gal now. It usually comes just with me doing the work of the podcast and trying to find a book.
Kenrya: You were like, mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Well, I'm here. Might as well.
Kenrya: Where's your room at.
Erica: Might as well get started. Yeah, I definitely have... I'm becoming definitely not a 70/30 gal yet, but I am making my way towards using the written form of eroticism, erotic works.
Erica: Welcome. There are refreshments in the back.
Kenrya: It's fun. I like creating pictures in my head. Did you read... Remember on Twitter. I was a few weeks ago. Shit, time is a concept of the construct at this point.
Kenrya: I don't know how long ago it was where people were talking about how there are people who can't create images in their heads. Did you see that?
Kenrya: Yeah, so apparently for me, if I think about something, I can see it. Literally, right now I'm thinking about a tree with a shining red apple, and that apple is candied and it’s got... I can see it. But there are people who, when they read or hear words, they don't see a picture of them in their minds.
Kenrya: Yeah. I forget what it's called.
Erica: That would make doing this very difficult.
Kenrya: Exactly, because they wouldn't-
Erica: It's literally just words coming in and out of your brain.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Ooh, just that itself makes me think, dig a little deeper in my reading. For example, remember we were... In doing work for the podcast and reading and learning about some of the... trying to find a source guest for the show. You had me reading a very, very, very dense work.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Erica: Oh my God, I felt like I was in college again trying to read this essay. That's what I felt. I felt like I was literally just reading words on a sheet of paper.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: I had to read it two, three times. I'd read it, and then they'd be words on a paper. Then I'd read it again and they'd come together a little bit. Then I'd read it again and be like, "Oh, I got the concept."
Erica: It has definitely been a stretch on some of these, more on the interview side of it just trying to make sure that we know.
Kenrya: The ins and outs of the folk's work.
Erica: Exactly. But yeah, I could not imagine there's an apple on a tree and not being able to see an apple.
Kenrya: See it in your head. I just looked it up. Apparently it's called aphantasia. I'm probably mispronouncing it, but it's spelled A-P-H-A-N-T-A-S-I-A. It says, in this condition, people are unable to visualize mental images.
Erica: Man, that sucks.
Kenrya: Yeah. Wow, that is... If this is you... If you are listening and you are one of those people, hit us up. It would be really interesting to talk to you about-
Erica: Not just sex, but just if someone's talking about good macaroni and cheese.
Kenrya: Yes, but I'm also interested in how it impacts their sex. One of the things that I have found myself doing in the past... I don't actually have to do it so much anymore, but-
Erica: Sex is bad and calling back?
Erica: You got to go through the Rolodex.
Kenrya: Exactly. I'd be interested in how this impacts the ways that they get off.
Kenrya: I think that's dope. We all-
Erica: We all have a workaround.
Kenrya:... approach the world in different... exactly.
Erica: How's your work around? Yeah, I know. Okay. Aphantasia-matics, hit us up.
Kenrya: Yeah, matics.
Erica: Okay, so we've talked about this. We've touched around it. I know you have your concerns about being recorded and your pictures and all of that.
Kenrya: Yeah, don't love it.
Erica: But have you ever-
Erica: So we have the... I did pictures and got them, not recorded, got them printed.
Kenrya: Oh yeah, I don't think we've aired that yet, but yeah.
Kenrya: That happened. Yeah, with an ex, we recorded a video. That was actually at a pretty good angle. It looked good, which I was surprised at, because I think part of why the video thing freaks me out is that I don't want to feel like this looks good and then see it on camera and then nitpick my body or any of the things that I'm seeing that honestly don't even occur to me when I'm in the middle of sex, because you can't tell me I'm not the baddest bitch that there ever was when I'm in the middle.
Erica: That ever did it.
Kenrya: Exactly. But something about the... A video is almost like a fucking debrief.
Erica: Yeah, you're like, ooh my gut do that? I shake that way?
Kenrya: Exactly. I'm not sure if I want to see that. But I remember that video. I don't have it anymore. I had it saved in a vault, and then when I switched my phone, I lost the vault, and I was the only person who had it saved because we shot it on my phone and saved it in my vault.
Kenrya: But I remember that whatever angle we figured out how to shoot if from actually looked really good. But something that was my one time. I would watch it when I masturbated sometimes because, yeah, why not.
Erica: See, I like amateur porn. That's one of my categories. So I am less about if I look good and just like, ooh bitch, you really having a good ass time.
Erica: But yeah, I agree. I remember the first time I recorded myself. It was definitely on some "Like, really?" It ain't feel like this. It look this way, but it don't feel this way.
Erica: Even with that said, I really enjoy recording myself.
Kenrya: What do you like about it?
Erica: I feel like there's power and just like, this is a bad bitch doing bad bitch things. But yeah, I think the power and the prowess is what I enjoy about it. Look at that bitch. She know her way around a dick.
Kenrya: So do you always watch them back?
Erica: Not always. Sometimes it's just to be doing it, or like, ooh pull out your phone and them niggas get like, whoa. You're just like, "Pull out my phone." But also, to me... Again, if somebody sent me an email saying we got a sex tape on you, I'd be like, well-
Kenrya: So do I bitch.
Erica: Let me release mine first.
Erica: You know I got the primo content.
Kenrya: Yeah, same actually. We all have sex. It's not that big a deal.
Erica: Exactly. So yeah, I definitely have no problem busting it open on camera. Not to say that I want my family and friends to see it, but if they did it'd be like, all right, now you going to see me bust it open on camera.
Kenrya: When you do watch them back, do you watch them back with your partners?
Erica: Sometimes. Sometimes it's just so that I can reminisce and flick the bean a little bit more. I've been using flick the bean a lot lately. But yeah, sometimes it's just to masturbate to, but sometimes it is to be like, whoa, that was a wild night. Some of my partners have old film, old video. They'll send it to me and be like, "Girl, remember this night?" We'll be reminiscing like, whoa wild times, this was great.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: So yeah, but I definitely have no problem doing it. I think also because our origin stories were very different. I feel like your first time into the amateur market was a little more traumatic.
Kenrya: Oh yeah.
Erica: Where mine was more like powerful. So I think that that's kind of imprinted itself on me and you and how we approach ourselves.
Kenrya: Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. Yeah. I will say it's not something that I am afraid of, at least not in terms of people violating my trust or anything at this point. One, because obviously I'm with somebody who I trust.
Erica: Yeah, I was about to say it's probably because you're also in a very healthy relationship.
Kenrya: Yeah, and also just a little bit less giving a fuck. In terms of, like you said, if something were to get out, I talk about how I'm a whole ass woman. Well-
Erica: Well, there's a whole ass that likes to do things.
Kenrya: Yeah. Again, it would be more like my kids got to deal with that or... I don't want my daddy to see, more so than I would be ashamed or whatever the fuck.
Erica: Yeah. See the thing about my kid has to deal with that would assume that my shit made a splash.
Erica: It's a drop in a bucket to be quite honest. It's not like somebody going to be approaching my kid on the street and be like, "Your momma got a sex tape." Because if-
Kenrya: But you know my child Googles me from time to time.
Erica: Oh Lord, sweet Jesus.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). The first time she did it, she was at school. Came to pick her up and she was like, "Momma, did you know you're all over Google?"
Erica: Oh God.
Kenrya: Then she starts showing me what she found and she's been pulling photos from old articles and making them her wallpaper on her Chromebook.
Erica: Oh my gosh.
Kenrya: This is what happens when you give kids technology.
Erica: Oh my gosh, okay.
Kenrya: She's only eight.
Erica: Oh my gosh. Now that is one thing.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Erica: Okay, I didn't think about it in that regard.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). She thinks it's cool that I'm on Google, meanwhile my father thinks it's creepy.
Erica: Because your daddy is old and Black.
Erica: He thinks the-
Kenrya: He hates it.
Erica: He thinks that the mailman is going to sell your address to the people.
Kenrya: He's very concerned.
Erica: Okay, so now that we're talking about porn, I think it's important for us to kind of touch on the problems around it, some of the issues that come with it. I know that there's lots of... I've seen lots of articles and lots of talk about how Porn Hub and some of the other sites are a little less... because they've sourced from anybody, anybody can post anything, there's an issue of just-
Kenrya: Revenge porn.
Erica: Revenge porn, nonconsensual porn going up, and that kind of thing. Do you think about that when consuming your porn?
Kenrya: I didn't honestly until we were talking on a show earlier this season where you were saying that you've started buying your porn directly from content creators.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Kenrya: Because you were worried about that, which I thought was really interesting and smart and thoughtful.
Erica: Yeah. I think I might have mentioned it then, but I was listening to content creators talk about how essentially stealing porn from content creators is a form of just-
Kenrya: It's literally theft.
Erica: Yeah, it's theft. This is stuff that they put out for paying people, and here you are stealing it. I think that going directly to content creators for your porn puts a lot more control back in what you're consuming. I was reading... I've been reading a lot about how some of the sites, like Only Fans and My Vids, one, they take a cut off the top of what's being creative, but two, they do things like... They've done things like... So with Only Fans, you have an account and you have subscribers. Then the money gets banked, and then you have to cash out.
Erica: We talked about this. Actually we talk about this in the next episode with Mistress Dominique, how sometimes there's backlash, particularly to Black and brown content creators. So I've heard stories about girls having $15,000 in their account and then all of the sudden there's a glitch and, for whatever reason, they can't get their money out.
Kenrya: Cost of set stuff really contributes so that too where you have these other platforms that are denying people access to their money.
Erica: Yes. So something else that I've learned about is, if you have a content creator that you really like, just hit them up. Most content creators, most sex workers, they are all over Twitter. Instagram is a little more difficult to do your thing on, but most of them are on Twitter. I laugh because I can never get on my Twitter account on Tuesdays, because it's Titty Tuesdays and I follow someone that does an amazing job.
Kenrya: Of retweeting other people, right?
Erica: Of retweeting everybody. So I open up my phone on Tuesdays and it's literally like titties.
Erica: But reach out to your favorite content creator and say, hey, can you do a video for me?
Kenrya: Or support their Patreon, which a lot of times will unlock videos that you can't get anywhere else and you're paying for them directly as well.
Erica: Exactly. So the Patreon, they have a little more restrictions.
Kenrya: Right, but don't people oftentimes... If you subscribe, then they can send you content via other means. It's just you are a member.
Erica: You're right, you're right.
Kenrya: I think that's... Going back to your original question, I think that's also part of why I don't always do amateur porn.
Kenrya: Because I don't know what it came from.
Erica: Because you don't know where it came from.
Erica: Yeah, you're right, you're right. So yeah, just not saying completely give up on Porn Hub or whatever, but just as you think about and consume your porn, think about how can we be a little bit more ethical in just looking out for the people, because again, sex work is work. We will begin with that.
Kenrya: That's right.
Erica: But sex workers always get the shitty end of the stick.
Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Especially Black ones.
Erica: Especially Black ones.
Kenrya: And especially trans ones.
Erica: Especially trans ones.
Erica: So just something to think about as we go consuming our porn and our delights is ethical and health members and people that stick up for and advocate for sex workers.
Kenrya: That's dope. I have a question for you.
Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative)?
Kenrya: Do you have any tips for shooting videos of yourself or even just pictures?
Erica: So one thing that I've learned when taking photos, oil is your fucking friend. Grease your body up and that shit always look good. Yes, there's always the... Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Get in the right mindset. But girl, a good angle and some body oil will have your ass looking like a fucking pro. Right before my mastectomy, I took so many pictures of my titties. A lot of times, the best ones came out because I just had a bomb angle and some oil. Also, shooting from a low angle. A lot of times I don't have my face in the pictures, so I don't have to worry about my neck giblets, but shooting from a lower angle gives the person that's taking the photo the illusion of them being on their knees.
Erica: Same with shooting from a high angle. So just think about angles and then oil, bitch, oil. Body oil.
Kenrya: Like baby oil?
Erica: I use grape seed oil.
Erica: Well yeah, baby seed.
Kenrya: Baby seed?
Erica: Baby seed oil.
Kenrya: That's another kind of oil.
Erica: But yeah, I use grape seed oil, but baby oil, I just don't keep baby oil around. But yeah, bitch, body oil. Yeah, then also look at stuff for your own inspiration.
Erica: Yeah, get inspiration from other places and be creative with shit. They have face tuner or body tuner if that's what you want. I don't know the app. If that's what you want to do, great, but also hide some shit with an emoji or put a little sparkle filter on it. Whatever makes you feel happy. But also, especially going through breast cancer, I realized that your body can change in an instant. So I also like the idea of just being able to record it.
Kenrya: Oh, like documenting it, yeah.
Erica: Yeah, because we talked about this all the time. I think about how... I look at pictures and, in that picture, I remember myself being in the mid frame, "Oh my God, my body is so horrible right now." But looking back now, I'm like, I would give my left arm for that body.
Kenrya: Yeah. I can't say that I've ever really been happy when my body when I was in it. It's always in hindsight.
Erica: Yeah, so let's try to slow down and appreciate our bodies while we are in it. To me, taking pictures of it... Also, when I'm not feeling great about my body, I like taking pictures because it gives me a, huh, it ain't that bad. Look at that.
Kenrya: Some perspective.
Erica: Yeah. Yep, so that's all I've got, Killa.
Kenrya: That's great. I'm going to use that. You know I sometimes struggle with body image stuff and I feel like maybe I'm going to make a project out of taking pictures of myself since I'm stuck in a house.
Erica: Yes please. Yes please.
Kenrya: I'm going to get some of that... Remember, have you ever used that Neutrogena Rain Bath stuff?
Kenrya: I like that shit. I haven't had it in years and I have no reason to buy it, but now I'm going to buy some.
Erica: Girl. Don't kill yourself trying to get out of the tub.
Kenrya: I know.
Erica: But yeah, even just that, a nice picture with the wet beads and the oil. Yeah, and get creative with clothes around the house, like pair of boy shorts, your man’s boxers, or them drawers that are just a little bit tight.
Kenrya: I know, I steal those.
Erica: Yeah, exactly.
Kenrya: Thank you. That's a great idea.
Erica: You're welcome. You're welcome. So, we've been around the porn berry bush, so this wraps up this week's episode of The Turn On. Thank you for joining us and this is Erica and Killa, two hoes making a clap.
Kenrya: Making a clap.
Erica: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. We want to hear from y'all. Send your book recommendations and all the burning sex and related questions that you want us to answer to TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com, and please subscribe to this show on your favorite podcast app. Follow us on Twitter at The Turn on Pod and Instagram at The Turn On Podcast, and find links to books, transcripts, guest info and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com. And remember, The Turn On Podcast is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more podcasts that you'll love at Frolic.media/podcast. Thanks for joining us and we'll see you soon. Bye.
The Turn On
The Turn On is a podcast for Black people who want to get off. To open their minds. To learn. To be part of a community. To show that we love and fuck too, and it doesn't have to be political or scandalous or dirty. Unless we want it to be.