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SHOW NOTES
​This week, we're revisiting Season 3, Episode 8 of The Turn On. Erica and Kenrya read from Jodie Slaughter's "White Whiskey Bargain" and talk about Black Appalachia, masturbation, vulnerability and why consent is so damn sexy.

Resources:

• Book, "White Whiskey Bargain" by Jodie Slaughter: Bookshop | Amazon
• Author, Jodie Slaughter: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• What's Turning Us On: Egg Toy

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TRANSCRIPT
Erica: Hey y'all!

Kenrya: I didn't know we were doing call and response. Hey!

Erica: You can tell who was off in church. Anyway, okay so-

Kenrya: That's not true.

Erica: Here we are listening to, as we take another walk down memory lane. This week, we are listening to season 3 episode 8.

Kenrya: Family affair.

Erica: Family affair. And this is when we read the book “White Whiskey Bargain.”

Kenrya: Or as you like to call it, what do you be calling this book?

Erica: “White Whiskey Bottom,” “White Whiskey Woman.” I apologize, Jodie. I wasn't even going to do this because I don't want you to feel like I'm disrespecting the title of your story. However, the fucking homie so she's probably sitting at home laughing at the fact that we are fucking up the title.

Kenrya: Fucking it up.

Erica: Long as them checks are written out to the right person.

Kenrya: Right, right. Goddamn it.

Erica: Okay, so yeah. This one was a fun one. Again, the one thing that stood out to me about this fucking story is the pozole. Pozole, pozole.

Kenrya: Pozole, yes. I love pozole.

Erica: I want some. It makes me fart so bad

Kenrya: Oh, I haven't made it in a... Maybe I'll make some next week. Do you like red or green? Did we talk about this on the episode?

Erica: I like red, but I mean I'll try green.

Erica: I make a red and a green. They're both really good.

Erica: All right. I gotta start cooking again. Summer's almost over.

Kenrya: Listen, I was in a grocery store yesterday and my fatigue hit in the middle of the grocery store, and I had to struggle to get home. But before that, I realized that I got to start packing fucking lunch again.

Erica: Oh, yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah

Erica: We don't do that.

Kenrya: Well, you know my kid doesn't eat most-

Erica: Everything.
 
Kenrya: Doesn't eat meat. So I have to send her with lunches and I was like, "Fuck." So I started buying lunch shit. And she was like, "Oh, I ain't seen these." And I'm like, "And you not fin to because you don't go back to school for two weeks. Put that shit back."

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Like, “What is you doing?”

Erica: What is she doing? Anyway-

Kenrya: Exactly. But, so there were two things that stuck out to me in this relationship. I mean, relationship in this episode. One, I laugh a lot and it's loud. It was a lot of that in this episode.

Erica: Yeah.
 
Kenrya: It was funny. And then the other, we talk about our friends a lot and I always wonder, do they know that we be talking about them? I know some of them listen to the show-

Erica: Yeah, some of them will call and be like, "Hey girl."

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: “That was me.” I'm like, "Yeah."

Kenrya: But sometimes I wonder do things go over their heads because we have to be so vague about who we talking about, because-

Erica: I know for a fact that that happened with one person. I'll share it with you once we're offline.

Kenrya: Okay. Yeah, because I'm like, "We talking about y'all niggas a lot on this show."

Erica: A lot, so... All right, y'all. Get your wine. Your weed and whatever you need. That's me scatting. Wait, no.

Kenrya: No, that's-

Erica: I should not use that.

Kenrya: No.

Erica: One, because I use it horribly. Two, it also means other things.

Kenrya: Oh, yeah. Context

Erica: Listen. Enjoy. Let us know your thoughts. Peace out.

Kenrya: Bye.

Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: So welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. Today, we are going to read “White Whiskey Bargain,” which was written in 2019 by Jodie Slaughter. So sit back, relax. Get your wine, your weed, and whatever you need, and enjoy.

[Theme music.]

Kenrya: “White Whiskey Bargain,” by Jodie Slaughter. She was incredible. Too beautiful for words to describe. And even if there had been words, I doubted I'd ever be eloquent enough to put a voice to them. "How do you normally do this?" She asked. "Do you watch porn?" "Sometimes," I said. I hadn't really since I moved into the Hawkins house. I hated how those little earphones felt, and I knew the walls in the house were thin, and didn't want to risk making Hannah feel uncomfortable.

Kenrya: “Lately, my own imagination has been enough.” "Oh?" She smiled and looked at me under those hooded eyes. "What have you been thinking about?" "You," I said, simply. "I think about you." "Tell me." It was technically a demand, but it came from her lips sounding like a plea. My dick was so hard it had pressed upward against my body. I wanted to tuck the head into the waist of my pants when I saw Hannah looking. She blinked slowly, her face masked as she eyed me. So I left it alone, letting my hardness tent my pajama pants.

Kenrya: If we actually did what she suggested downstairs, it wouldn't be in there too long anyway. "I want to hear one of the fantasies you had about me." Her voice was soft and husky. Her request should have been easy. But searching through my head, I came across what must have been a million scenarios I had made up about fucking her. I decided to go with the most recent.

Kenrya: "Last night, it took everything in me to brush my teeth before I want to bed, because I could still taste your pussy, and I didn't want it to go away. I didn't know when I was going to get to have you next. So before I got ready for bed, I decided I wanted to come with you still on my lips." Hannah's fingers were trailing across her chest, the unpainted nails dragging every now and then.

Kenrya: I wanted to lick her collarbones, kiss all over her sweet-smelling neck. "I was thinking about what would have happened in that hotel room in Nashville if we had been ready for all that then." I reached down to adjust myself, squeezing the base of my dick a bit through my pants to try and calm him down. "Can I see you, Javier?" Hannah sat up a little straighter. "Can you take it out?"

Kenrya: The woman probably could have asked me to jump off the roof of her house at that moment, and I would have been inclined to do it. Letting her see my dick was something I was more than happy to oblige her with. I smiled at the soft little moan she let out when I pulled my pants down some and let my cock show. She put her hands on her hips, working her panties down and off her body. Her legs spread more, and I could see her bare to me. Her pussy was swollen, and so wet, and I could see the insides of her thighs shinning.

Kenrya: Hannah reached over into her bedside table and pulled a couple of things out. She tossed something across the bed at me. A small bottle of lube. "That's for you." She handled the other thing with a smile. "This is for me." It was a vibrator, or maybe it was just a dildo. I couldn't fully tell. But it was long, and black, and curved, and I knew immediately that there were very few things in the world I wanted more than to watch her fuck herself with it. "Keep going please." Hannah languidly rubbed the toy against her lips. "I want to hear more about what you would have done to me in that hotel room."

Kenrya: "I meant what I said about you looking fine as hell that night." As I talked, I poured some of the lube into my hand, slicking it up before I wrapped my fingers around my dick. Normally, I just use whatever lotion I had closest to me, sometimes even spit. It felt so incredible that I went silent for a few moments. When I spoke again, my voice was gruff. "You spent our time at the speakeasy all up against me. The way your legs looked in that dress. That pretty dark lipstick you had on. That gorgeous ass rubbing against my dick while we danced. Everything about you had me wired and ready to fuck."

Kenrya: Hannah opened her thighs a little more and pushed the toy inside herself. Her head tilted back as she shuddered at the feeling. I could see goosebumps on the inside of her thighs, and I wanted to run my fingers over them. Instead, I stroked myself a little faster, having no shame about working myself over the way I normally did when I was alone. "If things had been different, you would have fucked me that night?"

Kenrya: She slowly thrust the toy in and out of herself. "I would have tried to consume you, wife. I would have gotten you out of that pretty dress, stripped you down until you were completely bare for me, and then had you sit on my face." She pulled the toy out of her, and it came to life with the press of a button. She rubbed it over her clit, and back and forth down her slit as she stared over at me with dark brown pupils. "And you do have a very rideable face." She seemed to like the idea.

Kenrya: "I would have kept you up there for as long as you could take it." I ran my thumb over the head of my dick. The sensitivity made me breathe a little faster. "Then when you were shaking and soaking from the pleasure of it, I would have fed you my dick." Hannah released a low humming sound. "I've thought about you fucking my face more than a few times. Thought about making you breathless as I worked you over. Thought about you crying out as I took those balls in my mouth."

Kenrya: Her confession had me reaching down to tug at said balls, squeezing them just hard enough to make myself moan. "Where would you have come, Javier?" She was back to fucking herself, her body clutching the vibrating toy as she slid it in and out of her juicy cunt. "In my mouth? On my face?" I shook my head. "Nah, I would have pulled you off me before I came. That face of yours would look beautiful covered in my cum. But I wouldn't want to shoot off so fast. I'd have wanted to get inside you first."

Kenrya: "And how would you have fucked me, Javier?" Every time she said my name like that, all breathy and low, my thoughts scattered for a few seconds. I doubted she knew it, but Hannah was dangerously close to having me wrapped around all 10 of her fingers, toes too if I was being honest. It'd have been unexpected as hell, but not at all unwelcome, just like me finding myself in her bedroom, getting myself off to the sight and sound of her.

Kenrya: "I would have had you on your knees first. Those thighs spread wide, and your back arched. I already know you would have fucked me back just as good as I gave." I was getting close. I could feel the heat rising in my balls as I slammed my hand up and down myself faster. I could see the telltale signs of Hannah too. Her thighs were quivering a little, and the wet sounds her pussy made were just as loud as her little moans and groans.

Kenrya: "I would have watched as that ass bounced off me, digging as deep into you as I could." The warm feeling in my balls rolls into my shaft. My strokes tugging and circling as I imagine my hand was Hannah's hot, wet pussy. "You like it fast or slow, wife?" "Both." She moaned. "Depends on the situation. But I would have wanted you to fuck me fast then." "Fast with my hands on your hips, filling you up over and over while you drip down your thighs and on those white sheets."

Kenrya: Fuck. Hannah was pounding herself. Her ass writhing on the bed as she used one hand to thrust, and another to rub her clit. "You want to see something, Javier? See what I would have done all over your dick if you fucked me in that hotel room?" "Show me, baby." I couldn't take my eyes off the space between her thighs. "Show me how you would have cum all over my dick." She only got three more thrusts in and out before she was off.

Kenrya: The vibrator was forced out of her and lightly thrown on the bed next to her as her orgasm made her arch off the bed. She gushed, literally. Splashes of a clear liquid running from her swollen pussy. There was a lot of it landing all over her thighs, and on the towel below her. Hannah was silent as she came. But just when I thought she was done, she stuck a couple fingers back into herself, then pulled them out, smacking her clit as more came.

Kenrya: The moan that left me was in response to her orgasm just as much as it was to my own. My own cum spilled fast, running all over my fist and my stomach. The force even leaving a bit on my chest. I was left breathing hard, my body going slightly numb as my dick still puffed up, even after I had finished spilling over. "Fuck, that was sexy." Hannah breathed. Her legs still spread wide as she lay on the bed.

Kenrya: "I think I'm going to be obsessed with watching you cum now." "You?" I asked, my eyes wide. "Are you kidding me? I had no idea you could squirt. Now I'm going to want to see that shit all the time." "It takes some special technique to learn how to make me do it." She chuckled. "I'll learn whatever the hell I need to in order to make you do that on my face as often as possible." I was dead serious. "I'll teach you."

Kenrya: She sat up, and I could see the sexy old of her stomach through her tank top. I stood, went around to the side of the bed she was on, and leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. My dick was still half hard against my thigh as I kissed her. The feeling of her hot mouth and soft tongue against mine making my spine tingle. "Let's go clean up." I said softly against her mouth, before helping her up. We gathered her wet towel, and threw it in the hamper in the bathroom before washing ourselves up.

Erica: So welcome back. That was “White Whiskey Bargain” by Jodie Slaughter. And a little background on this book. It is set in Black Appalachia. So I think it's Kentucky, or something like that. And there are two main characters. One is Hannah Hawkins, who is the matriarch of this huge ... Distilling. Huge moonshine family that's running the moonshine in her county. And then there's another family, the Mezas, which is a competing family, or whatever. And they, for years, have went back and forth with rivalries, and who's controlling the game, and that kind of thing. But the story opens with the two families realizing that there's another bigger, bigger family trying to-

Kenrya: Muscle in.

Erica: Yeah, muscle in, in the city. So classic romance trope. They decide we're going to ... These two families are going to team up. And how are they going to team up? The way that they formally do back in olden times, marriage. So Hannah, who's the top dog in the Hawkins family decided to marry-

Kenrya: Javier.

Erica: Javier. Who is the son of the other competing family, right.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So they meet, marry, hijinks ensue. Dot, dot, dot.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Was that it?

Kenrya: Yeah, that's good. And that's not really giving anything away, because all of that happens in the first chapter.

Erica: Yes. But I really like this. I mean, we always do books that we like. I mean, of course.

Kenrya: I was about to say, you didn't think you was going to like it?

Erica: Not that I didn't think I was going to like it. But I definitely didn't think that I was going to be into it as much as I was.

Kenrya: Is it because of the setting, or ...

Erica: Yeah, I think I was just like [inaudible 00:13:55]. This'll be a read. I mean ...

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.

Erica: But one, Jodie is an amazing writer. It just felt good to read the words. It was one of those books where it didn't feel like a chore to read. But also it was really interesting. It was super vivid about explaining the different distilleries, and all of that. I definitely wonder about her process in finding ... investigating, and setting the backdrop of this. So when we have her on, we definitely have to ask her those questions.

Erica: But also, what I loved was that it was clear that Hannah ran the show. It was clear that her mother was a woman that knew her shit, and ran the show. But it wasn't one of those after school specially matriarchies. Where you're like, "Oh, I'm a matriarch. I'm going to sit on the porch and tell you what's going to happen in my life." [inaudible 00:14:59] that Cicely Tyson scene at “Madea's Family Reunion.”

Kenrya: I've never seen that.

Erica: I don't know if it's “Madea's Family Reunion.” But it's definitely the matriarchs of the family. So it was just ... You could tell it was written as if this was the way of life.

Kenrya: Yeah, it was a matrilineal, that was the way that their family ran everything. And it wasn't like, oh, this is some big deal that the daughter is taking over, that is the order of things.

Erica: Yup. Yup.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: And even with Javier's family, Javier's ... It was clear in the book that he was like, "I enjoy making moonshine. I like adding cotton candy to the mix, or juniper beads." Whatever it is. But it was very clear that he was on some, "You can handle this shit. I am going to do what I like." And again, that's one of those things that I love seeing in relationships, where it's not a-

Kenrya: Power struggle.

Erica: Yeah. It was just, "We fall into our lanes, and it works." So I loved that about the book. Also, her mother, Hannah's mother, although she wasn't in the book, was a very large figure in the book. And it was dope. What were you going to say?

Kenrya: No, I was just saying mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Yeah. And it was dope, because even through that, she was still a person that was flawed, and all of that. I was going to say a specific ... I was going to get into specifics, but it might ... Not that it'll be a spoiler, but it'll just be getting in too much about the book. We want you to-

Kenrya: She wasn't deified. She was treated as a real person who had flaws, who sometimes knew what she was doing, sometimes made decisions that weren't necessarily the best, but did what she had to do for her family, and the family business.

Erica: Yeah. And even with those flaws, again, it was like life. It wasn't this, "Oh my God." Stares into camera, "Mama." It was just, this was some shit she did that served her and the family at the time. Now we got to move differently. So I really loved, loved, loved this book. Also, the relationship between Hannah and Javier, they went slow. They moved slow in the realm of like sex. But at the same time-

Kenrya: But they connected emotionally.

Erica: Yeah. I was about to say, but at the same time, were intimate. Very intimate. And the scene that you read was one of the first times ... It wasn't their first foray into something sexual, but this was definitely one of their first big experiences, which I thought was hot as hell.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: When I read that scene, I was like, "Oh."

Kenrya: Well, it was so incredibly vulnerable. Showing the way that you get yourself off to somebody who you haven't actually even had sex with at this point.

Erica: Yeah. And then also just being laid out on the bed with your ...

Kenrya: Yeah, spread eagle. Like, "All right."

Erica: Exactly. That takes a lot. But again, I think it was beautiful. And also, we've talked about this, we've had our soap boxes about how we need to look at sex as more than just-

Kenrya: Penetration.

Erica: Dick and puss. All the different ways.

Kenrya: Or any other thing that penetrates something else.

Erica: Yeah, exactly.

Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah.

Erica: And it's more than just that. And I love that they were able to mutually satisfy one another by doing that.

Kenrya: Just by talking shit, and watching each other, and ...

Erica: It was sexy.

Kenrya: It really, really was. I was definitely sitting here reading like, "Oh, okay."

Erica: I'll have to try that. But I find ... Oh, and they use lube.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Let's normalize lube.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Stop making it seem like people only use lube when there's something wrong with them.

Erica: Exactly. I was-

Kenrya: I use lube every time I have sex. It makes it better.

Erica: And I was like, "Hey, let's get some lube." He was like, "Nah." And I was like ... I mean, he didn't spit. But it's just like, "We're going to need some lube."

Kenrya: Yeah, it's right here. It's okay. Okay, it takes two extra seconds for me to get up and get it, or for you to get up and get it. But it makes things better, and also can reduce some of the trauma to your tissues on the back end.

Erica: Yeah, your lady parts. Or not your lady parts, your bit part.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Yeah. But the thing is, I feel like a lot of people miss out on this interesting and sexy foreplay or sex, because we're so focused on getting to ... I'm sorry. We're so focused on getting to the penetration part. And so we rush past all the other stuff. And look, I am not one of those people that's like, "Wait for baby Jesus to come down on pink organza." Not that person at all. But I also feel like sometimes we rush through some of the sensuality that can help.

Erica: We were having a conversation the other day with a group of girlfriends about sex. And one of them was like, "Yeah, I don't really cum from penetrative sex." And we were like, "Oh, no, baby." And it's not because ... I mean, some people just don't cum from penetrative sex. But-

Kenrya: Well, she said she doesn't cum from partner sex.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: Yeah. And that's when we were like ... Because then I was like, "Well, so are you saying you only cum when you masturbate?" And she was like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Okay." Well, it's quite normal for people to not cum from penetrative sex. Well, everything is normal. But you know what I mean. I was like, "But you can be getting yours too while you're having partnered sex." In fact, you should be.

Erica: But I feel like a lot of ... Listening to what was being said there, I think a lot of it was about rushing ... Yeah, rushing to make sure her partner was fine, and not slowing down, and feeling while you're in it.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: And so that's why I loved this scene, because it was like, "Let's slow down and feel, and make our way through this really delightful ... What can be delightful." And like I said, I feel like we miss out on that, because I mean, I've been with people. And it took a while to get to that, because it was like, "Okay, we're going to fuck from the back, fuck from the side. Hung off the stairs, did this, did that, did this." And then we were like, "Oh, okay, now let's find some other ways to do things." So I just really liked that that was how they started things out.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, I can remember a relationship where ... This was a long, long time ago. My partner was trying to get me to masturbate for him. And I just didn't feel comfortable. I tried. But I know my face was all fucked up, because I was feeling nervous about it. In hindsight, I was not comfortable in that relationship, and that's why it was a problem. But I wasn't able to put myself in a place where I was able to let myself be vulnerable enough in both physically and emotionally to be able to do that. And so it was really cool to see that they were able to get there.

Kenrya: I do want to circle back a little bit to where we were just talking about our friend, and make a really fine point on the fact that there's nothing wrong with making sure that your partner gets pleasure. In fact, you should. However, if you are letting your partner ... Yes, that's always the way that she put it. The way that I'm going to put it is that if you are making sure that someone else is getting pleasure to the detriment of getting pleasure yourself, then that is codependency. You need to be making sure that you are also enjoying yourself, or what is the point?

Kenrya: And yes, I understand getting pleasure from giving someone else pleasure. Listen, making somebody cum ... Making my partner cum from sucking his dick basically puts me into fucking orbit. But then there's something else that happens. I need to come too, whether it's in that session or the next one. I'm not sacrificing my own pleasure just to give someone else pleasure. Everybody can have fun.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Those things don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Erica: Yeah. Yeah. That was a good way to put it, because I'm a little more, "Fuck it, you should cum." Yeah. Okay, Javier was such a gentleman. I don't know if it ... No, in this scene, you didn't see all of that. But throughout the book, they made con ... They. Jodie made consent so sexy.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: In the book, there were so many times where he asked, "Can I? Can I? Can I?" And it was just, oh so gorgeous. And again, consent is sexy. And it's possible to be ... It's possible to happen in a very sexy and sensual way. And I think that Javier did it so well. And also, it has a lot ... To me, it has a lot to ... It looks a lot like chivalry. We always say we want a man that's chivalrous, and will hold the doors open and all of that. Well, some people do. I just think we want somebody that's nice.

Kenrya: Right. You want someone who's not an asshole is what you want.

Erica: Yeah, exactly. But I think consent is a part of that. Seeing a guy asking, "Hey, you look absolutely beautiful, can I kiss on you? Can I put my dick in your booty?" Whatever. I think it's just so beautiful to see it written out. And you can tell that there's this tenderness and this care that Javier has toward Hannah. And I was just like, "Oh, Javier, you can have it all. You can do it."

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm re-watching “New Girl.” Man, I love that show. It don't matter, you don't have to love it, because I got another friend who watched it with me the first time. And come to find out, we both started a re-watch within a day of each other. So now we're watching it together again. It just makes me so very happy.

Erica: Shout out to her, we love her.

Kenrya: Yes. It makes me so very happy. And an episode I was watching last night, there was a character who, he was getting these really mixed signals from his boss. And one of the chicks on the show was like, "Stop asking, just grab her and kiss her." And of course, my alarm bells are going off like, "No, nigga. You're getting mixed signals. Do not do that." But so they're in this situation, they're in a parking garage, and he's replaying what old girl told him, and he's like, "Fuck it." And he throws his stuff down all dramatically and runs up to his boss, and grabs her. And then we cut to security watching this shit on camera and coming out, and grabbing his ass. And I was like, "Yes. That is right. Do not just be grabbing bitches." He's like, "It's consensual. It's consensual. She wanted me to do it." And she ain't say shit. And they took him away. And I was like, "Yes, the power of consent. Do not be jumping on motherfuckers."

Erica: Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, and we think that it looks so beautiful and sexy when we're like, "Just kiss her."

Kenrya: No, bruh.

Erica: Because also, I want to hear that you want me, that you want it. And I think that was also what was so beautiful about ... Sexy about this scene that you read. Hannah was like, "What did you want to do? Tell me exactly how you was about to me a nasty MFer around me."

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah, how she kept saying his name like this, "So what were you going to do to me, Javier? Where were you going to cum on me, Javier?" I was like, "Oh, yes, bitch."

Erica: Yeah. Yeah, it was definitely a sexy scene. And I just ... We need more of this without the ... It models what consent and lube, and mutual masturbation, all the other stuff can look like. We had a quickie about our good homie dry humping. And we mentioned that to another person we were interviewing, another guest, and she was like, "Yeah, yeah." Especially in queer relationships.

Kenrya: Yeah. She's like, "Lesbians hump all the time."

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). And I thought about it, I was like, "Ooh, I do like a good hump." Okay. Squirt, squirt.

Kenrya: Oh, yeah, that was a nice surprise.

Erica: Yeah, that was a great surprise.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.

Erica: So I spent a lot of time in quarantine with my good friend, Ambien, also Jerome. And I squirted. I was so proud of myself.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Because at first, I'd been reading about ... Legit like, "I ain't got nothing else to do, let's figure this out." Bitch, it scared the fuck out of me. First, I had to change my sheets. I mean, not that it scared me, but it was one of those like you know how you're popping a Jack in the box, and you're like... And then it pops out, and you're like, "Nigga, I knew the song, I knew when it was going to come out. I heard the click." But I was still like, "Oh, shit." That's how it was. It was great. But I was like, "Oh, shit." And I was like, "This is a lot." It was a lot. Because again, I'm like, "Okay, now I got to clean up my sheets." I had to change everything. It was some pent up energy that happened.

Kenrya: It had to come out.

Erica: So I was very much like, "Ooh. And guys like this?" And not from a, "This is grodie." Standpoint, just a ... The whole bed is wet? Who going to sleep in a wet ... We both got to sleep in the wet spot. It was one of those.

Kenrya: You see, what I liked about this scene in the book was there was none of that.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: He was turned on, she was ... There was no embarrassment. Because I think a lot of times, folks don't necessarily want to share that they can do that, or that part of themselves, because they don't want to be judged in some type of way, or want somebody to say some shit about having to clean up. He just said, "All right, let's go get cleaned up." He picked up her towel, he put that shit away. They went and handled their business. And it wasn't a whole thing, except for the fact that he was excited and wanted to help her do it.

Kenrya: Yeah, I love that that was the way that Jodie wrote it. I know I too, earlier this year, I think it was before the pandemic though, was researching how to make it happen. Because I'm always on the precipice. There's a particular position that we use that puts me so close. And he's always like, "Let it go." And I'm like, "No, nigga. I don't want to clean up." And he's like, "I'll help you clean. Let it go." But it's my ... Honestly, the fact that I don't feel like having to deal with the aftermath of it, which sucks, because I feel like it would be an amazing release.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: But I always stop myself before I can get all the way there.

Erica: Oh, yeah. Now that I've done it, it's like a party trick. Not that I do it as a party trick. But it's definitely like, "Oh, ooh, hey." Because now that it's happened, I'm like ... I was almost there so many times, and I just was afraid to let go.

Kenrya: So how did you, in that time, let go? For real, just be like, "Okay."

Erica: One, I ain't had no dick in a month or something. I'm blanking hard. A month and some days. So it was like, "Ooh, we going just ... Let's see if we can make this happen." And it took ... It's like when you do anal for the first time, you got to just ... You got get your mind right. It was one of those mind over matter, just make it happen things. And then once it happened, then I was able to do it more. Does that make sense?

Kenrya: Yeah, it does.

Erica: So yeah. And it's great. It's great. And I'll certainly be doing it at a boo’s house.

Kenrya: Damn.

Erica: I'm like, "Yeah, well that bed’s a mess. I got to go home to my dry bed."

Kenrya: Time to go.

Erica: Sorry. Have fun. Got to get up for work early in the morning.

Kenrya: That's fucking terrible.

Erica: I know. Terrible. But a bitch going do it anyway. So yeah. I love the fact that she did it, and he found it hot. And yeah, I used to believe that squirt wasn't a thing. I used to be like, "These bitches peeing." Yeah. But-

Kenrya: Yeah, no, it's real.

Erica: Yeah. And maybe it's just because I deal with nasty, freaky ass men, but they're all like, "Squirt on me, squirt on me." I don't think I've ever ... I mean, not that I've squirted on all the guys that I've dealt with. But they nasty. So I think they do, they go for it all.

Kenrya: What's nasty really?

Erica: Right. Let's say that. I'm nasty. (singing).

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: I love you too. Okay, so do you have anything else you want to share about the book, about the scene?

Kenrya: No.

Erica: Again, Jodie did a fucking phenomenal job on painting the backdrop of this being based, built ... I was about to say built. Based in Black Appalachia. So we're interviewing her next week, right?

Kenrya: We are. Yeah.

Erica: Yeah. So I really want to delve deep into why she chose this, how she did that. And as a woman, as a co-woman of someone, you, who are both from the Midwest-

Kenrya: I'm like, "What is a co-woman?" Okay. I was so confused. I was like, "Where is this sentence going?"

Erica: I didn't know until it came out, shit. That's what it's like dating a Gemini. Words tumble out, and we'll see where this goes.

Kenrya: Oh, Lord have mercy.

Erica: Your daughter was driving you crazy about this anyway probably. Anyway, it was great to see a lesser-known area showcased.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: I mean, even now, I feel like we get ... We deal with some Midwestern cities.

Kenrya: Yeah, but I feel like it's usually-

Erica: Chicago.

Kenrya: Chicago. Which is fine, I love Chicago, except for when that hawk comes. But there's a lot of other cities. I've had people ask me, "So is it just cows and cornfields?" And I'm like, "Nigga, I never saw a cornfield until I drove to the East Coast."

Erica: Drove out. Yeah.

Kenrya: What are you talking about? That's not a thing.

Erica: Man, do you remember seeing the East 99 videos from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony?

Kenrya: Yeah, it's a whole ass city in a surrounding metropolitan area.

Erica: Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, so this was a beautiful book. And again, I love the whole, just the matriarchal structure, and how she was a boss bitch without it being like, "I stepped out my platinum Jag with my white suit, and my foxtail collared jacket, and my nameplate that said boss." Even though I completely wrote a scene in my head that I plan on.

Kenrya: I was like, "That was so specific."

Erica: But I'm going to do it. I'm going to be in a foxtail suit.

Kenrya: What's a foxtail suit?

Erica: A foxtail, and you put the ... In the cover ... The thing goes around your neck.

Kenrya: So it's just a suit with a fox around your neck?

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: A foxtail.

Kenrya: I'm allergic to fur.

Erica: Y'all, Killa is allergic to the nice shit. That's the best way to put it.

Erica: Okay, y'all, so what's turning me on this week is this remote control love egg vibrator. And again, y'all know I like a toy that I can play with by myself, or with a partner. And this one is that. So it's a little egg. It's a little rumbly egg, you go, and you put it up your orifice. And don't put it up your bum-bum, because it doesn't [crosstalk 00:37:50].

Kenrya: Yeah, it doesn't have a flange.

Erica: Yeah, it doesn't have a flare So let me not imply that. Put it in your vagina. And it has a remote control. And so I like it because I can be stimulating my clit, and then also have some inside rumbly action. Or if you want to take the fun on the go with your closest friends, hand them the vibrator, and let them go to town on you. This one, I like because also, I mean, you can't do the Bluetooth like we did for the other apps, the other vibrators that we showed you.

Erica: But it's definitely fun if you're out with your partner at dinner or something, and you put it in before dinner, and he can turn it on or off while you're doing it. And I've definitely been at dinner trying to order some food, and been getting buzzed. So I love it. It's cute. It's a fun little toy for a group.

Erica: It reminds me of those ... You're on TikTok now, so welcome. Those TikToks where people, or women, send their partners a nasty text in public. And so they'll be at a cookout, and then their husband looks up, and looks around, and starts gathering the kids to go, "We got to go." It reminds me of that, because you can be minding your business, making sure you get extra guac, or extra sour cream on the side, and then rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble. So I like it. It's not super expensive. We will drop the link in the show notes. So please order it.

Kenrya: Yeah. That sounds pretty dope.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: I guess I just want to highlight that it's for someone who is close by. It can be used for up to five meters away. So it's not one that someone can...

Erica: Don't be clear across the room.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah, yeah, trying to hit you up. It's got to be somebody who you are in close proximity to. But I like that it's tiny, and discreet, and for real, you could just have it up in there and just be hanging out.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). It'll be hanging out, all right. It will be hanging out. Oh, and speaking of hanging out, it has a little loop on the bottom of it so you can pull it out, so you're not fishing for it.

Kenrya: Yeah, digging around in there. Dope.

Erica: So that's what's up. All right, that's what's turning us on. And with that said, this is Erica.

Kenrya: And Killa.

Erica: Two hoes making it clap.

Kenrya: Use this. Clap, clap.

Kenrya: It's fine. You love me anyway.

Erica: I have no choice.

Kenrya: It's true.

Erica: Bye, y'all.

[theme music]​
​
Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now on your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast so you'll never miss an episode.

Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at @TheTurnOnPodcast and you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.

Kenrya: Don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.

Erica: You can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch, or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.

Kenrya: Thanks for listening, and we'll see you soon. Holla.

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SHOW NOTES
This week, we're revisiting Season 2, Episode 1 of The Turn On. Erica and Kenrya read Katrina Jackson's "From Scratch" and talk fat bodies, dating police officers and polyamorous relationships.

Resources:

• Book, "From Scratch (Welcome to Sea Port Book 1)": Amazon
• The triad in "From Scratch" also appears in "Her Christmas Cookie (Welcome to Sea Port Book 4)": Amazon
• Author, Katrina Jackson: Twitter | Instagram
• Personality test

​​​
The Turn On participates in affiliate programs, which provide a small commission when you purchase products via links on this site. This costs you nothing, but helps support the show. Click here for more information.

TRANSCRIPT
​Erica: Hey y'all, so we are here again, double dipping on that ass. This week, we are listening to episode one from season two, in which we read... Y'all, you know what I'm realizing?

Kenrya: Hmm?

Erica: That was a good ass book, but I-

Kenrya: Nigga.

Erica: I don't think I'm ready for a throuple. However, I'm definitely ready for lots of threesomes with two men.

Kenrya: Interesting. Look at that.

Erica: Because that-

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: And what was the one we just read?

Kenrya: “Be Mine.”

Erica: “Be Mine.” Yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah. “Be Mine.”

Erica: “Be Mine.”

Kenrya: In season four.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: Girl.

Erica: Yes. This some sex.

Kenrya: And then in this one, what I love about this one is that this is very much an everybody loving on everybody situation versus in “Be Mine,” they were all... It was... She was having interactions with all four of the guys or three of the guys?

Erica: Three of the guys.

Kenrya: Yeah. But then this, it was everybody was in everybody and on everybody and yes.

Erica: Which I will say is one of my favorite porn categories right now.

Kenrya: My faves for quite some time.

Erica: Huh?

Kenrya: That's been one of my faves for quite some time too. Yeah, this story was fucking fantastic.

Erica: Yeah. It was just-

Kenrya: I very much enjoyed it. Yeah. I'm so-

Erica: And.

Kenrya: Oh, go ahead.

Erica: It was based around a baker, so...

Kenrya: Oh, there's so much food talk and-

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: It was good. And then it was interesting listening to this because this is the beginning of the second season and wine, weed, and whatever you need was kind of prevalent. It was like you could see how it was developing to become a thing that you said it on every episode, but it wasn't quite there yet. But you was like...
 
Erica: Yeah. I was trying. I was-

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, "Oh, look at that shit developing." And then one other thing that really stood out to me was your unnecessary hate of “Grey's Anatomy.”

Erica: Nigga

Kenrya: And how it makes me feel.

Erica: Was still fucking on 80 years later.

Kenrya: It is. Still watching it.

Erica: Still on. It's like a fucking... It's like the...

Kenrya: Still watching it. My sister has come over to the other side and she has watched every single episode. And she's an EMT, so when they just be sitting there, she has caught up and watched every single season of the show. Yeah, you're a hater.

Erica: “Grey's Anatomy” is that ragged horse with one tooth, hanging out of its mouth...

Kenrya: She watched it.

Erica: What am I here for? And then they beat it and put it back

Kenrya: Have you ever actually watched the show?

Erica: I watched it. I'm three-

Kenrya: Did you?

Erica: Three episodes in, in season one.

Kenrya: Okay. You don't get to have an opinion.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: Whatever. But that's the thing that stuck out to me.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: I still feel a way about your hate. It's fine. Yeah.

Erica: Well, all right. Y'all sit back, relax. Get your wine, your weed, whatever you need. Oh, you know what? As we talk about our thoughts, y'all tweet us. Let us know what you're thinking as you re-listen to these old episodes and-

Kenrya: Yes. Or listen to them for the first time if you're new here. Yes.

Erica: I got caught up on my tongue, feel like Rolling Ray. Okay, anyway.

Kenrya: Really? Bye y'all. Bye.

Kenrya: Come here, get off.

[theme music]

Erica: Hey, Kenrya.

Kenrya: Hey E.

Erica: Welcome back to what? Season two of The Turn On.

Kenrya: I can always count on you for a song.

Erica: Right? Always count on me for a song. So, welcome back, Season Two of The Turn On. For our season opener, we are reading “From Scratch,” which is book one of the Welcome to Sea Port series, by Katrina Jackson.

Kenrya: It's dope, too.

Erica: So sit back, relax, get your wine, get your weed, get your ... I got to figure what I'm doing out.

Kenrya: Bitch, I thought you was going to practice this ahead.

Erica: I did not. I got to figure out what I'm going to do for Season Two, but, for now, get your wine, get your weed, get your whatever you need, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Kenrya: Back like we never left, let's go.

Erica: Back like crack.

Kenrya: No.

Erica: Okay, I don't like that. Sorry.

Kenrya: We back, y'all.

Erica: Here we go.

Kenrya: “From Scratch,” by Katrina Jackson. Knox hadn't realized it at the time, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought last night was a one-off. He'd imprinted every feeling, every taste, every sound into his brain, worried that it would never happen again. So, as he followed Mary to her bedroom, his eyes trained on her bare ass, he felt really fucking lucky, lucky and horny. Santos closed the door behind him. Knox pulled his shirt over his head and groaned when he felt Santos' hand on his shoulder. Mary stopped and turned at the foot of her bed, watching him undress. He wanted to feel them in his mouth again, but he wanted something else, first. "Get on your back," he said, his voice rough with need.

Kenrya: He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down his legs, taking his socks off as well. He crawled on the bed after her, placing kisses on whatever scrap of skin he could, her knees, her thighs, her stomach, until they were face-to-face. "I missed you two, today," Mary said, and he kissed her. He licked her lips and she opened up to him on a sigh. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and gently pried her legs apart so he could settle his hips on top of hers. She moaned and lifted her body to press her mound him. He smiled and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. "Soon," he said, and then began to kiss his way back down her body."

Kenrya: When he reached the top of her mound, he pulled back and ran his fingers along her slit, just wanting to see her. He moved her lips apart to expose her clit and licked her, sucking her clit into his mouth. "Fuck, baby," her voice was thick with lust. The sound made his dick throb. "Come here," Knox looked up to see that she was speaking to Santos, who climbed into the bed and settled on his knees at her head. Mary reached out to grasp Santos' dick and stroked him, before looking down her body to Knox. That filthy smile will be the death of him. "I'll suck him at the same pace as you eat me." "You dirty little baker," he said, and lowered his mouth to her pussy.

Kenrya: Soon enough, the quiet room was filled of the sounds of Knox's fingers sliding into Mary's wet pussy, Mary's mouth sucking loudly on Santos' cock, and Santos' moans. "Wait," Santos said, and Knox looked up, his mouth still suckling on Mary's clit. "What's wrong?" Mary asked. "Nothing, I just ..." Knox wasn't used to see Santos at a loss for words; the man didn't speak much, but when he did, he had something to say, so this was new, it was all so new. Mary started stroking Santos' cock, and he struggled to keep talking. "There are a million things I want to do to you both, so many positions, let's shift."

Kenrya: Mary sucked the head of Santos' cock back into her mouth, and then looked down at Knox, "Well, you said we should follow his gut." Knox rubbed his thumb against her clit in rough circles, she jumped and moaned. "Didn't he tell you not to be a smart ass?" Santos chuckled and climbed off of the bed, he walked toward Knox and slapped his ass, "Now you get on your back." Knox fulled his fingers from Mary's pussy and sucked them into his mouth. Mary scooted up the bed and Knox laid down in her place. "How does she taste?" Santos asked. "Like fucking vanilla almonds and pussy," Knox replied, as Mary cupped his face and kissed him. "I knew she would," Santos replied, "Sit on his face." Mary smiled against his mouth, "I like the way he thinks," Knox mumbled against Mary's lips, "I so agree."

Kenrya: She sat back on her knees before crawling over his face, settling her pussy just over his mouth. He grasped her hips and pulled her close. Santos was kissing and licking his neck, their dicks rubbing together, before he moved, ran his hands down Knox's chest and stomach, and then grasped his cock. When Santos' mouth settled over his dick, Knox's hips bucked of their own accord. The wet sounds of their mouths on one another and Mary's moans filled the room again. Knox was close, but his mouth was full, so he kept that information to himself well he fucked her entrance with his tongue, his chin putting a bit of pressure on her clit. He spread his legs when he felt Santos' hands stroking his ass. Santos took his mouth away for a minute, and Knox moaned into Mary's pussy as the cool air hit his wet dick. And then Santos' mouth was back and a wet finger was circling his anus with a soft pressure at its entrance.

Kenrya: Knox grasped Mary's cheeks hard and came into Santos' mouth, letting the vibration of his moans send Mary over the edge. "This wasn't at all what I thought moving to Sea Port would be like," Mary said wistfully to herself. Knox was lying on his back next to her, her head on his shoulder, "Neither did I. Before you got here, Mrs. Wright had the best dessert in town, I was just planning to seduce her." "Ow," he said, when Mary turned her head to playfully bite him. "Take it back," she said, looking him in the eyes. He reached out to grasp the back of her neck and raised his head to kiss her; just before his lips met hers, she moaned, her entire body shivering, as Santos fucked her pussy from behind in deep, slow strokes. Knox pulled her mouth the rest of the way to him, wanting to taste each "Oh, fuck," as it fell from her lips.

Kenrya: Santos grunted, and Knox assumed that meant that Mary was close as she was clamping down on Santos' dick. If the other man was anything like Knox, he wouldn't be able to last much longer. Knox pulled back to watch her face, waiting for the orgasm to take her under, "I take it back, honey." "Oh, gosh," she yelled, "You fucking better." Santos had started off slow, raising her left leg and slipping inside her warm channel, leisurely rolling his body into hers. Knox reached down every now and then to circle her clit or lick her nipples, but he was more than happy to just watch and talk with Mary about her hopes for the bakery, a fundraiser he was planning for some new fire equipment, and Santos' plan to be Chief of Police in a year.

Kenrya: It was all so normal, chatting while Santos fucked her. Even when he started pumping into her faster, his occasional grunts didn't detract from the moment because normal was relative, Knox thought to himself, he knew that better than anyone. When Mary's face contorted with her orgasm, Santos moved and Mary's head fell down to rest on Knox's shoulder. The two men made eye contact as Santos moved on top of her to fuck her harder and faster, chasing his own release. Knox ran his hand up and down Mary's back, lovingly, as he watched Santos' face, wanting to witness his orgasm as well.

Kenrya: "I'm close," Santos breathed in a harsh whisper. And then, just before he came, his muscles tensing and his body jerking, he looked Knox in the face and groaned out, "You're next." And then he pumped into Mary a few more times before cumming with a harsh groan, her name on his lips. "Yep, normal is totally relative."

Erica: Okay, so welcome back, that was “From Scratch,” which is the first book in the Welcome to Sea Port series. So, we will give you little bit of a background on this story. So, this series, Welcome to Sea Port, is about this little tiny town in this Southern state, I want to say South Carolina?

Kenrya: I don't remember.

Erica: I don't know why I'm thinking South Carolina. But this little tiny town in this Southern state. And, essentially, the town is falling apart, so they post on Facebook, "Hey, come to this town, and for a very low cost, you can live here, start a business, we're just trying to keep this"-

Kenrya: They give them grants to start to bring their businesses there.

Erica: Yeah. "We're just trying to keep this town from dying," which I feel like we've seen or heard about in the news, before.

Kenrya: I definitely saw it in a rom-com.

Erica: You know what? Definitely rom-com.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So, in this story, there's Mary, who is a baker ... well, no, she initially is a professor, didn't get tenure, hates her job, but she also bakes, so she says, "Fuck it, I want to move to this town, I ain't got shit else to lose," so she moves to the town. She moves to the town and, also, in the town, are Knox and Santos. Knox is a firefighter who had already been established in the town, I'm not sure how much before he was there, before everyone else, but Knox is a firefighter, he's in the town, he is the entire fire department, I think it's him and like two other people.

Kenrya: Yeah, he's the fire chief.

Erica: Yeah, he's the fire chief-

Kenrya: It's a volunteer department as well.

Erica: So if there's a big-ass fire, Knox and two other niggas, and maybe somebody else with a couple cups. And then Knox convinces his homeboy, Santos, who he served with in the Marines, to come and be the police force there.

Kenrya: I like that he was really hesitant about it because he's like police-

Erica: Police suck, yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah, he's like, "They're corrupt, there's nowhere where you can work where there's no stories about them being terrible to Black people," and then he read up on this one and found that there was nothing, and felt comfortable coming in and working there, and also, he ultimately wants to take it over and reshape it anyway, which was pretty dope.

Erica: Yeah, I thought that was really dope. So they're all in this town, there's other people in the town, but it really focuses on these three people. Long story short, they all fall for each other and begin a polyamorous relationship, which is so fucking dope, if you ask me. So there's a lot to digest in this particular excerpt, in this entire book. So, we will start with just the scene itself, and then step back into the bigger story.

Kenrya: I like it.

Erica: So the scene opens with Knox, or Santos?

Kenrya: Knox is following Mary into her room and looking at her ass.

Erica: Yeah, so Knox was like, "Yo, I've missed you all day," they had sex the night before, things were great, it was their first time having sex; this is now their second time having sex, and Knox was like, "Yo, I've been thinking about this shit all day, I'm ready to get in it." Which begs me to ask you the question, Kenrya, what do you prefer, first-time sex, or second-time I-know-the-ropes, I've-been-marinating-on-how-I'm-going-to-do-this-better sex?

Kenrya: Second-time all day. Now, sometimes that's all within the same ... like with my current partner, it was like five times in a 24-hour span when we first had sex; but even then, there's a marked change, difference, between first time and second time because you know a little bit more, right? And you're not, I don't know, it's a little bit more leisurely, you can really sit in it.

Erica: You're more willing to be more vulnerable, I feel like.

Kenrya: Yeah, because you already got through the hard part.

Erica: Yeah, like you done seen each other naked.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So it's like, "Okay, now we just going to go at it and do it."

Kenrya: "Let's just do this," yeah. Taking time is always better, to me. I'm guessing you think the same?

Erica: Yeah, I mean I like the excitement of the first time, I love being like, "Whew, that's what's there," or "Hmm, not what I expected, let's see where this goes." But, yeah, second-time, like, "Ooh, his shit curve to the left, so I can do"-

Kenrya: "Let me shift over a little bit."

Erica: Yeah, like, "Now I know I can do this," or "He really responded when I did this," or "She really responded when I did this, so let me try this." Yeah, to me, I feel like second-time is just great because you really get to marinate in that shit.

Kenrya: And it's still new, but you just got a little bit more information.

Erica: Yeah. And if I've been thinking about that shit all day, or for a period-

Kenrya: Because now you know it's good, or it at least has the potential to be fantastic.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). So then you get to be like, "Mmm."

Kenrya: Have you ever, this is unrelated because this was not their situation, but had a not-so-great experience the first time, and then decided to still come back again, and then had it be exponentially better?

Erica: I guess, yeah. I'm thinking. Yeah. Not necessarily it was bad, it just ...

Kenrya: Awkward?

Erica: Yeah, like you couldn't get in the rhythm. And then, again, once you're like, "Okay, we saw each other naked, we can go at it," it got much better. I mean, not that you ... Look, if the shit ain't right, then don't-

Kenrya: Yeah, it's like well how much work do you want to do?

Erica: Yeah, I don't want to put too much work into it. You know, good, but not quite clicking. Generally, if we're having sex consistently, like the shit clicks, like I don't force it because there's too many dicks in the sea.

Kenrya: Exactly. Just bobbing around out there.

Erica: Yeah, just bobbing around. Boop, that's a dick just in the sea, picked it up. But, yeah, I think I'm willing to give it a second go-around if it's not like fireworks at the beginning.

Kenrya: Yeah, I'm trying to think, I mean it don't have to be fireworks in the beginning, but-

Erica: But it can't be trash.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: If it's trash, then-

Kenrya: And I've done that, like once in college, the first time, it was like two minutes, and I attributed it to the fact that he had been lusting after me for a really long time before I finally fucked him, but it was like, "Nigga," we were snowed in together-

Erica: "I'm snowed in with this dick?"

Kenrya: Yeah, it was like, "Ooh, this going to be good, we can just have sex"-

Erica: "Fuck all day."

Kenrya: "Go to sleep, wake up," and it was like two, three minutes, and I was like, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Erica: I need that “Price is Right.”

Kenrya: Exactly. That's what it felt like. And it got better, but we never had fantastic sex, I should have just used that as my guy.

Erica: Life is too short for mediocre sex.

Kenrya: I was good and young and stupid, and just was like, "All right, we'll figure it out."

Erica: Yeah, because if it's mediocre at the beginning, wait 'til you got a bunch of hollering-ass kids and-

Kenrya: Yeah, exactly.

Erica: Bills and shit.

Kenrya: Mm-mmm (negative), grown-me would not have kept that moving, but, 21, maybe, me, wasn't thinking that far ahead.

Erica: Yeah. Okay, so, this story was really refreshing because it's a poly relationship-

Kenrya: Polyam.

Erica: Polyam, I'm sorry. Polyamorous relationship, and everyone interacts with everyone.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: The men, they're romantic with one another, and intimate with one another, they're also intimate with Mary, and I feel like a lot of times there's such a fear of men being intimate with one another, and it was just really refreshing to see that, especially written in a book, because I feel like a lot of time these fiction stories are fantasy. And so, often, women's fantasy is two men all into me, all about me; but it was really cool to see two men into me, all about me, but also into one another and into pleasuring one another.

Kenrya: Yeah, and they came with their own ... like they were friends and had never admitted to themselves or to each other that they felt some attraction.

Erica: Yeah, but I don't think they really realized that there was an attraction.

Kenrya: I think Santos kind of did, Knox didn't really. But Santos didn't really want to change their relationship.

Erica: Yeah. But it was really refreshing to see, and it makes me wonder how many women would really be comfortable with ... you know, like I feel like, we've touched on this before, how women help hold onto-

Kenrya: Toxic masculinity and homophobia? Yeah, sorry.

Erica: You beat me to the punch.

Kenrya: My bad.

Erica: But, yeah, I feel like we help hold on to it-

Kenrya: Abso-fucking-lutely.

Erica: By being like, "I'd never be with a bisexual man." And, to me, I'm comfortable with my man having been with another man because-

Kenrya: What the fuck that got to do with me?

Erica: That ain't got shit to do with me. If you with me, and you with me, then you with me.

Kenrya: Right, because if your concern is that y'all are monogamous, then who the fuck does it matter who he would be having sex with, or who he has had sex with it?

Erica: Because let's be clear, niggas going to fuck scallywags whether or not they men or women.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: You know? So, to me, it's not really a thing, but I feel like that's something that we are, women, have to-

Kenrya: Perpetuate.

Erica: Perpetuate, and we also have to get over. And so it was really refreshing to see it written in this fantasy world, where it's like two guys into each, into her, and it's not this weird, nasty, gross thing.

Kenrya: There was never even a discussion like that or any thoughts from Mary, like when we were in her head, she was just like, "Yes, I want to see y'all love each other, too."

Erica: Exactly. I always say, and I think Kenrya agrees, the whole adrienne maree brown “Pleasure Activism,” one of the things she talks about is pleasure, and pleasuring yourself, and loving yourself, and loving out-loud is a radical act.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: And, to me, these polyamorous relationships are a radical act, you're like, "I'm going to love who I want to love, on the terms in which I want to love in." And I was like, "Yo, this is dope as fuck, to see it written out and just out-loud and in the world."

Kenrya: Yeah. It just also, of course, sucks, like anytime that the things that make up us and the things that are just who we are have to be radicalized, right?

Erica: Yeah, I don't want-

Kenrya: Yeah, no, I know you want you mean.

Erica: I don't want the fetishsize, is that a word?

Kenrya: Yeah, that's a word.

Erica: Fetishsize, y'all know what I'm saying, I don't want to make this some weird fetish or something like that because this also rings a bit of "Ooh, your kinky Black hair, it's so gorgeous..." and you're like, "Bitch, this just the shit that grows out of my head."

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: But, also, I just think it's really great to see it just showcased.

Kenrya: Yeah, I mean everybody wants to see themselves on a page, right?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: That's literally why we do this show.

Erica: Yay.

Kenrya: So I'm glad that you found this story, and that Katrina gives us the space to be able to feature this relationship, that most people who don't know exists or act like they don't exist.

Erica: Yeah. Also, one of the things that I loved about this story, Mary is a fat woman, and we have been looking for stories that feature fat bodies because that is-

Kenrya: Just a reality.

Erica: That is a part of life, like there are fat bodies, but I make it a point to avoid ... like I was reading this one book, and it was about a woman that was fat, and the first couple pages, it's like, "Oh, better hide this part of my body, I'm struggling with my weight," and it's like some people have fat bodies just really enjoy their bodies and are comfortable with it. And so I don't want to sound like ... this reminds me of that Kevin Hart thing, where he was in The Shop like, "Some people are gay, let's not make a big deal out of it." Like I don't want to not make a big deal out of it because she's fat, but at the same time, I don't want to gloss over the fact, though.

Kenrya: Ignore the fact, yeah.

Erica: And so I think it's really dope that Mary is fat, and it is a descriptor-

Kenrya: Right, and that's it.

Erica: And some of the scenes describe her thick hips and her big ass, but it's not like it's something that-

Kenrya: It's not pathologized, it's just who she is.

Erica: It is, it's who she is, and it's something that is appreciated and loved by her partners.

Kenrya: And by her.

Erica: Yeah. I mean and then she's a baker, which I'm just like, "Yeah, bitch," she's-

Kenrya: All the scenes where she's baking, I'm just like ... you know how I feel about carbs.

Erica: Yes. And she's also really trying to perfect her vegan baking.

Kenrya: Yes, which made me really happy.

Erica: Yeah ...

Kenrya: Don't roll ... That apple pie I made you, bitch, that was vegan, I didn't tell you, that's vegan pie crust.

Erica: Oh, shit.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative), see? Mm-hmm (affirmative), turn your nose up if you want to.

Erica: Update: Kenrya did make a pie for my whole house, and I ate it in like a weekend, so if y'all following the whole apple pie situation.

Kenrya: Vegan.

Erica: That shit was good.

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: So, yeah we appreciate Mary for being fat, appreciate loving her body, not making it this horrible thing, but also not hiding it. And also just being a baker, like she's just a woman, and I think that's the thing, some of us are fat, and we still love and fuck and have two men after us, and all of that, so it was really dope.

Kenrya: I also, sorry, love that ... you said earlier, she was a professor at a college, she got passed over for tenure, which we don't learn a whole lot about, but she definitely talks about being a Black woman and the whole in the academy and how that shit sucks. And I love that she just was like, "You know what?"

Erica: "This ain't working for me."

Kenrya: "Yeah, this ain't it, so I'm just going to do something else now. Bye." And her homegirls, she's got this whole little circle of friends, and they're super supportive of her going off and doing what she wants to do.

Erica: But her circle of friends were very much a circle of friends. Mary's group of friends were dope as shit because, again, I feel like, Katrina, you know Black women.

Kenrya: Yeah, clearly.

Erica: You know us, I mean you're a Black woman, so I guess you do, but I feel like you did a really great job of crafting a group of friends, like there's the supportive one, there's one that's like-

Kenrya: A little skeptical.

Erica: "I love you, but I'm going to be skeptical because I need you to make sure everything ..." like I definitely felt our one girlfriend, who's in the military and really good with money, and always like, "You need to think these things ..." I could see-

Kenrya: Yes, that's totally her.

Erica: A type of my girlfriends in her group of friends. One girlfriend was like, "Ooh, bitch, I'm moving here, too," it was just so dope to see her with such a supportive and robust group of girlfriends. This was just, overall, a really, really sweet, good book. Here's the thing-

Kenrya: It was. And moved quickly, the pacing was good.

Erica: I find myself, when things get difficult, you know how books have a story where there's like a crescendo, and there's a climax, and a this-is-the-problem, we meet the problem, and then we fight through the problem-

Kenrya: You mean traditional storytelling, an arc?

Erica: Okay, yeah, whatever, tomato/tomato, potato/potato, bitch, whatever, that thing. I hate it. I know that's a part of books, and some books are really great, we're actually reading a story for this, where it's that, and I am just like, "It's so good." But this story had it, but it wasn't like, "Oh my God, will they, won't they?" It was just, "Okay, this is a problem, we're going to face it and we're going to get through it." It was just such a good, sweet-

Kenrya: It was gentle.

Erica: It was a gentle book. It was such a gentle book.

Kenrya: In the very best way.

Erica: In the very best way. I loved the playfulness between the three of them, and you could see it during the sex, I think we've said this a million times-

Kenrya: Playful sex is the best, you got to have fun.

Erica: Yeah, and they were like fucking with each other, and giving each other a little something-something, I'm like, "Oh, wait, what did he ..." Oh, shit, I had a flashback to this morning.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: To some playful shit that went on, I was definitely about to be like, "Oh, you're reading the book?" Definitely not what happened in this, it was something what happened this morning. But, yeah, it was definitely just so great to see them so playful and just enjoying each other in more than just a sexual way, but just enjoying each other's company.

Kenrya: Yeah, which is why we kept going in the reading, I really thought it was key to show how Mary and Knox were just talking while she was fucking Santos, they're talking about their hopes and dreams and shit, and she getting her back blown out, I was just like, "This is the fucking best."

Erica: Ain't that the dandiest thing?

Kenrya: Yeah. It's interesting, too, and I think we'll talk about this when we have a guest on, but that there's a lot of different ways to be polyam, right? So in this situation, they're a throuple, they are living their lives together, and having sex together, but being polyamorous or ethically monogamous-

Erica: Non-monogamous.

Kenrya: Non-monogamous can look a lot of different ways, and it doesn't mean necessarily that partners are interacting with each other, it can mean that you have separate relationships with separate people, and very often it does mean that, but I thought this was an interesting way for us to illustrate it, with this particular story.

Erica: Yeah, and I think this is where the every-girl fantasy comes in because, bitch, I would love to have two men just happily come home to one titty a piece, or two titties and a pussy. But it was just like, "Man, this is just delightful. Delightful." Okay, we touched on this a little bit, so Santos is a cop, Knox is a firefighter.

Kenrya: They're like small-town rom-com jobs.

Erica: Very much small-town rom-tom ... rom-com.

Kenrya: Rom-tom.

Erica: Rom-tom, rom-tom, rom-tom. Have you ever dated a man in uniform?

Kenrya: Bitch, you know I have-

Erica: She rolling her eyes.

Kenrya: I hate you.

Erica: I was setting her up for-

Kenrya: I hate you, I was like, "Why is she looking at me like this?"

Erica: I was setting her up for the thing.

Kenrya: Yeah, I've dated a cop.

Erica: I think some of the attraction to a cop and a firefighter comes with just the uniform.

Kenrya: That ain't why I was there.

Erica: Well, okay. But people are like, "Ooh, I love me a firefighter, I love me a cop," I think a lot of it just comes with the uniform. Now I have a girlfriend who's married to a firefighter and she's like, "Bitch, you ain't never heard a song saying, ‘Fuck the firefighters,’ right?"

Kenrya: That's true.

Erica: "Fuck the EMS." Everybody loves a firefighter, everybody loves an EMS worker.

Kenrya: Yeah. But they have dangerous jobs.

Erica: And really good benefits. This is where the old auntie in me come in, I'm like, "Girl, you trying to get them teeth fixed, marry you a firefighter."

Kenrya: See, I would perpetually worry ... So, okay, I still watch “Grey's,” I know a lot of folks don't.

Erica: You and 12 other people.

Kenrya: Yep, it's fine, it's still going, and I still care about the characters, and it still gets me.

Erica: Well you and 12 other Black women.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: White women still love it.

Kenrya: But so Miranda, one of the main characters, a Black woman who's been there from the beginning, is married to ... why you making that face?

Erica: Who's Miranda?

Kenrya: She's one of the main fucking characters on the ... you don't even watch the show.

Erica: A strong Black woman?

Kenrya: She's actually had an arc that is deviating from that, she had a heart attack, and started having panic attacks, and all of this stuff, and so she had to back off that strong Black woman shit.

Erica: I'm rolling my eyes [crosstalk 00:31:33]-

Kenrya: Whatever, bitch, the show is fantastic. My point is that her husband went from being an anesthesiologist to being a firefighter.

Erica: Who the fuck does that?

Kenrya: Niggas on “Grey's Anatomy.”

Erica: “Grey's Anatomy,” you right.

Kenrya: But so she spent all this time, like she's always worried about him, that shit's dangerous, so that would be my concern.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Good benefits are cool, but, damn, are you going to come home?

Erica: So how do you feel about, like with dating a cop, the "fuck the police"? Or, you know what, I'll start because you're rolling your eyes so hard at me because we know where this is. So it's really difficult for me to ... actually, one of my partners right now is former police, and, as being a Black woman and all that shit, man, I can't fuck with the po-po. It's hard to fuck with the po-po. But, when you meet Black men that are police, you kind of understand like, "Okay, they're trying to work from within, or do what's right, or help the community," and I think that, especially to combat what's happening in the world with the police, we need-

Kenrya: We're so Midwestern, "police."

Erica: I know. With the police, I feel like we need Black people from their own community who want to police, I think part of that is ... I mean, don't get me going because I am not the pro on this, Kenrya is, but-

Kenrya: I'm not a pro, I think community policing is great, in theory, but if we're talking about the carceral system as a whole, we need to abolish that shit, and so police departments and law enforcement, as they stand right now, are not a tenable thing, if that's where we're going. That said, I mean the cop who I dated, his whole thing was exactly that, you need some people within the system to be able to fight, you can't just do it all from outside. And that's cool, whatever, but, honestly, the biggest issue that I faced with him, and that I see with a lot of cops, is that they're fucking assholes.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: It's like power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, like, okay, sure. Community policing, but you still a fucking asshole.

Erica: You're still a jerk.

Kenrya: And so just on an interpersonal level, it doesn't work for me and I would never date a cop again. Well hopefully I won't date another person again, but when I was on the fucking ... I know.

Erica: Did you hear that? Ooh.

Kenrya: Ooh. When I was on the apps, I had certain things that were automatic left swipes: being a law enforcement officer, calling yourself an alpha male, posting a picture of yourself with your car-

Erica: Sapiosexuals.

Kenrya: Yes, fuck them.

Erica: What the fuck is a sapiosexual?

Kenrya: Someone who claims that they are sexually attracted to someone's mind. Get the fuck out of here.

Erica: Your old, fucking, what was the “Mind Sex,” dead prez-ass, get the fuck ... I don't even know what the fuck a sapiosexual is, but when I see it on-

Kenrya: I didn't know until I got on Bumble.

Erica: A goddamn Bumble, I just be like, "I'm not googling to know what the fuck you are. Pussysexual? Okay, I can do that."

Kenrya: It's just so pretentious and bullshit.

Erica: That's exactly what it is.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Also, what I hate-

Kenrya: You swiped because you saw my titties on here.

Erica: Right? Like you didn't even see what the fuck was going on. Also what I hate, and I don't understand it, one, niggas that take pictures at their desk, at work, like, "I have a job, here's my cubicle," one.

Kenrya: They try to prove, just like the niggas who, "I have a car."

Erica: Two, when people put their Myers-Brigg personality, and maybe this is just ... if this goes on outside of the D.C. area, please let me know, but I feel like this is-

Kenrya: Interesting.

Erica: Some total D.C. shit, but they be like, "I'm an ENTJ-OMP."

Kenrya: Where did "OMP" come from?

Erica: What the fuck? Like I don't even know what the fuck that means, and-

Kenrya: I look those up, I just think it's interesting.

Erica: I'm not asking you to fucking supervise me in making sure I get my TPS reports in. Like am I going to enjoy you, are you going to fuck me right? I don't need your fucking Myers-Brigg personality test-

Kenrya: That's so funny.

Erica: For fucking relationships. Get the fuck on.

Kenrya: Not that it's something that I look for, but when they put them on, if I'm already attracted to them, because it's not going to be the thing that's going to make me swipe, obviously; but if everything checks out and I want to start up a conversation, because I only would do ones where I could start the conversation because ick, it could be a good conversation starter, so I would look them up to see what it was, and then say something about them.

Erica: And says, "You're an ENTJ-OMP," how would you start that?

Kenrya: It would depend on what their thing was. So, sometimes, it would be something that was really close to mine, which I'm blanking on what it is, so then there would be a conversation about how we're the same or we're different.

Erica: "I like lists, do you?"

Kenrya: Wittier than that because a bitch is clever.

Erica: And this is why I get nothing on the apps.

Kenrya: But, yeah, sometimes those are interesting. To me, it's like astrology, if somebody says that they're a Capricorn, I'm like, "Oh, so you frugal?" you know what I mean? It turns into a whole conversation, it can, if they not dry as fuck. So it's just a conversation starter, to me.

Erica: Okay, I'll give that to you. I'm still not swiping on the ENTJ-OMP ass.

Kenrya: I dig it. I wonder, that is a good question, if it's something that happens outside the DMV, because this is such a specific area.

Erica: Yeah, I feel like it's only a DMV.... Yeah, I feel like it's definitely a D.C.

Kenrya: Yeah. I remember when I moved back here, after living in New York for so long, and the first time I went out, and a nigga asked if I had a business card, and I was like, "The fuck?"

Erica: I never have business cards, but I definitely do ask people what they do.

Kenrya: That's so D.C. and so ugly. I hate it.

Erica: I know that is so ... I know. Yeah, I know people hate it, but, to me, it's not even a trying-to-size-you-up thing, I just feel like you're at work Monday through Friday more than you're at home, and so, for me, that gives me a clue in what you do, what makes you excited. Because even now, if someone asked me, "What do you do?" I usually tell people, "I get paid a whole lot of money to boss people around. But, what I really enjoy doing," and then I go into the podcast. So it's not even ... I usually don't tell them I get paid a lot of money because, nigga, you buying drinks.

Kenrya: That sounds-

Erica: Yeah, and that sounds pretentious. But I say some bullshit about, like gloss over what I do, "But really what I'm interested in is my podcast," because I look at it less as a sizing-you-up and more as a "Okay, motherfucker, you with that bitch for 10 hours a day, you're away from your home for 10 hours a day, dealing with this shit, commuting, whatever, let me know what it is that you are interested in, what you like to do," well not even what you like ... for me, that's more of a jumping off point than ENJT-LMNOP.

Kenrya: And, see, I think you're unique in looking at that way, I think most people in this area are sizing you up.

Erica: Oh, you ain't getting shit out of me.

Kenrya: Not about money, but I remember going to a CBC event a few months ago, and not just men, like everybody who I met, "Oh, what firm are you with? What do you do?" Bitch, I mind my motherfucking business, like you should be.

Erica: Yeah, okay.

Kenrya: It's just rude, to me. I don't like it.

Erica: Yeah, I don't get offended by it. Well, if you out with Erica and she asks what you do, it is definitely not because I'm trying to size you up, I literally just want to know what makes you tick. And, also, there should be something that gives you joy in life, and so that's why I'm like, "Oh, well, I work, but this is what I do for ... this is my passion, not keeping homeless people out of jail," or something like that because I find, when I ask that kind of question, I get ... if I were to ask you, "What do you do?" I'd learn a whole bunch of shit about some really dope books, and really dope websites, and that kind of thing.

Kenrya: I usually just say, "I write."

Erica: Well, yeah.

Kenrya: Maybe that's just my playing down my shit, but, "I write."

Erica: Yeah, see, if I were interested in you, I would ask more, "About what? What do you write?" that kind of thing. Bitch, I got you, you ain't going no-motherfucking-where, so you can keep them short-ass answers. You can keep them short-ass answers. Okay, so, you touched on how polyam relationships can be different, they can be a throuple, where it's all three ... well, I don't want to say throuple, it could be a relationship in which everyone-

Kenrya: Is in relationship with each other.

Erica: Is in relationship with each other, it could be one person having two separate relationships, and everyone knowing about it, it could be each person have their own relationships; polyamorous relationships look a million different ways, and hopefully for our 1.5 episode of Season Two, we will get to speak with someone that can talk about her personal experience, her very specific experience in a polyam relationship. But it makes me want to ask you: do you think you could be in a polyamorous relationship, Kenrya?

Kenrya: No, and I can answer that quickly. So I just recently did this whole series for prevention about sex diaries of people, where folks just told me every part of their sex lives, for a week, for some of them; for months, for some of them, like folks who didn't have sex very frequently. And three of the people who I interviewed, one was in an open marriage that recently closed, and two were in polyamorous relationships ... why do I have so much trouble saying this shit? Ethically non-monogamous relationships.

Kenrya: Yeah, it was all different ways, and so it was great because when I do this kind of work, it gives me a really great jumping off point for conversations with my partner. And so we were talking about it, he was like, "Is this something that you would ever want to do?" And I was like, "Nah," and he was like, "Well, why?" And I was like, "Well, I think it is a fantastic way to live for folks who it is for, there's no judgment about it. It is just that I know myself, and I think because ..."

Kenrya: My number one love language is time, I don't like to share, I require a lot of time, I just do; I want to see you on a regular basis, I want to spend all the moments of the weekends with you, I want to talk on the phone with you every day, I want to be able to pop over and grab lunch, I want to be able to pop over and have a quickie before I got to pick my kid up from school, and if the boundaries that we have to set are such that we are sharing whatever, that won't work for me because I'm too greedy.

Erica: Yeah. I mean, I used to always say I couldn't be in a polyamorous relationship, I don't think I could be in a throuple, a relationship where we all are with one another because, to me, that requires a level of respect and communication; I mean it's hard respecting and communicating with one person, let alone two, three people.

Kenrya: You got to be so mature and good at setting and maintaining boundaries and knowing what you want and being able to communicate that. It's so dope.

Erica: Yeah. But I think I could be in an open relationship, where we prioritize one another. So like if I need you, I want you, you need to drop whatever you got going on to be with me.

Kenrya: So like that was your understanding with your primary partner?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Gotcha.

Erica: I think I'd be okay with ... because, to me, sex is sex, intimacy is another thing. And so I'd be fine with you doing your thing, and me doing my thing, I mean at least right now, I mean I don't think I could see that being a super down-the-line thing. But until we hit a point, shit, I have a couple partners now, where it's like you do your thing, I do my thing, and we'll do our thing together.

Erica: I don't think it's really formally a ... because we're not necessarily a couple, so I don't think we could call it an open relationship, but I think as long as everyone is being respectful of one another, and, like in these relationships, we're not primary partners, we're just dating. But if I were a primary partner, and it was understood that what I want, what I need, I shut down, I'll be fine because I'm going to be doing the same thing, and I think that this is where ...

Erica: We talk about that line with the whole, we talked a little bit when we were talking about hoteps, how hoteps ... Hoteps give polyamorous relationships a bad name, I feel like, because, with hoteps, it's a I'm-the-only-dick-in-the-equation thing, like, "I am the man, I'm going to have all my bitches ... I'm going to have all my women"-

Kenrya: Your queens.

Erica: "Y'all my queens, and y'all my queens, but I'm the only king in your life." I'm going to do my shit, you do your thing, and we just going to be cool, like we all understand that this is a two-way street, I think I'd be okay with that.

Kenrya: Right. I think it's interesting because that made me realize that, even in my response, I've internalized that because I took it from the standpoint of me being with somebody and him being with somebody else, and not from the standpoint of me being with somebody and me also being with somebody else. And part of that is conditioning, right, and so I condition as being conditioned.

Kenrya: But, also, I have no desire to put in that much ... Like being in a healthy relationship requires a lot of energy, and that's not a bad thing, and I'm not saying it requires a lot of work, but I'm really intentional about the way that I develop my relationship with my partner, and the way that I interact with him. And the idea of doing that with more than one person is exhausting. Yeah, I'm tired.

Erica: Yeah, no, I couldn't see myself giving ... because if I'm with someone, I give.

Kenrya: So much.

Erica: If I'm with you-with you, I give you a lot of me.

Kenrya: Right. And I wouldn't do it ... like you were saying, "If it's sex, it's sex," but I think, usually with a polyamorous relationship, it's not really the same as just being open, where you're having sex with somebody else, I mean it could look that way, but it could also look like you have an intimate, fully developed, well-rounded relationship with somebody else-

Erica: Yeah, I can't have multiple-

Kenrya: And that just feels like too much for me to handle.

Erica: That's too much fucking work. If I'm doing it right, I don't want to say if you're doing it right, if I'm doing it right-

Kenrya: The way that you want to.

Erica: Yeah. If I'm doing a relationship, I am with you right, the way that I want to, I'm saying "right" as in "right for Erica," I'm putting a lot of energy into that person, I'm putting a lot of energy into that relationship and making it work because it's tough putting two people together.

Kenrya: Yes, grown folks who got their own lives and come with all their own stuff, and have your own goals.

Erica: Yeah, and I ain't giving that shit to multiple people because I ain't got it to give to multiple people, like it takes a lot for me to ... I am a mother, I have to account for a whole ’nother little person.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: If I'm with you, and I'm accounting for you and another little person, I'd be goddamn if I'm going to throw another motherfucker into the mix, so I say I would be down with an open relationship, in the sense of here-and-there, no real-

Kenrya: Right, you get to define it the way that you want to.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Well you all do.

Erica: I used to say marriages, but I say all relationships are essentially a contract between those people, and whatever you want it to look like, that's what it is, and as long as y'all honoring what you put this to be, then that's cool, and I think it's so much more important when you're a polyamorous relationship because you really have to think about what goes into this contract and can I honor it, can I be okay with this?

Kenrya: And trust that your partners can. I think that that's part of the unsaid part of why it feels difficult to me, and it's because I've been in a relationship that was open and didn't know it. As someone who was cheated on in a marriage for many years, there's always this underlying fear that the contract will not be honored. It's not something I struggle with every day because I've gotten to a point where I'm with a partner who I trust-

Erica: Yeah, you're with a partner that gives you that assurance.

Kenrya: Exactly. And so I do not make him pay for the sins of other niggas. But the idea of being in a relationship where you got to bring that many more people into the contract feels scary to me because of what I have been through before.

Erica: Yeah. I think that young Erica that was willing to, "Yeah, whatever you want, I'm a cool girl"-

Kenrya: "Cool girl," yeah.

Erica: I probably would have been like, "I'm down for an open relationship," and been all fucked up. But I think now that ... because, shit, had you asked me fucking 12 months ago, or a year, depending on how you look at it, had you asked me a year ago, I don't think I would have been down for an open relationship.

Kenrya: Interesting.

Erica: But as I think and grow and change, I definitely think I would be okay with it, but, one, I'd have to be very sure that the person ... well, you're never sure, but I had to be very comfortable with the person that I'm in this relationship with is going to respect and honor the rules that we set.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: Yeah, and I'd have to be sure that the rules that I set I am comfortable with, the rules that I agree to. No, that I set. I ain’t agreeing to shit.

Kenrya: That you set together.

Erica: Right. That we set together, that I'm comfortable with. As I grow and learn and change, this all changes, so in another 12 months, or a year-

Kenrya: Or a year.

Erica: That might be different. But, yeah, that's where I am.

Kenrya: It's evolution, baby.

Erica: Evolution, motherfuckers. So, that's us.

Kenrya: It is.

Erica: That's how we feel about polyamorous relationships, polyam, Kenrya had to correct me because "poly" is more of a term of Polynesian folk.

Kenrya: That's right.

Erica: And not polyamorous folks, so the correct term is "polyam," just a little learning there, I'm going to be pretentious and share what I learned.

Kenrya: It was a whole issue on Tumblr, where Polynesian folks were having trouble finding their communities because polyamorous folks were using the poly tag.

Erica: Okay, yeah, and I'd be mad if I was a fine-ass Samoan with some thick thighs and thick-ass wavy hair, looking for some more fine-ass, thick-thighed, long, wavy, thick-haired people.

Kenrya: Really?

Erica: And I come with y'all freak-ass polyamorous folks. I mean, I'd be like-

Kenrya: You'd be fine.

Erica: "Mmm, hey. But I was looking for some fine, thick," I sound like that nigga that left that voicemail that's like, "Gushing and a'farting and a'sucking."

Kenrya: What the hell?

Erica: I'm going to have to send it to you.

Kenrya: Is this something on Twitter?

Erica: It was on a show, it's where this dude left this long-ass voicemail, like, "Girl, we going to be fucking and a'gushing and a'farting, and I'm going to be fucking you and gushing and a'farting, and it's going to be gushing," he says more than "gushing and farting," but, anyways, that's how I feel-

Kenrya: That's what you remember.

Erica: As I describe Polynesian folk. Oh my God, this went a whole different place.

Kenrya: It did.

Erica: I apologize. Okay, well thank you for joining us for our first episode back, for season two of The Turn On. This is Erica and Kenrya, two hoes, making it clap.

Kenrya: Two hoes, making it clap.

Erica: Gushing and a'farting.

[theme music]

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now on your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast so you'll never miss an episode.

Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at @TheTurnOnPodcast and you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.

Kenrya: Don't forget to email us at TheTurnOnPodcast@gmail.com with your book recommendations and your pressing sex-and related questions.

Erica: You can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch, or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.

Kenrya: Thanks for listening, and we'll see you soon. Holla.